NationStates Jolt Archive

A guy in my class, has challenged me to a British...err...swear off?

Either way...the rules are simple, i can only use British Slang.

Unfortuantly the only ones i know are "Bloody", "Puff", "Sod", "Sep", "Fairy"

I just hope it's not like learning Russian Curse's....i'll quote a friend on that.

"Russian curses are much mores sophisticated, there's alot of them, and have complex grammar"

In short i want to be taught to speak like a Teenage Brit...or something.

I'll get that darned Bengali!

Right-o Cheerio!, plz help ^^;

Which dialect? People always make the (major) mistake of assuming that everyone in Britain speaks the same as Londoners. I myself (being Scottish) have absolutely no clue wtf they're calling me when they begin to rant. However, I can give you a few Scottish insults:

Fannyheid, fannybaws, away and bile yer heid, bampot, numpty, pishface...

Scouser.

Eejit. (hey, NI counts too)

Sheep-shagger.

Scally/Chav/Townie/Ned/Scum. They are interchangeable but hopefully they won't know.

A guy in my class, has challenged me to a British...err...swear off?

Either way...the rules are simple, i can only use British Slang.

Unfortuantly the only ones i know are "Bloody", "Puff", "Sod", "Sep", "Fairy"

I just hope it's not like learning Russian Curse's....i'll quote a friend on that.

"Russian curses are much mores sophisticated, there's alot of them, and have complex grammar"

In short i want to be taught to speak like a Teenage Brit...or something.

I'll get that darned Bengali!

Right-o Cheerio!, plz help ^^;

http://www.gotwavs.com/cgi-bin/wavs.cgi?Eurotrip=swearing.wav

hehehe sheepshagger. XD

I dunno...i'm guessing it has to be English insults......

But maybe i'll sprinkle a few in, to throw him off track. ;)

Wanker is also a good one ;)

Numpty is a great word, not that offensive though. "Prick" is a good one, "spanner" too.

I have no idea what "sep" means, and I'm from Essex!

Numpty is a great word, not that offensive though. "Prick" is a good one, "spanner" too.

I have no idea what "sep" means, and I'm from Essex!


Well according to a TV show, Aussie's say it...it's short for Septic Tank

Meaning Your Full of shit.

I just thought you guys more or less spoke the same. ^^;

In short i want to be taught to speak like a Teenage Brit...or something.


Well not quite a teenager (I'm 20), and I wasn't exactly an average Brit. Not quite sure how useful my lexicon will be.

What kinda stuff do you want to call him?


Pillock
Prat
Titrash
Arsehole (Note the [-rse] rather then [-ss] ;))
Char
Brew
Fag (as in cigarette, not homosexual)
Booze
Bevy

That's all I can think of at the moment. It's a bit late at the moment

Tosser, Twat

Well according to a TV show, Aussie's say it...it's short for Septic Tank

Meaning Your Full of shit.

I just thought you guys more or less spoke the same. ^^;

Septic Tank is also cockney rhyming slang for Yank (American).

Ha ha.

Just found this when I was looking for something else.

The Scouse Dictionary (http://www.pettitt.fsnet.co.uk/Scouse%20DictionaryOld.htm)

Scouse, meaning someone from the Merseyside area.


Even has a slightly different version of my favorite:

"DEEDODOHDONDEE"

Though I know it as "DEEDODOHDONDEEDOH"

Glory supporter. A more deadly insult cannot be found.

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html?

Shakespearian insult generator. Have fun.

plonker (idiot)

twat (another word for female genetalia)

arsehole (asshole in english)

pillock (idiot)

chavscum (interchangable with Chav)

scrote (short for scrotum)

f**kwit (idiot generally a man who plays with womens heads)

rugmuncher (lesbian)

poof (gay)

slapper (slut)

you're like the village bicycle, everone's had a turn (slut)

queen (gay)

woofter (gay)

wazzock ( idiot)

dunderhead (idiot)

spaz (idiot)

farthole (same as asshole)

fathead(idiot)

prat (idiot)

paddy (irish)

dunce (idiot)

speccy four eyes (wears glasses)

Tart (slut)

prozzie (slut)

j-bird (street prostitute)

essex girl (slut with bad taste)

fartface

nonce (peadophile)

taffy (welsh)

jock (scot)

whoremonger (pimp)
you can prelude any of them with "grade A" or "A1" which just means extreme.

hope this helps. I have the benefit of being a londoner with a scouser (someone from liverpool) for a mam so i get the best of both worlds. some of them are a bit out of date but meh! good luck

essex girl (slut with bad taste)


Not to be confused with girls from Essex, who are lovely but have the misfortune of being from my home county. They will be VERY offended if anyone calls them "essex girls".

Essex girl types have spread now anyway, and fall under the broader "chav" term. For more information on chavs, check out http://www.chavscum.co.uk

Git

Aside from the standard "sod", "bloody", et cetera, the only British slang I know is "berk".

Flid = Idiot
Pillowbitter = Homosexual
Cock
Uphill gardener = Homosexual
Bummer = as above
rear caviller = same again
Villan = Simple minded (village idiot)

Well some Scottish rhyming slang -
Harry Hoofter - Poofter (homosexual)
Barry White - Shite
Noel Hunt - C*nt
Nat King Cole - Hole (can be used to describe a slut)
Merchant Banker - Wanker or Tam Shank - wank
I'm sure the Londoners have some more rhyming insults

Bike and dartboard are both terms to discribe sluts also.

I am bursting with laughter, as i read through these. XD

How about some examples in a sentence.

Like, "You are a right idiot, you damn bloke" or something like that..

as for what i want to learn..i want to learn how to insult the guy.

I don't get the Glory Supporter though. ?_?

as for what i want to learn..i want to learn how to insult the guy.


Try the shakespearian insult generator then. The are archaic, but brilliant:

A random example: Idol of Idiot worshippers. (Actually used in Troilus and Cressida)

Try the shakespearian insult generator then. The are archaic, but brilliant:

A random example: Idol of Idiot worshippers. (Actually used in Troilus and Cressida)


I don't want Shakespearian insults..i want modern insults. =\

I am bursting with laughter, as i read through these. XD

How about some examples in a sentence.

Like, "You are a right idiot, you damn bloke" or something like that..

as for what i want to learn..i want to learn how to insult the guy.

I don't get the Glory Supporter though. ?_?

"Glory Supporter" means one who supports a football team for the prestige, and would abandon it at first glance. Since we take out football very, very, VERY seriously, this is obviously a bad thing. Most foreigners understand this. What they don't get, however, is that the British are, as a nation, fiercely loyal, and thus the insult is compounded.

"Oh, you wanker!"

Oh, I love "you're a homosexual!" euphemisms. My favourite is "chutney ferret".

Edit: To take the piss out of two girls we know who love the Backstreet Boys, my corridor has recently started referring to them as the Rear Alley Lads. This is my other favourite.

Uphill gardener = Homosexual
I've heard this before, but I've never understood the connotation. What's it supposed to imply?

You know, if i spent as much time studying as i did, learning how to insult people in other.."sorta" languages......well i would'nt have challenged him in the first place.

Oh well no regrets. :)

Twazzock is one of my faves, and also swat, as in "specky bicycle-faced swat".

What about "doss" (cheap), such as "doss c*nt"?

Or, "Shut your gob, you bandy-legged wee shite, ye."

Knob-ornament is a good one.

Actually, simply taking various insults and recombining them works wonders. Twatface, for instance. Knob-jockey is also good for a homosexual euphemism. Of course, you could just go for plain knob.

A selection of Scottish insults
Jake/ tinker - trampy person
Bam/ numpty - a fool (also bampot, bamstick)
Boaby/ tadger/ dobber - a penis
Fud/ Minge - vagina
Munter - ugly woman
Mink - smelly person
Pizza puss - spottyface
Gies a gobble - suck my penis
Buffty - gay
Plooky - spotty
Rocket - idiot
Space cadet - nutter
Shitebag - coward
Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp - ugly
Face like it went on fire and somebody put the flames out with a shovel-uglier
Face like a bulldog lickin pish off of nettles - Damn ugly

I've heard this before, but I've never understood the connotation. What's it supposed to imply?

I can only imagine it implies digging in the dirt...but uphill...

Well some Scottish rhyming slang -
Harry Hoofter - Poofter (homosexual)
Barry White - Shite
Noel Hunt - C*nt
Nat King Cole - Hole (can be used to describe a slut)
Merchant Banker - Wanker or Tam Shank - wank
I'm sure the Londoners have some more rhyming insults

Can I just say, I have enormous respect for anyone with a mastery of "rhyming slang". I had a friend from London who explained it to me, and it's bloody brilliant :)

Backdoor conquistador = Homosexual

Tbh, a lot of these are not really in common use among most Brits, at least here in the south... But one definately heard a lot is:

Minger (rhymes with singer) - unnatractive individual. Can also be used as a verb: something that "mings" or is "minging" is something disgusting, often applied to inanimate objects as well as people.

Backdoor conquistador = Homosexual

Also (sorry if any of these have been mentioned)

Mud jockey
Fudge packer
Shirt lifter
Camp as a row of tents
Bats for the other team (also, bats for both teams for a bisexual)
Walks on the other side of the street (notice a trend here)

I always loved the word "gobshite"
It may be exclusively Irish, though, I don't really know if the Brits would use it.

Tbh, a lot of these are not really in common use among most Brits, at least here in the south


Is this your typical view from south of the Watford gap? That is to say that nothing exists north of Watford

Is this your typical view from south of the Watford gap? That is to say that nothing exists north of Watford

naturally ;)

Is this your typical view from south of the Watford gap? That is to say that nothing exists north of Watford
i'm south of watford and i've certainly never heard of most of these. and, no, nothing important exists north of Watford....except Tink of course ;)

Camp as a row of tents

Camper than a row of pink fluffly tents...

i'm south of watford and i've certainly never heard of most of these. and, no, nothing important exists north of Watford....except Tink of course ;)

I'll let you stand and say that in the middle of manchester and say that :D

i'm south of watford and i've certainly never heard of most of these. and, no, nothing important exists north of Watford....except Tink of course ;)
good save mister!



twit
tosspot
knob-jockey
muff
fanny-basher
munter
mongue
prick

Prat (Idiot)

Muppet (Stupid)

Tosser (In the US: Jerkoff)

Wanker (US:Jerk)

Willy Wanker (same)

Master Bates (Say it quickly)

Todge/todger/Pink member/one eyed snake/early worm/dick/bollocks: Men's genitalia

Dick head: (A person whose head is similar to that of a penis)

Bollockface/bollockfeatures: (a person whose face is remarkably akin to that of a testicle)

Arselicker (someone who creeps to a person in authority or who holds a position of power)

Bugger (Can be used in exclamation as a term akin to 'oh shit' but also refers to someone who likes f***ing people about)

Sod (Sodomy but also Sod as in mud)

Harlot (Prostitute)

Lady of the night (prostitute)

Rent boy (a young male prostitute)

Kiddie Fiddler (A pervert)

Hedge rustler (A pervert)

Peeping Tom (A man who spies on people through windows)

Berk (idiot)

Turd (shit)

I always loved the word "gobshite"
It may be exclusively Irish, though, I don't really know if the Brits would use it.

We do where I live.

toss pot (wanker[jerk off])

I can't be arsed reading the entire bloody thread, it's so chuffing long that it'd bore me shitless, however I do recommend giving it a pop, as Brit swearing is the Dog's Bollocks. The bestestmost thing about Brit swearing is getting creative. Once you are familiar with a few basic euphemisms, you can start varying them to your heart's content. So from "the bee's knees" we end up with "the dog's bollocks", and from context, a brit would know what I was on about if I said "that's the fucking Bat's Nadgers" or "Bugger me sideways with a shit shovel! That is absolutely the orang-utan's oranges, is that!"

Don't be too worried about not sounding authentic. An important role of Brit slang is allowing us to identify who are local and who are not. If I asked for a croggie in essex they'd maybe eventually work out that I wanted a backie, and if a Cumbrian observed I was cuddy wifted, I might eventually work out he means cack-handed.

Any road. Have fun! knock yourself out, geezer!

Oh, and in Brit english Ass means donkey, and Arse means the other type of ass.

Scrotum Totem
Cock Muncher
Spanner
fish wife
spaz

I dont really use slang that much, generaly when I want to insult someone i dont dilly dally around slang terms I just tell them how it is :)

"Your a fucking Idiot"

"You Prat"

"What The Fuck? You Prat"

"What the Fuck?... You have the Intelligence of Pond Life"

"Im Sorry... I didn't Quite get that? Im getting a Headache from thinking Down to your Level..."

"Sorry Can you say that again? I don't speak Retard"

Stuff like that... be brutal and up front and in a non posh british accent...

Yeah, Twat is most popular round were I live, along with minger and wanker.

A weird one around here though, and its only around here. Is calling them 'Steve'. Because there was this really spaggy guy working in a KFC for a while that was just great fun to make fun of. Anyway you call them steve when they do something completely stupid because they haven't thought about it, also when you say it you do the spaggiest voice you can do.

Oh yeah, Spag and Retard are good ones aswell.

No offence to anyone called Steve, btw. :p

numpty!


also, i found this http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml 'The American's guide to speaking British'


even i learned a couple of things from that, like is 'any-road' really a northern thing?! and 'blatant' is British?!

numpty!


also, i found this http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml 'The American's guide to speaking British'


even i learned a couple of things from that, like is 'any-road' really a northern thing?! and 'blatant' is British?!

Yeah "any road" is mainly said in the central western part of England, Birmingham up to Manchester

Yeah "any road" is mainly said in the central western part of England, Birmingham up to Manchester
we say it further north than Manchester too

http://www.chavscum.co.uk - that site is shite (heh,that rhymes :P)

Try http://www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk for a better idea of the workings of Scotland :D

I can't think of any fantabulous Welsh insults...the only one that springs to mind is "cwd maharan", which is the local term for "ram's testicle"...and you all know how seriously we Welsh take our sheep...(any references to leeks, rugby or coal-mining from this point forwards will be destroyed miserably :) )

My fave has to be "You Fuckin Wanker!!"....
tell u guys what... when by little bro gets back from work il get him to sit here and type out all the insults he knows.. he has the most profound understanding and dictionary of cusses of any1 i have ever met... evil springs to mind.

toss pot (wanker[jerk off])
wanker, definatley.


fudgepacker (maybe not british i dunno)

well you can't really go wrong using any combination of f*ck, c*nt, and arse. Oh and use twunt - its the best insult ever. And say ya mum alot

well you can't really go wrong using any combination of f*ck, c*nt, and arse. Oh and use twunt - its the best insult ever. And say ya mum alot
:confused: nobody says that over here....

Ijiot(idiot)
Chief(fool)
Prick
Nonce
Fuck-Tard
Faggit With Your Maggit
Spaz
Twat
Bumberclut Fool (north london)
Swinging Door
Brick(dont ask, i heard a weegee sya that once.)(weegee is some1 from glasgow)
****
Wanker
Barstard
Pikey(gypsie)
Shite(shit)
Limey Git/ Git
Tosser
Mug

Can't help, I speak mutant English slang (Australian).

Pikey and Fuck-tard, they're good ones that I forgot about. And everyone says "Ya mum" a load around here

Flid = Idiot


Flid doesn't mean Idiot, it's slang for someone who has Phalidamide syndrome, ie: They're physically disabled.

Fag-end is one I like, short but sweet.

Mong/ Mongoloid = Someone with Downe's syndrome

Anything with "...tard" is from retard, which is definitely imported from America. We never had retards, just spastics, spags, spackers, mongs, and mongers.

Anything with "dick" or "crap" in it will be American-influenced but I think "dickhead" is probably our own.

Bugger is quite a mild swearword, though literally it means sodomite

Bollocks are small balls

Wanker in california means someone who complains. In britain it's someone who likes to shake hands with the bishop, spank the monkey, pull a hand shandy, or wrestle the one-eyed trouser snake.

Berk is a really mild insult, on account of not many people being aware that it is actually rhyming slang (Berkeley Hunt)

Bloke isn't an insult, just informal, as are geezer, gadger, gaffer, fella.

Instead of "buddy" as a form of address, we say "mate" or "chief" in the south, "mi duck" to the opposite sex or kids in the midlands, "luv" to the opposite sex in the north, and some regions (glasgow?) you might get called "john"

Speaking of which, the John is the loo, bog, crapper, lavvy

Blending swearwords is always fun: twunt, pranny

Also, combinations of animals and anatomy: dog cock, arsebadger, cockmonkey, chicken bollocks

Fanny doesn't mean butt, but nearby (though only women have em) thus Aunt Fanny's donuts is always good for a laugh.

Flid doesn't mean Idiot, it's slang for someone who has Phalidamide syndrome, ie: They're physically disabled.


true 'nuff, but it can be used for anyone who's generally incapable.

"C'mere you flid, give me the joystick!"
"Bog off mong-boy, you'll only cock it up"

Aside from the standard "sod", "bloody", et cetera, the only British slang I know is "berk".
That's very old rhyming slang
Berkshire Hunt = C**t
not nice to call some one a berk when you know that :p

Bollocks. I just noticed some one got there first. Meh!

That's very old rhyming slang
Berkshire Hunt = C**t
not nice to call some one a berk when you know that :p




Though you can have fun with people who dislike swearing and profanity, like someone I know.

Ask them if they think berk is ok then tell them what it means. :p