NationStates Jolt Archive

Yes for you Brits as close as we can get


*picks up geoge clothes and makes a little fort , uses pasta sauce as cement*

*Makes everybody sick by force feeding them the Microwaveable Mussaka*

***Uses french stick as a lance and charges the so called fort***

hey theres only two people, picks up annoying advert people and holds hostage in the "off the back of a truck" cd area.

***Uses french stick as a lance and charges the so called fort***
unfortunatly the stick breaks and crumbles at the first sight of moisture

Moo Cow!

*starts hitting random people with milk bottles*

unfortunatly the stick breaks and crumbles at the first sight of moisture

Damn crappy asda.

***Searches for a real lance***

***finds one in aisle 334***

Come on, you know asda will sell anything to try and be as great as Tesco

And since when did Asda put moisture in their pasta sauce?

Come on, you know asda will sell anything to try and be as great as Tesco

Really?

*looks for something*

*finds it*

Mwhahahaha!

*Wields shotgun*

*Shoots greeter and uses his body for sheild*

F**********************************************ck.....
shouts employee as lance comes in spearing him and the surrounding bags


Clean up at checkout 7.............................................










cough,



will the owner of the blue ford mondeo please move their car, it is blocking the large arial bombardment that is now immenent. thank you

And since when did Asda put moisture in their pasta sauce? no the moistrue of air was sufficient to reduce it to dust

*drinks tea and wears a monocle*

*Plays songs by Colin Hay on the tannoy*

*Watches as all the Patrons fall into slumber*

*Gets putty knife*

Soon, no man or woman shall have a nose to call their own.

Ha ha!

*Starts cutting off noses*

Ride of the valkyries slowly sounds over the horizon.............

will the owner of the blue ford mondeo please move their car, it is blocking the large arial bombardment that is now immenent. thank you

no the moistrue of air was sufficient to reduce it to dust

"No, I'll just leave my car to be blown up" says the owner. "It's only a mondeo."

***Hides in a dustbin to avoid air strike***

Ride of the valkyries slowly sounds over the horizon.............

Oh, nucksocks.

*Hides behind a small wall bulit out of X-boxes*

dun dun dun dun dun

commander its the X boxes

"shit they'll last all but a nuclear strike,
and thats only found in ALDI and LIDL"

Napalm rains down on the cheap aluminium roof, melting all and causing a red erie glow.

come-on, more people, more violence

come-on, more people, more violence

*Picks up shotgun, pokes it over the X-boxes and randomly fires*

Ah-ha! Flour bomb!
*Lobs bags of flour, followed by cheapo lighters into Fort Pasta*
*Kaboom!*
*Looks up as waves of zeppelins drone overhead, playing ride of the valkyries from speakers the size of houses*

Oh BugKABOOOOOM!

*Picks up shotgun, pokes it over the X-boxes and randomly fires*

*dresses as a member of staff, in order to sneak unnoticed into TNM's X-box fort*

*dresses as a member of staff, in order to sneak unnoticed into TNM's X-box fort*

*Hangs up little sign that says "senior executives only"*

*builds a Wal*Mart right next door and wins over customers....then we JACK UP the prices!*

this is SOCIAL fight

NOT ECONOMIC :mad: :mad: :mad: :gundge:

lights a fire next to wal*mart with the floorboards of the DIY department

*builds a Wal*Mart right next door and wins over customers....then we JACK UP the prices!*

*Dresses up in a ninja suit made from bin-bags, and using ninja-star bagels, attempts to overthrow Wal Mart*

*Fails*

*Hangs up little sign that says "senior executives only"*

I'm a senior...er... stockroom management and product retail executive assistant junior trainee. *nod*

I'm a senior...er... stockroom management and product retail executive assistant junior trainee. *nod*

Hmm...you still have a nose.

What's the password?

Hmm...you still have a nose.

What's the password?
*Whispers to Chicken Pi*
It's swordfish. Always is.

*Smacks The Noble Men in the back of the head with an economy tin of beans before running away and hiding amongst the pasta*

*Smacks The Noble Men in the back of the head with an economy tin of beans before running away and hiding amongst the pasta*

Ouch.

*Throws tin in the vague direction of the assailant*

*Misses*

*Whispers to Chicken Pi*
It's swordfish. Always is.

*whispers back*
No, it's coup d'etat. Everyone knows that ASDA is secretly plotting to take the UK and Poland.

*addresses The Noble Men*

The password is coup d'etat, my corporate comrade.

*Drops in on a parachute made of plastic bags*

The password is coup d'etat, my corporate comrade.

Ah, enter friend.

Ah, enter friend.

Muchos gracias.

*enters fort and starts attempting to formulate an explosive from second-hand chewing gum and whisky*

*whispers back*
No, it's coup d'etat. Everyone knows that ASDA is secretly plotting to take the UK and Poland.

Curses. I've been sabotaging Tescos for all these years. Ah well, on with the fight.
*releases lorryload of basketballs down the central aisle, maiming hundreds of attacking garden gnomes (from aisle 15 - Garden acessories)*

*enters fort and starts attempting to formulate an explosive from second-hand chewing gum and whisky*

Try adding oregano.

your all against me, whimpers in hole in DIY section, and grabs a jigsaw voilently slashing at anything that moves

sets blade to flesh

Try adding oregano.

I'm all out, I sold it to a group of teenagers in the parking lot. Never fear, for I keep my trusty herb rack with me at all times!

*starts emptying jars of ginger and coriander into the concoction*

I'm all out, I sold it to a group of teenagers in the parking lot. Never fear, for I keep my trusty herb rack with me at all times!

*starts emptying jars of ginger and coriander into the concoction*

Look at the pretty colours.

Look at the pretty colours.

*holds up the scrumptious blend of organically grown herbs and hard alcohol*

If I drink this, I shall surely be able to belch explosive fireballs at people!

*takes a swig*

*holds up the scrumptious blend of organically grown herbs and hard alcohol*

If I drink this, I shall surely be able to belch explosive fireballs at people!

*takes a swig*

Whatever you do, DO NOT FART WHEN I AM BEHIND YOU!

Whatever you do, DO NOT FART WHEN I AM BEHIND YOU!

No problem, I-

*burps, giving off a strong smell of herbs*

Ha, fear my raging fireball of odourous breath! ....I don't think that was too successful...

No problem, I-

*burps, giving off a strong smell of herbs*

Ha, fear my raging fireball of odourous breath! ....I don't think that was too successful...

Wha' happened?!?

Wha' happened?!?

Not an awful lot, unless you consider bad breath to be a major event.

I miss all the interesting threads :(

:p

Not an awful lot, unless you consider bad breath to be a major event.

Well, it was very,very bad.

I had a vision into the Underworld.

Well, it was very,very bad.

I had a vision into the Underworld.

Christ, I'm the one who's actually digesting this stuff. My bowels feel like the river Styx.


OOC: Interesting enough, my bowels actually do feel like the river Styx at the moment.

Christ, I'm the one who's actually digesting this stuff. My bowels feel like the river Styx.


OOC: Interesting enough, my bowels actually do feel like the river Styx at the moment.

Hmm...poor you.

Try peppermint, it's supposed to work.

And what does OOC mean.

Hmm...poor you.

Try peppermint, it's supposed to work.

And what does OOC mean.

I'm dandy. I'll just drink plenty of water.

And OOC means 'out of character'. It's used a lot in RPing.


Anyways, lets get back to the ASDA fight (however inactive it may be).

*er...acquires a lawnmower and starts mashing up the fresh fruit aisle, just for the hell of it*

I'm dandy. I'll just drink plenty of water.

And OOC means 'out of character'. It's used a lot in RPing.


Anyways, lets get back to the ASDA fight (however inactive it may be).

*er...acquires a lawnmower and starts mashing up the fresh fruit aisle, just for the hell of it*

*um...takes all the good music out of the music section*

*Builds a trebuchet out of old sports equipment*

*Loads dead flaming corpses onto the trebuchet*

*Launches corpses at the remaining pop music*

*Watches the music die inside the flaming, underpaid students' bodies*

*um...takes all the good music out of the music section*

*Builds a trebuchet out of old sports equipment*

*Loads dead flaming corpses onto the trebuchet*

*Launches corpses at the remaining pop music*

*Watches the music die inside the flaming, underpaid students' bodies*

*holds a burning-pop-music-and-retail-employees barbecue*




I think it might be best to call it a day, nobody else is posting here.

*holds a burning-pop-music-and-retail-employees barbecue*




I think it might be best to call it a day, nobody else is posting here.

Agreed, it was fun whilst it lasted.

Goodbye.

Agreed, it was fun whilst it lasted.

Goodbye.

Bye. Maybe another time.