NationStates Jolt Archive

If you had a cult what would its tenets be... (please no one come in here trying to covert anyone please)

My cult would require everyone to wear purple pants on tuesdays and to eat nothing but wheat and water. And everyone must pray to the sky 456 times a day to hope that the magical soul of the flightless bird comes to save them.....
and of couse all hail zodd...

I MUST KNOW ALL!!

My cult would be totally militant. Everyone has to do four hours of physical exercise a day (except me) two hours weapons training (except me) and two hours doing jobs around the encampment.

When not working or training they have to study Clausewitz and try and apply his doctrine to their daily lives. I would be referred to only as Ares, and more or less worshipped as the human manifestation of the abstract concept of WAR. Those who manage to serve me well and achieve total balance within the Triad of Victory will join me in my apotheosis and conquer the Earth!

And of course, it is INCREDIBLY important that the good looking female members of the cult are all my wives. Thats the essential bit. Or the world will freeze in another ice age caused by eco-terrorists.

Everyone would be forced to pay 75% of their wage and to convert a person per week.

I've often thought about what my own cult would be like.

The theology would probably be heavily influenced by taoism, i.e. a religion of the Way. Practically, this would turn into a self-realization religion, as practicing "the Way" would basically mean "be the best you can be at what you do." The two Commandments would be Obedience, and the Categorical Imperative.

Practically, the faithful would be split into two parts. There would be the laity, who would live in society as normal people, except a bit evangelizing and with a few weird rites, and who would tithe a sizeable proportion of their income to the Sect. Since, as I said before, the Sect would encourage elitism, even though there would be few believers they would mainly be in the wealthy and influential layers of society, which would ensure income and protection from pesky government. Also, the Sect would oblige followers to take up martial arts and follow a healthy diet. That way, they will have more confidence, self-control and poise from the martial arts, and live longer because of the diet, which, along with the elitism, will do a lot to improve the standing of the Sect.

Then there would be the clergy, who would be like a monastic order led by the Prophet. The monks would trained as soldiers to protect the sect against the police if we were exposed as a fraud, to the death if necessary, and to enforce Sect doctrine on heretics (Inquisition) and unbelievers (Mossad). The nuns would be basically trained in the arts of serving the Prophet in, er, every way He wishes.

And, needless to say, the Prophet would be me. :D

My cult would be to beat up any evanglistic cults ass. There would be no prothlytising and no giving money to anyone for nothing.

... and of couse all hail zodd
King Zodd? The dwarven warlord?

*bows down low*

In Zodd we trust!

My cult would be to beat up any evanglistic cults ass. There would be no prothlytising and no giving money to anyone for nothing.
So your cult would have no conversion and no taking of moneY? Wants the point? Well at least tell me that when the spaceship comes they can drink the cool aid?

Only Pirate-Ninjas are allowed in my cult.

My cult would be based around "progressive enlightenment" by use of powerful mind altering drugs. As you progress through the order you would be given more powerful drugs. The core tenant would be the denial of personal property. ALL personal property. I of course would be "The Abstainer," I would not use any drugs and I would be "burdened" by all of my followers property. I think you get the idea of where this is going..... :p

Zodd is great all hail him!



(I just made up Zodd, wHy is he real?)

My cult would preach self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-reliance. We would emphasise mental and physical exercise.

My cult would be based around "progressive enlightenment" by use of powerful mind altering drugs. As you progress through the order you would be given more powerful drugs. The core tenant would be the denial of personal property. ALL personal property. I of course would be "The Abstainer," I would not use any drugs and I would be "burdened" by all of my followers property. I think you get the idea of where this is going..... :p

Thats what the manson family was... you don't got a list of enemies around do ya?

My cult would be based around "progressive enlightenment" by use of powerful mind altering drugs. As you progress through the order you would be given more powerful drugs. The core tenant would be the denial of personal property. ALL personal property. I of course would be "The Abstainer," I would not use any drugs and I would be "burdened" by all of my followers property. I think you get the idea of where this is going..... :p

So basically a drug dealer?

Zodd is great all hail him!



(I just made up Zodd, wHy is he real?)
Ermmm... i'm not actually sure. Anyone here play Warlords, that card game? I think Zodd is one of the main dwarven warlords, but i could be wrong.

I'm such a geek.

Ermmm... i'm not actually sure. Anyone here play Warlords, that card game? I think Zodd is one of the main dwarven warlords, but i could be wrong.

I'm such a geek.
oh okay new name then.... Bob?

All hail bob? No wait that doesn't sound to good... Ahh I got it....

All Hail Beb King of all he sees plus 100 m beyond that!

My cult would be based on materialistic greed, the followers would be subdued into complaisancy by hours of mindless entertainement, while education would consist of only what is necessary to create a technically competent workforce and a blindly patriotic population that believes I never tell lies.

My cult would worship an ordinary fellow, someone who in his modest and humble ways exemplifies everything that is special about the divinity inherent in humanity. This fellow would live in a nondescript apartment in some out-of-the way little city called Norfolk, where it's always too hot, and he'd lead a pretty ordinary life scraping for a living (like the rest of us should appropriately aspire to). For argument's sake, let's call him ...Brad.

My cult would be based on materialistic greed, the followers would be subdued into complaisancy by hours of mindless entertainement, while education would consist of only what is necessary to create a technically competent workforce and a blindly patriotic population that believes I never tell lies.
so your a republican....

Only very hot chicks allowed.

so your a republican....

;)

Beb, the lord and master, has decided a new rule "All men must by law yell out during first light of every forth thrusday 'I see the light and my legs feel like mustard!' then they MUST shave all the hair off thier bodies".

WHy do THEY do things without telling US!

:headbang:

If I had a cult...

1) Everyone would be required to acknowledge My superiority, preferably by throwing themselves or some of their possessions into the Eternal Flame, over which My throne is located;

2) Everyone must perform at least 8 hours of manual labor a week, except for Me and the Faithful (those who have severed one of their limbs to be thrown into the Eternal Flame);

3) All adult males are required to perform military service, especially by attacking and defeating members of rival cults;

4) Everyone must be willing to sacrifice themselves in a moment for Me and My ideals.

However, it has its benefits. Membership includes:

1) Communication with anyone else in the Cult, by ten-way wrist communication devices;

2) An ability to fly and destroy enemy soldiers with one's eyes;

3) Immortality;

and 4) If they survive and become one of the Faithful, they may eventually become a code-named Warlord with additional powers.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

If you can call a large group of lunatics of both genders leaping into mudpits and tackling eachother repeatedly to be a cult...

...then call it mine. :)

My cult would be called "The Polkadot Berets". Rules would include:


The rest of the clothing must include a jacket of some kind, a pair of jeans and badges/patches of the wearer's choice
Obviously, I shall be the leader, with my tasteful polkadot beret and multitude of jackets for all occasions
All shall worship me blindly - as far as they are concerned, I are infallible ;)
Our primary goals shall be threefold:
Look cool
Campaign for human rights
Look cool some more
There may be other missions provided by me, but otherwise the aforesaid directives are paramount to membership

My cult would require mandatory donations to a mysterious bank account where the Divine Over Lady(wink wink) would use such funds to better the cult followers, by allowing them to have 3 meals a day, with coffee and chocolate fudge cake.

Orgies of course would be optional and only open to those consenting adults of over 18 years. Micheal Jackson would not be allowed to sleep with children.
And all followers would recieve tickets to the Maroon5/Sissor Sisters/Franz Ferdiand concert in Dublin in August!

Hail Zodd!

He should make appearances with that sound: ddozzz... Zodd! And there he is.

And there should be spaceships. And Dr. Pepper. And every woman would have to wear those old Kirk-era outfits. Buttons must always make weird sounds when pushed. Colored buttons. And I want one of those huge TV screens in front of my couch. No Klingons, though. Male Klingons that is.

And I want to be able to use the Force. Hehehehe. That'd be cool!

If I had a cult, I would demand that they build me a vast temple. With blackjack. And hookers. In fact, forget the temple.

If I had a cult, I would demand that they build me a vast temple. With blackjack. And hookers. In fact, forget the temple.

YAY! :D

Our nation here is arguably a cult. We like it that way.