NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/sex/61270

TEEN HORRIFIED AFTER DOWNLOADING SKIN FLICK AND DISCOVERING...
MOM AND DAD ARE PORNO STARS!


By MATT KIRSCH

AN OHIO teen was severely traumatized after discovering the stars of a downloaded porno flick were none other than his own parents.

Timmy Shannon, 17, recalls the moment that scarred him for life. "I was like five minutes into this porno called Horny House Wives 4, when I thought to myself, 'Hey, that couch looks exactly like the one I'm sitting on. Oh crap, it is!' I remember the horror overcoming me when I realized the woman bent over that couch was my mother, and the guy giving it to her was my father. I instantly pulled my pants back up and vomited."

Timmy's parents, "Captain Throbberson" and "Gina Jiggles," as they were credited in the film, believe that their son needs to grow up and get over it.

"Tim's mother and I are completely comfortable with our sexuality. I think our son's a little scared he might learn a move or two from his old man."

While his family seems to be in turmoil, Timmy admits that future family gatherings will probably be a little uncomfortable. "Call me crazy, but it's going to be pretty hard trying to enjoy a nice Thanksgiving dinner knowing that your parents have probably done it all up and down the dining room table!"

Published on: 03/24/2005

Weekly World News stole that from The Onion. Bastards.

(Or it could have been from WWN, and I'm just recalling it incorrectly.)

I believe I posted this here already some time ago. :p

Roflcopter!

I love WWN, but question its credibility.

Gotta love fake crap like that. Remember Bigfoot ate my car according to the WWN.

I love WWN, but question its credibility.
There's nothing to question, it's the absolute truth.

Gotta love fake crap like that. Remember Bigfoot ate my car according to the WWN.

That's funny! :fluffle:

But seriously, just imagine if you found out something like that about your parents :( That'd be horrible to me :(

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/sex/61270

TEEN HORRIFIED AFTER DOWNLOADING SKIN FLICK AND DISCOVERING...
MOM AND DAD ARE PORNO STARS!


By MATT KIRSCH

AN OHIO teen was severely traumatized after discovering the stars of a downloaded porno flick were none other than his own parents.

Timmy Shannon, 17, recalls the moment that scarred him for life. "I was like five minutes into this porno called Horny House Wives 4, when I thought to myself, 'Hey, that couch looks exactly like the one I'm sitting on. Oh crap, it is!' I remember the horror overcoming me when I realized the woman bent over that couch was my mother, and the guy giving it to her was my father. I instantly pulled my pants back up and vomited."

Timmy's parents, "Captain Throbberson" and "Gina Jiggles," as they were credited in the film, believe that their son needs to grow up and get over it.

"Tim's mother and I are completely comfortable with our sexuality. I think our son's a little scared he might learn a move or two from his old man."

While his family seems to be in turmoil, Timmy admits that future family gatherings will probably be a little uncomfortable. "Call me crazy, but it's going to be pretty hard trying to enjoy a nice Thanksgiving dinner knowing that your parents have probably done it all up and down the dining room table!"

Published on: 03/24/2005
I have several comments on this:

1. The parents showed a complete lack of concern for the possible impact on their son by allowing themselves to be portrayed on the Internet involved in an explicit video.

2. The son needs to realize that he wasn't the product of an immaculate conception and that older people love sex too.

3. The son should have kept his mouth shut about what he had discovered.

That's funny! :fluffle:

But seriously, just imagine if you found out something like that about your parents :( That'd be horrible to me :(


I know... I want to get liqoured up just thinking about it >_<

I have several comments on this:

1. The parents showed a complete lack of concern for the possible impact on their son by allowing themselves to be portrayed on the Internet involved in an explicit video.

2. The son needs to realize that he wasn't the product of an immaculate conception and that older people love sex too.

3. The son should have kept his mouth shut about what he had discovered.
I'm not sure what part of tabloid people don't get...

I have several comments on this:

1. The parents showed a complete lack of concern for the possible impact on their son by allowing themselves to be portrayed on the Internet involved in an explicit video.

2. The son needs to realize that he wasn't the product of an immaculate conception and that older people love sex too.

3. The son should have kept his mouth shut about what he had discovered.Eutrusca... I'm pretty sure that this source has exactly the same level of credibility as "The Onion". ...which is to say, none at all. :p

--The Jovial States of Cogitation

Eutrusca... I'm pretty sure that this source has exactly the same level of credibility as "The Onion". ...which is to say, none at all. :p

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
I'm sure you're correct. I just couldn't resist the opportunity to comment on that one. My most humble apologies, oh Great One! :D

*sigh*

And now you all know why I cant ever have children...

*sigh*

*sigh*

And now you all know why I cant ever have children...

*sigh*


meep :eek:

*sigh*

And now you all know why I cant ever have children...

*sigh*This information should be released on a need-to-know basis, only.

We don't need to know. :p :D

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

This information should be released on a need-to-know basis, only.

We don't need to know. :p :D

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester
Well, its too late now! You do!

as far as other information you dont need to know but soon will, Im going to take a shower... should I take pictures and post them here? :p

Eutrusca... I'm pretty sure that this source has exactly the same level of credibility as "The Onion". ...which is to say, none at all. :p

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
Bah, it's the most consistently reliable source of news anywhere.

Heh, reading the headline of WWN used to be the laugh of the week at the grocery store I used to work at.

"Hmmm, 'Ressurected Egyptian queen falls in love with 2 headed alien', fascinating."

oh god. this is so very unbearably awful!

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/sex/61270

TEEN HORRIFIED AFTER DOWNLOADING SKIN FLICK AND DISCOVERING...
MOM AND DAD ARE PORNO STARS!


By MATT KIRSCH

AN OHIO teen was severely traumatized after discovering the stars of a downloaded porno flick were none other than his own parents.

Timmy Shannon, 17, recalls the moment that scarred him for life. "I was like five minutes into this porno called Horny House Wives 4, when I thought to myself, 'Hey, that couch looks exactly like the one I'm sitting on. Oh crap, it is!' I remember the horror overcoming me when I realized the woman bent over that couch was my mother, and the guy giving it to her was my father. I instantly pulled my pants back up and vomited."

Timmy's parents, "Captain Throbberson" and "Gina Jiggles," as they were credited in the film, believe that their son needs to grow up and get over it.

"Tim's mother and I are completely comfortable with our sexuality. I think our son's a little scared he might learn a move or two from his old man."

While his family seems to be in turmoil, Timmy admits that future family gatherings will probably be a little uncomfortable. "Call me crazy, but it's going to be pretty hard trying to enjoy a nice Thanksgiving dinner knowing that your parents have probably done it all up and down the dining room table!"

Published on: 03/24/2005

LOL...Probably one of the best "news" stories I've ever read. Man, that kid'd have issues later in life 'cause of this. :)

One time I read a tabloid that said a woman gave birth to dodecatuplets(twelve babies, i'm not sure if this is the right word) and all twelve of them would fit in her hand at once...

Or that a woman gave birth to Elvis's lovechild in 1999...

"Call me crazy, but it's going to be pretty hard trying to enjoy a nice Thanksgiving dinner knowing that your parents have probably done it all up and down the dining room table!"

Published on: 03/24/2005
Hahahhaaa...ALL kids should assume that their parents have done this:)

I've sometimes thought what it would be like to know that your existence began on a porn set.

"The moment of my conception is titled Horny Teen Sluts 14, and is available on DVD."

That's funny! :fluffle:

But seriously, just imagine if you found out something like that about your parents :( That'd be horrible to me :(
I don't know, maybe they can get other people in the business to perform for a birthday party, bachelor party, etc.

I can completely understand what this boy was worried about. the key line is 'I pulled up my pants [Ahem...Trousers]'.

I would be sickened by the fact that I was doing the thing that it is not uncommon to do when one is watching porn, to my parents.

Hahahhaaa...ALL kids should assume that their parents have done this:)

Not only do I assume you and your husband have done this but I occasionally picture it during recreational activities.

Roflcopter!
http://img226.echo.cx/img226/6550/roflcopter2xz.png

http://img226.echo.cx/img226/6550/roflcopter2xz.png

This confuses and alarms me.

Hmm, next current event project in school, I'm using that one! :D

http://img226.echo.cx/img226/6550/roflcopter2xz.png
Gah, I had an animated GIF of it in motion at one point.

This confuses and alarms me.
It's from a fan made Rammstein music video. So awesome.

Also, I <3 WWN!

EDIT: Wait!

Teenager Horrified By Discovering Parents Are Porno Stars; Later Gets Over It And Joins Them

It was worse for me. My dad found a video of me fucking my mom, so he took revenge by filming himself fucking me in the ass, then I got them both back by fucking the dog in the front yard during the block party.

What a stupid story. But funny. His, not mine. Mine was hella lame.

Eutrusca... I'm pretty sure that this source has exactly the same level of credibility as "The Onion". ...which is to say, none at all. :p

--The Jovial States of CogitationAlso, according to the Weekly World News, a certain man is so fat that he has moons orbiting him:
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/science/61494

LOL But really, that sure beats talking to the kid about the birds and the bees.

"ok son, watch this and you'll understand..."

talk about the ultimate walking-in-on-your-parents experience

*she reads the article and falls over, laughing uncontrollably*

talk about the ultimate walking-in-on-your-parents experiencenah, the Ultimate would involve leather whips, chains and a pony. :D

That is so gross and the fact that it said he had his pants down. blluuu. thats nasty, think you getin it on with yourself and you find out that it's your parents your watchin. that would, just like totally freak me out. And it's your parents come on. i dont even want to think about that. my parents are old thinkin about them getin their freak on that's just wrong.

For those who STILL don't get it, it's from the World Weekly News. Last week they claimed that 10 new Commandments were found.

For those who STILL don't get it, it's from the World Weekly News. Last week they claimed that 10 new Commandments were found.
*hugs UPL*
Its ok, sometimes people want to beleive something so bad they just make it so.

By the way - wicked name. ;)

Also, according to the Weekly World News, a certain man is so fat that he has moons orbiting him:
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/science/61494
I HAVE A GLAND PROBLEM, OKAY?! ;)

and this is a great example of why you shouldn't post when overtired.

The Primal Scene but 4 real! That was strangely dementedly amusing.