NationStates Jolt Archive

My suggestions:

Muftak
George Bush the Third
Mr. Toad
The Incredible Hulk
Doctor Who
GJfbvsvnuyaw
Fatty Bumwinkle
Gassy
Jar Jar
Yoda
Yiddle
Yaddle
Piddle
Moonbeam
NationStates General Forum
LOL
Dances Like a Horse Pees

Anything else?

My wife and I were discussing this yesterday. We decided on 'Daisy', if it's a girl; 'Jampot', if it's a boy.

Saxo Gramaticus. And force him to learn sax. But then have to explain that he was actually named after some guy who chronicled the Dutch kings.

Or make him learn sax, and name him Adolph-forcing him to constantly explain that he is named after Adolph Sax, invetor of the saxophone. (or go by his middle name, which I would have to make Buttercup...)

Leeroy would be one. I also think "Phineas" and "Pip" to both be profoundly stupid names.

Leeroy would be one. I also think "Phineas" and "Pip" to both be profoundly stupid names.
I wish my name was Phineas...

I've heard a rumor of a Brazilian woman that named her child Hitler Stalin Mussolini. She didn't know who they were, only that they were famous.
Another thing you could do is give the child any number of names, such as six or seven first names.

Tlskjdsaishjeiasdig;asd, but insist it's pronounced 'Bob.'

Saxo Gramaticus. And force him to learn sax. But then have to explain that he was actually named after some guy who chronicled the Dutch kings.

Or make him learn sax, and name him Adolph-forcing him to constantly explain that he is named after Adolph Sax, invetor of the saxophone. (or go by his middle name, which I would have to make Buttercup...)
Excellent names both, but don't you have to change your NS label now?

How's the home thing going, BTW?

Name

Tlskjdsaishjeiasdig;asd, but insist it's pronounced 'Bob.'
With a silent 'B'.

Sphincticus Maximus.

Gotta go against Nick Cage on this one:
Asswipé Dümass

I wouldnt call my child matilda. awful name. torture.

Excellent names both, but don't you have to change your NS label now?
That took me a second. Still can't think of a name for me. Saddling some other poor innocent bastard with a name, though...

How's the home thing going, BTW?
Terrible. I'm homeless. I'm literally on borrowed time right now. I convinced them not to check my room till the 4th. I'm moving my stuff into my friends garage and cleaning out the VW so I can sleep in it. What's pissing my off is I was homeless once before and worked my way out and said, "Crap, I better finish college so I don't have to go through that again. That sucked." And here I am graduating college and...

Anyway...

Name the boy 'Sue' but shelter him from the song until his adult life so that when he finally goes out in the world and people go 'Like that song?' he'll be dumbfounded.

Anything even approaching normal is fine for a girl if she grows up HWP with the benefit of good genes. Her friends would call her Matie. Name your son Sue, and he's going either be dead or beat the shit out of you by the time he turns 15.

Name your son Sue, and he's going either be dead or beat the shit out of you by the time he turns 15.
If the song is to be believed, yes.

Susan or any varient thereof. Especialy Suzy.
Adolph
Mussolini
Hirohito
Mexicanh8ter2342
Chimpy
Engelbert
Fuck
Bart
Lisa
Margret
Marge
Homer
Bob
Jim
Jimmy
Joe
John
Mom
Dad
: ) (seriously, being named colon left-facing parenthese would be really bad)
Billy
Vietnam
Ivan the Mad
Scoobie
Crap
Solid Snake
Jackson
Pussy Galor
Goldfinger
Samadi
Thutmosis
Tutankhamen
Ramases
Neftertiti
Cleopatra
Frodo
Bilbo (imagine THAT name in high school)
Gandalf
Mutrzahkhatnaftertingflag
Master
God
Jesus
Couldntthinkofaname

What I would put on the birth certificate (while asking for the DNA test, and while the mother was knocked out) if I was ever accused of fathering a kid I was sure wasn't mine.

1337, H4X0r, PWND!, B0xen (Nvidia if its a girl), !!11eleventy!1!, Leech, Gomez, Morticia, Lurch

A cousin named one of his kids "Jaxon," now he's going to grow up and cook meth professionally, and summer in Walla Walla for the occasional B&E.

Couldntthinkofaname
I think that this is a perfectly workable name.

Name the child "Remote" and then get a tv without a remote control, making the kid change the channels for you. Then, when he's 12 tell him that the remote control was invented and they named it after him-destroying him socially as he insists that the remote control is name after him and not the other way around.

Does anyone that read Catch 22 remember Major Major Major Major? His dad tricked his mom into thinking he'd gotten a real name on his birth certificate, but instead was given Major as his first and middle name, to accompany his last. An error got him promoted to major, which is where he got stuck on the carreer ladder.

Major Major Major Major was the coolest. as was the description of his dad.

Name the child Buttons and the cat Michael, act confused when anyone suggest that it's backwards.

Yeah, Heller was brilliant.

Any name, but put a -ster on it. Insist on it being said.

I think that this is a perfectly workable name.
Yes, but imagine trying to sign it.

Yes, but imagine trying to sign it.
Name tags would be easy, like my flag-
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/cannot_think_of_a_name.jpg

.....
Terrible. I'm homeless. I'm literally on borrowed time right now. I convinced them not to check my room till the 4th. I'm moving my stuff into my friends garage and cleaning out the VW so I can sleep in it. What's pissing my off is I was homeless once before and worked my way out and said, "Crap, I better finish college so I don't have to go through that again. That sucked." And here I am graduating college and...

.....

Good luck with that. I've been homeless for about a year myself, but didn't really feel it, thanks to the kindness of some good friends in providing spare rooms and floors to crash on. But the feeling you get when you've got your own place again, is a very good one .....

It's times like this must make you love your VW, eh? (And thank God for the Californian climate!)


And to avoid accusasions of hijack:
One job I used to do, we had this woman come in with a birth certifcate for her second child, showing the name 'Number Two'. On being asked the obvious question, she nodded and replied, "Number One". She did look kind of strange ...

Rupert


Simple as, you would be in hell at school...

Dorcas. (Yes this is a real name.)

Rupert


Simple as, you would be in hell at school...
Meh, if he had any sense, he'd have you forking out for private school fees to avoid the child cruelty charges. No problem for Ruperts on that side of the tracks.

Anakin....thats a terriblke name for a child...cant' get much worse

Meh, if he had any sense, he'd have you forking out for private school fees to avoid the child cruelty charges. No problem for Ruperts on that side of the tracks.

Well known fact that all people named rupert are thicker than pig s**t, so i doubt it, we'll just send him off to some funny farm...


EDIT: If your name is Rupert i was being sarcastic....

i am naming my children numbers

as in 1 (last name)

and not

one (last name)


:D

Well known fact that all people named rupert are thicker than pig s**t, so i doubt it, we'll just send him off to some funny farm...


EDIT: If your name is Rupert i was being sarcastic....
That's OK, my name's not Rupert, and if it was, I'd have changed it anyway ....

Autumn! Horrible! And if it's a boy, you'll call him Winter?
What about April, or any other month. rrrrrrrr

But if your name is Autumn, it really suites you....

Autumn! Horrible! And if it's a boy, you'll call him Winter?
What about April, or any other month. rrrrrrrr

But if your name is Autumn, it really suites you....
That reminds me of one my favourite first names, 'Thursday'. My wife's got a friend called that. Brilliant!

Any name, but put a -ster on it. Insist on it being said.


would there be a 'the' in front of it?

Herbert

codey! that name just sickens me to the core

Johnjacobjingleheimersmith.

And insist that they made the song for him (or her)

All you people suggesting names like Cody and Rupert have obviously never been to an Upper-Middle to Upper class High School. They do fine there. More snobby WASP names than you can shake a stick at.

Anyhoo, I think that Hey, Hello, Howdy, or any other greeting would be bad. Especailly if the person is shy and has trouble saying a lot to new people.

Bob: Hi there. I’m Bob what’s your name?
Hello: Hello
Bob: Yes, hello. What’s you name?
Hello: Hello.
Bob: We’ve already been over that. What is your name?
Hello: Hello!
Bob: Dang it! *Socks Hello in face and carries on with uneventful life..*

All you people suggesting names like Cody and Rupert have obviously never been to an Upper-Middle to Upper class High School. They do fine there. More snobby WASP names than you can shake a stick at.





i go to an upper-middle class school..there are ab0out 2 ruperts and no codys

Balthazar, lord of anus

I should have made that clearer. A middle-upper to upper class school in the US. I’m just glad I don’t go there anymore.

I should have made that clearer. A middle-upper to upper class school in the US. I’m just glad I don’t go there anymore.

fair enough
over here its possible to see the difference between the generations for example


upper class - 15 years old

Names: Tobias
James
Christian
Edward
Robert
tristrum

Upper class- 1 year old

Jago
Onree
carlton
O.J
Junior

middle class 15 years old

Dan
Rob
Keith
Nathan
James
Etc.

lower - midlle class at around 1 year old

Brooklyne
Mike
Rooney
50 cent
ll kkoooljay
fresgo



(note: Hyperbole was used extensivly in the making of this post ;) )

Any double name. By double name, I mean:
Lee Lee
Felix Felix
Constantine Constantine

And, to a lesser extent:
Robert Roberts


Also, pretty much any name any celebrity has come up with for their kids is fucked.
Apple? If I had that name, I would have killed my parents.
Phinnaues and Hazel? The fuck was Julia Roberts thinking?


And I read a story about a guy named "baby smith." His parents couldn't decide the name at birth, so the birth certificate had "baby" written as the first name, as a sort of place holder. The man's name was never changed, as the name "baby" stuck. Poor guy.

Well my last name is Moore and I thought if I ever had a boy I'd name him Ronald, or Ron for short.
That way whenever he had to fill in a form where it asks for last name/first name or if he ever went to China he'd be called "Moore Ron".
A subtle joke that he probably wouldn't even realise until he's quite a bit older.

Other than that, maybe Phuqu. Just think of the problems he'd encounter whenever asked for his name!

Any of the daft names Paula Yates gave her children:
Fifi Trixibelle
Pixie
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily
Peaches Honey Blossom
(She should never have been allowed to breed, let alone name her children)

Simon Le Bon's daughters:
Amber Rose Tamara
Saffron Sahara
Tallulah Pine
(Too much coke there I think Simon)

Jamie Oliver' daughters :
Daisy Boo
Poppy Honey
(proving he's as dumb with names as he is with cooking)

Sylvester Stallone's daughter:
Sage Moonblood <---Sounds like a D&D name you might give yourself
(obviously had one too many hits to the head when filming the Rocky series)

Come on! Cute nicknames for a small kid, sure, but what happens when they get older and try to apply for a job with those really stupid names? It's just cruel.

David Bowie named his son Zowie.
The boy changed it as soon as he turned 16 and was legally able to.

Frank Zappa named his children Dweezil (son) and Moon Unit (daughter), but at least he had a damn good reason - he was Frank Zappa afterall.

Mike Hunt

hehe.

I read in my German GCSE textbook at school the name of a child that made me want to cry. The name was...

DILDO.

Yes, Dildo. Like the sex toy.

I was talking with one of my friends that a brilliant name to call your child would be...

RAMON.

We said that we would call our sons RAMON just so that we could say:

"Your name's Ramon!" and laugh.

I can't help thinking we'd make terrible parents. :)

Two real llife cases I know of:

Infant girl named Marijuana Pepsi ( named after her parents two favorite things) you can google to verify. Read a newspaper article on her years ago.

Infant girl named Meconium. For those of you who are not familiar with this term let me enlighten you. In utero an infant's nourishment comes via the placenta. Thus when the infant is born their first few stools are unique because they didn't travel fully through the GI tract. This first fecal matter is black and very tarry in consistency. It is called Meconium.

So parents please reconsider and be kind to your children.

Jamie Oliver' daughters :
Daisy Boo
Poppy Honey
(proving he's as dumb with names as he is with cooking)

Sorry Demented Hamsters, but I have ALL the Jamie Oliver books - is that sad? - and think he's a brilliant chef. And I thought that "Jamie's School Dinners" on C4 was brilliant: school dinners are horrid, and it's about time somebody did something about it.

Although, I agree, he does have terrible taste in names.

Sorry Demented Hamsters, but I have ALL the Jamie Oliver books - is that sad? - and think he's a brilliant chef. And I thought that "Jamie's School Dinners" on C4 was brilliant: school dinners are horrid, and it's about time somebody did something about it.

Although, I agree, he does have terrible taste in names.
He's not a patch on Rick Stein. And I'm betting Rick hasn't given his children such daft names!

Well I found a good one from the Life of Brian
Bigus Dikus

Then there is
qwerty
asdf
jkl;
Adolph Hilter II, the great great grandson of Mussolini
Me
You
I
,But
What
Hi-Oh!

All punctuation included

Harry Balzac sounds like a good name. Also you can just name him after former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle.

I swear this is true. (at least I was told it was true). Some years ago, two people my parents knew has a baby girl. "What are you going to name her?" they were asked. "We can't name her. The hospital already did."
"What do you mean? The hospital can't name your child for you."
"They did. When they brought her to us, she had a little armband with the name they chose for her."
The child's "name" was Female. Which these people thought was pronounced Fee-mah-lay. I swear, I'm not making this up.

my friend's mom works in the hospital and one girl at the hospital ended up naming her kid (i want to say daughter) Placenta. not the smartest girl, i believe.

a kid i know is named Ben Johnson. i asked him if his middle name started with a T. it did. i asked him to sign his name with the T in it.

Ben T. Johnson

he didn't get it

A. Dick

"el Gorgeous" and force everyone to call him by his first name.
with great force.
also, there is a fellow that lives someplace in michigain, with the name "harry Sachrider"

poor bastard.

oh oh oh....
And what about a certain Donald Duk? This is not a joke!! There is a man here in the Netherlands with this name. I wonder if he has children of his own... Triplets, boys if possible...

Naming your kids after places: Lourdes, or Paris? Would you really want to know where your parents made you?

Another stupid exemple: "Born: John Alexander, and we call him Henry" Why, I ask you. Why...

Names spelled the wrong way. "Brayn" instead of "Bryan".

And those DIY names: Varinka, Khrisnina.

These kids must do horrible things to their parents when they're older.

i'd just name them after me. my first name is jemima. (which i do my best not to answer to.)

I knew a girl named Anita Ball. The worst part is that she is a second generation Anita.

I don't have to name them anything, my last name is humiliating enough

One teacher once told us the following story: a couple had decided to name their boy Sven and it was the father's duty to go and write the name on the birth certificate... Unfortunately he first went to a bar in order to celebrate the birth of his son... when he finally arrived at the office, he was too drunk to remember the name.. all he could remember was that it had something to do with vikings... so he named the boy Haegar.
I wonder what his wife did to him when he returned...

Osama.

Shithead. This is an actual galic name, pronounced "sha-theed"

Ardvark

Gaylord Fokker. (That's a real surname of a rich Dutch family, and Gaylord is a real first name. :))

Any luxembourgish name: Jhemp(i), Pitti, Jhang, Kätti, Pirr, Mausi (that's actually the name of my grandfather's sister; it's the luxembourgish form of Margaret)

Farquod (like from the Shrek movie)
Supercalafragelisticexpealadocious (yah, even if it isn't spelled right)
*grins* Fark as a first name with a middle name that begins with an "U"
or even just Effeu, and insist it's French or something... :P
Gail (for a boy - just plain wrong)

That's all I can think of at this time... *evil grin*

ROFLcopter
Clock
Poopmonger
Uber SpamGirl if it's a boy
Elite Jolt Forum User if it's a girl
:Lol:

any noun followed by a body part. Like:
Spoon Face
Plunger Head
Refrigerator Testicle (girl)

I would name my children Thing 1 and Thing 2.

humuhumunukunukuapuaa kahelemailie (last name)

just try filling out some of them short name lines with this one.

I think you couldn't go wrong with 'Fürchtegott' :eek:

"Yon-Darth Tave'is the Foeslayer, Lord Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe"... what were my parents thinking? :headbang:

Also:
After any of the Old French departments (i.e. Alsace, Champagne, Bourbon, Flanders), anything in Britain (London, Essex, Suffolk, Yorkshire), names belonging to pets (Spot, Rover, Fluffy, Feathers), or any of those Amish-type names (Truth, Memory, Remembrance, Praise the Lord), or after any two or more-word nouns (i.e. Electric Toothbrush, Toilet Plunger).

Especially if, like CToaN, you insist that it be pronounced "Bob", i.e. "My name is Praise the Lord Jones, but it's pronounced 'Bob'."

Any random collection of letters, numbers, or 1337 symbols will do. (i.e. Jxuey47f, ZX81 H4x0r0r, P93fcfcufbbkbynnnutiv, Qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm)


EDIT: Or, name it after a NS poster. I'm still trying to imagine someone named "FairyTInkArisen" or "Roach-Busters", lol.

-snip-
vicious!
if you get/have children, you should really consider letting your spouse name them :p
edit: meh...i meant to type 'snip' and out came ':eek:'... methinks i need coffee.

Or how about Randy and Horny...?

Or how about Randy and Horny...?
"Randy Giles? I knew there was a reason I hate you! Why not just call me Horny Giles or Desperate For A Shag Giles?" ~Spike, BtVS

George Z Bush

Osama bin Jong il

Segway Smith

Daikatana Morris

Anything starting with "Keanu ..."

vicious!
if you get/have children, you should really consider letting your spouse name them :p
edit: meh...i meant to type 'snip' and out came ':eek:'... methinks i need coffee.Nah, it'll just be too fun. Wouldn't you love to be named 'Pxyvertct75gj5n9if94kf;4h[]s=0g\4gnh'? Or <HTML><HEAD>Title</HEAD><BODY><FONT=F1><BODYTEXT>Text</BODYTEXT></FONT></BODY></HTML>? And even if not, well, too bad! ;)

Nah, it'll just be too fun. Wouldn't you love to be named 'Pxyvertct75gj5n9if94kf;4h[]s=0g\4gnh'? Or <HTML><HEAD>Title</HEAD><BODY><FONT=F1><BODYTEXT>Text</BODYTEXT></FONT></BODY></HTML>? And even if not, well, too bad! ;)
you're right! 'Pxyvertct75gj5n9if94kf;4h[]s=0g\4gnh' is a really pretty name. I might consider changing my name to that. The one I have now is so... ordinary :D

"Randy Giles? I knew there was a reason I hate you! Why not just call me Horny Giles or Desperate For A Shag Giles?" ~Spike, BtVS

God, I love this scene!

Brazil seems to ba place where names can be a problem. We have had people called:

Laedidai (Said Lady Di)
Coitado (Which technicaly means fucked, but is used to mean poor fucked up idiot)

But other than that there is the classic Michael Hunt.

roflbert.

The worst name I know of in real life is Giesela. That's just going above and beyong the call for ugliness. I'd pitty the German girls, but I'm busy puking

The worst name I know of in real life is Giesela. That's just going above and beyong the call for ugliness. I'd pitty the German girls, but I'm busy puking

Why? German names are beautiful! :)

List of Terrific Deutsch names:

Bertha
Diesel
Ludwig
Giesela
Otto
Ottokar
Wolfgang

for all Lovecraft fans...

name the kid 'Hastur'

Lord Belfast Montegue Happenstance II

Slobodom Milosovic

137B

Ghengis

Even more terrific german names: Siegfried, Siegbert, Sieglinde

Blowisha

This is an actual (and reasonably common) name in Norway:

Odd-Even

Of course, there are people named just Odd and just Even as well, but the double name is much better.

I know a boy named Stacy, he used to get a lot of stick at school.

Someone else I know said that his parents were thinking of calling him Diggory :confused:

Hei Yu
Hu
Richard Hurtz Badly (dosn't have to have your last name)
Phuk Yew
Phuk Minow
Suk Mi Leong

A guy wanted to call his son "Spatula". Name got rejected by some "stupid name prevention committee".

And "Satan" is a Czech name that won't do it in North America. LOL

Poodnatz
Gleeb Quibbleflofpooh
Munchy
Porkshoe
Bubba
Uhnderwehr
Detlaf
Retardula
Percy Menmnomic Hurdel
Elftor
Poontang
Hurley (as in Hurley Hatwood, famous car designer)
Soupy

i would have to legaly change my last name to Glidewell then marry, have a kid andname him willie. Willie Glidewell.. :cool:

When I was in Univ, I knew of a Bangladeshi student (nice fellow, btw) named Saddam Hussein. :D

It is a not an unusual name back in his country and his parents never knew of the Iraqi dictator. The poor guy had a hard time with his American fellow students, with the jokes and all.

Poindexter
General von Dem Weibchen
Lesley (for a boy)
Edith (for a boy, pronounced with a short 'e'.)

And "Satan" is a Czech name that won't do it in North America. LOL

I really like the name "Lucifer" but wouldn't dare call a child it.

Bah, demons get the best names :(

There'a a law enforcement officer here named Richard Head. What are parents thinking when they do that? And how many people call him dick head now?

My suggestions:

Muftak
George Bush the Third
Mr. Toad
The Incredible Hulk
Doctor Who
GJfbvsvnuyaw
Fatty Bumwinkle
Gassy
Jar Jar
Yoda
Yiddle
Yaddle
Piddle
Moonbeam
NationStates General Forum
LOL
Dances Like a Horse Pees

Anything else?

Tara told me today we're not naming our kid "Lucifer" or "Lilith" no matter how much I might like the names. (Hey, think big, you know?)

Meh. Im naming my kid god, raising him atheist, and going to have a record for worst father in the world ;)

Unless the wife doesnt agree. Maybe I can do the same, but with the name christian, and maybe she wont see my devious plan...

Well, identical twins with near identical names is bad, and my father actually went to school with one Wayne Kuhr. poor, poor sod. Fanny is a good one. in england it means a woman's 'other bottom', and then there's the trekkie dream names. 'my parents didn't name me worf, so i'll call my daughter seven of nine'. the thing is they'd see it as a blessing!

and i forgot. there's a real indian name. Minjeeta. say it out loud, slowly. then find a floor, lie down and wet yourself laughing!

I really like the name "Lucifer" but wouldn't dare call a child it.

Bah, demons get the best names :(
I like Illyria. I'm serious. My little girl is gonna be named Catherine Illyria Omeria (My last name here). My other little girl's name is gonna be Joanne Kathleen Hecate Bitch (My last name here). If I end up with a boy, his name will be Alexander Lucifer Drake Hellboy Harry Potter (My last name here). Hey, I'm Southern, I can give my kids as many first and middle names as I want!

A guy wanted to call his son "Spatula". Name got rejected by some "stupid name prevention committee".

And "Satan" is a Czech name that won't do it in North America. LOL

I've always found it funny when they report on the news that Satan has let his team to victory....

and i forgot. there's a real indian name. Minjeeta. say it out loud, slowly. then find a floor, lie down and wet yourself laughing!

I dont get it.

Well known fact that all people named rupert are thicker than pig s**t
You mean like Rupert Murdoch, for whom Congress passed a special act to make him a US citizien, and who owns FOX and all those newspapers?

I dont get it.

Do you not know what a minge is? (Is this just British slang?)

Well, "eta" (eater) is after it so take a guess ;)

You mean like Rupert Murdoch, for whom Congress passed a special act to make him a US citizien, and who owns FOX and all those newspapers?

Careful, don't take everything too seriously on these forums :)

Name them like:

Mike Lone
Nothomo Sapiens
Abom Ination
So Ulless

Or like after a superhero:

Wonder Woman Smith
Superman Jones
Dynamic Duo Adams

My mother (a biologist) at one point seriously considered naming me "Darwina."

This idea died quickly when my father told her that he'd only agree with "Darwina" as a first name if my middle name was "Schnitzel."

List of Terrific Deutsch names:

Bertha
Diesel
Ludwig
Giesela
Otto
Ottokar
Wolfgang

You left out Dildo! Best name ever - on equal terms with Ramon: "You're name's Ramon!"
*I'm gonna be a terrible parent*

My mother-in-law got into a tizzy over us naming our son "Hannibal" until I informed her that we originally contemplated naming him "God".

The German name I hate the most has to be "Helmut"

Any girl name for a boy, like calling your son Lisa or something like that.

Well a hero in a englisgnovell had always the perfect name for Sweden Dirk Pitt (the perfect one would be Dick Pitt). Because pitt means dick in Sweden and even if dick doesn't mean anything in sweden most people know that it means include kids.

Someone I know called their son Buster...dear god why....

just watch Meet the Fockers. Naming your kid Gaylord Focker should pretty much cover a name to make your kid get beat up everyday at school.

Wolfgang is a funny name. I found someone on Championship Manager called Wolfgang Wolf, manager of Wolfsburg lol

Gern Blandsten

The German name I hate the most has to be "Helmut"
Wolfgang is a funny name. I found someone on Championship Manager called Wolfgang Wolf, manager of Wolfsburg lol
my aunt's boyfriend's name is Wolfgang, but my grandfather somehow never got that and still thinks it's Helmut.
Family reunions usually turn out to be hilarious :D
...
meh, thought I'd share this with all of you.

Who
What
Nobody
Nowhere
Nothing
Something
Everything
Idiot
Stupid
Moron
George W. Bush is the greatest man who ever existed
" "worst man who ever existed
Existance
Rascist
Antisemite
Me

Some more to my list :)

F*** Off I'm not telling.....Smith....Great when asked what their name is

Has this been said: Max Berry

Satin Desiree is a real name I came across years ago when I worked for Child Support Enforcement. What did the mother think that child would grow up to be? University president maybe.

Also knew an elderly lady named Zenobia Krapp. Seriously.

Has this been said: Max Berry
max berry would be quite ok, I think, but what about
straw berry? :p

I've known someone whose last name was "Coker" and someone else whose name was Ecstacy. Apparently there's a lot of junkies in B'ham, Alabama. :D

Minamis

Say it out loud.

"Everybody, this is a new student. Tell the class what your name is."

"Minamis Gordon"

"Gordon what?"

"Gordon is my last name mam."

"What's your first name?"

"Minamis"

"Go on."

"That's my name."

Etc. Evil, absolutely evil.

Like that Johnny Cash song....
----------------------------------
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."




Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."

He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Sue.'"

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!
-------------------------------

max berry would be quite ok, I think, but what about
straw berry? :p
How about Blue (or Blew) Barry? :eek:
*Slaps own wrist* Bad self, bad!

Heres one- Richard, or Ima, or even Kamlakelieaka for a boy, which is a name of a kid at my school

To add to my list:

Names out of "Lord of the Rings": Faramir, Frodo, Sauron, Shelob, Pippin...

Multi-names: John Jacob William Edward Patrick Fitzgerald Patterson Wilder Jackson Elizabeth David Hunter Johnson... and on and on and on... and then insist that everyone call him by his full name.

Tacking things onto the end of the name: Andrew the Avenger, Sam the Swordmaster, Brian the Bold, Fred the Ferocious...

Titles: King, Lord, Regent, Mayor, Duchess... as in "Lord Smith", "Duchess Warren", "Emperor Jones"... :D

someone named their kid 123456789 and said it was pronounced jessica. but then i think that they made them change it. im not really sure

someone named their kid 123456789 and said it was pronounced jessica. but then i think that they made them change it. im not really sureYeah, it's in the Guinness Book of World Records. ;)

someone named their kid 123456789 and said it was pronounced jessica. but then i think that they made them change it. im not really sure
"Hi, I'm Jessica."
"Is that one 'S' or two?"
"None."
"What?"
"It's spelt 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9."
:p

Here are some names that should be be weird and insane enough:

Screamus Carrotus
Fluffer Increment
Fluffus Flummus
Inflammable Torch
Trollus Stinkus
Gigglus Evillus

I wonder what people would think about those...

To add to my list:

Names out of "Lord of the Rings": Faramir, Frodo, Sauron, Shelob, Pippin...

Heh heh. My first name (which I actually quite like) is out of Tolkien's Silmarillion, and my brother's middle name is Peregrin, as in the hobbit. My mother's a nerd.

It's really not too bad, though - I only suffer under my elvish name insofar as no one pronounces it correctly.

I think Samwise would be pretty bad if the child turned out to be mentally handicapped.

A cousin named one of his kids "Jaxon," now he's going to grow up and cook meth professionally, and summer in Walla Walla for the occasional B&E.
Still, that's better than Jaxoff. :rolleyes: :D

But: Ana Laird. Lalita. Lancelot. Lex Luthor. Boy Tarzan. Couch (John Couch Adams.)

If a boy, Meredith, Jennifer, Brook, and so on.

Jazzy Jeff is a pretty bad name to give your child...especially if he ends up being a DJ.

Hitler

:D :)

Yussuk-M'dik would be a nice name if you wanted to make him suffer..

Yussuk-M'dik would be a nice name if you wanted to make him suffer..
Or get a lot of oral favors...

I don't know why, but Conrad has always seemed like a really silly name to me... no offense... Some weirdos actually go all the way. A person my mom know has a boy named Solstice(spelling?) because he was born that day.

Someone tried to name their child Neigh of Heat(as in mating season). It sounds catchier in Swedish, but still... It's always bad being named after famous people.

Napoleon, Washington, Nelson, Cromwell, Lama, Reagan... all of those are bad first names since it makes people think of something else.

Don't know if this has been said before, but I'd say "Gaylord".

"First" (first name)
"Last" (last name)

or, what i plan on naming MY kid: "Project 14379"

Gaylord (real name).

I'm just john russell and i get jack russell all the time. so call them jack russell and get some other breed of dog. giant schnauser?

"Mistake"
"Ooops"

...

I knew someone with last name Stillhard, first name Richard (everyone called him Dick).

Bin Laden

Whitey. Whitey Lopez. :D

If someone has already said that, well, screw you for beating me.

Also Pubes Lopez.


Phbbt...Pubes.

There are hordes of awful and stupid names. George Carlin goes after a few of them in "Complaints and Grievances". And in case you think I'm making these up, I'm a teacher -- the following examples are all names I've seen and called while taking roll.

My least favorite is this trend of bending and blending gender-specific names or making them "neuter" names:

Morgan
Taylor
Kerry/Terry (somehow with a Y they're male and with and I they're not. Huh?)

Then there's the use of last names as first names, regardless of gender:

MacKenzie
Carson
Cooper
Tucker
Washington
Jefferson
Lincoln
Tyler (what's next, Polk?)

Or these soft, fruity names that Boomers have burdened their kids with:

Brandon
Braden
Brent
Blaine
Brad (most of these abominations start with B for some reason)
Todd
Trent
Kyle
Graham
Grey

Then there are those who name them ofter distinctively named famous or mythological people:

Anais
Dante
Wolfgang
Blaise
Dashiell
Thelonious
Ariadne
Callisto
Europa

Or those environmentally fruity parents -- it was okay when it was rare and caught on like Violet, Flora, or (as much as I loathe this name) Amber, but witness:

Cedar
Aspen
Sierra
Spring, Summer, Autumn (notice nobody ever names their kid Winter...)
Ember (as if Amber wasn't bad enough...)

I'm just waiting for the time I have a class with kids whose parents are really into ancient Greece and Rome:

"Agammemnon, you stop teasing Caligula!"

"It's spelt 'Raymond Luxury Yacht (pronounced "yatch't"), but it's pronounced 'Throatwarbler Mangrove."

Gladys Stoatpamphlet
Jethro Q. Walrustitty
Dr. Dan Streetmentioner

Name them after a month they weren't born in... I once knew a girl born in December and her name was April.

I knew someone who didn't like being called 'peter' so he changed his name by deed pole to perigrine... OMFG!? that's a rare outburst, but i'd rather be called peter than pip, pippin or perigrine! this was a while before the lord of the rings was being hyped everywhere, poor sod.

and then there's my uincle graham, who everyone calles Gra, but he started getting grey hairs at about 20... that's sod's law for you.

note to yanks. Sod's law (or murphy's law in polite company) means that tempting fate makes you responsible for your bad luck. e.g. the classic "At least it can't get any worse now" *bang* ow! moments we loved as children.

how about mortimer?

"It's spelt 'Raymond Luxury Yacht (pronounced "yatch't"), but it's pronounced 'Throatwarbler Mangrove."

I was going to do that joke! BTW, it's "Throatwabbler Mangrove", not "Throatwarbler". At least that's what the script says.


Edit: And the worst name ever is, of course...

Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (sound effect of horse whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (blows whistle) Northgot Edawrds Harris (fires pistol, which goes 'whoop') Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) We'll Keep a Welcome In The (three shots, stops singing) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-draws Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton Mannering (hoot, 'whoop') Smith

Timothy Dalton would be lame if not anything else :D

went to school with a guy whose last name was bowles. he named is son, "smoke".

went to school with a guy whose last name was bowles. he named is son, "smoke".


hehehe

Jesusisgay

Myanusisbleeding

These Simpson-ish namecombinations would be pretty bad too, the likes of Oliver Klotzoff, Hugh Jass, Jaques Strap or Mike Rotch. :rolleyes:

George W. Bush

I was going to do that joke! BTW, it's "Throatwabbler Mangrove", not "Throatwarbler". At least that's what the script says.


Edit: And the worst name ever is, of course...

Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (sound effect of horse whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (blows whistle) Northgot Edawrds Harris (fires pistol, which goes 'whoop') Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) We'll Keep a Welcome In The (three shots, stops singing) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-draws Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton Mannering (hoot, 'whoop') Smith

Hey! I just wanted to say that!

And I'm sure the german speakers among you will appreciate the following real name: Axel Schweiss

Niccolo Medici

Because he probably already existed in the past or worse yet he's alive today and I stole his good name and ruined it ;)

Some poor bastard is walking around Italy wondering why everyone thinks he's boring as hell even before he opens his mouth.

I think of this and it gives me sadistic pleasure.

Worst names:

Mechthild
anything starting with "Sieg" (Sieg is german for victory, how embarrassing is that?)
Bonnie (Bonn is a city!)
Fürchtegott (translated: "fear God")
Angela or Angelika as any relation to angels in a girl's name
Any name from Star-Trek, Star Wars, LoTR or similar films

Eric Cartman

Any famous person.