NationStates Jolt Archive

I got really drunk one night and was trying to climb up some stairs to get into my apartment when I missed a step and fell down the stairs. When I came to Fluffy the Great Dog, creator of Nonsequitorians (what we now know as humans), revealed to me irrefutable evidence that evolution is false. For, you see, he created humanity. That's right. Fluffy the Great Dog created humanity.

Back before time and everything existed, Fluffy used to hunt Snuffleumpalus, his mortal enemy who seeks to usurp his power by stealing the dogtag of divinity that Fluffy wears, in the golden plains of heavenly delight. After finally cornering Snuffleumpalus, Fluffy ripped him to shreds on the spot, scattering his body across the golden plains. The Fluffy, who had been hunting for a really long time, decided he needed to sleep, so he fell asleep. Thus, night and day came to exist.

When Fluffy awoke, he looked at one of the bones before him and decided to bury it. Thus, mountains and all of the animals were created. Once he buried it, Fluffy felt he had to go to the bathroom really, really bad and so he hiked his leg on the burial spot of the bone. Thus, all of the rivers, oceans, and rain of the world came to exist, with the deserts being where Fluffy's stream missed. Then, Fluffy shook off all of his dandruff, resulting in the creation of snow, and ran into the forest of godhood to take a dump, which he forgot to bury as he spotted Snuffleumpalus in the distance, preparing to run away.

And thus, the story of the creation of humanity is complete.

I got really drunk one night and was trying to climb up some stairs to get into my apartment when I missed a step and fell down the stairs. When I came to Fluffy the Great Dog, creator of Nonsequitorians (what we now know as humans), revealed to me irrefutable evidence that evolution is false. For, you see, he created humanity. That's right. Fluffy the Great Dog created humanity.

Back before time and everything existed, Fluffy used to hunt Snuffleumpalus, his mortal enemy who seeks to usurp his power by stealing the dogtag of divinity that Fluffy wears, in the golden plains of heavenly delight. After finally cornering Snuffleumpalus, Fluffy ripped him to shreds on the spot, scattering his body across the golden plains. The Fluffy, who had been hunting for a really long time, decided he needed to sleep, so he fell asleep. Thus, night and day came to exist.

When Fluffy awoke, he looked at one of the bones before him and decided to bury it. Thus, mountains and all of the animals were created. Once he buried it, Fluffy felt he had to go to the bathroom really, really bad and so he hiked his leg on the burial spot of the bone. Thus, all of the rivers, oceans, and rain of the world came to exist, with the deserts being where Fluffy's stream missed. Then, Fluffy shook off all of his dandruff, resulting in the creation of snow, and ran into the forest of godhood to take a dump, which he forgot to bury as he spotted Snuffleumpalus in the distance, preparing to run away.

And thus, the story of the creation of humanity is complete.

I recommend the following:

1. Thorazine.
2. Some vitamin b-12.
3. Some quiet time in front of the tv, while you come down.

You really need to peek at the topic with a similar name before posting here. Fluffy demands it.

My God, it's GENIUS! :D

This is almost identical to many creation myths, except most do without Snuffleumpalus.

I recommend the following:

1. Thorazine.
2. Some vitamin b-12.
3. Some quiet time in front of the tv, while you come down.


Now now... TV would be a bad idea. All those outside influences programming such a psyche would result in just another couch potato. We've got enough of those in the world. We're called Americans ;)

A nice, blank, white spackled wall or ceiling, on the other hand...

Heretic ! Does thy not know that it was not Fluffy the Great Dog who buried the bones thy speaks of, but the great and wonderful Fluffy Blue Kiwi ?

war is upon thee if thy continues to refuse to recognise the truth !

Be Jipjip.

The Great Dog Church will not stand for the presense of Blue Kiwism in this thread! To purge the world of the Blue Kiwism heretics, I must now innitiate the Spanglish Flee Bath!

Vets, take up thy needles and charge!

That's right. Fluffy the Great Dog created humanity.

Are you sure only alcohol was involved in this?

I ym u farm beliefer un tre theosy oph Dyslexia ond donoght peeleaf yn Dog

No, it was Anubis who created the earth, after he forgot to re-install AmigaOS.

What a waste of bandwith! What are you trying to acomplish with this? Do you expect us to believe in you, or be amused?

AH!

What's next, your gonna tell us that Elvis is dead? :rolleyes:

Hmm. Fluffy says that many are weak in the humor. Fluffy must educate them in the humor... yes... Fluffy must educate...

~Begins rummaging around for a hacksaw~

Funny :D

I recommend the following:

1. Thorazine.
2. Some vitamin b-12.
3. Some quiet time in front of the tv, while you come down.
4. Some water

his hangover is gonna be a killer

I got really drunk one night and was trying to climb up some stairs to get into my apartment when I missed a step and fell down the stairs. When I came to Fluffy the Great Dog, creator of Nonsequitorians (what we now know as humans), revealed to me irrefutable evidence that evolution is false. For, you see, he created humanity. That's right. Fluffy the Great Dog created humanity.

Back before time and everything existed, Fluffy used to hunt Snuffleumpalus, his mortal enemy who seeks to usurp his power by stealing the dogtag of divinity that Fluffy wears, in the golden plains of heavenly delight. After finally cornering Snuffleumpalus, Fluffy ripped him to shreds on the spot, scattering his body across the golden plains. The Fluffy, who had been hunting for a really long time, decided he needed to sleep, so he fell asleep. Thus, night and day came to exist.

When Fluffy awoke, he looked at one of the bones before him and decided to bury it. Thus, mountains and all of the animals were created. Once he buried it, Fluffy felt he had to go to the bathroom really, really bad and so he hiked his leg on the burial spot of the bone. Thus, all of the rivers, oceans, and rain of the world came to exist, with the deserts being where Fluffy's stream missed. Then, Fluffy shook off all of his dandruff, resulting in the creation of snow, and ran into the forest of godhood to take a dump, which he forgot to bury as he spotted Snuffleumpalus in the distance, preparing to run away.

And thus, the story of the creation of humanity is complete.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v51/dmcantrell/forum_stuff/offasst_funny.gif

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v51/dmcantrell/forum_stuff/offasst_funny.gif


heh, that made me laugh. Thats probably becuase Im 40 hour sleep deprived, and I just finished a project on MS word.

Yeesh. I thought this ugly thing was long buried. Now I see people digging it up.

Look, it was just to mock a topic and arguement going on at the time it was posted. Without that topic to reference, this isn't humorous. Let it die.

erm..sorry then. Ill get back to my own business.

The original schism then is embodied thusly:


http://picture.funnyjunk.com/pics/killer_dog.jpg

I got really drunk one night and was trying to climb up some stairs to get into my apartment when I missed a step and fell down the stairs. When I came to Fluffy the Great Dog, creator of Nonsequitorians (what we now know as humans), revealed to me irrefutable evidence that evolution is false. For, you see, he created humanity. That's right. Fluffy the Great Dog created humanity.

Back before time and everything existed, Fluffy used to hunt Snuffleumpalus, his mortal enemy who seeks to usurp his power by stealing the dogtag of divinity that Fluffy wears, in the golden plains of heavenly delight. After finally cornering Snuffleumpalus, Fluffy ripped him to shreds on the spot, scattering his body across the golden plains. The Fluffy, who had been hunting for a really long time, decided he needed to sleep, so he fell asleep. Thus, night and day came to exist.

When Fluffy awoke, he looked at one of the bones before him and decided to bury it. Thus, mountains and all of the animals were created. Once he buried it, Fluffy felt he had to go to the bathroom really, really bad and so he hiked his leg on the burial spot of the bone. Thus, all of the rivers, oceans, and rain of the world came to exist, with the deserts being where Fluffy's stream missed. Then, Fluffy shook off all of his dandruff, resulting in the creation of snow, and ran into the forest of godhood to take a dump, which he forgot to bury as he spotted Snuffleumpalus in the distance, preparing to run away.

And thus, the story of the creation of humanity is complete.
Makes sense