NationStates Jolt Archive

"The reason the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices it on a daily basis." - from a post-war debriefing of a German General

"But who says a doctor can't be sick?" - A doctor, Chip N' Dale's Rescue Rangers, "A Fly in the Ointment"

"Nothing except a battle lost can be half as melancholy as a battle won." -The Duke of Wellington, on Waterloo.

"Aw, Fuji. Why is it always monkeys? Why can't I ever be attacked by crazed supermodels?" - Ron Stoppable, Kim Possible

Maybe some more later. :)

I liked it when Ron asked for the number for 9-11. :D

"Tiiiiiiiiiime?" The G-man.

"If a chicken had lips, could it whistle?" Louis Stevens

"BADGERS?!?!? we dont need no stinking badgers!"

6 points if anyone can name the movie that came from

"War is hell." General William T. Sherman

"Duty, Honor, Country........." Douglas MacArthur commencement speech West Point.

I liked it when Ron asked for the number for 9-11. :D
But...but....HOMER SIMPSON did it! And better too!

"Hello, Operator! Gimmie the number for 911!"


"Airborne Portugese Ninja Eats Man for his Tie" -Wheatus (band), "Dynomite Satchel of Pain"

"BADGERS?!?!? we dont need no stinking badgers!"

6 points if anyone can name the movie that came from
Cadddyshack? I have no idea, shot in the dark - blindfolded.

"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?" - Wayne Brady, The Chapelle Show


"I'm high on Jesus because the cross is the bong of Jesus." - my friend is a weirdo.

" 'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat, 'we're all mad here.' " - Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

"I have a cold! And the only cure...IS MORE COWBELL!" - misquote from Christopher Reeves (?), from SNL. Forgot what sketch it was. The one with the cowbell og course.


"If one man dies, it's a tragedy. If millions die, it's a statistic." - Joseph Stalin

(how can that one be forgotten?)

"If one man dies, it's a tragedy. If millions die, it's a statistic." - Joseph Stalin

(how can that one be forgotten?)


"The pope? How many divisions does he have then?" -Uncle Joe Stalin.

"BADGERS?!?!? we dont need no stinking badgers!"

6 points if anyone can name the movie that came from

Spiderman, Glider blasting the other suit I believe.

Tag

This ought to be good. Unfortunately I've got so many quotes in my head, I can't remember which ones are memorable and which ones aren't.

"You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."
-- The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

Madness is something rare in individuals -- but in groups, parties, peoples, ages it is the rule.
Beyond Good and Evil.

I fear animals regard man as a creature of their own kind which has in a highly dangerous fashion lost its healthy animal reason -- as the mad animal, as the laughing animal, as the weeping animal, as the unhappy animal.
The Gay Science.

What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: "This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence - even this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it, speck of dust!" Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus?... Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?
The Gay Science.

Not necessity, not desire - no, the love of power is the demon of men. Let them have everything - health, food, a place to live, entertainment - they are and remain unhappy and low-spirited: for the demon waits and waits and will be satisfied.
The Dawn.
Ok, so perhaps they aren't easily considered memorable... but they are my favourite quotes from this brilliant existentiallist philosopher. :)

"BADGERS?!?!? we dont need no stinking badgers!"

6 points if anyone can name the movie that came from


UHF

UHF

Love that movie.

Guy:"Excuse me, but where can I find books on astronomy?"

Conan the Librarian: (Lifts 'guy' in the air) "Don't chu know da Dewey Decimal System?"


And for my actual quote: "Evil will always prevail, for good is dumb."-Dark Helmet in Spaceballs

"Tiiime, Dr. Freeman? Is it really that time again? It seems as though you only just arrived. You've done a great deal in a small time...span; you've done so well, in fact, that I've recieved some interesting offers for your services. Ordinarily, I wouldn't contemplate them, but these are extraordinary.. times.

Rather than offer you the.. illusion of free choice, I will take the liberty of choosing for you, if and when your time comes round again.

I do apologise for what must seem to you an arbitrary imposition, Dr. Freeman; I trust it will make sense in the course of...

...well, I'm really not at liberty to say.

In the mean-time, this is where I get off."

"You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."
-- The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly


Damn!! You beat me to it.


How about Eli Wallach- "If you're gonna shoot, shoot, dont talk".

But...but....HOMER SIMPSON did it! And better too!

"Hello, Operator! Gimmie the number for 911!"


"Airborne Portugese Ninja Eats Man for his Tie" -Wheatus (band), "Dynomite Satchel of Pain"

The Simpsons aren't even funny, though. That show is as old as a dirty pair of socks left in the sun for a hundred years.

A quote the Left would love to have everybody forget:


"We are all Keynesians now."

-Richard Nixon

"Sometimes, I think Trent just needs a cup of hot chocolate and a blankie." -Tori Amos on Nine Inch Nails

"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it." -- C. S. Lewis, "The Chronicles of Narnia"

The ITPO Theorem--The response time from IT is inversely proportional to the number of times you bugged the crap out of it in the past six months

Homer: [to Bart in Japanese, subtitled:] Should we tell them the secret of
inner peace?
Bart: [Japanese, subtitled:] No, they are foreign devils.

Seen on Slashdot.org:
"Member of Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force 1991-1950."

Groucho Marx to some film starlet:
G. Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?
Actress: Yes
G Would you sleep with me for a dollar?
Actress: No! What do you think I am?
G. I thought we had established that and were now haggling the price.

"Some of my best friends are communists."

-Franklin D. Roosevelt

Groucho Marx to some film starlet:
G. Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?
Actress: Yes
G Would you sleep with me for a dollar?
Actress: No! What do you think I am?
G. I thought we had established that and were now haggling the price.
Groucho Marx had some good ones

"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"

"Military music is to music what military justice is to justice."

I believe this was Groucho Marx:

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

Oh yes I jsut remember another one I think is Groucho

"I laughed from teh moment I picked up your book until the moment I put it down, someday I intend to read it."

Crichton: "You wanna see it? The thing you've been chasing my ass all over the universe for? Torturing me, my wife, my friends for? The wormhole weapon. You wanna see it?"
Scorpius: "Yes."
Crichton: "Beg."
Scorpius: "I beg you."
Crichton: "It's not good enough. Say please."
Scorpius: "Please."
Crichton: "Pretty please."
Scorpius: "Pretty please."
Crichton: "With a cherry on top."
Scorpius: "With a cherry on top."
Crichton: "Happy birthday. Now get out of my sight."


it's so much better to hear it (http://www.scaper.com/sounds/pkwbeg.mp3)

farscape always had some excellent banter going on, now like all teh actors are going to stargate: the girl i can't remember her name who played aron suun is there and already guest starred once and looks to be a regular player, now the guy who played crichton is joining the sgc in the next season