NationStates Jolt Archive

I guess yesterday was Canada day or something. I vaguely remember someone mentioning it. Last night I bought some Molson tripleX to celebrate Canada day. I drank that, plus some vodka. Now I'm in my office working through a hangover. I blame Canada.

It was Canada day? But Google looked the same as always! :(

Help Me Scrape the Mucus Off My Brain

by WEEN

I guess it's something in my brain
I need whiskey to ease the pain
But it's early in the morning
And I'm feeling bad again

But if you ever loved me
You'll go easy on me now
Fix me up a cup of coffee
And in a while I'll come around

I think I spent the dog food money
But he'll love me just the same
And if you ever loved me baby
Help me scrape the mucus off my brain

It's a shame when morning hurts
I've seen bad and I've seen worse
It's the nature of my being
I took some money from your purse

And that Frenchman loves to party
But I know he's not to blame
But the way you're lookin' at me baby
I just can't help but feel ashamed

I think I spent the dog food money
But he'll love me just the same
And if you ever loved me baby
Help me scrape the mucus off my brain

It seems that everything's gone wrong since canada came along..... ;)

The amount of patriotism in this country is rediculous. If someone ever tried to invade us, 99% of the population would say "Here you go! We don't feel like fighting for it."

The amount of patriotism in this country is rediculous. If someone ever tried to invade us, 99% of the population would say "Here you go! We don't feel like fighting for it."
Patriotism and bravery do not always go hand-in-hand.

Mike (telling a joke): ...and the drunk guy says, "I can't help being an idiot, I'm Canadian!"
Crow (Laughs): You're right, they're so pathetic, Mike!

(Whistle blows, Tom comes in wearing Mountie uniform)

Tom: Enough! There's been too much Canada-bashing for far too long! I say: no more!
Mike: Don't you mean: "No more, eh"?
Crow (Laughs): Good one, man! They are SO stupid!
Tom: Stop it now! Instead, let us offer our Northern brothers and sisters this song of tribute!

(Music starts)

(Singing)
Oh, I wish I was back in old Canada,
A land which I never shall lampoon!
How I pine for the ice covering Lake Manitoba,
And the beauty that is Saskatoon!

Mike (spoken): I got one.

(Singing)
Oh, I wish I was stuck in the hills of Alberta,
Drinking beer with some big dumb guy trapping fur!

Tom (spoken): Hey!

Mike (singing):
As he scraped and chiseled all the moose dung off his boots,
I would learn that he's the Prime Minister!

Tom (spoken): Oh, stop that!

Crow (singing):
Oh, I wish I was in the land gave us Peter Jennings,
Alanis Morissette, Mike Myers, too!

Tom (spoken): Yeah!

Crow (singing):
No, I take that back, I wouldn't go there even if you paid me,
Oh, Canada, you are a place I must eschew!


Tom (spoken): Now, this is NOT in the spirit I intended!

Mike: Oh, come on, give in! I mean, after all, they gave us Ed the Sock and Rush!

Crow: Yeah, what are you defending? They're such feebs!
Tom: Okay, I'll try!
Mike: All right! Good man!
Tom (singing):
Oh, I wish I was blowing up Prince Edward Island,
And going on to bomb Ontario!
The destruction of Canada and all of its culture,
Is by far my fav-o-rite scenario!

Mike (spoken): Okay, that's a little strong...
Tom (interrupting, spoken): No, no, you were right, Mike, this is much more fun!

(Singing)

Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing a border
With countries far superior to it?

Crow (spoken): Yikes!

Tom (singing):
Why, you lousy, stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards,
Your country's just a giant piece of sh...(Mike leaps on Tom and covers his mouth with his hand, while he and Crow shout "Hey! Whoa! Whoa!")

Mike (spoken): I think that's enough. I think we've... Cambot, (Music stops) okay, thanks. All right.
Tom (sobbing): I'm sorry! I have no sense of proportion! I'm a disgrace to my uniform!
Mike: No, no, that's okay, calm down. Mustn't hate! Mustn't hate!
Crow: At least so overtly.
Mike: Exactly, right. Must disguise our hate, just a little. (Commercial sign light goes on) Okay, we'll be right back. (To Tom) It's okay, now, Dudley.
Tom (still sobbing): Pardonez moi! Pardonez moi!

________________

I like Canada... just not the drivers. XD

The amount of patriotism in this country is rediculous. If someone ever tried to invade us, 99% of the population would say "Here you go! We don't feel like fighting for it."
If anyone tried to invade us, we'd take them out and get them drunk, so when they wake up the next morning with a hang-over and blame us, they'd leave.

by what imaginary means would you use to "take them out" - or do you mean, take them out on a date?

by what imaginary means would you use to "take them out" - or do you mean, take them out on a date?
The later, yes, though sex afterwards is not a guarantee.

(We're not that easy.)

It seems that everything's gone wrong since canada came along..... ;)
That is very malicious, eh!

Mike (telling a joke): ...and the drunk ...-snip all teh way to-... Pardonez moi![/I]

You owe me 4 minutes of my life back! :p

It was Canada day? But Google looked the same as always! :(
Bam!

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-3/968097/canada_day05.gif
(on google.ca)

Bam!

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-3/968097/canada_day05.gif
(on google.ca)


Huzzah! I should've known, google.co.uk let me down big time.

If anyone tried to invade us, we'd take them out and get them drunk, so when they wake up the next morning with a hang-over and blame us, they'd leave.
Either that or retaliate by tricking you into drinking large quantities of Southern Comfort, the most nauseating liquor ever, and then force you to go to work the next day.

BTW, I was drinking Southern Comfort the first time I got arrested, and I usually refer to it as Sudden Discomfort for the nauseating effect it has on me.

The later, yes, though sex afterwards is not a guarantee.

(We're not that easy.)
It's not guaranteed, but it might happen, right?

Times have changed,
Our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents,
They just want to fart and curse. Should we blame the government, or blame society, or should we blame the images on tv No!
Blame Canada! Blame Canada

With all their beady little eyes,
their flapping heads so full of lies
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
We need to form a full assault, it's Canada's fault! Don't blame me, for my son Stan, He saw the darn cartoon, and now he's off to
join the klan!> And my boy eric once, had my picture on his shelf, but now when I see him, he tells me to fuck myself>

Well, Blame Canada!

It seems that everything's gone wrong since
Canada came along
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada! They're not even a real country anyway. My son could of been a doctor or a lawyer, it's a true, Instead he burned up like a piggie on a barbecue> Should we blame the matches? Should we blame the fire, or the doctor who allowed him to expire. Heck no!
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
With all their hockey hubaloo and that bitch Anne Murray too. Blame Canada!
Shame on Canada!

The smut we must stop
The trash we must smash
Laughter and fun
must all be undone
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming us!

The amount of patriotism in this country is rediculous. If someone ever tried to invade us, 99% of the population would say "Here you go! We don't feel like fighting for it."

Ya see, thats the dilema that Canada is in. The one thing that Canadians say is "We're not American" If we as Canadians jump up on soapboxes, "God save Canada, eh!" we start acting, rather un-Canadian.

However, with regards to our guts for a fight, might I point you to Yrpes, Holland, Cyprus and the 2002 Winter Olympics. (not the Gold medals, but the fact that the Ice maker put a Loonie at centre ice to show is pride and faith in the 2 hockey teams)

Also, before too long check out Google.ca (Google with a Maple Leaf)

How does a Canadian spell Canada?
C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?


Pardon me, I dont want to stay on this soap box too long......
Oh! by the way... with regards to your hangover... Guilty! muh ha ha ha ha phase one complete... World domination is now only 4.9 billion hangovers away!

I miss NHL hockey.

I guess yesterday was Canada day or something. I vaguely remember someone mentioning it. Last night I bought some Molson tripleX to celebrate Canada day. I drank that, plus some vodka. Now I'm in my office working through a hangover. I blame Canada.


Ohhh Molson TripleX is good. :D

Ohhh Molson TripleX is good. :D
Yeah, but when combined with a bunch of friends who don't need to work the next day and a 1.75 liter bottle of vodka it can cause very bad things.

O Canada, terre de nos aïeux
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux
Car ton corps sait porter l'épé-é-e
Il sait porter la croix
Ton histoire est une épopé-é-e
Des plus brillants exploits....

God keep our land
Glorious and freeeeeee
(...)

:D

BTW, I was drinking Southern Comfort the first time I got arrested, and I usually refer to it as Sudden Discomfort for the nauseating effect it has on me.

Story time.

Story time.
My first time getting arrested? Ok. Me and a couple of my buddies from high school were at a party in the woods. Nobody's parents were out of town and the weather was nice, so the woods seemed like as good a place as any. One guy brought a half gallon of southern comfort. I brought a few huge joints that I'd rolled.

After a couple of hours of drinking and smoking we got bored and decided to drive back to one guy's house to watch TV. We couldn't find the cap to the bottle of southern comfort, so we decided the guy in the back seat could just hold it steady so it wouldn't spill. I still had two huge joints left.

Apparently the guy in the back seat raised the bottle high enough so a passing police car could see it. Next thing you know we've been pulled over by five police cars at the entrance to the appartment complex where my one friend lived. The police arrested us all.

Driver was charged with underage drinking and having an open container of alcohol in his car. I was charged with marijuanna possesion. The guy who was holding the bottle of liquor was just sent home when his parents picked him up. Not charged with anything. Probably because he was crying like a little girl in the holding cell. As his mother was picking him up the cops decided to show her the marijuana. I overheard the cop saying "that's not a joint that's a torpedo. That'll get you to the third level of the outer limits." Weird talk for a cop, but I took it as a compliment.

Not a spectacular story, but that's my first time getting arrested.

O Canada, terre de nos aïeux
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux
Car ton corps sait porter l'épé-é-e
Il sait porter la croix
Ton histoire est une épopé-é-e
Des plus brillants exploits....

God keep our land
Glorious and freeeeeee
(...)

:D

This anglo thinks our national anthem sounds best en Francais.

As for any invasion of Canada, we'd step back and say here you go!

Two weeks later we'd ask the invaders the shut the door on their way out, as the wimps couldn't handle the weather, the mosquitoes and most importantly, our BEER! *cough-DC-cough*

Clearly your problem is that you're used to American Beer, which everyone knows is , as Monty Python put it: "Like sex in Canoe....fucking close to water)

This anglo thinks our national anthem sounds best en Francais.
Huh... I'm a French Canadian.
Our national anthem is officially 50-50 in both languages, but you know that already.

Two weeks later we'd ask the invaders the shut the door on their way out, as the wimps couldn't handle the weather, the mosquitoes and most importantly, our BEER! *cough-DC-cough*

Yessssss we make the best and strongest beer of the whole north-south continent!!!

Maudite: 8% strong beer
Fin du Monde: 9% beer with TASTE
La Terrible: 10.5%, blows up your brain while refreshing you
La 11: 11%, aged 5 years, makes a Bud taste like distilled water

Clearly your problem is that you're used to American Beer, which everyone knows is , as Monty Python put it: "Like sex in Canoe....fucking close to water)
Me love canoe. :D

This anglo thinks our national anthem sounds best en Francais.

As for any invasion of Canada, we'd step back and say here you go!

Two weeks later we'd ask the invaders the shut the door on their way out, as the wimps couldn't handle the weather, the mosquitoes and most importantly, our BEER! *cough-DC-cough*

Clearly your problem is that you're used to American Beer, which everyone knows is , as Monty Python put it: "Like sex in Canoe....fucking close to water)
Actually I think it was the vodka that got me. I've got alot of experience drinking Molson tripleX and even some strong beers like Maudite, La Fin du Mond, and home brewed barley wine.

Huh... I'm a French Canadian.
Our national anthem is officially 50-50 in both languages, but you know that already.



Yessssss we make the best and strongest beer of the whole north-south continent!!!

Maudite: 8% strong beer
Fin du Monde: 9% beer with TASTE
La Terrible: 10.5%, blows up your brain while refreshing you
La 11: 11%, aged 5 years, makes a Bud taste like distilled water


Me love canoe. :D
I must agree. You guys do brew some fine beers.

It was Canada day? But Google looked the same as always! :(
You should have tried google.ca, perhaps.

Either that or retaliate by tricking you into drinking large quantities of Southern Comfort, the most nauseating liquor ever, and then force you to go to work the next day.

BTW, I was drinking Southern Comfort the first time I got arrested, and I usually refer to it as Sudden Discomfort for the nauseating effect it has on me.
The first time I got really toasted it was on Southern Comfort and Mountain Dew. Still can't stomach either of them.

I guess yesterday was Canada day or something. I vaguely remember someone mentioning it. Last night I bought some Molson tripleX to celebrate Canada day. I drank that, plus some vodka. Now I'm in my office working through a hangover. I blame Canada.

Don't blame Canada, Canada is great!

Originally Posted by Drunk commies deleted
Either that or retaliate by tricking you into drinking large quantities of Southern Comfort, the most nauseating liquor ever, and then force you to go to work the next day.
So true!!!
I remember a party a few years ago. A friend of mine was sipping Southern Comfort on ice like there's no tomorrow.
"Hey slow down dude, you'll get drunk."
"No, that's ok, I know my limits."
Fair enough.
So later in the evening, it starts raining... so we have to rush & take the barbecue and the rest of the stuff in the garage.
Then we realize -- someone's missing!
We look outside... and we see that friend who was drinking Southern Comfort. He's lying in the grass, his head under the gutter's end, being splashed with all this water running down.
Upon closer inspection, we're relieved to discover he's passed out but still breathing.
So we called his father to get him home, but as soon as he's in the car, the difference in temperature makes him barf all over the place.
Definitely NOT his most glorious moment.

:sniper: Only geeks stuck in the 90s still go for regenerated monitored options. My country believes in interactive incremental concepts. Our exploratory research points to knowledge-based third-generation options. Forward-looking countries invest in systemised third-generation matrix approaches. You really can't fail with optional strategic flexibility. :mp5:

http://www.google.ca/logos/canada_day05.gif
http://www.google.ca/logos/canada_day04.gif
http://www.google.ca/logos/canada_day02.gif

My town's Canada Day fireworks display was delayed because of the thunderstorms we had yesterday. :(

My town's Canada Day fireworks display was delayed because of the thunderstorms we had yesterday. :(
They hestitate to blow up the storm clouds?

:sniper: Only geeks stuck in the 90s still go for regenerated monitored options. My country believes in interactive incremental concepts. Our exploratory research points to knowledge-based third-generation options. Forward-looking countries invest in systemised third-generation matrix approaches. You really can't fail with optional strategic flexibility. :mp5:

Why does this somehow remind me of the TIME CUBE?

www.timecube.com

P.S. It's good to finally be back after 18 hours of database error messages.

I guess yesterday was Canada day or something. I vaguely remember someone mentioning it. Last night I bought some Molson tripleX to celebrate Canada day. I drank that, plus some vodka. Now I'm in my office working through a hangover. I blame Canada.

All Canadians can blame the USA on July 4th for the same reason.. :D