NationStates Jolt Archive


F---ing Jahova's witness's

Aust
05-07-2005, 18:01
JUST LEAVE ME ALONe!! Thats three today, we havn't ahd them before. Are they always so fucking annoying???? Takes half an hour to get rid of them, only after getting into a shouting conest about the existance of god...BASTARDS!
Sarkasis
05-07-2005, 18:04
If they are true J.W. believers, they won't be able to refuse if you ask them for help in your yard. Ask them to help you trim the trees, wash the windows, and so on. They'll be more than happy because helping others is part of their core values. And quite strangely, they'll come less often afterwards...
Personal responsibilit
05-07-2005, 18:05
JUST LEAVE ME ALONe!! Thats three today, we havn't ahd them before. Are they always so fucking annoying???? Takes half an hour to get rid of them, only after getting into a shouting conest about the existance of god...BASTARDS!

Actually, in my experience, they tend to be quite chaste. Further, although I'm not overly fond of having them knock at my door either, it is a very small price to pay IMO to have the free exersize of religion protected as it is from a Constitutional perspective.

If you don't like it, ask them politely to leave and close the door and call the police if you have to.
Drunk commies deleted
05-07-2005, 18:05
I tell them that I'm a satanist and offer them my copy of the satanic bible by LaVey. They never accept it and always leave.

EDIT: This works with mormons too. In fact, I haven't been visited by either sect in months.
New Sans
05-07-2005, 18:05
JUST LEAVE ME ALONe!! Thats three today, we havn't ahd them before. Are they always so fucking annoying???? Takes half an hour to get rid of them, only after getting into a shouting conest about the existance of god...BASTARDS!

By any chance did you politely tell them you aren't interested and closed the door on them?
Neo Rogolia
05-07-2005, 18:06
It's Jehova not Jahova. If you're going to attack someone's convictions, at least spell their God correctly ;)
Lunatic Goofballs
05-07-2005, 18:06
A few days ago, some Jehova's Witnesses showed up at my door. The beautiful thing was that I saw em coming. Hehehe.

So, since I was wearing nothing but sweatpants and socks, I quickly slipped off the sweatpants and waited. When they rang my bell a couple times, I opened the door and stood there before them in all my naked glory. Before they could react, I said in my most disappointed voice; "You're not the ice cream man." ANd I closed the door.

They left. :D
Keruvalia
05-07-2005, 18:06
JUST LEAVE ME ALONe!!

Why don't you tell them that instead of bothering us?
BlackKnight_Poet
05-07-2005, 18:07
JUST LEAVE ME ALONe!! Thats three today, we havn't ahd them before. Are they always so fucking annoying???? Takes half an hour to get rid of them, only after getting into a shouting conest about the existance of god...BASTARDS!


Try working on your car and having them show up. You are all full of grease and they keep asking if you want to read the Tower? Once we saw them across the street and about to come over to my house. So we went outside in the backyard with guns and started to target practice. They drove up and started talking. We then just started firing off round after round until they left :p
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:07
JUST LEAVE ME ALONe!! Thats three today, we havn't ahd them before. Are they always so fucking annoying???? Takes half an hour to get rid of them, only after getting into a shouting conest about the existance of god...BASTARDS!

Do what I do. I'm a fundamentalist Christian, and I am not a Jehovah's Witness.

When they ask me if I've "found" Jesus, I say yes. When their eyes light up in anticipation, I then turn and yell upstairs, "Hey Jesus! Are you still here?"

Then I turn and explain that He's been living in my house for years, and that I didn't know He was lost.
Eh-oh
05-07-2005, 18:08
JUST LEAVE ME ALONe!! Thats three today, we havn't ahd them before. Are they always so fucking annoying???? Takes half an hour to get rid of them, only after getting into a shouting conest about the existance of god...BASTARDS!

that's a bit of a mean generalization. some of my best friends are jehova's witnesses and i would certainly not regard them as annoying. have you tried asking them politely to refrain coming to your house as you are not interested. it's in their religion to preach their religion to others.
Laerod
05-07-2005, 18:09
JUST LEAVE ME ALONe!! Thats three today, we havn't ahd them before. Are they always so fucking annoying???? Takes half an hour to get rid of them, only after getting into a shouting conest about the existance of god...BASTARDS!
I heard that saying "Shalom!" when you open the door to them helps...
Carnivorous Lickers
05-07-2005, 18:09
Its nearly impossible to get them to leave while being polite. Many times I have thanked them for their time and tried to be polite, but after years of experience, they have an answer for every possible response.

I now ask them for their cards-if I have their names I can track down their homes and go there and sell them fundraising items from my church or the kids school. They dont want to give you that info though.

I once took my pants off and answered the door in my shorts. That seemed to shorten their efforts.

Another time, my wife told them they need to leave quickly as I was a devil worshipper and they would be better off not catching my attention.

Best yet-we live on a dead end cul de sac-our neighbor calls to let us know they're about and we dont answer the door.
New Sans
05-07-2005, 18:10
A few days ago, some Jehova's Witnesses showed up at my door. The beautiful thing was that I saw em coming. Hehehe.

So, since I was wearing nothing but sweatpants and socks, I quickly slipped off the sweatpants and waited. When they rang my bell a couple times, I opened the door and stood there before them in all my naked glory. Before they could react, I said in my most disappointed voice; "You're not the ice cream man." ANd I closed the door.

They left. :D

Now if that would only work bill collectors...
Gmail
05-07-2005, 18:10
Actually it's Jehovah. :)
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 18:11
Yeah, but they have nice suits. That's always a good thing for a religion. And they're willing to die for their beliefs. Hell, they're willing to kill their own kids for their beliefs. Man, you can't knock a religion that's willing to kill its own kids. That's hardcore godloving.
Lunatic Goofballs
05-07-2005, 18:11
Do what I do. I'm a fundamentalist Christian, and I am not a Jehovah's Witness.

When they ask me if I've "found" Jesus, I say yes. When their eyes light up in anticipation, I then turn and yell upstairs, "Hey Jesus! Are you still here?"

Then I turn and explain that He's been living in my house for years, and that I didn't know He was lost.

Or in response to 'Have you found Jesus?"

Disappointed response; "Only the one piece." :(
Someemokid
05-07-2005, 18:12
One of my good friends is a Witness. She's absolutely polite and probably one of the nicest girls in the world.

Talking to her is better than talking to any religious southern zealot. At least she hasn't had the gusto to tell me I'm going to hell.

They may be persistent, but they're not assholes like most christians.
Carnivorous Lickers
05-07-2005, 18:12
A few days ago, some Jehova's Witnesses showed up at my door. The beautiful thing was that I saw em coming. Hehehe.

So, since I was wearing nothing but sweatpants and socks, I quickly slipped off the sweatpants and waited. When they rang my bell a couple times, I opened the door and stood there before them in all my naked glory. Before they could react, I said in my most disappointed voice; "You're not the ice cream man." ANd I closed the door.

They left. :D


Ha- I didnt have the nerve to answer naked. I did consider opening the door with an unsheathed K-Bar in hand and lick it intently as they spoke.
Aust
05-07-2005, 18:12
I know i'm being a bit mean here, but I've just come back for Work Experience come in and 5 secodns later I have these guys at my door, trying everything to get me to let them in, including foot in the door.

I told 'em my views and then they disagreed, after a bit of a debate, (Ie: they told me god was here, I would go to hell ect.) I simply told them if they didn't leave I'd set the dogs on 'em. They left.

Arn't they the ones who balive there are 144,000 places in heaven or somthing?
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:13
Or in response to 'Have you found Jesus?"

Disappointed response; "Only the one piece." :(

I've also answered, "That's me!"

At the office, on a similar note, I'm also fond of hearing people shout the occasional epithet, "Jesus Christ!" or, "God!"

and I always shout around the corner, "Yes?"
Lunatic Goofballs
05-07-2005, 18:15
Now if that would only work bill collectors...

They tend to phone me while I'm eating dinner. They don't visit. Maybe they know my reputation. ;) Anyhoo... They always use machine dialers and there is a long pause after you answer. So you end up saying, "Hello. <pause> Hello?" And then they pounce. So I never say 'Hello' twice. If I don't get an immediate response to my first Hello, I hang up. *nod*
Neo Rogolia
05-07-2005, 18:15
Actually it's Jehovah. :)



I knew that :(
New Sans
05-07-2005, 18:15
I know i'm being a bit mean here, but I've just come back for Work Experience come in and 5 secodns later I have these guys at my door, trying everything to get me to let them in, including foot in the door.

I told 'em my views and then they disagreed, after a bit of a debate, (Ie: they told me god was here, I would go to hell ect.) I simply told them if they didn't leave I'd set the dogs on 'em. They left.

Arn't they the ones who balive there are 144,000 places in heaven or somthing?

Should have said the Snozberries taste like Snozberries after licking the door a few times. Probably would have shortened the talk a bit.
Keruvalia
05-07-2005, 18:15
I heard that saying "Shalom!" when you open the door to them helps...

Having a mezzuzah keeps them away. So does "asala'am alaikum".
Greater Finnland
05-07-2005, 18:16
Hey gals,take some food with you like bread when you open the door.
Then they usually won't bother you 'coz you were eating.
Carnivorous Lickers
05-07-2005, 18:16
One of my good friends is a Witness. She's absolutely polite and probably one of the nicest girls in the world.

Talking to her is better than talking to any religious southern zealot. At least she hasn't had the gusto to tell me I'm going to hell.

They may be persistent, but they're not assholes like most christians.


"Most Christians"? Thats a fairly stupid comment. I've never had a christian tell me I'm going to hell.
And if I'm not mistaken. JWs firmly believe that all but 144,000 souls will get into heaven-total. Even fellow JWs.
Lunatic Goofballs
05-07-2005, 18:17
Ha- I didnt have the nerve to answer naked. I did consider opening the door with an unsheathed K-Bar in hand and lick it intently as they spoke.

Well, I do. But we all knew that. Besides, I was only wearing the sweats anyway.
Drunk commies deleted
05-07-2005, 18:17
"Most Christians"? Thats a fairly stupid comment. I've never had a christian tell me I'm going to hell.
And if I'm not mistaken. JWs firmly believe that all but 144,000 souls will get into heaven-total. Even fellow JWs.
That doesn't necessarily mean that they beleive the rest are going to hell.
Kroblexskij
05-07-2005, 18:18
have you found jesus

why yes i have and so can you, with the jesus-o-meter, it measures religous factor and put it on an easy to read chart.

its only 9.99 and you CAN'T buy it in the shops.

But not only am i giving you this, you get the buddahometer the allah-measurer for the people for which 1 religeon is not enough. :D
Eh-oh
05-07-2005, 18:18
Arn't they the ones who balive there are 144,000 places in heaven or somthing?

they believe that there is about a hundred and forty-something thousand people who have ever lived on earth will go to heaven. if i was a JW i wouldn't fair my chances of getting to the big place. oh and JW's saying people go to hell, that's kind of strange considering they don't believe in hell.
Olantia
05-07-2005, 18:19
JUST LEAVE ME ALONe!! Thats three today, we havn't ahd them before. Are they always so fucking annoying???? Takes half an hour to get rid of them, only after getting into a shouting conest about the existance of god...BASTARDS!
You're lucky. Yesterday I was importuned for money by drunks on two separate occasions (the second drunk was more of accosting, not importuning, type). I'd prefer Jehovah's Witnesses...
Personal responsibilit
05-07-2005, 18:20
I've also answered, "That's me!"

At the office, on a similar note, I'm also fond of hearing people shout the occasional epithet, "Jesus Christ!" or, "God!"

and I always shout around the corner, "Yes?"

You aren't by chance a Psychiatrist from India are you?? ;) Just kidding. I have a colleague that had a delusional and hallucinating patient tell him that Jesus to him to kill himself. The doc just replied that he had just spoken to Jesus himself and that He said to tell you He changed His mind. The patient believed, and stablized on meds. and lived happily ever after.
Lunatic Goofballs
05-07-2005, 18:20
:eek: Egad! 144,000 religious nuts?!? WHo the hell would want to end up with them??? :p
Carnivorous Lickers
05-07-2005, 18:22
what it boils down to-I dont give a flying fuck what you believe in-you can worship Pez dispensers for all I care. Just keep to what you believe and dont try to tell me about it.

Just dont tell me or my kids about it. I never tell them what I believe-its none of their business.

I'm quite secure in my beliefs, I have faith and my God will take care of me.

Just as I believe the God & faith you follow will take care of you.
Laerod
05-07-2005, 18:22
I s'pose we're lucky in Germany. They don't come ringing much, they usually stand around at places a lot of people go to (trainstations, shopping streets, etc). I currently live in the East of Germany, which was avowedly athiest and took its toll on religious groups. The worst I get now is conversion commercials in my mailbox, which is conveniently close to a trash can.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:22
:eek: Egad! 144,000 religious nuts?!? WHo the hell would want to end up with them??? :p

I actually believe the 144,000 number. But it won't be religious nuts.

After you filter out all the assholes in human history, that's probably the number of nice people you would like to spend eternity with.
The Downmarching Void
05-07-2005, 18:22
I try being polite to JWs and (especially) Mormons. Most will leave me alone when I tell them I'm a Bahai. When I've told that Mormons, its lead to some pleasant conversations, with no pressures to convert or any such thing, but in my experience most Mormons are much more educated or at least rather well travelled. There are ignoramusses in ALL religions, and when one of those won't take my polite refusal and push the issue, I just call upon my experiences as a suffere of Manic-Depression and fake a psychotic break. This usually invovles talking to my hand, having my hand reply, introducing them to my pet talking beaver (a hand puppet) climbing any available surface, swinging from the top of the door jamb all while having a "normal" conversation with them, babbling and singing lots of nonsense or letting out a litany of the most vile an offensive things I can think in a cute cartoon character voice, or dancing around maniacly to tunes only my head. They always leave quickly, usually VERY offended and NEVER come back again.


But most em are good enough sorts and don't need to be asked or told twice.
Doomingsland
05-07-2005, 18:23
Try calling them heretics, I've found that one to work quite nicely (and yes, I am a Catholic). That, or get an attack dog.
[NS]Ihatevacations
05-07-2005, 18:23
Or in response to 'Have you found Jesus?"

Disappointed response; "Only the one piece." :(
or you could do something like "I havn't managed to find the third clue yet, could you help me?"
Gmail
05-07-2005, 18:23
I think they say 144,000 get into heaven, but after there got to be a bunch more they said the rest will live on a re-crerated earth. Or something like that. It's been a little while.
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 18:23
Here's an interesting one to try out:

They almost always come in pairs, one a neophyte, the other their control. Try engaging the quiet one - who is always the control - and ask them, if it said in the Bible that it is God's will that a certain number of babies should be sacrificed to Jehovah - mind you, not whether it actually says that, but if it said that - would it be morally and ethically correct to murder newborns in Jehovah's name? Remember not to appear confrontational, or anything other than patient, inquisitive, and gracious.

Keep an eye on the facial expressions of the neophyte as his/her control gravely confirms that it would indeed be morally and ethically correct would that were the will of Jehovah. Disbelief, shock, and a nascent inner resolve to disentangle themselves from these oddballs.

Fun times.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 18:24
:eek: Egad! 144,000 religious nuts?!? WHo the hell would want to end up with them??? :p

Between the Jehovah's Witnesses and the suicide bombers with their 144 virgins it sounds like heaven is going to be pretty full of annoying people (well, I might be able to put up with the virgins for a while). Hell is sounding better and better by the day.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:24
I try being polite to JWs and (especially) Mormons. Most will leave me alone when I tell them I'm a Bahai. When I've told that Mormons, its lead to some pleasant conversations, with no pressures to convert or any such thing, but in my experience most Mormons are much more educated or at least rather well travelled. There are ignoramusses in ALL religions, and when one of those won't take my polite refusal and push the issue, I just call upon my experiences as a suffere of Manic-Depression and fake a psychotic break. This usually invovles talking to my hand, having my hand reply, introducing them to my pet talking beaver (a hand puppet) climbing any available surface, swinging from the top of the door jamb all while having a "normal" conversation with them, babbling and singing lots of nonsense or letting out a litany of the most vile an offensive things I can think in a cute cartoon character voice, or dancing around maniacly to tunes only my head. They always leave quickly, usually VERY offended and NEVER come back again.


But most em are good enough sorts and don't need to be asked or told twice.


I would add that since most of the time, if there are strangers at the door, I answer the door with pistol in hand, they usually find a reason to leave even though I'm really nice.
Carnivorous Lickers
05-07-2005, 18:25
That doesn't necessarily mean that they beleive the rest are going to hell.


Well-I'm pretty sure about twelve years ago at this time I was going to hell. And I probably wasnt going to have to wait in line.

Now, I'm pretty sure I'm not going there.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 18:28
I would add that since most of the time, if there are strangers at the door, I answer the door with pistol in hand, they usually find a reason to leave even though I'm really nice.

And people here think you're a nutter. What would give them that idea?
Einhauser
05-07-2005, 18:28
Ahem. Actually, we do not belive we go to hell. We belive that after this system (the Earth, pretty much) ends after all the 144,000 die and go to heaven, Jehovah will bring about 1,000 years of total and complete paradise. After that thousand years, Satan will rise up again and create a new nation. Anyone who wants to go join that nation is free to do so. Except that they will be destroyed forever if they do. After that nation is put down, Satan will no longer exist, and eternal bliss follows.

You may be laughing now, but that 1,000 years is closing fast. There are only around 8,000 of those chosen 144,000 left, and Jehovah does not really have to wait for them to die to bring about the "new world."

As for the rest of us, i.e. not members of the chosen. We will not go to heaven, that is true, but that doesnt mean we are screwed. In fact, im rather happier than I think I would be if i was going. You see, they have to leave their loved ones to become the kings of the universe (next to god and Jesus, of course), not that there is anything wrong with that. Its just that here on earth you can do any of the moral fantasies you have.

Hope that cleared up a few things.
Swagh
05-07-2005, 18:29
actually I have a better idea when i was younger my mom would politely turn them away and say she was religious already. One day after them coming almost everyday, inspiration hit I went outside called the whole group of them together and said.....wow your teachings are amazing, but my mother is a proud and desperate person who will not admit her love of god while I am around. So I will leave the house for several hours. could you please stop by them in fact bring your friends..say thursday. she is lonely and loves company, she will say she is religious but do not take no for an answer, in fact stick your foot in the door if you have too. they readily agreed to come back when I wasn't there. So thursday rolls around and I come back from work and my mom is there red faced furious and almost screaming. As she explained what had happend (she never swears) THOSE GOD DAMN BASTARDS!!! THEY CAME HERE AGAIN 7 OF THEM. I TRIED TO BE POLITE BUT THEY STARTED SHOVING SHIT THROUGH THE DOOR AND TELLING ME TO STOP RESISTING, GOD DAMMIT, ONE ASSHOLE ACTUALLY PUT HIS FOOT IN THE DOOR! AND I THREATENED THEM WITH THE DOGS for 10 minutes AND THEY STILL DIDNT GO AWAY IM SOOO...at this point I was laughing so hard that I couldnt stand straight, my mother realized I had set her up. and started punching me in the arm she was so mad, but I couldn't move i was laughing to hard to do anything. Felt a little bad for setting up both parties but...best part my moms a mormon

love this story
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 18:30
Ahem. Actually, we do not belive we go to hell. We belive that after this system (the Earth, pretty much) ends after all the 144,000 die and go to heaven, Jehovah will bring about 1,000 years of total and complete paradise. After that thousand years, Satan will rise up again and create a new nation. Anyone who wants to go join that nation is free to do so. Except that they will be destroyed forever if they do. After that nation is put down, Satan will no longer exist, and eternal bliss follows.

You may be laughing now, but that 1,000 years is closing fast. There are only around 8,000 of those chosen 144,000 left, and Jehovah does not really have to wait for them to die to bring about the "new world."

As for the rest of us, i.e. not members of the chosen. We will not go to heaven, that is true, but that doesnt mean we are screwed. In fact, im rather happier than I think I would be if i was going. You see, they have to leave their loved ones to become the kings of the universe (next to god and Jesus, of course), not that there is anything wrong with that. Its just that here on earth you can do any of the moral fantasies you have.

Hope that cleared up a few things.

What I want to know is how L Ron Hubbard had time to make up 2 religions?
Laerod
05-07-2005, 18:31
As for the rest of us, i.e. not members of the chosen. We will not go to heaven, that is true, but that doesnt mean we are screwed. In fact, im rather happier than I think I would be if i was going. You see, they have to leave their loved ones to become the kings of the universe (next to god and Jesus, of course), not that there is anything wrong with that. Its just that here on earth you can do any of the moral fantasies you have.

Hope that cleared up a few things.
Not really... what exactly happens to the good people that don't go?
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 18:33
They die. And they don't go to Heaven. They just cease being.
Laerod
05-07-2005, 18:34
They die. And they don't go to Heaven. They just cease being.
That sounds pretty darn atheist...
Drunk commies deleted
05-07-2005, 18:35
Well-I'm pretty sure about twelve years ago at this time I was going to hell. And I probably wasnt going to have to wait in line.

Now, I'm pretty sure I'm not going there.
I'm pretty sure I'm not going there either, but probably for totally different reasons.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:36
And people here think you're a nutter. What would give them that idea?
Just because I'm holding a loaded pistol doesn't mean I'm going to shoot anyone. I have it because I'm insistent that strangers at my door remain as polite as I am.
Carnivorous Lickers
05-07-2005, 18:37
I'm pretty sure I'm not going there either, but probably for totally different reasons.


good. you've followed the golden rule all along,I guess?
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 18:37
Just because I'm holding a loaded pistol doesn't mean I'm going to shoot anyone. I have it because I'm insistent that strangers at my door remain as polite as I am.

Taking a loaded pistol to the door sounds more like paranoia than politeness.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:39
Taking a loaded pistol to the door sounds more like paranoia than politeness.

They have an official term for your thoughts on this subject: projection.

Don't you wear a seat belt while driving your car?
Carnivorous Lickers
05-07-2005, 18:40
Just because I'm holding a loaded pistol doesn't mean I'm going to shoot anyone. I have it because I'm insistent that strangers at my door remain as polite as I am.


yeah- no one illicits "please" and "thank you" as much as MrSmith & MrWesson.

besides-some people just accesorize with a pistol.
Einhauser
05-07-2005, 18:40
They die. And they don't go to Heaven. They just cease being.

Hey, woa, thats not true at all. The people that dont go to heaven are left on earth. But its not this earth, its a transformed earth. An earth where everything is a paradise. Sorry if I didnt make that clear.
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 18:41
That sounds pretty darn atheist...


Yes, doesn't it though?

It's funny, most religions are set up to answer that one question: What happens when I die?

I knew an old Jehovah couple who used to some evry week to shop at the same grocery store I did. On one occasion, the woman came on her own. This was the first time she had done this in the two years I'd seen her coming and going. I asked her where her husband was, and she replied quite simply that he had died.

One of the store clerks, feeling sympathy for her loss, offered some words of condolence, something about 'being with God now', to which she replied that no, her husband was just dead - inert. Non-functional. Unliving. Decaying into the soil. Etc.

I could see she was still pretty devastated by her loss, but apparently her belief system provided no comfort for her. I felt like I was going to vomit.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 18:41
They have an official term for your thoughts on this subject: projection.

Don't you wear a seat belt while driving your car?

I don't have a car and I don't drive. I also don't fear my fellow man so much that I have to arm myself, let alone take a loaded pistol to the door.
Carnivorous Lickers
05-07-2005, 18:42
Hey, woa, thats not true at all. The people that dont go to heaven are left on earth. But its not this earth, its a transformed earth. An earth where everything is a paradise. Sorry if I didnt make that clear.


too many choices-I'm confused. I'll just stick with what I believe and no one will get hurt.
Naturality
05-07-2005, 18:43
One of my good friends is a Witness. She's absolutely polite and probably one of the nicest girls in the world.

Talking to her is better than talking to any religious southern zealot. At least she hasn't had the gusto to tell me I'm going to hell.

They may be persistent, but they're not assholes like most christians.


I disagree.. I had one(well few) tell me I have been wrong my entire life about my belief. And that me reading the bible alone, was a sin!

Seems you need others (Elders) telling you what the bible really means! If you are not guided by one of these "anointed Elders" then you are guided by the devil. :rolleyes:

Your personal relationship and prayer means shite.
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 18:44
Hey, woa, thats not true at all. The people that dont go to heaven are left on earth. But its not this earth, its a transformed earth. An earth where everything is a paradise. Sorry if I didnt make that clear.

What about the couple I describe in my last post? He was, from what I knew of him, and what his wife said, a nice man. A good man. A church-going man.

But apparently not good enough for Jehovah God.

What's the deal with that?
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:44
I don't have a car and I don't drive. I also don't fear my fellow man so much that I have to arm myself, let alone take a loaded pistol to the door.

Oh, to be sure, I am not afraid.

But the people from Greenpeace who are nearly as annoying as the JW's project what they would do with a gun onto me, and that usually causes them to sprint in all directions away from my house.
Laerod
05-07-2005, 18:45
They have an official term for your thoughts on this subject: projection.

Don't you wear a seat belt while driving your car?
Seat belts aren't as likely to get someone else killed as a loaded pistol is...

Just because I'm holding a loaded pistol doesn't mean I'm going to shoot anyone. I have it because I'm insistent that strangers at my door remain as polite as I am.That means you don't mind if they show up with a loaded pistol in their hand at your doorstep?
Einhauser
05-07-2005, 18:45
It does provide comfort, because unless her husband was chosen, she would be living with him for eternety pretty soon. While the actual comming of the second system (the 1,000 years of paradise mentioned earlier) is not on a known date, I figure, and this is purly speculation, that it will be in our lifetime or our children's lifetime. Besides, isnt a woman allowed to grieve for her husband? some people do it differently than others. Saying "he is with god now" to one of us, when he isnt, is almost an insult.
The Kraven Corporation
05-07-2005, 18:46
I got stopped by a Witness once on the street, they asked me to i belive in god and jesus, i said the only relgion is belive in is my relgion of heavy metal, and they replied "Music was made to be nearer the creator" and I replied with
"Not my music... Album, Serpents of the Light. Band, Deicide, Song, Track 2... Bastards of Christ" then walked away replacing my headphones on...

Another thing that annoys me is Indian Call centres, but i have the perfect remedy for them

"Hello... Can i speak to Mr Kenvitt please?" (they always get the name wrong)

"This is a Secure line... Can I please ask how have you gotten on to it?"

"No... Can I speak to Mr Kenvitt please?"

"No.... this is a Secure line... Can I please ask how you have gotten on to it?"

*hangs up*

hehehe, i have some other ones as well...

"International Rescue... Can you please State the nature of your Emergency"

"May i speak to Mr Kenvitt please?"

"This is International Rescue.... What is the Nature of the Emergency?... is it a Fire? Air crash? or other please state?"

*hangs up*

and my personal favourite that i have yet to try

"Hello is Mr Kenvitt there?"

"Im sitting at the bottom of my stairs naked.... will you be my freind?"

"Is Mr Kenvitt there?"

"I havn't spoken to anyone is over 3 weeks, your the first person to call.... will you be my friend? Im so lonley"
Ydragisil
05-07-2005, 18:46
Being Mormon, I've noticed that they're a tad jittery around us. Which, if you ask me, is just fine.
Vodka Bob
05-07-2005, 18:46
There is a good way to make bill collectors hastily hang up their phone. When they call, pretend that they called a phone sex hotline. It is disturbing, but I am sure it would work.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:47
That means you don't mind if they show up with a loaded pistol in their hand at your doorstep?

That's fine with me. It ensures politeness.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 18:48
Oh, to be sure, I am not afraid.

But the people from Greenpeace who are nearly as annoying as the JW's project what they would do with a gun onto me, and that usually causes them to sprint in all directions away from my house.

Huh? People are projecting onto you? In broad daylight?

You just prove yourself more nuts everyday. You would be funny if mental illness wasn't so sad.
Einhauser
05-07-2005, 18:48
I disagree.. I had one tell me I have been wrong my entire life about what I thought of my belief. And that me reading the bible alone, was a sin!

Seems you need others (Elders) telling you what the bible really means! If you are not guided by one of these anointed Elders then you are guided by the devil. :rolleyes:

Elders are not anointed. They are just picked by the people that run the religion for thier length of service and devotion. Being picked is a great honor.
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 18:50
It does provide comfort, because unless her husband was chosen, she would be living with him for eternety pretty soon. While the actual comming of the second system (the 1,000 years of paradise mentioned earlier) is not on a known date, I figure, and this is purly speculation, that it will be in our lifetime or our children's lifetime. Besides, isnt a woman allowed to grieve for her husband? some people do it differently than others. Saying "he is with god now" to one of us, when he isnt, is almost an insult.

Well, sorry if uninformed attempts to offer sympathy or support fall flat, but what could you honestly expect from a concerned non-subscriber?

She certainly didn't seem at all comforted by her programming.
Einhauser
05-07-2005, 18:51
Dude, if your wife of 80 years just passed away, would you not be upset, even if god himself was sitting on the couch next to you?
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:51
Huh? People are projecting onto you? In broad daylight?

You just prove yourself more nuts everyday. You would be funny if mental illness wasn't so sad.

In fact, your fear that I would do something "wrong" with a loaded pistol *is* projection.

And no, I'm not nuts. I can walk down the street in my town and see any number of people equally armed - and they are not police. Neither are they crazy.

If you take the women that I've trained to carry pistols into account, you could call us the "far less likely to be victim" group.
Antheridia
05-07-2005, 18:53
One of my good friends is a Witness. She's absolutely polite and probably one of the nicest girls in the world.

Talking to her is better than talking to any religious southern zealot. At least she hasn't had the gusto to tell me I'm going to hell.

They may be persistent, but they're not assholes like most christians.
Oh, such generalizations. Please, why don't you throw the one in there about MOST SOUTHERN CHRISTIANS being racist and wanting to kill everyone? You know, that sounds about right to me. Just the other day I saw a preacher from a local church trying to strangle a black child.

Oh wait, maybe you just generalize too much.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:54
Oh, such generalizations. Please, why don't you throw the one in there about MOST SOUTHERN CHRISTIANS being racist and wanting to kill everyone? You know, that sounds about right to me. Just the other day I saw a preacher from a local church trying to strangle a black child.

Oh wait, maybe you just generalize too much.

I've already tried to make some headway in that regard, but some people are too torqued up to listen to reason.
Maniaca
05-07-2005, 18:55
Hey, I wrote a song about mormon's and Jehovah's witneses that me and my band play. My Mom told off some of the JWs so they don't come around here anymore, but if they did, I've come up with the perfect plan for them. Using the hints I've found here, when they ask if I've found Jesus I'd say, "Yeah, let me get him, stay right here." I go through the side door and get the hose(or if it's not screwed in one of those enormous super soakers that you have to rest on a bipod to fire) and run around to the front, and soak them with water until they're off the property.
[NS]Ihatevacations
05-07-2005, 18:55
That's fine with me. It ensures politeness.
What you need to do is change your doorbell to the old west face off music, or get a doorbell with that tune if you don't have one. Then we can all have a shootoff and it will be great
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 18:56
Dude, if your wife of 80 years just passed away, would you not be upset, even if god himself was sitting on the couch next to you?

I think I would be upset, I know she was. I just can't wrap my head around a system that doesn't seem to offer much immediate consolation to surviving family members. Thousand-year Kingdoms are all fine and well to wax poetic over, but what about the very real, yet unaddressed sense of loss this woman felt?


And I'm not a dude, btw.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 18:56
In fact, your fear that I would do something "wrong" with a loaded pistol *is* projection.

And no, I'm not nuts. I can walk down the street in my town and see any number of people equally armed - and they are not police. Neither are they crazy.

If you take the women that I've trained to carry pistols into account, you could call us the "far less likely to be victim" group.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I forget how shit life in Iraq must be for you. It's a barbarous and uncivilised country and I can't expect you to live by the same rules as the civilised world. One day America will make Iraq a safe place to live and you won't need to carry a gun to protect yourself.
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 18:58
Yeah, I'm sorry. I forget how shit life in Iraq must be for you. It's a barbarous and uncivilised country and I can't expect you to live by the same rules as the civilised world. One day America will make Iraq a safe place to live and you won't need to carry a gun to protect yourself.

W-h-h-a-a-t?

Legs, are you telling people you live in Iraq, now?

Pffft.

I always suspected you were secretly My Gun Not Yours.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 18:58
Yeah, I'm sorry. I forget how shit life in Iraq must be for you. It's a barbarous and uncivilised country and I can't expect you to live by the same rules as the civilised world. One day America will make Iraq a safe place to live and you won't need to carry a gun to protect yourself.

I'm in Herndon, Virginia. If you're wondering, we have 65 percent less violent crime and 65 percent less murder than our neighboring county, Montgomery County, Maryland, where no one is allowed to carry a gun except the police.

The police up there are also much more likely to shoot an unarmed person, if the past 15 years is any indication.
Einhauser
05-07-2005, 18:59
Dude is just a general term I use to describe anyone instead of saying "man" or "jeez". No offense was meant there.

She can address that feeling by filling it with even deeper study of religion. It is never too late to get closer to Jehovah. Plus, after the thousand years, there will be an eternal paradise kingdom, after all the sinners got obliterated.
Einhauser
05-07-2005, 19:02
Hey, I have an idea dobbs. Go to that woman and ask her if she still feels empty about her loss. In fact, while your there, talk about the religion more. Technicly, im not a full member, as I havnt been baptised yet (In this religion, being baptised actually takes work)
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 19:03
I'm in Herndon, Virginia. If you're wondering, we have 65 percent less violent crime and 65 percent less murder than our neighboring county, Montgomery County, Maryland, where no one is allowed to carry a gun except the police.

The police up there are also much more likely to shoot an unarmed person, if the past 15 years is any indication.

Is that near Deadwood? Is it the 20th century there yet?
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 19:05
Is that near Deadwood? Is it the 20th century there yet?

It's in Northern Virginia, just outside of Washington D.C.

Of course, since you can't own a gun in Washington, D.C., the murder rate is much, much higher in D.C. than it is in Herndon.

Violent felons here know that it's not a safe place for them to work. So they go elsewhere, where the victims are guaranteed to be unarmed.

And if you're looking for the "gunfight at the OK Corral" you really should rent a DVD - it doesn't happen here on the streets. Once again, you're projecting what you would do if you had a pistol.
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 19:06
She can address that feeling by filling it with even deeper study of religion. It is never too late to get closer to Jehovah. Plus, after the thousand years, there will be an eternal paradise kingdom, after all the sinners got obliterated.

Damn cold comfort, there. It's all built on the supposition of being the only people in the Universe who really know what's on God's mind. That's what I'd call betting on a longshot. With odds of infinity-minus-one to one against.

Great payoff - if you have correctly guessed the inner workings of God's mind. Not a bet I'm willing to make using the artifice of organized worship as my playbook.
Naturality
05-07-2005, 19:06
Elders are not anointed. They are just picked by the people that run the religion for thier length of service and devotion. Being picked is a great honor.


I don't care what title to whom is given. Regardless if it's a catholic title, protestant title or any other. No one who is exhaulted in a religion has anything over my beliefs and personal relationship with God. I don't respect man because of a title. I respect someone based on their heart and fruits. That shit with the JW's showed me bad fruits. I did at least give them a chance. Even though my first instinct in my heart about them was that they were deceitful.

This hits home for me. I've experienced their shit face to face because of my brother getting into this crap. He came to My house telling me I was lost and in the grips of the devil after many years of him telling me (before he became a JW) that my faith in God was silly and God matters dick. But you know I can't really judge all JW's by him.. although he has slammed many things in my face... he has always been haughty and a follower his entire life.


Edit: My sister in laws son is an elder. My sister in law and brother have bible studies at their home with other JW's. So it isn't that I have only experienced my brothers attitude. They basically told me the same thing about reading the bible alone.. And my feeling that I have been guided by the holy spirit in my reading when I was close to the Lord, was a wash. After having my interest of JW sparked I searched their past and read up about them. It only reinforced my instinct and experiences of it being a cult and a bunch of crack jobs.
Sabbatis
05-07-2005, 19:09
Actually, in my experience, they tend to be quite chaste. Further, although I'm not overly fond of having them knock at my door either, it is a very small price to pay IMO to have the free exersize of religion protected as it is from a Constitutional perspective.

If you don't like it, ask them politely to leave and close the door and call the police if you have to.

I support our collective right to our religious beliefs. But I don't need to listen to them if I don't want to.

I've never had a problem - a polite "no thank you, I'm not interested" and closing the door has always worked.

If I ever catch someone's foot in my door, in the literal sense, I will eject them from my property. Whatever that takes.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 19:09
And what exactly is the murder rate for Herndon? Or North Virginia if the murder rates are not that localized?
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 19:09
Hey, I have an idea dobbs. Go to that woman and ask her if she still feels empty about her loss. In fact, while your there, talk about the religion more. Technicly, im not a full member, as I havnt been baptised yet (In this religion, being baptised actually takes work)

She's dead now, too. And though none of her fellow Jehovah's mourned her passing, her children (non JWs) did. No comfort for them, though.

Just what - an opportunity to study some old book?

Great. Way to address the needfulness of the fragile human spirit. Kudos to Jehovah God.
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 19:10
BTW, what's up with vilifying Catholics?
Einhauser
05-07-2005, 19:11
Obviously I cannot convince you dobbswood, so I suggest going to an Elder to complain. Anywho, as much as I would love to stay and debate my religion, I have other things to do.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 19:12
And what exactly is the murder rate for Herndon? Or North Virginia if the murder rates are not that localized?

You could start by reading this:
http://www.co.fairfax.va.us/gov/bos/chair/state_of_county_2004.htm

which is the county that Herndon is in.

"Fairfax County has long been one of the safest jurisdictions in the country. Our homicide rate in 2003 was the lowest of the 30 largest jurisdictions in the United States. Our overall crime rate was the lowest of the 50 largest jurisdictions. At the same time, we have one of the lowest police officer per capita ratios in the country."

The murder, rape, armed robbery, and aggravated assault (all Part I crimes) are 65 percent higher in Montgomery County, Maryland, and still rising - where you can't have a gun on you. And in the other suburban county, Prince George's County, the violent crime is still higher - once again, gun bans. And in DC, where you can't even own a gun, much less carry one, it's the murder capital of the US most years.
Einhauser
05-07-2005, 19:13
BTW, what's up with vilifying Catholics?

Catholics are a perverted type of christian. They modified their Bible until it suited their needs. They installed a pope, and cardinals, and promote killing. They are pretty much the opposite of us.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 19:14
So that makes your actions even less rational. If it is so safe, why do you feel the need to answer the door with a gun?
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 19:16
So that makes your actions even less rational. If it is so safe, why do you feel the need to answer the door with a gun?
That's why we're safer. Ever since the law was changed to liberalize the carry of firearms, our crime rates have been plummeting - despite the fact that we employ fewer police than neighboring jurisdictions.

I teach women who are victims of domestic violence how to shoot and carry concealed. So far, over the past two years, of the 104 women who have completed the training, not a single one has been stalked or assaulted, or died as a result of an encounter with their ex. Nor have they shot anyone.

But women in our area who have not bothered to arm themselves continue to be abused - even when they leave their partner.

So far, the women have a perfect record. Better than you could do, that's for sure.
Hadesofunderworld
05-07-2005, 19:20
I know what you can do.

I saw it somewhere on the Net

get a Doorknocker that is attached to a small doormounted statue's crotch and looks like a pair of Testicles
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 19:22
You failed to address my point. If it is so safe, why do you feel the need to answer the door with a gun?
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 19:27
You failed to address my point. If it is so safe, why do you feel the need to answer the door with a gun?

It is safer where I live precisely because we have guns and carry them. That's why I answer the door with a gun. That's why I carry one all the time.

Many people in our area do the same.

You've got to ask youself, as I did, "Is your life worth protecting?" If so, whose responsibility is it to protect it? If you believe that it is the police's, not only are you wrong -- since the courts universally rule that they have no legal obligation to do so -- but you face some difficult moral quandaries. How can you rightfully ask another human being to risk his life to protect yours, when you will assume no responsibility yourself? Because that is his job and we pay him to do it? Because your life is of incalculable value, but his is only worth the $30,000 salary we pay him? If you believe it reprehensible to possess the means and will to use lethal force to repel a criminal assault, how can you call upon another to do so for you?

Do you believe that you are forbidden to protect yourself because the police are better qualified to protect you, because they know what they are doing but you're a rank amateur? Put aside that this is equivalent to believing that only concert pianists may play the piano and only professional athletes may play sports. What exactly are these special qualities possessed only by the police and beyond the rest of us mere mortals?

One who values his life and takes seriously his responsibilities to his family and community will possess and cultivate the means of fighting back, and will retaliate when threatened with death or grievous injury to himself or a loved one. He will never be content to rely solely on others for his safety, or to think he has done all that is possible by being aware of his surroundings and taking measures of avoidance. Let's not mince words: He will be armed, will be trained in the use of his weapon, and will defend himself when faced with lethal violence.

I'm taking responsibility - that's why.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 19:33
Sorry, you still didn't address my point. If it is so safe, why do you feel the need to answer the door with a gun?
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 19:40
Sorry, you still didn't address my point. If it is so safe, why do you feel the need to answer the door with a gun?

And I did answer you. The concept of self-defense is so foreign and unappealing to you that you can't understand it.

I am safe, and my area is safer, because I and others have participated in the enactment of laws that foster the carrying of concealed and openly carried firearms by law abiding citizens - who daily exercise that act - an act that has not escaped the eyes of would-be felons.

By participating in these acts, by carrying the pistol, I am not only providing insurance in the event that an attack actually takes place, but I am also providing an example for the community.

It does have a deterrent effect. I have had strangers leave in a hurry. I can't read their minds, but one can't help but think that someone casing the house would be put off by the presence of one or more armed people in the house.

I've also successfully prevented myself from being robbed three times - without firing a shot, without calling police, without any further ado.

Want to know why our crime is down? Because we're making it go down.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 19:42
So you live in a place where women regularly get beat up and people have attempted to rob you 3 times?
[NS]Ihatevacations
05-07-2005, 19:45
You could start by reading this:
http://www.co.fairfax.va.us/gov/bos/chair/state_of_county_2004.htm

which is the county that Herndon is in.

"Fairfax County has long been one of the safest jurisdictions in the country. Our homicide rate in 2003 was the lowest of the 30 largest jurisdictions in the United States. Our overall crime rate was the lowest of the 50 largest jurisdictions. At the same time, we have one of the lowest police officer per capita ratios in the country."

The murder, rape, armed robbery, and aggravated assault (all Part I crimes) are 65 percent higher in Montgomery County, Maryland, and still rising - where you can't have a gun on you. And in the other suburban county, Prince George's County, the violent crime is still higher - once again, gun bans. And in DC, where you can't even own a gun, much less carry one, it's the murder capital of the US most years.

1) Then how does that prove anything about gun control? Can you say fluke?
2) And as much as we would all like to discuss the want of Whispering Leg's to be able to shoot some one, that is not the topic of this thread. Move along, nothing to see here.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v206/Reaper2k3/officer_barbrady.jpg
Naturality
05-07-2005, 19:48
Is WL's posts going to actually change your opinion? NO!

Nothing he says is gonna be satisfactory to you, unless he bows out.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 19:51
Is WL's posts going to actually change your opinion? NO!

Nothing he says is gonna be satisfactory to you, unless he bows out.

He could if he answered my question. I'm not anti-gun. I was a marksman in the cadets and I used to go hunting in my youth. I just want to know why someone would take a gun when they answer the door in a place they assure me is one of the safest places in the country.
Household Cats
05-07-2005, 19:56
He could if he answered my question. I'm not anti-gun. I was a marksman in the cadets and I used to go hunting in my youth. I just want to know why someone would take a gun when they answer the door in a place they assure me is one of the safest places in the country.

He's answered your question. You just don't agree with it, which is your right. Just because you don't think it's a good reason, doesn't mean he doesn't feel it's a good reason.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 19:57
So you live in a place where women regularly get beat up and people have attempted to rob you 3 times?

Women suffer domestic abuse in every country. Regardless of income levels and other factors.

And attempted robbery is prefereable to successful robbery.

There are easier places to rob, and they know it now. People in Montgomery County might as well have painted signs on their houses and worn emblems on their clothing saying, "Rob me, rape me, kill me - I won't fight back".

And it's not a fluke, no matter how much Ihatevacations wishes it.

You couldn't find two more demographically matched counties than Fairfax and Montgomery County - except that the one with gun restrictions has 65 percent more violent crime and murder.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 19:59
He's given reasons for allowing concealed carrying of weapons and I haven't disagreed with a single thing he has said. But he has still failed to answer my main question. Why would any law abiding citizen, in there own home, feel the need to answer the door with a gun, particularly if they live in one of the safest areas of the country?
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 20:01
He's given reasons for allowing concealed carrying of weapons and I haven't disagreed with a single thing he has said. But he has still failed to answer my main question. Why would any law abiding citizen, in there own home, feel the need to answer the door with a gun, particularly if they live in one of the safest areas of the country?

Ok, let's try the more obvious one.

I've taught 104 women how to defend themselves. Effectively and completely. To the point where the men who stalked and abused them are now terrified to run into them.

They're angry. At me. And have said so. I don't know all their faces and names.

They know I'm armed, too. But they may feel the need to see if it's really so. Call it an insurance policy.
Greater Yubari
05-07-2005, 20:02
I find them entertaining at times, but usually annoying. In fact, I see them as fascists of one of the worst kinds. Just think over it for a second. If you don't have the membership of the party, you're toast (aka, if you don't follow their interpretation of Christianity, you'll face eternal death). Now... if that's not like Stalin's little rampage or Adolf's insanity... I don't know what else it is. You're not a member of the party, face the firing squad. Heil Jehova. Next thing we see are goosestepping angels. Who knows, their god could be a small man with a moustache...

What also pisses me off is their complete arrogance by basically claiming to be the only true religion (and if you claim that only your members will face eternal life, well, says enough I think). Now that smells a lot like those insane idiots who blow themselves up in Iraq or at bus stations in Israel.

The only true religion... oh please, any religion that claims that just shows that it's wrong, a lie and only there to get power and nothing else.

144,000 or so will go to heaven? Mhmm... sure... Some 8,000 places are still left? How'd they know? Someone selling tickets or what? Or is it just another "mystic" and "secret" pile of horsecrap? Most likely.

Also... Imagine this "paradise". I had a look at one of their propaganda flyers once. Boring as hell. Sunshine every day, you can even cuddle with tigers... WTF! And then you're locked up with 144,000 nuts. Great. Not to mention that the people I care about won't be there. BORING! What'd you do the whole day? And heck, if I can't kick someone's ass... what kind of paradise is that??

There's a friend of mine. He has a penfriend in Tokyo. She's a nice girl and I doubt she has ever done anything bad or ever will do anything along that line. Now, he asked the JWs one day when they bugged him a bit, "Now that would mean that this friend of mine would be 'destroyed' just because she doesn't have the 'partybook' of your 'god'. You know, I'd rather face eternal death with her, than eternal life with religious nazis like you." I agree with his POV.

'Sides... if everything goes well after I'm dead I'll just throw Satan out and take over anyway. He's a panzy.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 20:05
Ok, let's try the more obvious one.

I've taught 104 women how to defend themselves. Effectively and completely. To the point where the men who stalked and abused them are now terrified to run into them.

They're angry. At me. And have said so. I don't know all their faces and names.

They know I'm armed, too. But they may feel the need to see if it's really so. Call it an insurance policy.

Thankyou. You have finally answered the question.
Zum Deikum
05-07-2005, 20:11
How did this go from a discussion about JW to a discussion about answering the door with a gun?
[NS]Ihatevacations
05-07-2005, 20:12
I posted a pick of Barbrady with "Move along, nothing to see here." What else do I have to do?
Jefferi
05-07-2005, 20:13
all religion is for those who are to weak to have faith in themselves
Aust
05-07-2005, 20:14
I dunno, I've only just logged back on.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 20:24
Ihatevacations']I posted a pick of Barbrady with "Move along, nothing to see here." What else do I have to do?

Krad and I are done - back to your originally scheduled topic
Japhthor
05-07-2005, 20:33
Krad and I are done - back to your originally scheduled topic

You, sir, are far more patient and polite than I would ever be with such antagonistic arrogance. My respect for you grows with each post you make.

Just thought I'd throw that in.

Re: JW's. Everybody has different beliefs. Don't panic, man. Just relax, be polite, and deal with it. No need to get all offended... unless you feel that their beliefs are somehow too amazing to resist, and that you would become One Of Them...

If not, relax already.
Vetalia
05-07-2005, 20:36
Re: JW's. Everybody has different beliefs. Don't panic, man. Just relax, be polite, and deal with it. No need to get all offended... unless you feel that their beliefs are somehow too amazing to resist, and that you would become One Of Them...

I like debating them. It helps to have a Bible handy and to know your faith., and to have experience in apologetics. I did the same thing to Fred Phelps' hate-mongers...too bad I didn't revord it. (They are infamous for taking biblical passages, or parts of them 100% out of context and using it to justify their hatred).
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 20:37
You, sir, are far more patient and polite than I would ever be with such antagonistic arrogance. My respect for you grows with each post you make.


I think that what irritates people about JW's is that they are actually "intruding" on your personal space - standing too close, talking about too private a subject - faith.

On the Internet, we're not in the same room, and have no signals to let us know when we've crossed some line - so we all come off like nutters or arrogant antagonists - but we know we're not in the same room, so it's largely OK.

We certainly wouldn't talk like that face to face, not without considerable changes to our statements.

JW's seem to have lost sight of certain rules of human behavior.
Vetalia
05-07-2005, 20:44
We certainly wouldn't talk like that face to face, not without considerable changes to our statements.

JW's seem to have lost sight of certain rules of human behavior.

They do. Compared to the Mormons (all of whom have been polite and listening, I might add), they are rude and intrusive, and often try to prevent you from rebutting their statements.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 20:49
You, sir, are far more patient and polite than I would ever be with such antagonistic arrogance. My respect for you grows with each post you make.

Just thought I'd throw that in.

Re: JW's. Everybody has different beliefs. Don't panic, man. Just relax, be polite, and deal with it. No need to get all offended... unless you feel that their beliefs are somehow too amazing to resist, and that you would become One Of Them...

If not, relax already.

Shit, don't I get any points for getting him to answer the question?

Maybe you should read the 2nd part of your post and then re-read the first part of your post?
Morteee
05-07-2005, 20:56
You, sir, are far more patient and polite than I would ever be with such antagonistic arrogance. My respect for you grows with each post you make.




agreed - WL is a bit of a star and a true gent tbh

and thats from someone who totally disagrees with his opinions about guns and carrying guns - just cos I disagree with him doesnt make me right, him wrong or vice versa it just means we disagree :)


*member of the WL appreciation club;) *
Japhthor
05-07-2005, 20:57
Shit, don't I get any points for getting him to answer the question?

Maybe you should read the 2nd part of your post and then re-read the first part of your post?

You get no points for rudely haranguing the guy off-topic. I'd have ignored you as a troll.

He gets points for calmly and politely responding to each of your pointless attacks.

As I said before, he responded far better than I would. Dude said he'd answer the door gun-in-hand. You freak. Okay, cool, relax, don't freak out. Just like I said before.
Whispering Legs
05-07-2005, 20:57
Shit, don't I get any points for getting him to answer the question?

Maybe you should read the 2nd part of your post and then re-read the first part of your post?

Yes, you get points. But I didn't know anyone was keeping score.
Yupaenu
05-07-2005, 20:58
heheh, after i read this thread i almost wished there was jehovah's witnesses around here so i could utilize some of your methods of anoying them.
Carnivorous Lickers
05-07-2005, 21:03
On the Internet, we're not in the same room, and have no signals to let us know when we've crossed some line - so we all come off like nutters or arrogant antagonists - but we know we're not in the same room, so it's largely OK.


Speak for yourself-I'm always perfectly fucking calm, sincere and reasonable, damnit !!!!!!
Ancient Valyria
05-07-2005, 21:04
Women suffer domestic abuse in every country.
So do men. People tend to forget this.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 21:06
You get no points for rudely haranguing the guy off-topic. I'd have ignored you as a troll.

He gets points for calmly and politely responding to each of your pointless attacks.

As I said before, he responded far better than I would. Dude said he'd answer the door gun-in-hand. You freak. Okay, cool, relax, don't freak out. Just like I said before.

Pointless attacks? I only wanted the answer to one question. I didn't freak, you seem to be the one freaking over this.

I've clashed with Whispering Legs a number of times, we have opposite views on some subjects, but we've been known to agree on others. He's one of the better people to spar with on this site, I think he'd be a great guy to have a drink with. It's very boring to only talk with people you agree with all the time.
Carnivorous Lickers
05-07-2005, 21:09
I think that what irritates people about JW's is that they are actually "intruding" on your personal space - standing too close, talking about too private a subject - faith.



I think thats why they always come with either two or more people and they try to overwhelm people with the calm tones. Their eyes tell a different story though. I always look into people's eyes for the real intent and I see people desperate enough to go door to door peddling their "faith".

I'd respect them more if they held some type of rally or festival and just invited people to it-the ones that showed interest could go and be washed up in their spell. Leave the rest of us alone. I think of how many weak people trying to be polite take these people into their homes and waste time when they cant comfortably get rid of them.
Kradlumania
05-07-2005, 21:17
How many people do they actually convert by doorstepping?
Revionia
05-07-2005, 21:31
all religion is for those who are to weak to have faith in themselves

Not really...religons like Hinduism, Shintoism and I think one more have no gods.


On the other hand:
You all have it wrong sillies! There is no "afterlife" and "heaven" and you don't cease to exist either! People tend to forget, even athiests that we are material beings. We do not "cease to exist", our matter gets broken down and recycled into the ecosystem! We still exist in that sense....maybe as crop fertilizer or something...but thats all we are: matter.
Allech-Atreus
05-07-2005, 21:50
Not really...religons like Hinduism, Shintoism and I think one more have no gods.


On the other hand:
You all have it wrong sillies! There is no "afterlife" and "heaven" and you don't cease to exist either! People tend to forget, even athiests that we are material beings. We do not "cease to exist", our matter gets broken down and recycled into the ecosystem! We still exist in that sense....maybe as crop fertilizer or something...but thats all we are: matter.

Correction: Hinduism has hundreds of gods, Shintoism is based around ancestor and spirit worship, and if you are talking about Buddhism (which I think you may be) there are some forms and sects which have gods.

I've always considered myself a religious scholar, and tried to be good and unbiased in my pursuit of knowledge of the theological variety.

So, I'd like to answer two points here: viligying Catholics and the JW issue.

First off, Catholics are not bad people. Today, the main arguement aginst them is the stuff that the church did years ago- granted, the Vatican isn't the most understanding and flexible place around, but it's better than it was. As to the bible issue, every major Christian sect has done the same thing- hell, Thomas Jefferson even clipped parts out of the bible to 'make it better. Catholics are no worse than any other sect of Christian, for the most part.

Second, Jehovah's Witnesses. I have no problem with their religion existing, truly I don't. However, I will cite an example form my life. There is a JW family that lives in our neighborhood, and we cannot stand them. I take that back, most of them. The mother is a nice, succesful woman, but thae father is a mean spirited, self-important man. The son is strange, and their daughter (my sister's friend) is poorly adjusted. She spouts off about her religion, and when people don't want to hang out with her (for whatever reason) she claims religious persecution.
She will call our house at all hours, and once she showed up, on foot, at 10 at night. Her family is devoutly JW, but I am not impressed at all.

I respect all you JWs out there, truly I do. I find JW to be an interesting religion, but all the same as crazy as Scientology. '
Botswombata
05-07-2005, 21:56
You know In my experience the bible beating door to door babtists are much worse. I was told by one of those irritating jerks once that I was going to hell in a handcart for being a Catholic. That I worshiped false idols & that all Catholics were corrupt. This was after entering my yard uninvited & handing pamplets to my children that were comics entitled oops I Goofed. With nice pictures of children burning in hell for their sins. Kind of like chutes & ladders on acid.
After that I proceeded to tell him that I was really a recovered Catholic & was trying to be nice & not offend but since you intruded on my proprerty my Pagan ass whould have no problems performing a rutual sacrifice on his ass if he ever came near my children again without my express permission.
Don't mess with a mans 3 F's
Family
Female
Food
Defuniak
05-07-2005, 22:29
Oh, such generalizations. Please, why don't you throw the one in there about MOST SOUTHERN CHRISTIANS being racist and wanting to kill everyone? You know, that sounds about right to me. Just the other day I saw a preacher from a local church trying to strangle a black child.

Oh wait, maybe you just generalize too much.

it's not all southern christians. it's mostly baptists, who are usually racist and poorly educated.
Defuniak
05-07-2005, 22:35
i know that because i live about 2 blocks down from a large baptist church. most of them have redneck accents and eccentric sermons.
Revionia
05-07-2005, 22:37
Correction: Hinduism has hundreds of gods, Shintoism is based around ancestor and spirit worship, and if you are talking about Buddhism (which I think you may be) there are some forms and sects which have gods.


But it does not hold that dual relationship like Islam and Christainity, the placement of the god above and the human below.
Latiatis
05-07-2005, 22:43
I've only ever actually had one JW come to my door. Then I calmly explained that I was quite devout in my religion and that I am not interested in hearing of their church's ideas.

It's the Mormons that get me. There's an LDS Church somehwere near my house and so I hear from them a lot.

You know In my experience the bible beating door to door babtists are much worse. I was told by one of those irritating jerks once that I was going to hell in a handcart for being a Catholic. That I worshiped false idols & that all Catholics were corrupt.
I got that from one once. Then we got into a nice long discussion where I accepted that there is some corruption and he accepted that it wasn't actually idol worship.

He still think it's wrong, but I feel I won.
Katganistan
06-07-2005, 01:08
Catholics are a perverted type of christian. They modified their Bible until it suited their needs. They installed a pope, and cardinals, and promote killing. They are pretty much the opposite of us.

Gee thanks. So much for Jehovah's Witnesses being tolerant, if you're our ambassador..
Allech-Atreus
06-07-2005, 02:14
But it does not hold that dual relationship like Islam and Christainity, the placement of the god above and the human below.

I think you're mistaken. In Hinduism, everything revolves around the trinity, Shiva, Brahma, and Vishnu. Shiva creates and destroys everything, spinning creation and all the people in it. Humans have nothing to do with anytihng, and are thus, below. Oftentimes, Hindu gods will also act similarly to the Western deity, such as when Vishnu spoke to Prince Arjuna, much like God talking to Moses.

Shintoism is less so, but places ancestors and spirits in higher regard than people. Japanese legend is filled with stories of vengeful ancestors who were not venerated, much like a Jewish god with no sacrifice.

In Buddhism, i'll concede that point. There really is no other religion like Buddhism.
Dragons Bay
06-07-2005, 02:17
Wha? Why don't you just shut the door on them? It is, after all, an intruion into your private property.
Vetalia
06-07-2005, 02:20
Gee thanks. So much for Jehovah's Witnesses being tolerant, if you're our ambassador..

Let him come back. I'll teach him a thing or two about "perversions of Christianity" and interpreting the Bible to fit his needs.
Avarhierrim
06-07-2005, 04:07
After that I proceeded to tell him that I was really a recovered Catholic & was trying to be nice & not offend but since you intruded on my proprerty my Pagan ass whould have no problems performing a rutual sacrifice on his ass if he ever came near my children again without my express permission.
Don't mess with a mans 3 F's
Family
Female
Food

GO YOU! thankfully Australia doesn't have sects like Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses.
Celtlund
06-07-2005, 04:13
Takes half an hour to get rid of them, only after getting into a shouting conest about the existance of god...BASTARDS!

No it doesn't:
1. Never let them into the house.
2. Never step out the door to talk to them.
3. Slam the door in their face.
4. Open the door while cocking your shotgun.
5. Tell them you are a Buddhist.
The Nazz
06-07-2005, 04:22
GO YOU! thankfully Australia doesn't have sects like Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses.
Oh yes they do. Both religions are worldwide. (I used to be a JW--I've been in recovery for 10+ years now. :D )
Ravenshrike
06-07-2005, 04:28
Is that near Deadwood? Is it the 20th century there yet?
You know what's really, really funny about your comment? The streets of places like Dodge City were much much safer than modern-day NYC or Wash. DC.
Aryavartha
06-07-2005, 05:31
I think you're mistaken. In Hinduism, everything revolves around the trinity, Shiva, Brahma, and Vishnu. Shiva creates and destroys everything, spinning creation and all the people in it. Humans have nothing to do with anytihng, and are thus, below.

Hinduism is not a codified religion. It is a common name given to a collection of complementing and at times contradicting philosophies.

ISKCON-ites (the Hare Krishnas) and many such Vaishnava sects (the majority in Hindu belief system) believe in only one God - Vishnu and everything else as Demigods (including Shiva) who are just a manifestation of the Supreme personality called Vishnu.

Shaivites believe that Shiva is the only Supreme God and from Him came everything else, including Vishnu and other such demigods.

Another major school is Advaita which believes that all these Gods are just illusions / manifestations of one formless supreme spirit (Brahman).

And there are many such schools / philosophies which are often complemetary and contradictary at the same time and since nobody bothers to get into details, they are often declared to be under the umbrella of "hinduism".

Oftentimes, Hindu gods will also act similarly to the Western deity, such as when Vishnu spoke to Prince Arjuna, much like God talking to Moses.

But Arjuna could talk back and this made it a discourse.

In semitic scriptures, apparently God just dictated and the prophets took notes :p

That's a major difference between semitic and indic religions. Indic religions are not dogmatic and are very inclusive...hence you won't find Hindu born atheists bitching about Hindu evangelists, because there are none.
Laozedibe
06-07-2005, 05:41
if they ask if you have found jesus, just reply

"i wasn't aware he was lost"
Revasser
06-07-2005, 05:52
GO YOU! thankfully Australia doesn't have sects like Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses.

Absolutely, we do. I've had both come to my door and try to give me pamphlets and such. Heck, a few years back some Mormons came and gave me a video tape about Jesus. I recorded over it. Yay, free tape!

But a couple of my good friends are Mormons, and I've been to a few Mormon gatherings and such. Basically I was just interested in finding out more about it, since I find all religon to be fascinating. All the Mormons I've met, save one, have been really friendly and have not tried to 'push' anything on me. The one exception was a nutter and even the other Mormons agreed that she was a nutter.

But the Jehovah's Witnesses I've met have all been haughty, arrogant and rude. That's not to say that all JW's are that way, I would be shocked if they were, but those that I have met and have known they were JW's (as in, they announced themselves) have all been people I felt like setting fire to.
Gatren
06-07-2005, 06:00
Whenever Mormon's came to our house my mom used to yell "MORMON'S HIDE!!!" Then she used to whisper don't move, or they'll see you, and know your home.. Now this started when I was 5? and continued for some time. For quite a while I had no idea who or what a mormon was, only it was a very bad thing. (oddly enough I had some idea it had something to do with tax collection) I was terrefieid of mormons, and never heard of them come up on TV, at a friends house.. nowhere except mysteriously at the door.

I've matured a bit, I even have some mormon friends. But I'll never forget the terror my mom sowed into me of the 'mormons' the faceless wonders which caused so much chaos at my house.


As for dealing with them now a days I just pretend I'm fully intersted in whatever they are trying to convert me into. so far 100% of the time they say they will return tomorrow with all sorts of goodies for me. I then arrange a friend to answer the door and play dumb when they ask for me saying no one with that name lives here. (best one ever, my friend improved it and said I had died years ago and tried to pretend to cry. I was upstairs listening and almost gave myself away by laughing. She had to shut the door in their face because she was almsot grinning.)[I'm for realigous freedom, but my tolerance ends when someone tries to push that religion on me]
Allech-Atreus
06-07-2005, 15:02
Hinduism is not a codified religion. It is a common name given to a collection of complementing and at times contradicting philosophies.

ISKCON-ites (the Hare Krishnas) and many such Vaishnava sects (the majority in Hindu belief system) believe in only one God - Vishnu and everything else as Demigods (including Shiva) who are just a manifestation of the Supreme personality called Vishnu.

Shaivites believe that Shiva is the only Supreme God and from Him came everything else, including Vishnu and other such demigods.

Another major school is Advaita which believes that all these Gods are just illusions / manifestations of one formless supreme spirit (Brahman).

And there are many such schools / philosophies which are often complemetary and contradictary at the same time and since nobody bothers to get into details, they are often declared to be under the umbrella of "hinduism".



But Arjuna could talk back and this made it a discourse.

In semitic scriptures, apparently God just dictated and the prophets took notes :p

That's a major difference between semitic and indic religions. Indic religions are not dogmatic and are very inclusive...hence you won't find Hindu born atheists bitching about Hindu evangelists, because there are none.

*clap*

I am beaten, my good sir. I'll give you Hinduism, but I stand by Shinto and Buddhism.

but here's another nougat (maybe best for another thread, but who cares): couoldn't it be considered that (taking a trinity view) that, when people asked questions of Jesus, and he answered and gave them guidance, then this was not a discourse with god, being that Jesus was the son and manifestation of the lord?
Mercaenaria
06-07-2005, 15:23
I once answered the door with my claymore sword slung over my shoulder and I was breathing heavily and sweating from several minutes of practicing with it. I'm not lying, they haven't been back since. I saw them walking around the court one day, one of them said something to the other one, pointed at my house, and they looked over and kept on walking. I almost had to sit down I was laughing so hard.
Texpunditistan
06-07-2005, 17:27
I prefer answering the door in nothing but a towel, slung scandalously low and my kama sutra tattoo showing. Most never come back.

Once, when I lived in the country, I had just had a standoff with my current (at the time) girlfriend's ex-boyfriend (complete abusive nutjob). After threatening him with an unloaded shotgun, he left. 10 minutes later, I hear banging on the door. Still being pissed off, I yelled "THAT'S IT!!!", pumped the shotgun and swung the door open. It wasn't the ex...it was two Jehovah's Witnesses. Both went about the color of a sheet and instantly sprinted back to their Suburban.

No JWs ever came back to the house.
Dormit
06-07-2005, 17:38
I just pronounce Jesus' name "Jeebbus"

they leave after a while :D
Zweites
06-07-2005, 18:00
If they are true J.W. believers, they won't be able to refuse if you ask them for help in your yard. Ask them to help you trim the trees, wash the windows, and so on. They'll be more than happy because helping others is part of their core values. And quite strangely, they'll come less often afterwards...
O.K. here's my plan, I tell them I need help with my plans for world domination, then voilĂ ! I have my own private army of fanactical minions! :D
Aryavartha
06-07-2005, 19:50
*clap*

I am beaten, my good sir. I'll give you Hinduism, but I stand by Shinto and Buddhism.

but here's another nougat (maybe best for another thread, but who cares): couoldn't it be considered that (taking a trinity view) that, when people asked questions of Jesus, and he answered and gave them guidance, then this was not a discourse with god, being that Jesus was the son and manifestation of the lord?

Thank you. :)

Well technically, the Trinitarians can claim that.

But I am under the impression that Jesus became son of God at the council of Nicea and there are very few , if any, references to Jesus calling himself God or son of God before that. Also the fact that only a few Gospels were approved and rest were destroyed makes this "discourse" rather less authentic to me. I believe Jesus was an enlightened man whose teachings were distorted to suit the council's agenda. He is as much a son of God as we all are. I believe the same of Mohammed too. The Koran was also codified much later in the period of caliph Uthman and Uthman destroyed other "variant" manuscripts and instructed to "make up" missing parts in the Koran we have today.

The Gita, OTOH, is believed to have been preserved in its original form as it was deilvered to Arjuna in which Krishna unequivocally and unambiguously declares himself as the Supreme personality of Godhead and proceeds to reply to Arjuna questions about the nature of world, our soul, our contitutional position, our nature and our duty and what is the purpose of our life etc. Arjuna asks many doubts in between and Krishna clarifies that.

Definitely a discourse between man and God. :)

I think we are going too much OT. The thread is originally intended to bash them poor JWs. Can we carry over to a new thread where we can discuss purely the holy books and holy men and not what their followers do ?
Kiabash
07-07-2005, 00:11
Catholics are a perverted type of christian.
Wrong

They modified their Bible until it suited their needs
Wrong

and promote killing.
Annnnnnnnd, wrong.






They are pretty much the opposite of us.
if the above is your attitude, I certainly hope so.
Unblogged
07-07-2005, 00:13
If they are true J.W. believers, they won't be able to refuse if you ask them for help in your yard. Ask them to help you trim the trees, wash the windows, and so on. They'll be more than happy because helping others is part of their core values. And quite strangely, they'll come less often afterwards...
mm...
Avarhierrim
07-07-2005, 00:40
Absolutely, we do. I've had both come to my door and try to give me pamphlets and such.

Where are you??
Mt-Tau
07-07-2005, 00:56
Last time JH's came to my place, they caught me my door trying to lug in a case of 7.62 x 54r 's. Kinda pissed me off because they wouldn't let me by to put down the case. :mad:
Non Aligned States
07-07-2005, 01:00
Last time JH's came to my place, they caught me my door trying to lug in a case of 7.62 x 54r 's. Kinda pissed me off because they wouldn't let me by to put down the case. :mad:

If that is what I think it is, you could always say, "Can you help me test this? I haven't seen the effects of it on live targets. And I'm fresh out of targets."

Course that kind of action could possibly get you up on death threat charges depending on interpretation.
Mt-Tau
07-07-2005, 01:09
If that is what I think it is, you could always say, "Can you help me test this? I haven't seen the effects of it on live targets. And I'm fresh out of targets."

Course that kind of action could possibly get you up on death threat charges depending on interpretation.

LOL! Nah, if I was going to threaten something, they would have to do something serious. JW's for the most part get me laughing.

Speaking of which, a friend of mine bet me 20 buck that I wouldn't answer the door naked when they came around. :D
Sol-Rellia
07-07-2005, 01:57
I've never met a JW, but my mother used to tell me about how my grandfather (who was Catholic) would be happy when they came by, because he liked talking with them about the Bible. :)
DClaro
14-08-2005, 22:55
"Most Christians"? Thats a fairly stupid comment. I've never had a christian tell me I'm going to hell.
And if I'm not mistaken. JWs firmly believe that all but 144,000 souls will get into heaven-total. Even fellow JWs.
144,000 will go to heaven, and a another group of people (the rest of the faithful witness) will live on earth when it becomes a paradise.
Klacktoveetasteen
14-08-2005, 22:59
Do what I do. I'm a fundamentalist Christian, and I am not a Jehovah's Witness.

When they ask me if I've "found" Jesus, I say yes. When their eyes light up in anticipation, I then turn and yell upstairs, "Hey Jesus! Are you still here?"

Then I turn and explain that He's been living in my house for years, and that I didn't know He was lost.

You know, this is my opinion; why is it whenever they lose their messiah, they ask me if I've found him? I didn't lose him. Maybe they should look under the couch cushions... I lose stuff there all the time.
DClaro
14-08-2005, 23:14
I could see she was still pretty devastated by her loss, but apparently her belief system provided no comfort for her. I felt like I was going to vomit.
her 'belief system' shows that her husband will be resurrected
Myidealstate
14-08-2005, 23:26
They didn't bother me since '94 and I got no idea why :confused: .
My neighbors get visited frequently, but they seem to ignor me and I actually liked talking to them :( . I considered them kind of entertaining.