NationStates Jolt Archive

As many of you know, I have been struck in the groin a lot in my lifetime. Probably much more than average.

This has happened for several reasons. Most notably:
I tend to strike a lot of groins.
I have a sense of humor about such things which leads to more groin strikes.
I spend a lot of time with friends who are as cruel as I am.
I have a reputation for being indestructible.

Well, a friend asked me exactly how many times I have been struck in the groin. Well, I can't remember them all! Isn't that disturbing? Most of us remember each incident with stunning clarity. Not me. There are too many!

So I've spent a considerable part of my day compiling a master list of how many times my testicles have been kicked, kneed, punched, squeezed or otherwise traumatized.

ANybody care to offer any guesses?

As many of you know, I have been struck in the groin a lot in my lifetime. Probably much more than average.

This has happened for several reasons. Most notably:
I tend to strike a lot of groins.
I have a sense of humor about such things which leads to more groin strikes.
I spend a lot of time with friends who are as cruel as I am.
I have a reputation for being indestructible.

Well, a friend asked me exactly how many times I have been struck in the groin. Well, I can't remember them all! Isn't that disturbing? Most of us remember each incident with stunning clarity. Not me. There are too many!

So I've spent a considerable part of my day compiling a master list of how many times my testicles have been kicked, kneed, punched, squeezed or otherwise traumatized.

ANybody care to offer any guesses?hmmm... at least... 56 times?

or are you only counting times you didn't have to shell out cash for it.

hmmm... at least... 56 times?

or are you only counting times you didn't have to shell out cash for it.

I was going to say, "No cash has ever changed hands" but that isn't exactly true. I once won $500 on a bet that I could take three kicks to the groin from a blackbelt and stay standing.

But let me clarify that I in no way find this erotic(at least not in and of itself). I just find it very funny. Typically the first think I do between gasps for air as I am rolling on the ground is chuckle at my plight. It can really suck sometimes having an objective view of youreself and your own absurdity.

I was going to say, "No cash has ever changed hands" but that isn't exactly true. I once won $500 on a bet that I could take three kicks to the groin from a blackbelt and stay standing.

But let me clarify that I in no way find this erotic(at least not in and of itself). I just find it very funny. Typically the first think I do between gasps for air as I am rolling on the ground is chuckle at my plight. It can really suck sometimes having an objective view of youreself and your own absurdity.

You're either a masochist, insane, or have no sense of pain. My gods, man, but you're...*gesticulates, as there's no word to adequately describe you*

You're either a masochist, insane, or have no sense of pain. My gods, man, but you're...*gesticulates, as there's no word to adequately describe you*

Could it be a combination of these?

I was going to say, "No cash has ever changed hands" but that isn't exactly true. I once won $500 on a bet that I could take three kicks to the groin from a blackbelt and stay standing.

But let me clarify that I in no way find this erotic(at least not in and of itself). I just find it very funny. Typically the first think I do between gasps for air as I am rolling on the ground is chuckle at my plight. It can really suck sometimes having an objective view of youreself and your own absurdity.
ok... but then my comment was about you paying for it... so if you never did, is my guess right? 56 times?

ok... but then my comment was about you paying for it... so if you never did, is my guess right? 56 times?

No. That number is a bit low.

I've never been kicked in the groin.

Could it be a combination of these?

Yes, it very well could be. Me, I'm a sadomasochist, am not so sane, and can shut off pain to a very high degree..but..owwy.

I've never been kicked in the groin.

You're very lucky.

I've been kicked at least a couple dozen times.

As for you, LG...How about..73?

i am usually the giver, not the receiver. And never on purpose.

Edit: i thought it would only be fair to add that i can't stop laughing when it happens. i know i shouldn't, but i can't help myself.

You're very lucky.
Well I'm a girl so it would be a little odd.
i am usually the giver, not the receiver. And never on purpose.
Same here. On purpose some of the time.

Well I'm a girl so it would be a little odd.
*snip*

Not really..I'm told it hurts a lot for girls, as well.

As many of you know, I have been struck in the groin a lot in my lifetime. Probably much more than average.
<snip>I think I'm going to petition the Mods to DEAT you and force you to come back with the name "Lunatic CrushedBalls" :p

More than 73. :eek:

I'm gonna take a stab at it, maybe ... 82?

No. That number is a bit low. :eek:

Lunatic Crushedballs nuthing... it should be Lunatics PowderedNuts.

Not planning on any children of your own right?


gonna guess 86

and it should be that if it's wrong, just say wrong... keep the spammers from posting every number from 1 to 9999

Well I'm a girl so it would be a little odd.
Pah! And women bitch about child birth, they will never know what being kicked in the nuts feels like. The pain is actually more in your mind than anything else. I've been hit there a fair few times, and the worst part is always the ego blow, not the actual pain.

Pah! And women bitch about child birth, they will never know what being kicked in the nuts feels like. The pain is actually more in your mind than anything else. I've been hit there a fair few times, and the worst part is always the ego blow, not the actual pain.really... for me, it always causes my eyes to water, shortness of breath and a feeling of pain... real pain that spreads to my knees and up to my stomach...

I guess size does matter. :p

Wow...I've probably only been hit in the groin about 10 times at the most.

LG, you've more than doubled your respect from me ;)

My guess is 113.

Wow...I've probably only been hit in the groin about 10 times at the most.

LG, you've more than doubled your respect from me ;)

My guess is 113.
Is that how people get your respect?

*grabs hammer.*

Ok, who wants haloman to respect you more! :D

Do not talk about child birth. I will say it must hurt like hell, but please, it<s not like the level of pain lasts for hours on end...

I guess... erm... 167.

Is that how people get your respect?

*grabs hammer.*

Ok, who wants haloman to respect you more! :D

LOL...any man that can have his family jewels smashed that many times and still talk about it like it's nothing has more balls than any of us.

Uhh...figuritively speaking...

:eek:

Lunatic Crushedballs nuthing... it should be Lunatics PowderedNuts.

Not planning on any children of your own right?


gonna guess 86

and it should be that if it's wrong, just say wrong... keep the spammers from posting every number from 1 to 9999

Much to my shock and delight, I had a kid. :)

167 is too high.

At least, so far. I'm still trying to remember them all.

Is that how people get your respect?

*grabs hammer.*

Ok, who wants haloman to respect you more! :D

Never got hit with a hammer. Twice with a rubber mallet, though. :(

how about 139?
sounds like a nice number for it
it also helps that it's a prime - i like primes

Do not talk about child birth. I will say it must hurt like hell, but please, it<s not like the level of pain lasts for hours on end...

I guess... erm... 167.


I had gall bladder attacks that lasted hours several times a week until I had the nasty thing removed. It was one of the worst pains I've ever endured.

Is that how people get your respect?

*grabs hammer.*

Ok, who wants haloman to respect you more! :D
out of meanness, i'm going to suggest that you provide haloman with some self-respect, i'm also suggesting it because it sounds funny (yes, i do have a sick, twisted mind (which i keep in a jar on my bestand))

how about 139?
sounds like a nice number for it
it also helps that it's a prime - i like primes

Close enough. 137. I haven't added any more for a while.

Breakdown:

22 punches
19 knees
33 kicks
28 strikes with objects
17 pole rackings(being picked up and run into a pole groin-first.)
19 other. (painful wrestling maneuvers, squeezing, kicked by a cow, etc.)

Edit: eek. Make that 138. (rare math mistake)

Close enough. 137. I haven't added any more for a while.

Breakdown:

22 punches
19 knees
33 kicks
28 strikes with objects
17 pole rackings(being picked up and run into a pole groin-first.)
19 other. (painful wrestling maneuvers, squeezing, kicked by a cow, etc.)

Excuse me,

KICKED BY A COW?

Stories. Now.

w00t, i nearly got it (the answer was the nearest prime) <jumps up and down saying "we am da best">
kicked by a cow? how? why? ow!

Excuse me,

KICKED BY A COW?

Stories. Now.

Not much to tell. I worked on a dairy farm and cows are a lot ornerier and stubborn than people give them credit for. I hate cows. :mad: I was maneuvering a cow into position to be milked and as I shoved against it's flank, it kicked me in the balls. Two other kids and the farmer just laughed as I writhed on the ground for about ten minutes. :(

It does hurt for girls, but you have to do it pretty hard. This girl was wearing boots, and I kicked her in the knee. She did that, and she pretty much won that one. It was playfighting anyway. But if it was real fighting, she could have taken me. She didn't do any harm, I don't think.

The closest thing a girl can feel to being kicked in the balls is if someone (accidently) hits her ovaries.

Size does matter! :p

Not really..I'm told it hurts a lot for girls, as well.

Oh yes, it does. It definitely, definitely does. *winces just from the memory*

I remember being kicked there when I was about 12. Didn't hurt very much.

I remember being kicked there when I was about 12. Didn't hurt very much.

Well, you were twelve. Much less target area back then. :p

But sometimes, it doesn't hurt much.

Groin strikes are odd that way. You could be hit in the pills on two different occasions in almost the exact same way, almost the exact same force and one of them will barely make you bend over while the other will drop you to the ground and put you out of commission for twenty minutes.

Of course, few people have the basis for comparison that I do. :cool:

Well, you were twelve. Much less target area back then. :p

But sometimes, it doesn't hurt much.

Groin strikes are odd that way. You could be hit in the pills on two different occasions in almost the exact same way, almost the exact same force and one of them will barely make you bend over while the other will drop you to the ground and put you out of commission for twenty minutes.

Of course, few people have the basis for comparison that I do. :cool:

I have found, and I must admit to sharing a sense of humour regarding the Nut Shot...that the most painful one is "The Graze".

A direct shot is painful indeed, and takes you to the ground instantly..but goes away quickly.

The worst one..is when the foot..fist...whatever..just barely grazes your bag, and you have about 10 to 60 seconds of very minor discomfort before the crushing wave of pain and nausea.

Those ones are evil.

A quick question.


Are you restricting your answer to when OTHERS have nailed your boys? Or are you including self-abuse?




And besides, if you think getting a shot to the knob is anything to worry about - wait until you get your first fucking kidney stone.

Legs pointed this out to me...

This is what happens when you get LG into the Army...

http://www.spikedhumor.com/Article.aspx?id=13

Ow.... :eek:

Close enough. 137. I haven't added any more for a while.

Breakdown:

22 punches
19 knees
33 kicks
28 strikes with objects
17 pole rackings(being picked up and run into a pole groin-first.)
19 other. (painful wrestling maneuvers, squeezing, kicked by a cow, etc.)

Edit: eek. Make that 138. (rare math mistake)Ow.... ow... ow... ow....

So much abuse....

12???? That's a lot.

I guess 138. :D :D

I've not had to deal too much with being struck in the groin, although I've performed several such maneuvers myself. When you're cornered by a burglar, the best place to kick him is in the genitals. He falls to the ground writhing in pain. It almost always works.

And when it doesn't...well...you're in trouble. :)

A quick question.


Are you restricting your answer to when OTHERS have nailed your boys? Or are you including self-abuse?




And besides, if you think getting a shot to the knob is anything to worry about - wait until you get your first fucking kidney stone.

I'm including accidental busts from inanimate objects(like falling on the crossbars of a bicycle). I don't recall ever deliberately striking myself in the groin.