NationStates Jolt Archive

So you've been wrongfully imprisoned and they let you use time served to commit one crime. It can be either-

Steal a car

-or-

Kick the guard in the crotch.

What d'ya choose?

Inspired by and episode of The Simpsons.

No 'other' or Myrth options, ya pansies-answer the question!

Stealing the guard's car.

Stealing the guard's car.

...in the crotch.

*moaning* nobody ever chooses the car ... :(



:D

The way I see it, you'll feel damn good a year down the road when you have to face that guard every day.

Cannot think of a name Cannot think of a topic either. ;)

Liverbreath']Cannot think of a name Cannot think of a topic either. ;)
Well, ya...

The way I see it, you'll feel damn good a year down the road when you have to face that guard every day.
I'd feel better speeding by him.

I'd pick the car. A really really nice one. I'd steal a ferrari or lamborghini or Aston martin, you know, supercar type thingy. Then the cops wouldn't arrest me because I got my one free crime.

Since I don't currently have a car, and since I could use a car, and since I can't afford a car right now, I choose kicking the guard in the nuts. (That's what's known in poetry as dashing the reader's expectations. :D )

Since I don't currently have a car, and since I could use a car, and since I can't afford a car right now, I choose kicking the guard in the nuts. (That's what's known in poetry as dashing the reader's expectations. :D )
Quality :D!

Since I don't currently have a car, and since I could use a car, and since I can't afford a car right now, I choose kicking the guard in the nuts. (That's what's known in poetry as dashing the reader's expectations. :D )
You jerk! I shall hunt you down and force you to take the car! Argh!

I'll steal a car...

...shit, I can sell the thing if I want to.

I can't drive; but steal the car, then sell the car and buy a bike.

Car. Armored, loaded with as much gold bulion and hundreds of millions of dollars in unsecured bearer bonds as it could haul. Which I'd then use to fund the overly elaborate and ironic assasination of the people who put me in jail, and didn't help get me out. What do I win?

Car. Armored, loaded with as much gold bulion and hundreds of millions of dollars in unsecured bearer bonds as it could haul. Which I'd then use to fund the overly elaborate and ironic assasination of the people who put me in jail, and didn't help get me out. What do I win?

A kick in the crotch.

I broke the tie! Yay!

Anyways, I'd steal the car. Why? Cause I'd sell it and buy something better. Besides, if I kick the guard in the crotch, who knows if I'll see that guard again? And this time, I will not be protected. *Shudder*

Honestly I don't care about money. But I'd feel incredibly good knowing I crushed the fuckers balls and broke his pelvis :cool:

At 26 votes it's a dead tie. I don't know what to make of it. (I chose kick to the crotch. In the long run far more satisfying-the 'victim' is involved in the crime)

The car!
Note: said car might not actually be a car, but a tank.

i voted for the car, even though i can't drive
if i'd steal an expensive car, i could learn to drive and buy another car :D

I can't believe 'steal a car' is winning over kick in the crotch. Selling the car is 'Selling stolen property' and is a seperate crime that your time bank doesn't account for-remember you only get one crime.

I can't believe 'steal a car' is winning over kick in the crotch. Selling the car is 'Selling stolen property' and is a seperate crime that your time bank doesn't account for-remember you only get one crime.
Damn! I missed that twist in the tail. So I guess I'd have to steal the car, let my wife drive the car, so she can sell her car and buy me a bike. Does that work?

Damn! I missed that twist in the tail. So I guess I'd have to steal the car, let my wife drive the car, so she can sell her car and buy me a bike. Does that work?
As far as I can tell, yes that works. Though I still personally think it would be more satisfying to give the swift kick, I can see the utilitarianess of keeping the car, though it does victimize someone not involved in the original wrong.

But if it's a cool car stolen from a real dick, well...

As far as I can tell, yes that works. Though I still personally think it would be more satisfying to give the swift kick, I can see the utilitarianess of keeping the car, though it does victimize someone not involved in the original wrong.

But if it's a cool car stolen from a real dick, well...
Ideally it's the guard's car.




..... that he's spent the last ten years lovingly restoring from the axles up.

Crotch ... I can always earn a car ... naling the bastard in the crotch would be worth it (assuming he was an ass or did something to keep you in prison longer then nessisary)

Ideally it's the guard's car.




..... that he's spent the last ten years lovingly restoring from the axles up.
Quality!

one of two things.

1) Instead of car, I'd steal one of the vans the banks use to transfer money in. Everything inside the van at the time of stealing is therefore rightfully mine, and I'm rich.

2) Steal a car then drive it into the guards crotch. (I can't believe nobody said that!)



(actually, I'd probably do number one followed by number two. Can you imagine an armoured car hitting you in the crotch. *doubles up in pain from thinking about it*)

Crotch ... I can always earn a car ... naling the bastard in the crotch would be worth it (assuming he was an ass or did something to keep you in prison longer then nessisary)
With a name like 'UpwardThrust' I would have been disapointed with any other answer.

What kind of car is it? Is it a nice car or a shitbox? Because that affects my decision.

What kind of car is it? Is it a nice car or a shitbox? Because that affects my decision.
It's just 'steal a car,' so I think it's stealer's choice.

It's just 'steal a car,' so I think it's stealer's choice.

Yeah, on second thought, it doesn't change my decision.

I'd steal the car and then run over the guard's crotch. :D

Err......... I voted wrong, I thought it was "Which is wrongful imprisonment?"

Take the car and kick my ACCUSER in the crotch. :sniper:

I can't believe how hung up on cars everyone is?!

Imagine how idiotic you'd feel stealing a car from someone who really fucked with you. The guy will have a borrower half an hour later, and a new car payed by his insurance within the week. You're practically doing the guy a favour!!

Now imagine someone who really fucked you over writhig in pain and a full body cast, bound to a hospital bed for the next 6 months. Unable to ever have kids and forced to piss through a plastic tube for the rest of his life - All because you had the opportunity to don your steelcaps and kick him so hard he passed out gargling in a pool of his own blood and mangled balls!

...And you lot want the car?! This is so wrong... No justice in the world anymore...