NationStates Jolt Archive

Specifically, the aspect(s) of sex known as BDSM.

Do you know what it is, how deeply have you learned about it? What sort of opinions do you hold about the lifestyle, and how educated are your opinions - how educated are you willing to be to form/alter your opinions?

I personally know very little about it, so have yet to form any real opinion on it. I've seen the number of websites dedicated to it grow exponentially online over the past several years, most of them being nonporn sites dedicated to communities/groups. I ask you all because I have been lurking these forums for a long time now, over a year I believe or close to it, and I've never seen the conversation on the 'leather life'... so I wanted to see if there's any feul for discussion out there, but I didn't wanna go too deep on the first try so I'll just ask if you know a little or a lot, and are you satisfied to let them lead their own lives, do you condemn them for their choices, do you want to learn more and maybe perhaps get more involved?

Thanks for any responses :)

A quick question about sex...
No no no, your approach is all wrong, you have to take your time, ease into the question and savour it... :p

I can be pretty submissive, so certain aspects of BDSM are often incorporated in my sexual habits.

BDSM isn't all about leathers and whips and pain.

I can be pretty submissive, so certain aspects of BDSM are often incorporated in my sexual habits.

BDSM isn't all about leathers and whips and pain.

Have you ever seen the movie Secretary? It demonstrates your point quite well.

Have you ever seen the movie Secretary? It demonstrates your point quite well.

Now, where did I put that bittorrent app...

Now, where did I put that bittorrent app...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274812/

...do you condemn them for their choices, do you want to learn more and maybe perhaps get more involved?

Thanks for any responses :)
It's a private issue. But open mind and willingness to learn and try new things is certainly not bad for one's sex life. There are way too many frustraded women and men who would like to try something new but are too shy to say it out loud.

How much you want to bet by the time North America wakes up this thread will be jammed packed with all sorts of, um, helpful advice?

As for me, know a bit about it thanks to a roomie who liked it (as in he was interested in it and had pretty pictures) but I and my fiancee do not really understand the appeal.

I ran into this website

thebrc.net

which tries to explain a lot of things, it'll take me a really long time to read all the articles though.

Also the-wet-spot.blogspot.com is good if you're looking for a firsthand perspective of a married, longterm, committed relationship involved, it's got some graphic pics of the couple up there, nothing 'porn' style but definitely naked bodies. This was nice to find, some of the things they say and do with each other are VERY sweet and loving, showing me that it doesn't have to do the whippies all the time.

And yeah, what I'm seeing as I go on a bit of a binge with my research this morning is that there's a LOT more to this than just the pain.

<snip>
You might want to remove those links when there's nudity.

Specifically, the aspect(s) of sex known as BDSM.
...

By the way, I'm sure that there are several "beginner's guide to BDSM". Try to find one and you'll learn a lot more. It will be easier to form an opinion after reading a book. Internet sites can be quite misleading.

You might want to remove those links when there's nudity.

That's why I put a warning in there, and it's not a link - because I don't know how to do that :P is just an address. People can read that there's nonporn nudity there and decide whether they want to go or not. If you're not offended by the human body I'd highly suggest it, because their relationship is incredible, they're so close and they communicate all the time. If it gets to be an issue I'll take it out, but it'd be a shame just because of something shown we all have anyway.

Also the-wet-spot.blogspot.com is good if you're looking for a firsthand perspective of a married, longterm, committed relationship involved, it's got some graphic pics of the couple up there, nothing 'porn' style but definitely naked bodies. This was nice to find, some of the things they say and do with each other are VERY sweet and loving, showing me that it doesn't have to do the whippies all the time.

Thanks for the URL! The first entry called "Monsieur Strap-On is not your average Frenchman" was great. I'm not straight, so portrayals of straight sex of any kind really almost never do anything for me, but that post was so good it gave me an erection. :eek:

That's why I put a warning in there, and it's not a link - because I don't know how to do that :P is just an address. People can read that there's nonporn nudity there and decide whether they want to go or not. If you're not offended by the human body I'd highly suggest it, because their relationship is incredible, they're so close and they communicate all the time. If it gets to be an issue I'll take it out, but it'd be a shame just because of something shown we all have anyway.
I don't have a problem with it. I'm just saying there are rules on this forum against nudity. I'm not sure if it works for adresses too, because they are not links, but nudity is nudity and that is banned here.

Don't shoot the messenger

I don't have a problem with it. I'm just saying there are rules on this forum against nudity. I'm not sure if it works for adresses too, because they are not links, but nudity is nudity and that is banned here.

Don't shoot the messenger
*growls and gets dressed after she prepares to streak*

Ok, that I can accept, but...why can't I shoot the messanger? That's fun! :D

But seriously, it's not all pain and whips. It can be quite sensual. I find something amusing about handcuffing and using a feather whip to be the dominant one. Trust me, being tickled is probably worse than being whipped in this instance. If you're not good about controlling your nerves, being tickled can be torture. ^^;;

But seriously, it's not all pain and whips. It can be quite sensual. I find something amusing about handcuffing and using a feather whip to be the dominant one. Trust me, being tickled is probably worse than being whipped in this instance. If you're not good about controlling your nerves, being tickled can be torture.
I second that :D

I believe (especially when it comes to a topic like this) everything that serves your purpose should not be ruled out unless you or your partner are uncomfortable with it.

Just have a set of spare-cuff-keys ready. And don't use the real police-issued ones without a set of keys. It can become veeeery embarrassing if you have to call the cops to help you out. (What was their motto again? "The Pervs to protect"?)

Specifically, the aspect(s) of sex known as BDSM.

Do you know what it is, how deeply have you learned about it? What sort of opinions do you hold about the lifestyle, and how educated are your opinions - how educated are you willing to be to form/alter your opinions?

I personally know very little about it, so have yet to form any real opinion on it. I've seen the number of websites dedicated to it grow exponentially online over the past several years, most of them being nonporn sites dedicated to communities/groups. I ask you all because I have been lurking these forums for a long time now, over a year I believe or close to it, and I've never seen the conversation on the 'leather life'... so I wanted to see if there's any feul for discussion out there, but I didn't wanna go too deep on the first try so I'll just ask if you know a little or a lot, and are you satisfied to let them lead their own lives, do you condemn them for their choices, do you want to learn more and maybe perhaps get more involved?

Thanks for any responses :)

As long as both parties are consenting I don't give a damn what they get up to. Whatever floats your boat.

For interest's sake, the distinction between B&D and S&M is that B&D draws the line before blood and faeces.

I've actually learned that there are three meanings in BDSM ... B&D and D&S and S&M ... the s&m actually refers to slavery and mastery, while the bd and ds are referring to the non-mental/emotional controlling types. sadism, masochism, and the combination of the two terms were all coined back around freuds' time and are more behaviour stereotypes instead of descriptions of scene-play.

goodness, research is fun!

goodness, research is fun!
BDSM can be fun, too.
I like bondage games now and then and some bit of pain mixed into normal play. Nothing really harsh, but not plain vanilla either.

<snip>B&D and D&S and S&M <snip>
Lessee...
Bondage & Discipline (Bondage & Dominance),
Discipline & Submission (Dominance & Submission),
Slavery & Mastery (Slave and Master, Sub and Master)
OR
Sadism and Masochism (or SM, SadoMasochism)

Kinda depends on who you talk to.

I don't have a problem with it. I'm just saying there are rules on this forum against nudity. I'm not sure if it works for adresses too, because they are not links, but nudity is nudity and that is banned here.

Don't shoot the messengerYes. Posting porn gives you an insta-DEAT. Even if you give a warning. I think it's the most serious offense possible (although hacking into a mod account and deating lots of people, as well as spamming and playing around with the code, is probably pretty close).