NationStates Jolt Archive


Comet hit by NASA! New course is on collision with Earth!

Marrakech II
04-07-2005, 09:47
It appears NASA did it. I figured they would but its a huge achievment. Odds are now we can probably hit the errant asteroid aimed for Earth. I read in the Weekly World News that the comet was now going to hit Earth because of this collision. Well it appears our days are numbered. So forget work and max out your credit cards.

http://www.cnn.com/TECH/space/
Potaria
04-07-2005, 09:50
It appears NASA did it. I figured they would but its a huge achievment. Odds are now we can probably hit the errant asteroid aimed for Earth. I read in the Weekly World News that the comet was now going to hit Earth because of this collision. Well it appears our days are numbered. So forget work and max out your credit cards.

http://www.cnn.com/TECH/space/

I don't know whether to laugh, or cry...
Dontgonearthere
04-07-2005, 09:51
And theres a massive conspiracy to keep everybody from knowing this, right?
Fan Grenwick
04-07-2005, 09:53
Oh yah! And the world is going to end at midnight on December 31st, 1999 too!
Laerod
04-07-2005, 09:56
The reason they picked that comet was because it was so darned far away from earth. I don't recall it heading anywhere near anything that could tell whether it was directed towards us any time soon.
Unblogged
04-07-2005, 09:56
Maybe I'm missing something, but the scientists were worried about their lenses getting sandblasted...not about a comet smashing into Earth...
Potaria
04-07-2005, 09:57
It's the Weekly World News, people. An entertainment tabloid that contains 100%-fictional material.
BLARGistania
04-07-2005, 09:57
And theres a massive conspiracy to keep everybody from knowing this, right?
two "TV repairmen" have been dispatched to your house to fix the problem with your "reception". Please wait right there until they arrive.
Potaria
04-07-2005, 09:58
two "TV repairmen" have been dispatched to your house to fix the problem with your "reception". Please wait right there until they arrive.

BLARG!

...I poked you earlier. I figured you'd show up sooner or later.
Sosato
04-07-2005, 09:59
Hehe that was the first thing I thought when I saw that on the news...
EEk
Laerod
04-07-2005, 10:01
It's the Weekly World News, people. An entertainment tabloid that contains 100%-fictional material.
I don't get that where I live, but then again, it didn't sound like a reliable newspaper...
Dontgonearthere
04-07-2005, 10:16
two "TV repairmen" have been dispatched to your house to fix the problem with your "reception". Please wait right there until they arrive.
I suppose I should tell them about the land mines...no...its more entertaining this way.
*BOOM!*
Thats one...and...oh dear...the dogs got the second guy. And now hes fallen into the moat, that would be the one full of zombie-alligators.
Lunatic Goofballs
04-07-2005, 11:25
Maybe if the comet comes close enough, a bunch of cult wackos will cut off their nads and poison themselves again. It makes for such entertaining news. :)
Poliwanacraca
04-07-2005, 11:27
It appears NASA did it. I figured they would but its a huge achievment. Odds are now we can probably hit the errant asteroid aimed for Earth. I read in the Weekly World News that the comet was now going to hit Earth because of this collision. Well it appears our days are numbered. So forget work and max out your credit cards.

http://www.cnn.com/TECH/space/

Don't worry. The aliens who've impregnated every female celebrity in America are going to band together with Bat Boy and Elvis to catch the asteroid in a thousand-mile-long fishing net made to specifications mentioned in an ancient scroll that appears to have been written by Jesus, which was found in King Tut's tomb. Or so I expect the Weekly World News to report in a day or two.

:D
Lunatic Goofballs
04-07-2005, 11:33
Bat Boy will save us!
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/images/wwn/208407/48683.jpg
Takuma
04-07-2005, 11:37
I read in the Weekly World News that the comet was now going to hit Earth because of this collision.
Impossible. The energy of a probe hitting a comet will not move it, let alone send it heading for Earth. I know physics.

Ok fine, so it's fake! But my point still stands... *sounds of trying to save dignity*
Chicken pi
04-07-2005, 11:39
I don't get that where I live, but then again, it didn't sound like a reliable newspaper...

A quick google image search proves it to be a journalistic gem.

http://images.google.co.uk/images?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-GB%3Aofficial_s&q=weekly+world+news&hl=en&btnG=Search+Images
Lunatic Goofballs
04-07-2005, 11:42
Actually, even the slightest difference in trajectory across cosmic distances can mean millions of miles. Perhaps it was just enough of a nudge that in three or four orbits around the sun(probably 300-500 years), it might strike the Earth instead of being a near-miss.

But it'll serve those serene futuristic bastards right. :p
Dontgonearthere
04-07-2005, 11:51
Actually, even the slightest difference in trajectory across cosmic distances can mean millions of miles. Perhaps it was just enough of a nudge that in three or four orbits around the sun(probably 300-500 years), it might strike the Earth instead of being a near-miss.

But it'll serve those serene futuristic bastards right. :p
I think that its more likely that Earth will be attacked by a Star Goat.
Takuma
04-07-2005, 11:52
Actually, even the slightest difference in trajectory across cosmic distances can mean millions of miles. Perhaps it was just enough of a nudge that in three or four orbits around the sun(probably 300-500 years), it might strike the Earth instead of being a near-miss.

But it'll serve those serene futuristic bastards right. :p
Ok, I didn't think of that... I meant in the near future. Once I'm dead it can hit earth all it wants! ^.^
Aeruillin
04-07-2005, 12:07
Looking at a drawing, the probe has in fact hit the comet in such a direction that it would have pushed the comet away from Earth's orbit - if the energy it had transferred were non-negligible, anyway.

So I took this thread seriously. Sue me, I see a lot of idiocy online, can't always be bothered to check if it was a joke. :p
Jellybean Development
04-07-2005, 17:51
Moving comets needn't be a thing to waste time or money on. When one comes I'm sure we've got a few nukes to spare. They should be sending probes into black holes to see whats on the the other side, I've heard the other side of a black hole is white hole, seriously.
Agolthia
04-07-2005, 23:38
Sending nukes at wouldnt do much, for one thing, nukes arent designed 2 work in space, and even if u did hit it, all u wld do would be 2 blast it into fragments which cld actually do even more damage than the orginal comet as they wld now be radioactive. Lastly, if a comet did hit us, there would be a very good chamce that the first time we knew about it was when it entered the atmosphere. Ahh well
Unblogged
04-07-2005, 23:39
Sending nukes at wouldnt do much, for one thing, nukes arent designed 2 work in space, and even if u did hit it, all u wld do would be 2 blast it into fragments which cld actually do even more damage than the orginal comet as they wld now be radioactive. Lastly, if a comet did hit us, there would be a very good chamce that the first time we knew about it was when it entered the atmosphere. Ahh well


You haven't seen that movie have you...
Vetalia
04-07-2005, 23:40
I think that its more likely that Earth will be attacked by a Star Goat.

Damn you, Capricornus!
Branin
04-07-2005, 23:45
Bat Boy will save us!
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/images/wwn/208407/48683.jpg
*shudders*
The Similized world
04-07-2005, 23:49
Call me ignorant, but why make a tabloid like that? I thought the whole point of them were you never really knew if they were fact or fiction....??
C_Spades
04-07-2005, 23:53
Call me ignorant, but why make a tabloid like that? I thought the whole point of them were you never really knew if they were fact or fiction....??

Hollywood does better photochops and costuming than they do. Of course it's fiction :P

Otherwise... get ready for the invasion
:sniper:
:gundge:
The Cat-Tribe
05-07-2005, 00:03
It appears NASA did it. I figured they would but its a huge achievment. Odds are now we can probably hit the errant asteroid aimed for Earth. I read in the Weekly World News that the comet was now going to hit Earth because of this collision. Well it appears our days are numbered. So forget work and max out your credit cards.

http://www.cnn.com/TECH/space/


It is really the fault of ...... MEXICO!!!!!!













(couldn't resist. :D )
Marrakech II
05-07-2005, 00:33
[QUOTE=The Cat-Tribe]It is really the fault of ...... MEXICO!!!!!!

The weight of the illegal Mexicans coming into the US has tilted the planet into an orbit with this new trajectory of the comet. So yes it is Mexico's fault. Again I read that too in Weekly World News. I suggest you all pick up a copy!
Marrakech II
05-07-2005, 00:35
Call me ignorant, but why make a tabloid like that? I thought the whole point of them were you never really knew if they were fact or fiction....??

Its really amazing that this tabloid stays in print. I have never seen anyone buy it. But could imagine who would. Couple things come to mind. Old cat women and people that call a trailor a home.
Dobbsworld
05-07-2005, 00:38
You're forgetting about all those people who buy it because it's so incredibly ludicrous. Like subscribing to the Onion, only the funniest part is knowing that somewhere out there, some throwbacks actually believe some of what they're seeing.
Pschycotic Pschycos
05-07-2005, 01:50
PACK YER BAGS, IT'S OFF TO MARGARITAVILLE!!!!! YEEHAWWW!!!!!! GIT-R'-DONE!!!

Looks like I'm off work for a loooooong time.

Whuzzat Boss? It's a complete load of BS? DAMNIT!!!

*sigh....* Back to work and another paycut...
Yupaenu
05-07-2005, 02:14
It appears NASA did it. I figured they would but its a huge achievment. Odds are now we can probably hit the errant asteroid aimed for Earth. I read in the Weekly World News that the comet was now going to hit Earth because of this collision. Well it appears our days are numbered. So forget work and max out your credit cards.

http://www.cnn.com/TECH/space/
hahahahahaha! do you know the size of that commet? it wasn't big enough to have done any damage. commets burn up easier than asteroids too. also, if anyone would manage to be hurt by the commet, it's good, we're overpopulating.
The Lightning Star
05-07-2005, 02:25
Bat Boy will save us!
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/images/wwn/208407/48683.jpg

To the Bat Boy Cave!
CthulhuFhtagn
05-07-2005, 03:03
Its really amazing that this tabloid stays in print. I have never seen anyone buy it. But could imagine who would. Couple things come to mind. Old cat women and people that call a trailor a home.
I buy it. It's funny.
Trexia
05-07-2005, 03:16
Impossible. The energy of a probe hitting a comet will not move it, let alone send it heading for Earth. I know physics.

Ok fine, so it's fake! But my point still stands... *sounds of trying to save dignity*

(sigh) It's much more fun to see ignorant nerds battle it out...
Gulf Republics
05-07-2005, 03:18
hahahahahaha! do you know the size of that commet? it wasn't big enough to have done any damage. commets burn up easier than asteroids too. also, if anyone would manage to be hurt by the commet, it's good, we're overpopulating.

The "comet" was the size aprox of manahatten, more then enough to do global damage. Also "comets" make up for their lack of stability in the entering the atmosphere with violent atmoshereic explosions and/or their speed tends to be much much faster then an average 'roid.

But yeah...a probe the size of a washing machine isnt going to nudge something that big out of its orbit, just as 'roid the size of a basketball doesnt knock earth out of orbit.

Anyways what really happened, was the probe was put into the path of the comet. A galactic road kill if you will.