NationStates Jolt Archive

Oh DAMN, this is WRONG!

http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/storyae0d.html

I couldn't help but laugh, though. I'm going straight to Hell -- do not pass Go -- do not collect $200. :p

That is sad and it isn't right.

"Well, Julie's a very special child," said her social studies teacher Jenny Giles., "and she has very special needs. Julie exhibits the signs of a child who needs a little extra help with her education. She never volunteers to answer questions in class, writes sloppily, always with her pens in her mouth, and she's reluctant to socialize with other children, just staring as they offer their hands in friendship. A couple of the other teachers and I had a meeting, and we decided that Julie would be better off in special education classes."
Wow! She writes sloppily! Imagine that! Most people without thumbs, or hands, or arms below the elbow, can write perfectly in at least three languages!
And she doesnt socialize well? Gee, I wonder why. Maybe its because the other kids make fun of her while your not looking.

I hope this story is some kind of sick joke.

Armless Girl Wonders Why She's Always Picked Last For Dodgeball; Legless Boy Voices Same Concerns at Kickball Tryout

The bolded is what gets me...

EDIT: I actually think this is a fabricated story. The picture was probably what sparked the writers into the fabrication. *shrug* That's only my speculation however.

What the fuck?

What is it with some people?

I don't know whether to laugh or to...uh. Never mind.

Ah, its a joke site.
Click the 'front page' button at the top of the page.

Ah, its a joke site.
Click the 'front page' button at the top of the page.

AH! Good. I can laugh.

...Wait, no, I can't. That's odd.

This story has some of the worst puns ever in it, "she's reluctant to socialize with other children, just staring as they offer their HANDS in friendship." please tell me that was intened to be funny. this is just wrong, and whats really sad about it is how naivee these people are as to what they are saying.

Ah, its a joke site.
Click the 'front page' button at the top of the page.

Aha! I was right! *feels proud of himself*

It's a fucking joke!

God, people are so thick.

lol

pretty funny eZine

Inside:

http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/Volume6.7/weather.jpg Tomorrow’s Forecast: 90% Chance Of Weather

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http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/Volume6.7/needles.jpg Michigan Basketball Season Greatest Argument For Euthanasia. Ever.

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http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/Volume6.7/coke.jpg MSA: Coca-Cola ‘Too Delicious’ To Stand Trial

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http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/Volume6.7/pope.jpg Pope Preparing To Surprise Everyone With Good Friday Death, Easter Resurrection

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http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/Volume6.7/normalppl.jpg ‘Normal People Scare Me’ T-Shirt Not Funny Anymore

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http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/Volume6.7/sockpuppets.jpg Doctors Use Sock-Puppets To Tell Unsuspecting Freshman He Has AIDS

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http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/Volume6.7/facebook.jpg Student Not Yet Masturbated To Facebook Profile

The bolded is what gets me...

EDIT: I actually think this is a fabricated story. The picture was probably what sparked the writers into the fabrication. *shrug* That's only my speculation however.
It's pretty obvious it's a fabricated story...and I'm with you about them finding the pic and writing it.

Sick, twisted, messed up...but still funny. GOD, I'm SO going to Hell. :p

Wow! She writes sloppily! Imagine that! Most people without thumbs, or hands, or arms below the elbow, can write perfectly in at least three languages!
And she doesnt socialize well? Gee, I wonder why. Maybe its because the other kids make fun of her while your not looking.

I hope this story is some kind of sick joke.
Yes it is a joke ... look at the main site

With other stories such as "forcast 90 percent chance for weather"
and "Baby-Delivering Stork Retires, Replaced By Dump-Truck-Driving Panda" lol

from the sports section:

God Requests He No Longer Be Affiliated With Notre Dame Athletics

2005-04-01 - Sports and Entertainment
SOUTH BEND, IN – In a move sure to turn heads in both the NCAA and Catholic Church, God Himself has requested that he no longer be affiliated with the Fighting Irish athletic program, citing the fact that they’re “stupid bad.”

LOL! Yea now that I looked at it deeper, yea it is funny as hell.

Yes it is a joke ... look at the main site

With other stories such as "forcast 90 percent chance for weather"
and "Baby-Delivering Stork Retires, Replaced By Dump-Truck-Driving Panda" lol

Also quote:
Ah, its a joke site.
Click the 'front page' button at the top of the page.

;)

National News:

- New Program Urges Students To ‘Fuck It!’ (http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/story175e.html?fpvol=6&fpiss=7&vol=6&iss=7&sto=3)

- Job Loss Problem Solved By Renaming Unemployed Workers “DJs” (http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/story0230.html?fpvol=6&fpiss=7&vol=6&iss=7&sto=7)

It's a fucking joke!

God, people are so thick.

I'm not thick. I just look a little heavy in these pants 'cos they're a bit small for me, that's all. ;)

It's trying too hard to be The Onion.

It's trying too hard to be The Onion.

I was thinking the exact same thing.

lol

rofl!!!!!

noarms

Are you sure that these articles aren't some kind of paraody?

Well I found it rather funny (see above for details) specially the picture, I know i'm a piece of shit and my sons or daughters are going to be the same, but I feel thick today, besides everyone could do with a good laugh :D :D :D :D :D

The best part of the article was the last paragraph.

"I thought I was learning okay in my classes, but they told me I had to be in different ones," Julie said. "I guess they must be right. After all, who could argue with the unbounded wisdom and compassion of middle school teachers?"

http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/storyd447.html?fpvol=3&fpiss=9&vol=3&iss=5&sto=4

This one is waaaaay worse

EDIT: 100 posts woo!!!