NationStates Jolt Archive

I came up with this idea while posting in the "Just Give Us Alaska" thread by Sinuhue.

Title: American Civil War2:The South Really Will Rise Again*
Genre:Horror/Romantic Comedy/Musical
Producer: Me
Directors: Stephen Spielberg, Quentin Tarrantino, and James Cameron
Cast:
Woody Allen-Damien
Danny Devito-Lou
Will Smith-Dr. Robozombicus
Christopher Walken-Rev. Malazar Blackfyre
George Carlin-Amelie
Litefoot(G. Paul Davis)-Soaring Eagle
Lucy Liu-Esmerelda
Supporting Cast:
Mariah Carey-The President
Adam Sandler-The Vice President
Arnold Schwarzenegger-Emperorator of Canada(story of how told via flashbacks-has to do with Damien and Lou)
Ben Afflek-Zombie 1(uncredited)
Jennifer Lopez-Singing Zombie 2(uncredited)
Clay Aiken-SingingZombie 3(uncredited)
Ian McKellan-Gandalf The Wizard(commentary)
Uma Thurman-The Wife(commentary)
Ryan Seacrest-Dead bodies 1, 27, 94(uncredited)
Synopsis:
It centers around a plot for world domination. An evil, former Catholic Priest-exorcist(Walken) and an evil genius(Smith) meet and fall in love(becoming life partners) and then pool their collective scientific and black magic resources to begin raising an army of zombies outfitted with robotic technology. They begin planning to overthrow the world governments, after a very violent and bloody Civil War to take over America(as a show of power). The government, in a last ditch effort to save the world brings in a highly-trained team of heroes:

Damien Polansky(Allen): a retired mime with a shady past
His mad mime-y skillz(yes with a z) block the zombies mind-controlling powers.

Esmerelda "Tawny" Chen(Liu): Profesional Dominatrix
Her spiked collar, whip, and chains are for more than just kink.

Lou Smith(DeVito): Garbage Man/Contact Zombie Slayer
He remembers the terrors of the first war with zombies.

Amelie "Big Mama" Jackson(Carlin): Vodoun mambo
This sassy senior citizen still has some ass-kick left in her.

Soaring Eagle Jones(Litefoot): Native American shaman
Ostracized from his tribe for thinking reservation life was acceptable.

The catchy heart-warming melodies, the eye-popping special effects, the frustrating sexual tension, and the 14 hour non-stop action adventure really makes this movie shine over all the others. It really raises the bar for future movies, and puts to shame all the crap out of Hollywood these days.


Advance seating available. Call you local theater for information today.
*script forthcoming...maybe..we might wing-it...it'll probably be just as good.

*calls up local theatre, gets cursed out*

Dammit.

*tries again tommorrow*

Must be a popular film. :(

I don't think a movie gives you enough freedom for such an epic masterpiece. Go part movie/part live-action play. Sure it cuts down on the number of people who can see it at any given time because you can only be showing it one place, but do it in a football stadium or something and get 50k+ a pop. And if the actors tell you they need to rest every now and then, they're lying. They also don't need to be paid, they have enough money. And you don't need to feed them, either.

EDIT: You also need lasers. Lots and lots of lasers.

It'll never work. They'll never be able to get Carlin to shave off the beard. :D

sounds like the best movie ever! i'd like to invest money into the production of this movie and my sister to play the part of a zombie (i've always wanted to see her purged)

I don't think a movie gives you enough freedom for such an epic masterpiece. Go part movie/part live-action play. Sure it cuts down on the number of people who can see it at any given time because you can only be showing it one place, but do it in a football stadium or something and get 50k+ a pop. And if the actors tell you they need to rest every now and then, they're lying. They also don't need to be paid, they have enough money. And you don't need to feed them, either.

EDIT: You also need lasers. Lots and lots of lasers.

The zombies have lasers.

I know, actors are robots.

I was thinking of it having it's own sitcom/all platform videogame/boardgame/all kinds of memorabilia.

BTW:Who says Carlin has to shave his beard...so what if he's playing an old black woman.

sounds like the best movie ever! i'd like to invest money into the production of this movie and my sister to play the part of a zombie (i've always wanted to see her purged)

Sorry, the zombie spots are taken, but I do have a some spaces open next to Ryan Seacrest as a dead body...nobody seems to go for this..go figure :rolleyes:

Sorry, the zombie spots are taken, but I do have a some spaces open next to Ryan Seacrest as a dead body...nobody seems to go for this..go figure :rolleyes:
i'll take it, do you want her pre-killed or would you like to do it yourself or shall i just post her and see what happens?

i'll take it, do you want her pre-killed or would you like to do it yourself or shall i just post her and see what happens?

Whatever's easiest I guess. I didn't have to think about it with Ryan. Everyone just assumes by his personality that he's dead already.

Don't forget a comic book! You need a comic book version and trading cards, action figures, underwear and a radio drama. Also, have you considered having the moon impact the Earth at some point? Not in the movie, as a marketing gimmick. You put "The South Really Will Rise Again" on the moon in giant letters, and then you put rockets on the back and send it hurling towards Earth. Pure ... marketing ... GOLD.

why isn't vin diesel in the cast???

WHY!!!!!!!

why isn't vin diesel in the cast???

WHY!!!!!!!

Vin was cast as Singing and Dancing zombie couple(alongside Michelle Kwan), but he backed out at the last minute, and will have special portions devoted to him in the deleted scenes and bloopers sections.

Don't forget a comic book! You need a comic book version and trading cards, action figures, underwear and a radio drama. Also, have you considered having the moon impact the Earth at some point? Not in the movie, as a marketing gimmick. You put "The South Really Will Rise Again" on the moon in giant letters, and then you put rockets on the back and send it hurling towards Earth. Pure ... marketing ... GOLD.

We thought of all that. The comic is going to hit shelves about three months after the movie, to keep the media on the story. This'll cause DVD and video sales to shoot through the roof...

NASA put a stop to the moon idea though. Something like blah blah blah global catastrophe blah blah end of huiman existance, but all I heard was "We're jealous of you and are taking from your profits"....greedy NASA bastards.

Do you still have Kwan? Surely it's not too late to replace Diesel with The Rock, it would work. If The Rock can not be bought get Hulk Hogan, or the Hulk, whichever.

why isn't vin diesel in the cast???

WHY!!!!!!!

Yeah, especially since it would be easy to raise funds, what with his cholesterol being exactly correlative with the NASDAQ. Just invest, feed him lots of butter and chili cheese fries, and reap the profits!

Do you still have Kwan? Surely it's not too late to replace Diesel with The Rock, it would work. If The Rock can not be bought get Hulk Hogan, or the Hulk, whichever.

Actually, we're gonna bring in all the Olympic medalists as zombies. Except for those idiot trampoline guys...that's not a real athletic event, just a pathetic attempt to boost trampoline sales

I like the Olympic medalists idea, but you need to take it further. Make it the Olympic medalists ... from 1932, it will give most of them that authentic rotting flesh and odor. Remember, one should never skimp costs at the expense of accuracy.

I like the Olympic medalists idea, but you need to take it further. Make it the Olympic medalists ... from 1932, it will give most of them that authentic rotting flesh and odor. Remember, one should never skimp costs at the expense of accuracy.

Quentin, James, and I all like that idea, but Steven's holding out on us...I may have to get rid of him, if someone can recommend a good replacement.

Francis Ford Coppola could take Speilberg's place, perhaps John Howard, Peter Jackson could do and he does have zombie experience, maybe Roman Polanski. Those seem like four fairly solid choices to me, and one must never forget Martin Scorsese either. There we go, five good, solid choices.

Francis Ford Coppola could take Speilberg's place, perhaps John Howard, Peter Jackson could do and he does have zombie experience, maybe Roman Polanski. Those seem like four fairly solid choices to me, and one must never forget Martin Scorsese either. There we go, five good, solid choices.

Screw picking, I'll take them all. This movie now has...seven directors.

Vernaher, you may well have the making of an assistant, dare I say co-, producer.

It's like some weird, disturbing dream come true. For too long the establishment has held me back, pulled me down. Now, on this amazing work of yours, I have my chance to shine. We'll see who laughes the last laugh then! HA HA HA HAH HAH HAHAHA! On a side note, will I be paid?

It's like some weird, disturbing dream come true. For too long the establishment has held me back, pulled me down. Now, on this amazing work of yours, I have my chance to shine. We'll see who laughes the last laugh then! HA HA HA HAH HAH HAHAHA! On a side note, will I be paid?

All depends on how you use your creative "gift" to make my...I mean our...movie shine as you said.