NationStates Jolt Archive

Today I did my Language Arts 9 (English) final for Romeo and Juliet. I did a persuasive essay on how the deaths of Romeo and Juliet were too high a price to pay for peace in Verona.

Well I had a lack of ideas. So after talking about how there are no more children to inherit the fortune of the families, my argument went a little more wayside.

I talked about how the Capulets and Montagues would eventually disappear due to the lack of suitable heirs. The families must hold a good grip of power in the city, most likely political. The absence of such families would create an economic hole in the city, as well as political chaos. I ended that paragraph comparing the future of Verona with the chaos in Iraq right now now that the former Iraqi regime is gone.

Then I talked about how the Prince said that some will be punished for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet. That since he is the prince, he holds a lot of power in Verona. He could likely cause many innocents to die needlessly, and I compared it to the deaths of hundreds of innocents who were linked to the Hitler bomb plot.

I ended the essay (second-to-last-paragraph) with a note that I am not exaggerating. That the worst case scenario must be prepared for. I just rambled on about that for 5 sentences.

Think I overdid it? I do terrible when finding examples to support my argument (thanks NS!) so I had to make do with comparing the book to real-life events. Any comments?

Prepare for that in your classroom. :D As long as you didn't over exagerate you should be fine.

Sounds good to me. I just did something like that a few weeks ago only I had to tell who I though was the strongest character in the play. Wow that was random. :D

Sounds like a great essay Colodia! You’ll probably get a fairly good grade on it if your teacher values creativity and originality at all.

I couldn't imagine that going down well in Scotland, but we have a completely different education system. As such, I really can't comment at all. I wouldn't worry about it though, if you can help yourself, as it won't make a difference either way how worried you are. Of course such advice is always going to go unheeded, if it was so easy not to worry, none of us would!

From what I have seen of American essays before, it doesn't seem too bad. I doubt it will fail.

ha...i had to write the same exact essay for my English 9 class.

The "note: i'm serious" bit is entirely out of place in any kind of essay for school.

If you're going to worry about something, worry about it. The paper's grader doesnt need to be lectured on the merits of "considering and preparing for the worst case."

Detracts entirely from the focus of the essay, and focus is a standard in grading and in good writing in general.

Whoah...coincidence...My english final was over the same stuff, and I'm in a different state

Ha. I got off easy, my Romeo and Juliet essay was on the figurative language. :D Anyway, I'm sure you'll do fine. Teachers love it when you throw in real-world examples, so long as they're solid.

I'd have to read the essay (will you post?) but sounds good to THIS English teacher. I might raise an eyebrow at the Hitler reference depending upon how you handled it though.

I don't know what your teacher will think, but I just want to wish you luck.

I couldn't imagine that going down well in Scotland, but we have a completely different education system. As such, I really can't comment at all. I wouldn't worry about it though, if you can help yourself, as it won't make a difference either way how worried you are. Of course such advice is always going to go unheeded, if it was so easy not to worry, none of us would!

From what I have seen of American essays before, it doesn't seem too bad. I doubt it will fail.
agreed, in the UK English essays are far more about analysis of the language used, rather than the content (or it was at least when i did my GCSE's)

but the essay sounds interesting enough. if you've answered the question then you'll be fine - english is a broad, normative subject with 'no right or wrong answers'... so even if your answer's a little "odd" (or exaggerated) it can still get plenty of marks :cool:

agreed, in the UK English essays are far more about analysis of the language used, rather than the content (or it was at least when i did my GCSE's)

but the essay sounds interesting enough. if you've answered the question then you'll be fine - english is a broad, normative subject with 'no right or wrong answers'... so even if your answer's a little "odd" (or exaggerated) it can still get plenty of marks :cool:

The key words there need to be 'answering the question'. That's the way it is here. It's not about knowing it (well, it is, but...) it's more about knowing how to answer the question. Did you use proper essay format?

This means
- Introduction
- Body, with each issue/concept of significant importance in its own paragraph
- Conclusion

In essence that means:
- Tell them what you're going to tell them
- Tell them
- Tell them what you just told them

And I know, you wish you had that guide before the exam. But if that worries you, whatever you do, don't read my next paragraph.

With essays, you're also supposed to keep them formal. Essentially, this means avoiding the use of 'I', 'my opinion' etc. This can be difficult, but if you can pull it off well, then you should be fine.

Anything like "note: I'm serious" should NOT be included in an essay. Maybe if it was something that you were doing in class, and you wanted the teacher to have a look at to see if you're doing well, but not for a final. If you've discussed the issues well in the essay they will know you're serious.

Mind, I only ever did Standard English for my HSC (NSW, Australian Yr 12), and then only because I didn't have a choice (I didn't REALLY need it).