NationStates Jolt Archive

got the idea from another thread...

We're going to write the new age bible in language everyone can understand. Now remember, you must channel God in order to do this. Everyone gets to add as many passages as they wish.


Start.

Footnote: Any and all decrees from God taken from this text can be enforced or disregarded entirely at the whim of the religious establishment and do not have to make any kind of sense or be taken in the actual context of this Bible. Have a nice day.

:)

1:1

"Like Dude", said God, "I'm like so totally bored, I think i will create some entertainment by starting new life forms which I hope will one day give me meaningful companionship"

1:2

Later... a miracle happened (http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8305836/?GT1=6657)

The End

1:3
"Dude," God said, "I'm mad high right now."

1:4
Satan, as annoying as ever, said "That's because you're in Heaven. Idiot."

1:5
God was pissed. "Straight to Hell until you stop being so fucking literal."

2:1
After the end came the middle, or so it is thought; according to recent translations from God's 3rd grade science book.
before the miracluous salvation of the little girl by lions, God as God knew God's self became aware of the existence of Everything in a instant called, God-became-aware-of-the-existence-of-Everything. this moment is also when the Godhead-Ego of God dropped of and there was only the blissful realization that God and Everything were one. that indeed God was Buddha as well as ramakrishna, krishnamurti,martin luther king jr, hitler, jong-il, abraham, loa Tzu, and the trees air and all the Everything.
2:2
shortly thereafter; a few God years or seconds,,, (the texts are unclear), God ascended to the infinite realm where God then became self aware of God's non-existence; for God was and is and "from all moments beyond the grasp of time" completely identified with nothingness and the Everything in a spark of grand and great divine ecstacy.
2:3
from this point on, God now knew all that is known through the Unknowing and The nonbeing in side some sort of complex interbeing that is not yet fully understood.

sometime these chapters get mixed up. im sure there is a lot more in chapter one. I just decided to go straight to chapter two

sometime these chapters get mixed up. im sure there is a lot more in chapter one. I just decided to go straight to chapter two
Fair enough.

New Testament!

The Gospel of Poliwanacraca

1:1 So, one day this woman had a baby. And, lo, an angel came unto her and said, "That baby is cute. You should call him Steve, for he shall grow up to look kinda like a Steve."

1:2 So she did.

1:3 And it was good, because Steve did indeed look kinda like a Steve.

2:1 Steve grew up, and did good things. Like, fed hungry people, and respected everyone, and was nice to little kids. Sometimes he gave his mother presents. He was a really neat-o guy.

2:2 One day, Steve said unto the people around him, "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if I founded a religion suggesting that people should be nice, like me?"

2:3 And the people said unto Steve, "Yea, that would be mad phat cool. We'd join."

2:4 So Steve said, "Goody! Okay, the first rules of the religion are that you should be loving and kind and forgiving to everyone, and not persecute people who disagree with you, and go out of your way to help others."

3:1 And the people said unto each other, "Dude. Like, that might require actual effort or sacrifice on our part. Let's not and say we did!"

3:2 So they killed him.

3:3 I was sad, 'cause I liked Steve.

3:4 I think I'll go have some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream now, because lo, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream is tasty.

Here ends the Gospel of Poliwanacraca.

the later chapters,,,,

after the many years the people came to question the real meaning of the life of steve and whether or not the first 280 chapters were really divinly inspired.
a great bout of bindge drinking soon followed.

from then out.. everything ethics, morals, religion... was ruled by the stock market. after a few years, the people were at ease and felt a comfortable amount of emotional deadness.
steve came to visit one day, since he accidentally discovered a miracle-life-giving combo of taco bell hotsauces and cheese and had been living in an indescript part of asia, and he said...
(and thats where a page of text is missing)
(next page)
and after that everyone looked at each other and decided that they too were identified in the Oneness with steve and ascended into the highest heavens in their own souls and minds were the interest rate on CD's and mney markets were infinite and the interest rates on loans approached zero.

thus began a time called , the good years.
which was abruptly ended by invading space pirates.
and we all know the rest so theres no point recording the later history of the world...

never again.

The Book of Genesis

3:1 So then God went off to the multiversal store and bought a package of clay from which to make stuff.

3:2 He took it home and started experimenting.

3:3 God had a lot of fun creating all kinds of creatures and tossing them onto different planets, then watching them come alive.

3:4 Suddenly God realized He had created too many creatures, and said, "Oh me. I have to get rid of some of these."

3:5 But God got DEATed by the mods because killing creatures is flaming, and not allowed.

The End. :D

4.1 There was this guy Noah, and one day he was walking in the mountains and saw a burning bush, which spoke with the volume of a thousand really loud things.

4.2 Or maybe it was a dream, doesn't matter which, you can always have a holy war and some sectarian genocide later to clear this bit up.

4.3 So anyway this voice says "Dude, God's totally pissed, because all the people do is drink alcohol, steal, lie, fornicate, etc in that kind of order."

4.4 They didn't have Reality TV in those days, but you can see why all that would get old.

4.5 Anyway, the voice continued "You people are boring, you people suck, so God's going to spice it up by bringing lots of rain and a great flood, and you have to build a boat and save some people. Like, a Survivor thing. Audition them yourself, make sure they're interesting."

4.6 The voice added, "And make sure there's a pair of each variety, opposite sexes, because you know how the Old Man likes that sort of thing."

4.7 So Noah set about building the boat. No-one believed him because some guy in a nearby town had tried the same and it was an expensive flop, so people were understandably unwilling to invest.

4.8 But he did manage it, and when the rain came, got an opposite-sex pair of each animal onto the boat, and a bunch of town people. Some turned out to be gay, which kinda spoiled the whole thing.

4.9 One day the rain stopped, and the water receeded (somewhere) and the boat came to rest on the peak of a mountain. And Noah got to remake civilisation in a way that God found more amusing.

In the beginning, there was inconsistency. And God was inconsistency. And the inconsistency was with God. And God created inconsistency in his own likeness. And he saw that it was not that good at all and decided to leave things to Big Bang. :D

[Excerpted from]

5:4 And Joseph begat Isaiah begat Jonathan begat Nehemiah begat Shime'on begat Israel...

5:5 And God got pissed at them for having all those children and decreed that nothing should be written about them whatsoever, except maybe their names.

5:6 So finally one of them named Moses said to God, "Look, dude, this isn't good! You aren't letting me write about all the good stuff I'm doing!"

5:7 And God said, "You're getting me really pissed at you! I decree that your children will have to suffer slavery for many generations in Egypt and then wander in the desert for forty years!"

5:8 Back then they didn't have NationStates so they didn't have anything interesting to do in the desert, and they were very sad.

5:9 But God was a good sort so he eventually made up with them and let them live in the land of milk and honey for a while.

5:10 Unfortunately, Moses was lactose intolerant and didn't like honey, so he died.

1:1 God created everything, somehow.
1:2 However they came about, humans were made in the image of God.
1:3 Humans disobeyed God and screwed up a good deal.

2:1 God chose Abraham and his descendants to be His chosen people. They eventually become known as Hebrews or Jews.
2:2 The Jews go through various tribulations throughout history. Over which time they are given some very basic laws.
2:3 Jews distort said laws and their religious elite essentially become judgmental hypocrites (sound familiar?).
2:4 God gets angry at his chosen people. He lets the Romans conquer them.

3:1 God comes to Earth in the form of the man Jesus Christ, born of the virgin Marry.
3:2 Jesus lives a perfect life for about thirty years, following God’s law perfectly.
3:3 Jesus starts preaching a new law of forgiveness, kindness and charity.
3:4 Jesus says that the only way to the Father (God in Heaven) is through him, the Son (God on Earth).
3:5 Jesus challenges religious elite. He says they are hypocrites and have forked tongues.
3:6 Religious elite collaborate with Romans and have Jesus crucified.
3:7 Jesus rises from the grave three days later, announcing that He has died for humanity’s sins. All they need do is except His free gift of salvation.
3:8 Jesus ascends to Heaven.
3:9 Holy Spirit replaces Jesus as the part of God on Earth.

4:1 Christ’s followers start communes and begin to spread the truth throughout the world.
4:2 Saul changes his name to Paul and converts to The Way (then the word for those who followed Christ’s teachings),
4:3 Paul makes his way to Rome where the locals throw him in jail.
4:4 While in jail, Paul writes divinely inspired letters to the congregations he has started throughout the Mediterranean. Forming basic Christian doctrine.
4:5 Divinely inspired, John expands on Christ’s prophesies of an ending to the world as we know it.

The end is near, but that just means there will be another beginning.


also:

“Bias and impartiality is in the eye of the beholder.”

-- Lord Barnett

According to Andrew Schneider, the radical difference between
personality awareness and soul consciousness is a difference in perspectives.
Acquiring a soul perspective allows us to see things differently – and we
always see a more inclusive, universal picture. This expanded view adds
to an understanding, enjoyment and appreciation of life.

If I insist on hanging on to a personality perspective that is contrary
to a soul perspective, the two perspectives will clash. This challenges
me to find a way through to a deeper truth than I previously knew. This
kind of tension between soul and personality positions is typical of
the prelude to transformation that is a vital part of the soul journey.

“I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my eyes and all is
born again.”

-- Sylvia Plath

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And with that God said that homosexuality is not a sin. In fact God wants you all to know that sin doesn't really exist and the only thing you really need to be saved from is yourself. Your only true enemy is yourself and you should know your enemy if you want to overcome it.

The lost letter
~~~~~~~~~

You are the master of your own destiny. You and you alone shape and mould the world you live in. If this were not true, you would be a mere mortal controlled by the external world, like a feather in the wind, blown this way and that way. But this is not the case. You are the master of your own ship. When you realize this, you will never blame another, because not only are you the master of your own destiny, you are the master of your own emotions. There is no one inside of you, to control you, except you. But you must realize this, because this realization is the first step in self liberation. Isn’t this liberating? To realize that you never have to blame another again. You can move forward now, in complete confidence. Remember this….what you focus on expands, so start focusing on where you want to be, instead of blaming the world for where you are, because whatever you focus on will eventually engulf you. The goal of the spiritual path is simple. It is to awaken out of the illusory world of the thinking human mind into the truth and reality of life lived in the present moment. The world of the mind is a world of the remembered past and imagined future. It is a world of illusion and yet almost every one on this planet believes this illusory world to be the truth of life.

The simple truth is that there is no life outside of the present moment. It is impossible to live life outside of the present moment. We must come to terms with this simple truth.

The illusion that we need to awaken from is the world of the thinking mind, which includes all our spiritual knowledge and concepts.

Even the spiritual path will ultimately prove to be an illusion.

Just focus on what is here now. If you can see it, hear it, feel it, taste it or smell it, you can focus on it. To focus on that which is actually here now (present) with you will bring you into the truth of life.

The tree or the flower in front of you has more power to bring you present than all the books in the world and all the teachers who have ever existed. All you have to do is bring yourself present with that which is present.

The spiritual substance from which comes all visible wealth is never depleted. It is right with you all the time and responds to your faith in it and your demands on it.

It is not affected by our ignorant talk of hard times, though we are affected because our thoughts and words govern our demonstration.

The unfailing resource is always ready to give. It has no choice in the matter; it must give, for that is its nature.

Pour your living words of faith into the omnipresent substance, and you will be prospered though all the banks in the world close their doors.

Turn the great energy of your thinking toward "plenty" ideas, and you will have plenty, regardless of what men and woman around you are saying or doing.

The Four Agreements
written by Don Miguel Ruiz:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

<fit in where deemed appropriate> One day, when God was terribly bored, He ran across a gigantic pile of fluff, twice the size of the earth. He found the fluff highly amusing, and decided to throw himself onto the pile of fluff and roll around, giggling, for the rest of the day. For five more days, He returned and did the same thing over and over again. What God didn't realize, was that each time He did so, He got increasingly more fluffy.

At the end of the last of the six days of rolling around in fluff, He was so fluffy; so incredibly fluffy that He found himself unable to do anything at all because of His, now severely loosened, consistence. He could not even get away from the pile of severely fluffalizing fluff, and kept being fluffalized until He was so loose and airy that no one could even notice his presence anymore. Many years passed, and God was kept in His severely fluffalized state, unable to do anything.

One day, one man discovered a method of defluffalization. The man used this method extensively, unknowing of the fact that he was, in fact, defluffalizing God as well. When God became defluffalized enough, he let his raging fury sweep over the earth, killing some innocent microorganisms that were unable to withstand his still severely weakened powers.

And on the 2nd page there was silence

And now I say unto you dudes. Eat drink and Do marry.
Dutricus chapter 3 verse 5

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid169/p178d7c2031cd0c00bd8e6e678abaeea7/f40a8535.jpg

Do not take the beauty around you for granted. Pay attention to everything. When you're outside, look up at the trees. Notice how new leaves grow each day. Watch as the flowers pop up through the dirt, then watch as they bloom. Check out the sunrise or the sunset. Embrace the beauty of nature. And remember, the beauty you're seeing in all of these things is a reflection of the beauty within yourself. You are beautiful! Give yourself permission to acknowledge that!

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y160/LotusGoddess/PurpleYellowLotus.jpg

Well ... guess I'll rehash the old history thing I did in MS Paint a while back ... pictures speak a thousand words ...

http://www.unlc.biz/history/garden.JPG
http://www.unlc.biz/history/kickedout.JPG
http://www.unlc.biz/history/peoplego.JPG
http://www.unlc.biz/history/sermon.JPG
http://www.unlc.biz/history/war.JPG
http://www.unlc.biz/history/zionista.JPG
http://www.unlc.biz/history/islam.JPG
http://www.unlc.biz/history/palestine.JPG
http://www.unlc.biz/history/future.JPG

There.

"New Age": A term invented in the 1970's to describe "anyone with ideas you consider to be odd-ball".

The only true path to enlightenment is seeing that there is no one true path, merely a life that should be lived to the full.

"New Age": A term invented in the 1970's to describe "anyone with ideas you consider to be odd-ball".

Maybe I should have called it "The Newest Testament"

The Gospel of Nyibbit (Second book of the New Testament)
1:1 So, yeah, Steve was like this dude I knew. Yeah, he was pretty cool.
1:2 He was a nice guy, overall. A bit, like, stoned all the time, you know. Said he was son of, like, this dude in the sky? Yeah, it was so totally weird.
1:3 But he helped old ladies, and stuff, so I guess it was alright. He started this religion, to make everyone nice, like him, y'know? So we were all like
1:4 Yeah, sure, Steve, we'll follow your weird religion thing.
1:5 And he was like,
1:6 Totally cool, dudes. So, the first thing you gotta do is be nice to other people.
1:7 And we were like, yeah, we can dig that
1:8 And then he doth proclaim,
1:9 And give up your material possessions too, and live a life of, like, holiness, and obeying Steve's Dad, cos Steve's dad is pretty important, I think he's like this king or something
1:10 So we were like, woah there, no way. What, even the dope? Uh uh. Not likely.

2:1 And then Steve said, well then, you won't be able to stay at my Dad's crib when you die.
2:2 So we were like, yeah, whatever, cos we knew we'd be staying in the graveyard, know what I mean?
2:3 But he said that our, like spirits would go somewhere hot and nasty
2:4 And I thought that was a bit steep, cos I peel in the sun and I hate mozzies.
2:5 So now we were getting a bit pissed, and so we tried to chase after him, cos we were stoned, but he like ran across the water, or it might have been a bad trip, but it looked like it.
2:6 And the really weird thing was afterwards the water was like, totally alcoholic. So we got rat-arsed on that for a while
2:7 And then we killed him
2:8 Yeah, I kinda regret it, cos he was the Messiah, innit, but he was well out of order trying to get us to give up our dope.

So ends the Gospel of Nyibbit

God just phoned me up to ask me to explain to all of you about Church. Don't go, it's a huge waste of time. Getting together with people to talk about God is fine (although not necessary to be spiritually fulfilled) but don't make a religion out of your ideas about God. Just have your ideas and let others have theirs. Disagreements are also fine to have but know this: all "truths" have counterparts. ALso take the words in this bible as sign posts to God and not as something to be followed diligently. Words cannot take you anywhere, but you can take yoruself whereever you wish. Now God didn't say this all in words so I may be misinterpreting the knowledge gained from Gods call.

My Bible:

"In the beginning there wasn't God. Loads of other crazy shit didn't happen either. I woulda thought that was obvious, but seems some people just don't get it."

There are those who don't wish to believe as others do and that is okay - So sayeth the Lord. At least some people don't feel the need to try to validate their own beliefs by putting others down, so sayeth the Sumamba Buwhan. :fluffle:

I found this on the internets and thought "hey, what the heck I'll put it in the Bible since it claims to be Holy". Who's Christ Micheal anyway?


Tallahassee, Florida, US of A, October 28, 1993.
Mantouba Melchizedek.
Machiventa Melchizedek.
Subjects: “The Woodcarver.”
“Message from Christ Michael.”

Received by JoiLin.

Mantouba: “Let us begin. Good morning JoiLin.

“Today’s lesson concerns a person’s ability to fine-tune previously learned skills. This is a by-product of an individual’s daily focus on the will of the Father. In the same sense that a hit and miss attitude toward one’s commitment to enter into the stillness is not conducive to attaining the goal, this same attitude regarding our commitment to the brotherhood is much the same.

“As always, in order to meet the goal, one must practice. As regards the brotherhood, one must stay in the Father’s light each moment of each day, and doing this will eventually end in forming a new habit of attitude. This new attitude is in keeping with the Father’s will for you. The end result is that it then becomes your will also. Living in the light, opening yourself for guidance, allowing yourself to be a conduit that the Father may access others through you. All these things must be actively sought.

“When the woodcarver begins with a block of wood, he starts with a mental image of what he would like this block of wood to become. This is similar to a mortal’s beginning (his or her) spiritual journey. Each day they step out in faith, doing their best to live the Father’s will. Each conscious effort they put into the living of His will changes their entire being. You can see this happening among your brethren that are on a spiritual path. If you knew them when they began, and are able to compare that with where they are now, you can see the new shape being chiseled from the old.

“This then is our wish for you; that you stay in mental contact with the Father within as much as you can as you live your daily lives. Each moment of contact with the Father, will help to stabilize and strengthen this new person you are becoming. Today’s lesson will also help you to understand that you alone maintain control. You are the driver of your life vehicle, as it is lived on this planet of your nativity. You, in fact, will always be in control. Nothing of a spiritual nature can commence in your life unless you choose to open yourself to that possibility, and follow through with active participation. A person may wish for something with all of their might, but unless they put their actions behind those wishes, naught can come of it all.

“It may seem to some of you as if we harp on the same issues over and over again. But you see, my children, we have only the deepest love and faith in you, much the same love and faith you have in your own children. We would endeavor to help you step up on your spiritual path to the Father, for an eternity, if that’s what it takes. You are our children, and we love you completely. Each time we see you step out in faith, our hearts swell with pride. Each time we watch you recognize a mistake or backward step, or a failing to accept an opportunity that was given you, we rejoice in your victories. Keep struggling my children, and know that the rewards of having come through this life of struggle are many.

“And now I would like to introduce Machiventa Melchizedek, who has spoken to you many times before.”

Machiventa: “Good morning JoiLin, it is I, Machiventa. I come to bring you a message from our Sovereign, Michael of Nebadon. This message is one He would like you to share with your group. It is as follows:

“Greetings my children. It is with much love and pride I speak to you today. I am filled with much fatherly, as well as brotherly, love for you all as I look out over your world. A world, as you know, that is very close to me. It is with much hope that I view your world today. You are all helping to change your world from one of despair to one of hope. I ask that you continue as you have in the past to meet your brothers and sisters with love and on openness, so that change may continue as an on-going product of your love for the Father. We acknowledge and appreciate all your struggles, all your triumphs. I just wanted to take the time to thank you personally, and to let you know you are always in my over-care, and in my thoughts. I am always aware of each individual’s struggles and daily triumphs.

“I leave you then with my love and my blessing and remind you to seek always the kingdom within. The Father and I are always accessible to those who seek. Shalom.”

Mantouba: “And now my children, this ends today’s lesson. I will meet with you again on the morrow. Shalom.”

(All transmissions posted on 11:11 Progress Lists are marked “©” to protect the integrity of the text.)

© 11:11 Progress Group
“Sous la Sauvegarde de Michael tout est possible.”
(When taken under Michael’s Wing, all things are possible)
www.1111Angels.com
www.1111SpiritGuardians.com

Death, where all that we are returns to that from which it came, the
drop forgets being a drop and becomes ocean. - skamariapastora2000

MONEY

Verily I say unto ye.......... Money

It can buy a house

But not a home

It can buy a clock

But not time

It can buy you a position

But not respect

It can buy you a bed

But not sleep

It can buy you a book

But not knowledge

It can buy you medicine

But not health

It can buy you blood

But not life

So you see money isn't everything

And it often causes pain and suffering

I tell you this because I am your friend

And as your friend I want to

Take away your pain and suffering!!

So send me all your money

And I will suffer for you!

Cash only please!

After all, what are friends for, uh??

The Book of Yoda:
1:1 The Force is an energy field created by all living things.
1:2 It unites us, surrounds us. It binds the galaxy together.

2:1 For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is.
2:2 Life creates it,
2:3 makes it grow. It's energy fills us
2:4 and binds us. Luminous beings are we! Not this crude matter!
2:5 But beware the Dark Side.
2:6 Anger, Fear, Aggression: The Dark Side are they.
2:7 Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will!
2:8 as it did the Sith, who deal only in absolutes.
2:9 Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

3:1 A Jedi must feel the force flowing through him. He must feel its energy here, there. Between you, me, that rock, that tree. Yes. Even between the land and the ship.
3:2 Failure comes through disbelief.
3:3 Let the Wookiee win.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The First Letter of Paul, John, George, and Ringo to the Rolling Stones:

1:1 Greetings, brothers and sisters. Some would say to you: "Heaven is boring and filled with lazy, annoying people who sing all day in loud, scratchy voices. Hell is

1:2 more fun because there are non-stop parties, and the beer flows like rivers and there lies the country of Rock and Roll."

1:3 But lo, we say to you: Heaven is the real party! Here you find Rock and Roll in its purest form: purged of the sins of the flesh and the lusts of the body. Here, mighty electric guitars

1:4 make great riffs to stir the cosmos. And the beat goes on and on and on. Drums keep pounding a rythym to the brain.

2:1 Rock and roll in Heaven exists in its absolute form: devoid of sin and debauchery, yet retaining an overall superior quality. You will find Archangel Gabriel

2:2 playing duets with Louis Armstrong. Janis Joplin sings all the solos: heartbreaking

2:3 renderings, telling of the woes of man. Chiding the Man for his arrogance and false pride. For we saw in the sky, a being like a son of man:

2:4 wielding a mighty axe which he did strum three times. The chords did vibrate the heavens and sing to the soul of the earth. The freedom and ecstasy of rock and roll

2:5 we did know at last. But worry not, though the Man closes in: For lo, I say to you: Rock and Roll shall be your salvation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Numbers
1:1 And one and two begat three, three by nine begat twenty-seven, twenty-seven minus seven begat twenty, twenty divided by four begat five
...
22:55 Fourteen hundred minus three hundred begat eleven hundred, eleven hundred divided by one hundred begat eleven. And lo, eleven was a prime number in the eyes of the Lord.

Exodus: Shortly after leaving Egypt.

10:1 And God said, "Verily I say unto you, and unto each of you, and again I say: let this thread not die but rather be bumped."

10:2: To which he added, "Shapeth uppeth and getteth thine acts together. No really, dudes. You

10:3 humans need to relax. Catch some Z's. Read a book.

10:4 hang out, go dancing, eat a pizza. Sheesh. Stop

10:5 expecting me to do every little dag-gum thing.

10:6 I ain't yo' mama!"
~~~~~~
Exodus, Ten Commandments:

1: If thou doth not know what it is, toucheth it not.

2: Taketh not thyself so dangum seriously.

3: Sitteth thine buttocks down, and shutteth thyself uppeth.

4: Eateth lots of the fruits of chocolate. For I the Lord am a cool god who likes people to eat candy and be happy.

5: Danceth thou much, and party liketh it beith 1999.

6: Fighteth for thine right to party.

7: Thou shalt count to three. And three is the number to which thou shalt count. Thou shalt not proceed to four. Five is out of the question. I have commanded that three is the number to which thou shalt count. So countest thou to three.

8: Do not thou beith a dork nor shalt thou acteth liketh a moron.

9: Thou shalt not flame.

10: Thou shalt not speak nor write nor shalt thou translate nor read nor glance upon any words or symbols or characters written in the tongue of l33t. Thou shalt not consult nor trade with the l33tspawn, nor shalt thou marry amongst them, nor give thy daughters to them in marriage. Even if the 133tspawn were the last of womankind on earth, wouldst thou still not know a woman of the 133t.

"Thou mayest speak any language upon the earth or under the earth or in Tolkien's weird imagination, so long as thou doth not speak nor write nor translate nor read nor glance upon neither the words of the tongue of l33t nor the characters of the l33t alphabet."

pi: pi In all there is power. The power to change and create. The power to affect from a distance. The power to start something that changes the entire universe, or nothing but the air infront of you. Use this power wisely and sparingly. But let all fury break loose when nessicary. Respect all at first and be kind to all at first and the universe will be kind to you, most of the time. You are made up of a part of the universe, collesing in you, but forever moving and changing and leaving. you are but a rift in the sea of life, ready to be swallowed up, but in your time leave you mark and finally move on. You are one with the universe. Or don't make your mark, be content to be just one with all. Digress and watch where it takes you. Think and realize, then act.

BUMP!

SEKHOKE

1:1 On the 7th day, God went to the bathroom.
1:2 He said, "Let there be urine," and it was so.
1:3 And he saw that it was good.
1:4 God looketh over at yonder wall and readeth, "For a good time, calleth John. 777-7777."
1:5 So, the Lord picketh up thy phone and dialeth, but there was no answer.
1:6 Lucifer pointeth and laugheth, and God smiteth him, saying, "I already kneweth it, idiot! I was just testing."
1:7 Yet Lucifer continued to laugheth and the Lord greweth angry.
1:8 So in his rage, the Lord senteth Satan flying towards Earth like lightning.
1:9 And the Lord proclaimeth, "No one shalt forget the transgression against the Lord which---transgressed---here.
1:10 From this day forth, all bathrooms shall be referred to as Johns."
1:11 God left the bathroom and upon leaving, saw the angel, Peter, holding a marker with the angels, Willy and Jimmy.
1:12 The Lord raised a brow and asketh, "What ist thou doing with thy marker?"
1:13 Willy sayeth, "We were writing holy scriptures, Lord."
1:14 The Lord asketh Jimmy, "Is that so?"
1:15 The angel, Jimmy, sayeth, "It is so."
1:16 The Lord asketh Peter, "Is that so?"
1:17 But Peter burst out crying and gripped the Lord's robes, "It was only a joke, Lord!"
1:18 God's nostrils flared with fury and sent Willy and Jimmy to the depths of Hell.
1:19 But the Lord is merciful and kind, giving the honest angel, Peter, gate duty for the next seventy millenia.
1:20 Peter sigheth, being unable to playeth thy Playstation 0 or A-Box while guarding thy gate.
1:21 Lo, he would have to readeth books until Gameboy or Playstation Portable had been invented.
1:22 But fearing God, he followeth the Lord's commandment.
1:23 In addition to their punishment, the Lord proclaimeth, "From this day forth, every man's flesh shall be named Peter, Willy, and Jimmy."
1:24 And it was so.

(Hey. Anyone think we should include "Makhs Barry" somewhere?)

(Hey. Anyone think we should include "Makhs Barry" somewhere?)


I think you just did :D

And Lo there was turmoil abound as Max Barry unleashed a great evil, also known as NationStates upon the virtual world.

Ferrets,l they like... yeah.

From someone who channels helper spirits.

Tallahassee, Florida, US of A, January 27, 1994.
Unknown Teacher.
Subject: “Self-Forgiveness.” [Short and to the point.]

Received by JoiLin.

Teacher: “My lesson today will be on self-forgiveness. Sometimes what is so easy for us to overlook and understand in others is more difficult to overlook in ourselves. The saying that to err is human to forgive divine, is quite true.

“However, we, as unfolding spiritual beings, need to recognize that until we are able to clear ourselves of these things ‘we find ourselves guilty of’, we hold back our own progress on that path toward the divine nature. Think of this, and see if you can use it to gain a new self-perspective. Go now, and carry on.

“Shalom.”

© 11:11 Progress Group.
Be open to rebuttal, and criticism,
and be accepting of praise and compliments.

Proof that you are one with the universe: Take the universe away and you cannot live. Plus, we need a healthy environment to live a healthy life.

These channelers may be a hoax but they make some good points sometimes.


Urantia, July 14, 2005.
The Scribe (Sananda).
Subject: “Forever You Shall Hold This Truth, Until Your Journey’s End.”

Received by Annuncia.

The Scribe: “It is I, the Scribe.”

Annuncia: “You seemed to have arrived even before I was ready to speak!”

The Scribe: “I am here to enlighten you with Love.”

Annuncia: “I must be so lacking in myself and God, that I require so many lessons.”

The Scribe: “Child, you are the lesson. We all are the lesson. Do we not learn from each other? Are we not all in this together? Love, dear child, is the only lesson, so be assured that you will learn this lesson of love.

“It will be given to you as it needs to be experienced by you, and it will be as if the opposite must first occur, like a reflection mirrored back in your eyes to behold. Love will often seem as if it has ended, only to bloom once again.

“Take heed, dear child, some lessons are not made to be easy, but you will learn. We all need a place where we can find pure love. This love is only to be found in God, and when you place your trust in God, and only God, then will you truly understand this lesson. This is the beginning of your spiritual journey, and yet, love may come at a price if you are not willing to learn your lessons. Love in God will conquer all, for there is no other way. You need to be ready to experience a great deal of love to even come close to imagining the love of God.

“God loves you, child. You are so very loved, so rejoice in the love of God, and open your love channel to God. Let every day at every moment be filled with God’s love, and all shall be slowly presented, so you may learn each lesson well. Each lesson will be brought to you in the light of God, so that you may understand fully and completely what is being asked of you, and then you will have seen the lesson before you, and allow God to work through you.

“This is the only way, for love is what encompasses the earth, and all God’s children must learn this lesson. It is the time. It is of the “now.” Let us awaken the spirit of oneself that love is the way. Can it be that some day all of God’s children can be as one for this cause? Disaster can illuminate when love cannot heal anymore. Share your brotherly love, as we share with you, and as we share with God.

“It is I, the Scribe, coming to you from far away, and yet so very close in spirit. I shall enlighten you, child, and forever you shall hold this truth, until your journey’s end.”

Receiver’s notes: I did feel like a child in this Spirit’s presence. The way I recorded and acted during these moments reminded me of being a teenager with not a care in the world. I felt like jumping up and down on my bed, but I didn’t.

I keep getting a blue spark appearing in front of me, I also see it out of the corners of my eyes. It seems that when I get the urge to write, or hear the words, is when I see this spark most often. I now know that this is my Thought Adjuster “stepping aside” to allow me to transmit the messages.

© The 11:11 Progress Group.
“We Are Each Other at our Spiritual Root Source.”—ABC-22, 1972.
www.1111Angels.com
www.1111SpiritGuardians.com
http://board.1111angels.com
www.1111ProgressGroup.com

1:1 And the Lord sayeth unto the peoples of NationStates, "Go forth and bump, and be ye creative in your bumping; and let thy bumps become as numerous as the stars;
1:2 "And readeth thou the Stickies daily, and taggeth the threads thou thinkest interesting; for it shall arise a great good."
1:3 And among the men there arose a lord, Max of Barry;
1:4 And Max sayeth unto the Lord, "Lord God, we are ignorant folk; explaineth to us how one mayst bump."
1:5 And the Lord God groweth passing wroth, and He sayeth unto Max of Barry, "Then I decreeth, thou shalt not bump, nor tag, but only subscribeth to your topics, that thou mayst view them anytime thou clickest the 'Profile' button in the top left-hand corner of the screen."
1:6 And Lord Max of Barry thankest God, and he leadeth the people of NationStates into the land of Jolt, and there they grew mighty and numerous as the stars;
1:7 But the peoples of NationStates grew wicked and ignorant of the Lord God's commands, and yet they bumpeth all the topics, and taggeth, and spammeth, and all other sorts of abominations before God;
1:8 And God decreeth, that those who spammeth and taggeth suffereth an awful fate;
1:9 And the Lord God sayeth unto Max of Barry, "Lord Max, thy people spammeth, and bumpeth, and taggeth; and they readeth not the Stickies, and they are a sinful people indeed."
1:10 And Max of Barry calleth his closest advisors together, and they goeth into council;
1:11 At length Max of Barry sayeth unto the Lord, "Lord God, I knowest of a solution to this problem."
1:12 And Max of Barry great lord of men appointed a group from his closest advisors;
1:13 and they included Reploid of Productions, and Salusa of Secondus, and Unfree of Peoples, and many other lords and ladies among them;
1:14 and Max sayeth unto God, "These lords and ladies will now be the Moderators, and henceforth any who spammeth, or taggeth, or bumpeth in excess, or readeth not the Stickies, they shall be banished from the fair land of Jolt."
1:15 And God saw the moderators, and he saw that they were good.
1:16 Thus did Moderators come into the world;
1:17 and since then all the good men and women of NationStates readeth the Stickies and obeyeth the Rules Shop, and taggeth not; nor bumpeth, nor spammeth, nor trolleth, nor flameth, nor disobeyeth any other of God's commandments.
1:18 (Yeah, right. :D)

I still think a good old fashioned ungodly

BUMP!

works

I've been enjoying these lately


Urantia, March 6, 1996.
Teacher Ambrose.
Subject: “Open Your Eyes To The Beauty.”

Received by JoiLin.

Ambrose: “Greetings dear ones. Today’s lesson will be a lesson in opening our spiritual eyes to the beauty that surrounds us. Much of the busyness of your life would dissolve were you able to have a more cosmic perspective now. Much of your time is spent in looking forward to the next hour, the next week, the next year, etc.

“How much richer would your everyday existence be were you to recognize that time flows on in a never ceasing movement toward eternity . . . .which is never reached, for it continues forever.

“The reason why you miss so much in your life is due to your attempt to live tomorrow, today. The _expression “Take time to smell the roses” is something you would all benefit from doing more of.

“Stop to consider how many sunsets you have missed—those glorious explosions of pattern and color that have the ability to so uplift the human heart—yet go un-noticed by so many.

“We are beginning to move into the spring of the year, so are you opening your heart to the myriad changes that mother earth and all of life experience at this time? All about you there is a dance of rejuvenation. Open yourself to the music and movement of the spheres. You too are a part of this symphony of change.

“Open you eyes to the beauty that surrounds you each day, your ears to the sounds of rebirth, breathe in the life giving energies that come to you from all of nature, and breathe out, giving back the gift of your own energy.

“I encourage you to celebrate life today! See the gifts of beauty the Father has given to you, hear the bird song, smell the flowers, experience the touch of the sun upon your face, the breeze as it gently lifts your hair, and know in experiencing these gifts how much you are loved by your Creator. Shalom.”

© The 11:11 Progress Group.
“Sous la Sauvegarde de Michael tout est possible.”
(When taken under Michael’s Wing, all things are possible)
www.1111Angels.com
www.1111SpiritGuardians.com

Rules For Being Human:



#1 YOU WILL RECEIVE A BODY.. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

#2 YOU WILL LEARN LESSONS.. You are enrolled in a full time, informal school called 'life'. Each day in the school you will be presented with opportunities to learn what you most need to know. The lessons presented are often completely different from those you think you need.

#3 THERE ARE NO MISTAKES - ONLY LESSONS.. Growth is a process of trial and error and experimentation. You can learn as much from failure as you can from success.

#4 A LESSON IS REPEATED UNTIL IT IS LEARNED.. A lesson will be presented in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it (as evidenced by a change in your attitude - and ultimately your behaviour), then you can go on to the next lesson.

#5 LEARNING LESSONS DOES NOT END.. There is no age of life that does not contain it's lessons. If you are still alive, there are additional lessons to be learned.

#6 THERE IS NO BETTER THAN HERE.. When your 'there' has become a 'here', you will simply discover another 'there' that will again, look better than your 'here'.

#7 OTHERS ARE SIMPLY MIRRORS OF YOU.. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself. When tempted to criticize others, ask yourself what behavior of yours they are mirroring to you.

#8 WHAT YOU MAKE OF YOUR LIFE IS UP TO YOU.. You have all the tools and resources you need; what you create with them is up to you. Remember that through desire, goal setting and right effort you can have anything you want. Persistence is the key ingredient for success.

#9 THE ANSWERS LIE INSIDE YOU.. The answers to all of life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is ask, look, listen and trust.

#10 YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS.. You will forget all the above rules unless you regularly practice some means of staying focused and grounded in the present. Your ego will continually try to trick you into blaming your past or becoming anxious about your future. Thus will you lose contact with the present and become asleep to the lessons and realities of life.

All around us is beauty, and it is human to hold on to those moments. However, this world though incredibaly small, is incredibly full of pain and unspeakable horror. An example of this, though I did not see this my self, I have had it conveyed to me. A kitten was backed over by a car. Its brother tried to get it out, but it was already dead. This can be taken as symbolism. Because though there is such horror in this world, there are also some kind things, be confident that when it comes down to it, that kitten will usually try to save the other. People are generally good. But so easily corriputable. Nazi's, rage, overkill revenge. We are shaped by the bad, and must continuiously fight it off. However we, by fighting off the evils of our world, so often become evil ourselves. It is the true good person that can stay good and true, yet still fight to defend.

All around us is beauty, and it is human to hold on to those moments. However, this world though incredibaly small, is incredibly full of pain and unspeakable horror. An example of this, though I did not see this my self, I have had it conveyed to me. A kitten was backed over by a car. Its brother tried to get it out, but it was already dead. This can be taken as symbolism. Because though there is such horror in this world, there are also some kind things, be confident that when it comes down to it, that kitten will usually try to save the other. People are generally good. But so easily corriputable. Nazi's, rage, overkill revenge. We are shaped by the bad, and must continuiously fight it off. However we, by fighting off the evils of our world, so often become evil ourselves. It is the true good person that can stay good and true, yet still fight to defend.

Installing Love

Customer: I'm trying to install LOVE but need some help. I'm not very technical—can you help?

Service Rep: Sure. The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?

Service Rep: What programs are running?

Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

Service Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Service Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Service Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Service Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops... I have an error message already. What should I do?

Service Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?

Service Rep: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before It can "LOVE"others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Service Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Service Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Service Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

Service Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go...

Customer: Yes?

Service Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

"My soul is the bridge between spirit and body and, as such, is a
uniter of opposites. ...Without soul at center, I would either transcend
into spirit or become mired in matter."

-- Marion Woodman

Ram Dass talks of how his first spiritual goal was to be rid of his
physical existence. He came to understand, though, that our spirituality
lies in bringing higher consciousness to our world of form. When we can
do so, we can delight in all aspects of creation.

Soul exists in the balance of spirit and matter. For a soulful life, we
pay attention to both, seeing spiritual qualities in material forms. As
our awareness grows, we begin to use consciousness to influence and
create form. It’s through form that our spirit expresses.

"Walk in balance with one foot in your spiritual understanding and one
foot in your physical world of accomplishment."

-- Lynn V. Andrews

Thou shalt place thy letter e after thy letter i except thou hast placed thy letter c beforethee.

If you don't belive in Jesus you can go to Helen Boyle.

*opens large, musty book*

*clears throat*

The Book Of Monotonous



1:1 Stuff happened. The end.

The Apocrypha:

The Book of Ed

1:1 "There was, like, the guy."
1:2 "And he, like, bought this tree."
1:3 "But it didn't grow."
1:4 "He got really mad and cursed a bunch of stuff."
1:5 "Then he got, like, really big ears."
1:6 "And he could hear salmon and shit."
3:89 "And then..."
5:1 "Wait."
8:2 "What was I talking about?"
0:6 "Dude."
X:? "My hands are, like, caterpillars."

It now appears teh 11:11 group say a new christ has recently been born! :eek: :D


Philadelphia, US of A, August 15, 2005 (approximate date only).
The Apostle John.
Monjoronson.
Subject: “A Great Time In Your World.”

Received by Rick.

Receiver’s note: Please allow me to share with you an event that took place at IC05 in Philadelphia at Villanova University this past month.

There was a channeling session with a small group toward the end of the conference. I recently received the tape used to record that session, but it only had inaudible background noise making it impossible to transcribe. I would like to state in essence the message I transmitted from the Apostle John.

John: “Yes, this is the Apostle John. There is much celebration on high. The moment we have long waited for has come. The Magisterial mission has begun. Tell your friends and all those with ears to hear this good news. That is all.”

Receiver: At the suggestion of one of the participants present at the above session I asked John to repeat the message. This is what I received:

John: “Greetings, this is the Apostle John who speaks to you now. At this time I would like to honor your request to repeat the message given to you at the Villanova Conference known as IC05. The message I gave to you then, and the message I give to you now, are one and the same. As you know, as you heard me say before, there is much celebration on high. For this is a great time in the history of your world. We, who bring you this message, have much joy in our hearts, for the time has come for a great Magisterial Son to be born on your planet in the likeness of mortal man. At this time we would like to announce that this has occurred. Rejoice in this news as we rejoice with you. For this is a time of great correction. And now we would like to bring to you the voice of Monjoronson, the Magisterial Son.”

Monjoronson: “Greetings dear Rick. This is Monjoronson, your friend and brother, who speaks to you now. I come here today to let you know that the good news that John brings you is very real. And we would like you to present this news to all your brothers and sisters who have the ears to hear. This is a great time in your world. Great changes are continuing to take place. We are honored to be here, and to join with you in this monumental effort to bring your world into light and life. Be in my Light.”

The 11:11 Progress Group.
"You are only still drawing the first charcoal strokes on a massive canvas that will become
the masterpiece of oil paintings of the ages. This represents your present-day understanding
of your lives, spirituality, and your glorious destiny."—Midwayer.
www.1111Angels.com
www.1111SpiritGuardians.com
http://board.1111angels.com
www.1111ProgressGroup.com

The Book of Random
--------------------------

1:1 In the beginning the culinary world was void. And then, Italy, a disciple of God, stepped into the foray.

1:2 Said Italy, "This shall not do. Pasta is ungodly, croissants are sin, and sausages are the food of the Devil." And Italy went on to create a godsend in the kitchen of the heavens.

1:3 Italy started with a pie made from the sacred Bread of Zizepria. He looked at his creation. The Pie was Heavenly. And that was the first hour.

1:4 God insisted on using the holy tomato to base his food, and thus the Pie became soaked in glorious red. He looked at his creation. The Tomato was Pure. And that was the second hour.

1:5 Italy asked his Lord, "What shall I place on this Sacred Tomato base?" A piece of margherita cheese fell from the sky, and Italy chopped it and spread it onto the pie. And that was the third and fourth hours.

1:6 The Lord sent down lightening to cook his creation, and the Pizza was born.

1:7 And even in our current generation, Margherita Pizza is regarded as a food of the gods.

The Daily Guru

Friday 9th Of September 2005

"Self Talk Is Revealing"

"If you wish to know the mind of a man, listen to his words."

-- Chinese Proverb

What passes over your lips each day?

Are your words typically negative, critical, gossiping, deceptive,
illusory, justifying, blaming, manipulative and argumentative? Are they
more uplifting, inspirational, positive, questioning, beautiful, loving,
universal, truthful, accepting and supportive?

The throat is our center of expression. Who we are sneaks out in our
attitudes and in what we say.

"Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs."

-- Pearl Strachan Hurd

"The wise weigh their words on a scale with gold."

-- Bible (Not the ever so popular New Age NS Bible)

"Be mindful of how you approach time. Watching the clock is not the
same as watching the sun rise."

-- Sophia Bedford-Pierce

What would your soul consider a waste of time?

To a soul, the only real time is right NOW. Not the future or the past.
It lives in connecting deeply with the rich experience of each moment.
Through awareness we can be in touch with our authentic self and how it
perceives all of the energies and guidance around and within us.

"Chronos is clocks, deadlines, watches, calendars, agendas, planners,
schedules, beepers. Chronos is time at her worst. Chronos keeps track.
...Chronos is the world's time. Kairos is transcendence, infinity,
reverence, joy, passion, love, the Sacred. Kairos is intimacy with the Real.
Kairos is time at her best. ...Kairos is Spirit's time. We exist in
chronos. We long for kairos. That's our duality. Chronos requires speed so
that it won't be wasted. Kairos requires space so that it might be
savored. We do in chronos. In kairos we're allowed to be ... It takes only
a moment to cross over from chronos into kairos, but it does take a
moment. All that kairos asks is our willingness to stop running long
enough to hear the music of the spheres."

-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

"He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the rustic who
waits for the river to run out before he crosses."

-- Horace

"All major mystical traditions have recognized that there is a paradox
at the heart of the journey of return to Origin. ...Put simply, this is
that we are already what we seek, and that what we are looking for on
the Path with such an intensity of striving and passion and discipline
is already within and around us at all moments. The journey and all its
different ordeals are all emanations of the One Spirit that is
manifesting everything in all dimensions; every rung of the ladder we climb
toward final awareness is made of the divine stuff of awareness itself;
Divine Consciousness is at once creating and manifesting all things and
acting in and as all things in various states of self-disguise
throughout all the different levels and dimensions of the universe."

-- Andrew Harvey

"Each today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each
tomorrow a vision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and
it alone is life."

-- Sanskrit poem

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your
eternity in each moment."

-- Henry David Thoreau

Tuesday 15th Of November 2005

"Work With Tension"

“You never will be the person you can be if pressure, tension and
discipline are taken out of your life.”

-- James G. Bilkey

We need tension in our lives. It’s the force of personal evolution --
it sparks creativity and higher consciousness. If we’re not comfortable
with a situation, we try to improve it, right?

Tension arises through our experience of opposites. These opposites
fight each other as each one struggles for dominance. Tension is
transformed when two opposite dimensions of reality are brought together in
balance and in wholeness.

Know that tension is an integral part of growth. Instead of avoiding or
resisting tension when it arises, identify the opposing forces at play.
Make space for each of them to be there together and the tension will
transform.

We encounter tensions between positives and negatives, mind and body,
self and environment, self and others, and personality and soul – the
dualities in our lives.

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

-- Neale Donald Walsch

Wow, this thread is a bit of a legend... I didn't even know it was still around.

Wow, this thread is a bit of a legend... I didn't even know it was still around.


Imagine a man riding an imaginary dragon. You are that man and you have just clicked a link into The Twilight Zone.

"Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are -- chaff and grain together -- certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."

-- Dinah Mulock

1:1 - "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

1:1 - "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
1:2 - "The first crime appeared to be plagiarism..." :p

It isn't plagiarism - who wouldn't recognize that? Not to mention I put quote marks, just in case.

1:1 - In the beginning, Civilization(tm) was created.
1:2 - By the supreme deity Meier.
1:3 - Honestly.

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or
anything outside ourselves will affect us."

-- Stephen Covey

GENESIS revised by Reverend Spooner
1:1 In the goginning Bed created the earven and the heath.

"God has no other hands than ours."

-- Dorothee Solle

"One act of beneficence, one act of real usefulness, is worth all the
abstract sentiment in the world."

-- Ann Radcliffe

"Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the
beaten. And seeing them... he cried, ‘Great God, how is it that a
loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?’... God
said, ‘I did do something. I made you.’"

-- Sufi Teaching

"To learn to get along without, to realize that what the world is going
to demand of us may be a good deal more important than what we are
entitled to demand of it -- this is a hard lesson."

-- Bruce Catton

I cant believe this is the first time I've sseen this thread. Now I must go read it in its entirety. Page one was priceless.

8:16 The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

8:22 It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

heheh Peeches :fluffle:


Wednesday 22nd Of February 2006

"Internet Challenges"

"The central event of the twentieth century is the overthrow of matter.
...The powers of the mind are everywhere ascendant over the brute force
of things."

-- George Gilder

Those of us who use the Internet are challenged with spam, viruses and
worms. What meaning can we find in these culprits?

It helps to remember that the cause of everything lies in the spiritual
realm. And so we might reflect:


- On spam: What unsolicited junk do we allow to enter our minds and
distract us from what’s important?
- On viruses: What malicious thoughts and behaviours sabotage our
dreams and sap our vitality?
- On worms: How do we allow fear to worm its way into our lives and
subvert our highest intentions?

Mass consciousness is a reflection of all of our individual
consciousnesses. The inner world creates the outer world. When we clean up our own
systems, the external systems will follow suit.

"If each of us sweeps in front of our own steps, the whole world would
be clean."

-- Goethe

The Foreword

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.

The lord said: "Fascwha? What's going on?"
And the people rejoiced.
Then, speaketh the Lord: "No, really. What the fuck is going on here?"
And there was praising and adoration throughout the lands.
The Lord, seeing this adulation of humanity, said: "Why the Hell are you doing that?"
And great temples were built throughout the land to worship at.
Then spake the Lord "Ok, fuck you guys then. I only wanted a chat, not a bunch of asskissers." And then the Lord left for another 5,000 years.

lol funnee

Saturday, March 25, 2006
YOU MUST PAY A PRICE TO BE SUCCESSFUL


Everything you want in life has a price connected to it.
There's a price to pay if you want to make things better;
a price to pay for just leaving things as they are,
a price for everything.

Nature cannot be tricked or cheated.
She will give up to you the object of your struggles
only after you have paid her price.

Success cannot be coaxed or bribed.
Pay the price for success and it will be yours.
The universe is run with far too tight a rein for luck to interfere.
Fortune sells her wares, she never gives them up freely.
In one form or another, you'll pay for her favors,
or you'll go away empty handed.

Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance.
There is no success at bargain basement prices.
The highway to success is a toll road.

"Perception Defines Our Reality"

"The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend."

-- Henri Bergson

Our entire universe is energy -- vibrating waves of pure potential. The
electromagnetic vibrations of our consciousness interact with the
energetic potential that exists everywhere as the life force to ‘collapse’
the waves and create matter. So the patterns of our minds create the
form of our world.

By simply observing a form, we influence it. We in turn are influenced
by others. This challenges us to be more aware of the quality of our
being and the vibrations we transmit.

"There is no reality in the absence of observation."

-- The Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics