NationStates Jolt Archive


Stupid things YOU'VE said!

Colodia
17-06-2005, 05:19
Okay, I know this is a spin-off thread. But I think it could turn out better than stupid things said by classmates, French, or teachers.

As for me, it would have to be when I denied I had a lisp...

"I don't have a lishtp! lispth! Lishtp! Argh....lisshp!"
Wurzelmania
17-06-2005, 05:21
Anytime I say 'bugger' you know I just screwed something up really badly. Usualy my stupidity is slapstick though.
Haloman
17-06-2005, 05:26
I like acting stupid, it's quite fun.
Neo River
17-06-2005, 06:00
"Lets see what happens if I try to jump that hill in my car."
Gambloshia
17-06-2005, 06:07
Nothing, duh. :D
DUMDUMS
17-06-2005, 06:11
well it depends on the day but normally when im driving i ask "are we there yet" when no one knows where were going but me
NERVUN
17-06-2005, 06:12
*Said in the middle of an RPG*

Friend: The marks read 'Earth, Fire, Wind, Water.'

Me: Its the four major elephants!

*Also in an RPG, after bursting into a shelter in full power armor*

Me: Don't worry! I mean you no home!

Being honest today
Vi2o
17-06-2005, 06:20
Friend: "Dude, I called your phone and someone picked up and they where talking in some different language. What the hell?"

Me: "Oh, what did they say?"
Zatarack
17-06-2005, 06:27
This thread might be good...
The Downmarching Void
17-06-2005, 06:41
"Nah, don't worry, it's safe. I've done it like this before" I said this mere seconds before lighting a pile of gunpowder with the remains of my lit cigarette. *POOF* Bright flash, no more eyebrows and 2nd degree burns to my left hand. By way of explanation (not excuse) I was pretty high at the time. I looked like Wile E. Coyote after one of own bombs blew up in his face. The fact I was 26 at the time makes it even more embarassing.
Patra Caesar
17-06-2005, 06:59
Everything I wrote on my exam paper today was stupid. I did terribly, which is a shame because I did so well on the other exams. The exam was English Lit, a critical analysis of Tennyson's "In Memoriam of A.H.H." an examination of how conflict led to tragedy in "Othello" and the use of characterization in Dicken's "Great Expectations." I'm very disappointed that I didn't do at least Dicken's better, but I didn't like the question on "Othello."
Colodia
17-06-2005, 14:55
Everything I wrote on my exam paper today was stupid. I did terribly, which is a shame because I did so well on the other exams. The exam was English Lit, a critical analysis of Tennyson's "In Memoriam of A.H.H." an examination of how conflict led to tragedy in "Othello" and the use of characterization in Dicken's "Great Expectations." I'm very disappointed that I didn't do at least Dicken's better, but I didn't like the question on "Othello."
Well, it's better than the high guy that blew his face up in terms of intelligence. :D
Mekonia
17-06-2005, 15:03
A conference was being held for blind ppl in my college. A blind man came up to me with his ( wife, and asked me where was the student centre... although I was saying this to his wife, passers by thought it quite funny when I said...do ya see that building over there!!
Czardas
17-06-2005, 15:06
Me: I never say anything stupid!!! How dare you suggest that!!!

Parent: Get plates for you and your little brother.
Me: *reaches for plates* How many do I need?

Me: *on exam* ...skepticalness...

Me: Help! Help! I'm going to drown! *while swimming furiously in the 4-ft-deep end of the pool*

Me: *At the end of nearly every sentence*...and that's not a good thing. (i.e. 'Then a nuclear bomb would explode, and lots and lots of people would die, and that's not a good thing.')

Me: *in my 30th post* Greetings! I welcome your new nation to General! Myself being a new player... well I'm not still new, am I?

I'm the epitome of stupidity. :D
Kryozerkia
17-06-2005, 15:19
In Soviet Russia, saxophone practices you! :p That is part of my MSN name...

quotes?

Ok...

"Ew! That doughnut is mutinous!" - said when I was 17.
Oye Oye
17-06-2005, 15:21
Please refer to posts marked "Oye Oye"
Boodicka
17-06-2005, 15:30
Me, to my Mum when I was 8 years old and I was pretty sure I was gonna die from a chronic medical condition:
"Why don't you love me?"

Stupid because I was right, and I called her on it. Stupid because when I called her on it, she got angry. Stupid because at 8 years old, it's something I think I'd rather not know was true.
Daistallia 2104
17-06-2005, 15:46
A bit of background: Universal opened their Universal Studios Japan theme park here in Osaka a few years ago. My best friend (B.) and I both have yearly passes.

We went for my birthday a few months ago. I pulled out my wallet, handed the pass to the gate attendant, and picked up a copy of that days schedule. Right after we passed through the ticket gate, I put the pass in my wallet, in my left hand. Then I put that day's show schedule in my wallet pocket with my right . Not feeling the wallet there I turned around to B. and said "Damn! I think someone just took my wallet!"
He looked at me for a few seconds and said "I see him."
"Where? Where?!?"
He then reached over, took my wallet from my left hand and put it in my right hand.

OOppsie.

NERVUN's post reminds me of another good one. I had just started playing Empire of the Petal Throne. I was a low level character, on a dungeon crawl with a pretty high level party. We encountered a party of 100+ Ssú (http://www.tekumel.com/world_nonhumans12.html) (nasty malelovent non-human race, often powerful magicians). My lowly character happened to have an awesome dexterity, and had the first move.
So I said "I draw my sword and prepare to give battle", expecting the powerful magicians in the party to wipe the floor.
Unfortunately I didn't have the experience to know what Ssú were, and assumed, with large numbers like that, they must be minor monsters.

The magicians teleported the rest of the party out. I was thanked for "recovering the retreat". That character did go down in party legend as Han "Never tell me the odds" Solo. Him, and a few others of the same stripe earned me a pin badge with the same quote on it, that I wore to every session. :D
Eh-oh
17-06-2005, 15:56
once, when asked to name the 3 blood vessels, i said 'arteries, veins and caterpillars'
German Nightmare
17-06-2005, 15:57
Oh, this is just sooo great!!!

*adds bookmark*
Neo Rogolia
17-06-2005, 15:58
I once called the Netherlands and Denmark the same place :(


(I was 8! It was excuseable!!! /cry)
Syskeyia
17-06-2005, 16:23
In the Reich embassy thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=297983) I wrote, OOCly:

Oh, and you're the bad guys, you're SUPPOSED to lose.
Verghastinsel
17-06-2005, 16:27
To a girl that I quite liked, whilst pissed, at a party - "I'll eat you out if you want. Just say the word"

I haven't spoken to her since.
E Blackadder
17-06-2005, 16:28
"The Surrender of japan was signed on board the Arizona"

yep...just said it
Syniks
17-06-2005, 16:29
... "I do." ... :p
E Blackadder
17-06-2005, 16:32
... "I do." ... :p


:p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p
Deleuze
17-06-2005, 16:33
"Let's try anal!"






That never happened, but it makes sense.
Nureonia
17-06-2005, 16:35
Friend: "Seriously. Why would we invade Canada? What resources does Canada have?"
Me: "HOCKEY!"
Kryozerkia
17-06-2005, 16:37
"I'm bored, wanna go to church?" - fortunately no one took me seriously and I was high...
Nureonia
17-06-2005, 16:49
This was only really stupid because my math teacher didn't like me.

Teacher: [Nureonia], what's the tangent of a circle?
Me: Opposite over adjacent. Duh.

She gave me a REALLY dirty look and called on someone else.
Texpunditistan
17-06-2005, 16:50
Q. - What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies?

A. - "Hold my beer and watch this!"

:p

Seriously, though. If I posted everything I've ever said that was dumb, it'd crash the forums permanently. :headbang:
Daistallia 2104
17-06-2005, 16:58
Q. - What's the last thing a redneck says before he dies?

A. - "Hold my beer and watch this!"

:p

Seriously, though. If I posted everything I've ever said that was dumb, it'd crash the forums permanently. :headbang:

Reminds me of one a few years ago. Before classes one morning, I was sitting around in the teachers lounge at my previous English school. Most of the other teachers were Brits and Aussies, who knew me as a good ole boy from Texas. I was hunched over a set of class files, when someone brought up the movie Deliverance. Without thinking, all of a sudden, "Squeal like a piggy, boy!" popped out of my mouth. The looks that brought. :D
Carthage and Troy
17-06-2005, 20:26
Would people be interested in participating in a thread where we share the stupidest thing we ever wrote in a thread on NationStates?

I have said some pretty dumb and outrageous stuff whilst in the heat of the moment in some of the debates I have had with people on here.

Can't actually remember anything specific though.
ProMonkians
17-06-2005, 20:38
In a lecture on marketing we were talking about basic market ecconomics and the discussion got round to why people actually have to go out and work for money. I got picked to answer a question about why people don't get paid for sleeping in bed all day - thinking on my feet I replied: in paid employment people get paid for providing something that other people want where as nothing ever gets produced in my bed...
...strangely some girls in the class found this quite funny...
Syniks
17-06-2005, 20:43
Would people be interested in participating in a thread where we share the stupidest thing we ever wrote in a thread on NationStates? I have said some pretty dumb and outrageous stuff whilst in the heat of the moment in some of the debates I have had with people on here. Can't actually remember anything specific though.
Not that you have done this, but IMO Claiming to be what one is not - then acting abused when caught out is probably the MOST stupid thing someone can do without getting Forumbanned...
The Sods
17-06-2005, 21:06
Keep in mind I was home schooled until grade 11 and about as naive as they come..and SHY

but back in high school I had a chemistry class with my boyfriend at the time.
We were doing an experiment and Chris (the boyfriend) and I were partners. In part of the experiment we had to feel the product between our fingers and document what it felt like...

So after all the students are finished and everyone is just sitting down, (I was just finishing cleaning up the lab station before sitting down) and I yell out,

"Chris, we forgot to touch and rub!"
Zincite
17-06-2005, 21:58
Me and my friends tend to get what I call "verbal dyslexia":

Me: *shows a picture I drew of teletubbies having gay sex*
Friend: *says something about the sun and hills getting involved*
Me: You realize the baby's a sun, right?
<long pause>
Friend: You mean the sun's a baby.
Me: Shutup.

Also, me and my best friend talk about locket raunchers a lot.

... and there are more but I don't remember them right now.
Lunatic Goofballs
17-06-2005, 22:57
"You don't have the balls." -said by me to a friend holding a 5-gallon bucket of liquefied manure over my head.
Daistallia 2104
18-06-2005, 12:58
"You don't have the balls." -said by me to a friend holding a 5-gallon bucket of liquefied manure over my head.

I can think of lot's of things one might reasonably say to *you* in that situation, but "You don't have the balls" is not at all reasonable. :D
Harlesburg
18-06-2005, 13:05
Two friends of mine where talking about Basketball about 10 years agoim 21 now and namely about joe Smith of the Goldenstate Notalents :/

Wel lbasically he was one of the top Draft picks of that year
And my reply to them saying this was
"Well he must be dumb to have a name like that!"

Boy was it funny...

It is better to remain silent and feign ignorance than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.-Or however it goes.
>_<
Lunatic Goofballs
18-06-2005, 13:06
I can think of lot's of things one might reasonably say to *you* in that situation, but "You don't have the balls" is not at all reasonable. :D

I've always had more balls than brains. :p
Daistallia 2104
18-06-2005, 13:11
I've always had more balls than brains. :p

And we need more of that in today's world.
Harlesburg
18-06-2005, 13:12
Me and my friends tend to get what I call "verbal dyslexia":

Me: *shows a picture I drew of teletubbies having gay sex*
Friend: *says something about the sun and hills getting involved*
Me: You realize the baby's a sun, right?
<long pause>
Friend: You mean the sun's a baby.
Me: Shutup.

Also, me and my best friend talk about locket raunchers a lot.

... and there are more but I don't remember them right now.
Potato/Tomato
Daistallia 2104
18-06-2005, 13:17
Potato/Tomato

Potaeto, Potato
Tomaeto, Tomato
Lets call the whole thing off!

:)
Dragons Bay
18-06-2005, 13:33
I told a friend about some of the problems between me and my other friend. Turns out that the first friend is a big mouth. I was thoroughly embarrassed, and now disgusted by my first friend. The first friend still isn't able to fathom the possibility that he had made a mistake - and I'm not the only victim.
Murkiness
18-06-2005, 13:38
Back in collage, I was living with my boyfriend and storytelling a White Wolf Vampire game. I baked a lemon meringue pie as munchy food and the two of us set off in his car. We hit something with the car causing the contents of the pie to slide into my lap and slowing us down even farther as we had already left latter than necessary to get there on time. When we arrived I apologized, with a perfectly straight face, for showing up “late, wet, and sticky.” Sadly it took me a few minutes to realize why people were snickering.
Murkiness
18-06-2005, 13:53
I was posting on a forum and I wrote that I went to school in a piece of artwork rather than a university. oops :)
Shut Up Eccles
18-06-2005, 14:28
Someone usually says something like, "Hurry up!" and I respond with the involintary "I'll hurry you up." I do this a lot and it all came crashing down when some one said, "Come on!" I'll let you fill in the blank.
El Caudillo
18-06-2005, 14:29
I like acting stupid, it's quite fun.

Agreed! :p
Daistallia 2104
18-06-2005, 14:40
"Yes" at the interview for my last employer (note this was suggested by my good friend, who also worked there).

Bad job.
Blu-tac
18-06-2005, 14:49
I can't do french, its like a foreign language to me
Potinum
18-06-2005, 16:20
Referring to a piece of Brass music with an 16 beat note at the end, I said to a mate "It is so long, you could die at the end of the life" meaning bar.

Four years of ribbing for that one. FOUR YEARS!!! I was only 9 years old for gods sake!!