NationStates Jolt Archive

There's this really cute girl in my class. Everytime I try to talk to her, I get the shakes. My heart pounds so fast it nearly explodes, I can barely breathe, I break into a cold sweat, and my teeth start clattering. Has anyone else ever experienced this? How do you guys deal with nervousness?

heheh, sorry didn't mean to laugh.

I went through the same thing. Exactly.

Deal with it? It is tough. I don't know that I ever suceeded in be totally calm until I got married ::grins::

My wife still teases me about "how cute [I was] when we were dating and how nervous [I was] around [her]."

Not much help I know. But that girl might think your nervousness is cute too ;)

good luck :)

What's nervousness? :D I was never nervous. (Then again, I'm a girl so...)

Well, simply put, you have to bite the bullet and talk to her. Not doing so will just make it worse.

heheh, sorry didn't mean to laugh.

I went through the same thing. Exactly.

Deal with it? It is tough. I don't know that I ever suceeded in be totally calm until I got married ::grins::

My wife still teases me about "how cute [I was] when we were dating and how nervous [I was] around [her]."

Not much help I know. But that girl might think your nervousness is cute too ;)

good luck :)

Thanks! I'm not looking for a date, though, just someone to talk to. Geez, just thinking about her gives me goosebumps! :eek:

Hmmm...I had exactly the same problem old chap, but thats another, long story...

I've been told by friends that 'confidence' helps, though I've never found this mythical ability in my repetoire..

Honestly? Just go up and ask her, don't even think about it really. Worst that happens? She says no. Nothing else is going to happen...

Just go talk to her! You're young, if it doesn't go the way you want, in time you won't even think about it... chalk it up to experience...

(I'm female too, but think of your age, and will this matter when you're 30?)

Just go talk to her! You're young, if it doesn't go the way you want, in time you won't even think about it... chalk it up to experience...

(I'm female too, but think of your age, and will this matter when you're 30?)

How do you know I'm young? I could a fat 50-year-old sitting around the house in his underwear! :D

(J/k, I'm not, I'm actually 19.)

Hey, it could always be worse. It took me a year to find a girl's phone number to call her because it was unlisted and she was in a Post Secondary Enrollment (go to community college for high school credit, kind of a super-honorss program) Option so I couldn't ask her.

How do you know I'm young? I could a fat 50-year-old sitting around the house in his underwear! :D

(J/k, I'm not, I'm actually 19.)

I knew this was you!

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/294/940/400/obese-fat_guy.jpg

How do you know I'm young? I could a fat 50-year-old sitting around the house in his underwear! :D

(J/k, I'm not, I'm actually 19.)

Nineteen?! Get your ass over there and talk to her!

I knew this was you!

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/294/940/400/obese-fat_guy.jpg

The link didn't work, guy. :(

I knew this was you!

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/294/940/400/obese-fat_guy.jpg

Oh man, you just HAD to post that didn't you... I'd gag, but I don't have a gag reflex, so I'll just be really disturbed. :headbang:

Nineteen?! Get your ass over there and talk to her!

Easy for you to say. You probably have something I lack: a spine. :(

The link didn't work, guy. :(

Lucky you.... it worked for me.... bleahhhh!!!!!

Oh man, you just HAD to post that didn't you... I'd gag, but I don't have a gag reflex, so I'll just be really disturbed. :headbang:

I have no soul.

I have no soul.

Hey, I'll trade my soul for your spine! :D

I have no soul.

And I bet you can't dance... :p

Curses he sounds like me...a 5 year older version of me.

Only now I'm pissed at said girl.

OOOOOkAAAYYYYYYY... trading body parts... hmmmm???

Just imagine the girl in her underwear :)
Umm, wait - that might backfire in ways you don't expect. ;)

I'm terrible w/romatic advice actually. But I hope that humor cheered you up.

Oh man, you just HAD to post that didn't you... I'd gag, but I don't have a gag reflex, so I'll just be really disturbed. :headbang:
in some circles, that could be a plus. do you do pr0n?

thread writer-
close your eyes. breathe deeply. picture yourself 32 plus years of age. in a house, alone. thrift store furniture. a dog nosing around an empty beer can on the filthy carpet. you wou;d go jack off again, but its difficult to find your groin due to your immense gut. you scratch your beard, and wonder.....what is it like to wear deodorant?


THAT COULD BE YOU!!!! YOU BETTER START MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE CHICKS REAL FAST, OR A DISMAL FUTURE AWAITS YOU.

There's this really cute girl in my class. Everytime I try to talk to her, I get the shakes. My heart pounds so fast it nearly explodes, I can barely breathe, I break into a cold sweat, and my teeth start clattering. Has anyone else ever experienced this? How do you guys deal with nervousness?

Think about it this way: if she doesn't like you, no big deal, you'll forget about it and move on, but if you never ask, you'll regret it for a lot longer.

Don't fear failure! It's the only route to success!

There's this really cute girl in my class. Everytime I try to talk to her, I get the shakes. My heart pounds so fast it nearly explodes, I can barely breathe, I break into a cold sweat, and my teeth start clattering. Has anyone else ever experienced this? How do you guys deal with nervousness?

Talk to her. Courage is not lack-of-fear, it's overcoming it. You can only do that through either discipline, or raw willpower.

Besides, the first time you actually face up to her, you'll find out one way or the other-either way, you have no reason to fear knowing, and regret's a bitch.

Thanks, everyone. :)

in some circles, that could be a plus. do you do pr0n?

thread writer-
close your eyes. breathe deeply. picture yourself 32 plus years of age. in a house, alone. thrift store furniture. a dog nosing around an empty beer can on the filthy carpet. you wou;d go jack off again, but its difficult to find your groin due to your immense gut. you scratch your beard, and wonder.....what is it like to wear deodorant?


THAT COULD BE YOU!!!! YOU BETTER START MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE CHICKS REAL FAST, OR A DISMAL FUTURE AWAITS YOU.
Whenever I try and imagine my future without a chick, I imagine myself rich and powerful with plenty of the cutest models around me. Kinda hard not to. It's coming to me.

Oh man, you just HAD to post that didn't you... I'd gag, but I don't have a gag reflex, so I'll just be really disturbed. :headbang:
A woman with no gag reflex? hmmm... I need to meet someone like that.

Anyway, to the original poster, practice makes perfect. Go and talk to ten girls at random, start just by approaching, smiling, and saying hi. Go, right now.

When you feel comfortable with that, try to add something else, like "how do you do?" or "what's your name?". You'll be totally comfortable talking to girls inside a month, then you'll see that getting close to this girl is not that much of a problem anymore.

You still here? I said go now!

thread writer-
close your eyes. breathe deeply. picture yourself 32 plus years of age. in a house, alone. thrift store furniture. a dog nosing around an empty beer can on the filthy carpet. you wou;d go jack off again, but its difficult to find your groin due to your immense gut. you scratch your beard, and wonder.....what is it like to wear deodorant?


THAT COULD BE YOU!!!! YOU BETTER START MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE CHICKS REAL FAST, OR A DISMAL FUTURE AWAITS YOU.
Ouch. Words hurt.
;)

Think of it this way:

What is the worst that could happen?

Ouch. Words hurt.
;)

The truth hurts. :(

Roll up.

Pop your collar.

Say your looking for a nice looking girl that can cook and do the laundry.

Impregnate her.



Works for me every time!

Think of it this way:

What is the worst that could happen?

Rejection, ridicule, a cold stare, derisive laughter, insults, embarrassment, humiliation, or worse. :(

Rejection, ridicule, a cold stare, derisive laughter, insults, embarrassment, humiliation, or worse. :(
Yeah, she could be a psyco stalker, like in that movie with Michael Douglas.

Rejection, ridicule, a cold stare, derisive laughter, insults, embarrassment, humiliation, or worse. :(

Well, if you're well liked (not necessarily popular, per se), that won't happen. Secondly, if she does that you shouldn't be in love with her anyway.

Besides, phone conversations are always easier.

Well, if you're well liked (not necessarily popular, per se), that won't happen. Secondly, if she does that you shouldn't be in love with her anyway.

Besides, phone conversations are always easier.

Well, I do have her phone number. I got it in a clever way. The other day, I needed a ride home, so I asked if I could use her phone. She let me. When I went home and checked the caller I.D. ...voila! However:

A)I'm not brave enough to have a conversation with her (hell, I could barely ask to use her phone!)

B)I'm reluctant to call her, 'cause she might think I'm a stalker

Well, I do have her phone number. I got it in a clever way. The other day, I needed a ride home, so I asked if I could use her phone. She let me. When I went home and checked the caller I.D. ...voila! However:

A)I'm not brave enough to have a conversation with her (hell, I could barely ask to use her phone!)

B)I'm reluctant to call her, 'cause she might think I'm a stalker
That IS a tad stalkerish.

What I did is I had a great laughable conversation with the girl, her cell phone came into the conversation, I exclaimed that why don't I have her number. As if we were such good friends it was a terrible thing not to have each other's number.

Worked just fine. She happily handed out her number.


If I were you (though I'm not, you remember that), I'd ask for her number before I call her. Avoids any awkward talking between you two.

Well, I do have her phone number. I got it in a clever way. The other day, I needed a ride home, so I asked if I could use her phone. She let me. When I went home and checked the caller I.D. ...voila! However:

A)I'm not brave enough to have a conversation with her (hell, I could barely ask to use her phone!)

B)I'm reluctant to call her, 'cause she might think I'm a stalker



A). Dazzling answer under construction

B.) Well, you're only a stalker if you keep calling it and often. Perhaps asking a friend of hers for it would alleviate this... and kind of suggest your intentions beforehand.

That IS a tad stalkerish.

What I did is I had a great laughable conversation with the girl, her cell phone came into the conversation, I exclaimed that why don't I have her number. As if we were such good friends it was a terrible thing not to have each other's number.

Worked just fine. She happily handed out her number.


If I were you (though I'm not, you remember that), I'd ask for her number before I call her. Avoids any awkward talking between you two.

Yeah, I suggested asking a friend (in my case it was unlisted so I had no choice). I called her, things didn't work out immediately; however, she gave me her cell number... does this mean something? :confused:

Get her screen name first, that's really what I do with girls. It's much easier to talk to her on the internet at a slower pace and make her laugh and salivate. Then making the transistion to phone conversations is a snap and before you know it, you'll be paying child support!!

I don't know who her friends are, if she has any.

The best way to get some backbone is to stop that she is "that great". Stop caring.

Example: Go talk to the most unattractive girl you know. See how easy it is? Why is that? It's likely because you don't give a damn what she thinks.

The key is to stop thinking that the people you are attracted to are utterly amazing. They are people no different from the others you encounter in life. You can only know how great a person is after a while in a realtionship. Be aware of the fact that your attraction is an emotional feeling, whether or not she wants you shouldn't affect you to a great degree. If someone you are attracted to doesn't want you, screw them. They are no more special than any other person. In fact, if you are a good guy, and she rejects you that is a sign that she is retarded. Would you want to date a moron?

I don't know who her friends are, if she has any.
If she has no friends then....this should be a snap.

The key is to stop thinking that the people you are attracted to are utterly amazing. They are people no different from the others you encounter in life. You can only know how great a person is after a while in a realtionship. Be aware of the fact that your attraction is an emotional feeling, whether or not she wants you shouldn't affect you to a great degree. If someone you are attracted to doesn't want you, screw them. They are no more special than any other person. In fact, if you are a good guy, and she rejects you that is a sign that she is retarded. Would you want to date a moron?

That's pretty much the way I feel about it.

My advice: stop worrying and just act!

The best way to get some backbone is to stop that she is "that great". Stop caring.

Example: Go talk to the most unattractive girl you know. See how easy it is? Why is that? It's likely because you don't give a damn what she thinks.

The key is to stop thinking that the people you are attracted to are utterly amazing. They are people no different from the others you encounter in life. You can only know how great a person is after a while in a realtionship. Be aware of the fact that your attraction is an emotional feeling, whether or not she wants you shouldn't affect you to a great degree. If someone you are attracted to doesn't want you, screw them. They are no more special than any other person. In fact, if you are a good guy, and she rejects you that is a sign that she is retarded. Would you want to date a moron?

Thanks a lot! :D

If she has no friends then....this should be a snap.

I don't know, that could be good or bad. :(

I don't know, that could be good or bad. :(
Wouldn't someone with hardley any friends cling onto anyone that would acknowledge them? I should've taken advantage of that when I had the chance....but nooooo...

Thanks again, you guys are the greatest. :p

Wouldn't someone with hardley any friends cling onto anyone that would acknowledge them? I should've taken advantage of that when I had the chance....but nooooo...

I'd be worried it would lead to some kind of disturbing obsession, so I'd stay clear of the desparate.

Thanks again, you guys are the greatest.

No problem, most of us have been around the block when it comes to stuff like this. With age comes experience I guess.

Man, I wish you guys could be there tomorrow! :D

Man, I wish you guys could be there tomorrow! :D

Good luck! Make sure to tell about it. :)

Good luck! Make sure to tell about it. :)

Thanks, will do. :)

My advice: stop worrying and just act!

Also, go lite on that coward label you want to slap on yourself. Apprehensive is acceptable, but to many, the other only has one cure.

Liverbreath']Also, go lite on that coward label you want to slap on yourself. Apprehensive is acceptable, but to many, the other only has one cure.
Yeah, and we are not going to be buying you rounds and rounds of alcohol! Maybe a beer if you have an amusing story, but that's it!

There's this really cute girl in my class. Everytime I try to talk to her, I get the shakes. My heart pounds so fast it nearly explodes, I can barely breathe, I break into a cold sweat, and my teeth start clattering. Has anyone else ever experienced this? How do you guys deal with nervousness?

Get a ID cart of a non US nation, it is a good start against cowardice. :)

Get a ID cart of a non US nation, it is a good start against cowardice. :)

What the hell!? :confused:

Get a ID cart of a non US nation, it is a good start against cowardice. :)

all americans are cowards eh? really smart.

all americans are cowards eh? really smart.
Your words...
Not all, MOST! :)

Well, I suppose it is possible that if you ask her out on a date she'll plunge a knife into your spine, but if she doesn't want to go out with you she'll probably just say, no thanks, and that's not going to kill you. Generally, if you don't ask women out out, you won't get a date. I know in Australia women will sometimes ask men out, but they seem more liberated than in most other countries, and even then men are still expected to do most of the asking. If you ask her out, nothing bad will happen. You can deal with rejection. It's a set back, not the end of the world.

Your words...
Not all, MOST! :)

and what your some how not? dear god...

Your words...
Not all, MOST! :)
A smilie does not grant license to flamebait. Knock it off, Bushrepublican liars. NOW.

~ Frisbeeteria ~
NationStates Forum Moderator
The One-Stop Rules Shop

A smilie does not grant license to flamebait. Knock it off, Bushrepublican liars. NOW.

~ Frisbeeteria ~
NationStates Forum Moderator
The One-Stop Rules Shop

You are showing a very biased side of your Moderation (again).
Try to read the previous page again and you'll see that he puts words in my mouth that i did not type, therefore the "your words, not mine".(my post)

BTW I ask a excuse for this and if not at least a same warning towards all those people here that spread very aggresive words and real flaiming towards non US posters.

I understand that you are to young and pro US biased to understand it, but nevertheless try harder,to, at least have a small apperance of neutrality.

You are showing a very biased side of your Moderation (again).
Try to read the previous page again and you'll see that he puts words in my mouth that i did not type, therefore the "your words, not mine".(my post)

BTW I ask a excuse for this and if not at least a same warning towards all those people here that spread very aggresive words and real flaiming towards non US posters.

I understand that you are to young and pro US biased to understand it, but nevertheless try harder,to, at least have a small apperance of neutrality.

what are you talking about, me puting words in your mouth?

all americans are cowards

Yep, right here you did

you implied that really nicely with your first post.

Yep, right here you did
Nope, I believe you made the initial claim with Get a ID cart of a non US nation, it is a good start against cowardice. :)
I naively assumed that you would read my warning and consider that it included ALL your prior flamebait posts that you ended with an emoticon. Since it seems you need to have it spelled out, I will state for the record that I was warning against BOTH posts that I noticed this behavior in, not just the one.

The implication is clear from BOTH posts that you consider being an American tantamount to cowardice. That, sir, is flamebait, not mod bias.

~ Frisbeeteria ~
NationStates Forum Moderator
The One-Stop Rules Shop

ALL your prior flamebait posts that you ended with an emoticon. ~ Frisbeeteria ~
NationStates Forum Moderator
The One-Stop Rules Shop

Wich are? the "ALL"??? You mean those silly 2? Seems like you tend to say that there are others? I am hardly on NS last months but I remember you a bit.

Why have I never see a warning towards US posters that post things like "french surendering monleys", "all the German are Nazis" "Eu cowardice" and many others. You are the most biased mod I ever saw in 4 years Nation State. It is because of people like you that Stephistan, Zepistan and other critical posters left NS. You, Frisbeeteria are making it soundin like a Republican party meeting crossed with the tolerance of Stalin.

Can it, Bushrepublican Liars, while you still have the option to do so. Steph and Zepp left of their own free will (or did they leave at all?) and in your zeal you are skating very close to a dangerous edge. Take a breath, step away, and come back once you've calmed down.

Wich are? the "ALL"??? You mean those silly 2? Seems like you tend to say that there are others? I am hardly on NS last months but I remember you a bit.

Why have I never see a warning towards US posters that post things like "french surendering monleys", "all the German are Nazis" "Eu cowardice" and many others. You are the most biased mod I ever saw in 4 years Nation State. It is because of people like you that Stephistan, Zepistan and other critical posters left NS. You, Frisbeeteria are making it soundin like a Republican party meeting crossed with the tolerance of Stalin.

Perhaps you are not looking for posts which tell people to knock it off -- they exist, because I've made them and so have other mods here.

Now I strongly suggest that you moderate your attitude, because little remarks like "You, Frisbeeteria are making it soundin like a Republican party metting crossed with the tolerance of Stalin." and "You are the most biased mod I ever saw..." really are not endearing you to any of us. They skate pretty close to flaming if not enter into it.

If you are this upset, I suggest you may want to step away from the computer and, perhaps, take up your complaints in a more appropriate manner -- such as asking for moderator clarification in the Moderation forum or, if you feel it necessary, by taking it to Salusa@nationstates.net.

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/294/...ese-fat_guy.jpg


/angry :mad:

That's not exactly contributing...

Hey mods, flamer guy, your hijacking a thread. Take it up somewhere else, will ya?

bump

I couldn't do it. Damn it, I just couldn't do it... :headbang:

I couldn't do it. Damn it, I just couldn't do it... :headbang:
rofl, you might as well have quoted me on that. I said that for perhaps a good two or three weeks before anything significant.

Well, that's too bad. Still, you should try again and see if you can do it. Hopefully you can contact her over the summer.

All right!

I have this exact same problem man, but you'd probably not know it from meeting me because I work a lot to overcome it. I manage not only to be outgoing, but charming and funny, and even though I'm not popular because I don't give a damn about popularity, most of the time when I want to I get the girl. It's actually baffling to some people that I can get the trendy, hot girls when I'm fat and dress like last century.

So, how do I do it?

There's no "trick," no "secret" that will make you Tom Cruise all of a sudden. All it boils downt to eventually is your guts.

You have to force yourself. Just do it. Start small, find something you don't dare to do but that's no big deal, and do it. Strike up a conversation with the checkout girl at the 7-11. If you only exchange monosyllables, that's no biggie, you'll do better next time. The important is to not give up. It's okay to fall if you get back up. Try something else. Ask questions in class. Jaywalk. Things like that. Whenever you're kinda afraid to do something, don't really dare, then say to yourself: that's reason enough to do it. And make yourself. Make yourself jump into that pile of mud. Don't give up. Don't give up. You'll have setbacks but that's no big deal as long as you keep having that self-discipline of making yourself do daring things. Talk to people around class that you don't necessarily talk to. Don't just shake hands with someone, shake hands, look them in the eye, smile, maybe even tap them on the shoulder. Even if they think it's weird, so what? Let 'em! Force yourself to be outgoing. Even if it only works for three seconds and then you become sullen again, that's okay. Shore up your courage and butt in the conversation (not too rudely). Etc. etc.

Step up.

Another thing is that confidence is mostly about feeling good. If you feel good about yourself, you won't be afraid to be outgoing, you won't second guess yourself, you won't feel uneasy about yourself. That's what the James Brown song is about. ;) And, like most moral states, feelin' good mentally comes from feelin' good physically. Which is why I would recommend taking care of yourself :

1. Exercise. Not just because it gives you a good-looking body (which it doesn't necessarily), but because it'll make your body change and, more importantly, change because of your actions. You'll see that you can have an impact on what your body is like, that you have more control over yourself, and that will make you feel good about yourself. You'll realise that you can run through flights of stairs quicker and easier, and that'll make you feel good. Maybe it sounds stupid, but it's the little things that amount to a better state of mind. The sports I would recommend most would be some martial art, because that boosts confidence even more. The coolest--and also gentlest--men I've met were accomplished martial artists. There's nothing like knowing you can kick the ass of everyone in a room to give you an aura of self-confidence.

2. Practise hygiene. You probably do already, but don't just wash yourself. Condition your hair. Exfoliate. Moisturize. See how it makes the blotches on your skin look smaller, how it makes you look better. Don't be afraid to wink at yourself in the mirror. Take off your bathrobe, see how the exercise is making the muscles in your body stand out. Convince yourself that you're pretty, even if you aren't. It sounds completely shallow, but then again shallow people are more confident than you so it may be a good idea to take a hint from them. Don't take it too far and try to become a metrosexual, but just take care of yourself enough that there's a little change for the better. Something to feel good about.

3. Dress well. I'm a veritable sloth. Seriously. Left to my own devices, I will just linger in bed all day, watch TV, eat, and do nothing. So when I had major exams to revise to and no work or other obligations to get up for in the morning, what I did every time I got up was to dress up in a nice suit, with a button-down shirt and a tie, even if I was just going to stay home all day. When you dress up you feel good, and that morning routine of dressing up gave me that initial momentum to dive in my books and get in a studious mood, something which would've been much harder if I'd been lounging around in pyjama pants. Now I'm not saying you should change your wardrobe and make yourself over into Zoolander. As I said, I'm not trendy. But I watch out to color-coordinate my outfits, to wear clean, well-ironed clothes, so that when I look at myself in the mirror I can have that little twinge of pride and feel good as I walk out the door.

As I said, this is all very stupid but, trust me, it works. It's the little things which make you feel nice which give you the upbeat temperament that make you overcome your shyness a little bit. They won't solve your problem, but they'll be a step in the right direction because you'll realize that you can feel better than you do right now, that you can look and dress better, that you can improve.

There are plenty of tricks like this, but ultimately it boils down to you. You're the only person that can make yourself step up. You're the only person who can have that resolve.

Oh, and here's a great pickup line: "Hi."

And don't call her thinking that you are going to have this long, meaningful conversation. Just make it long enough to say "Hi, can't talk much now, but let's meet tomorrow." Two minutes, tops.

That should smooth things out.

Be a man! Give her a Danza slap.

If you are nervous,just wait for a while to build confidence,walk up to her and say:I can't take It any longer,You are a hot,sexy individual.I need you.

I couldn't do it. Damn it, I just couldn't do it... :headbang:*puts on psychological counselor attitude*

You have to stop being concerned about what other people think of you. They will not think less of you if you are rejected. And rejection is not the end of the world. I used to think the same way -- I was afraid. Even when calling another student to ask for the homework, I was afraid of what other people would think. I had to convince myself that nothing would happen. But now I can, at times, be an extremely social being. After all, what can possibly happen? If you're rejected, big deal. If you don't ask, you'll never know. Learn to take risks! Go into the world with your flag held high, and to heck with anyone who thinks you shouldn't be there! That is my advice. *takes off psychological counselor attitude*

You can now have the honor of having received advice from the Supreme Ruler of the Universe. :D

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

Just think of her as "one of the guys". Treat her like she's just a friend of yours, then take it from there, once you get really comfortable. (And make sure you're nice to her!)