NationStates Jolt Archive

receiving expensive jewlery as gifts?

I prefer something that's thoughtful and inexpensive. I always feel terrible when somone spends a lot of money on me.

Societal norm. There are dudes that enjoy getting free stuff as well, but the norm is that we should earn it so we can give it to you so you'll eventually carry our kids who we will raise to either earn enough money to give good swag to hot chicks or to look for the guy who gives the best swag as an indicator of how good a provider he is.

That wasn't very insightful, now that I think about it. Sorry.

EDIT: I'm with you (but I'm a dude) expensive is very uncomfortable, puts you on the spot. I've had to talk girlfriends out of the expensive everyonce in a while, there was no way I was going to be able to match up or live up to what they gave.

receiving expensive jewlery as gifts?

I suppose it is because people are materialistic and shallow. Also, it seems that many people measure their worth and the worth of other’s by the amount of “stuff” that they have. Men do it through expensive gadgets and cars, women through jewelry and clothing. So, it stands to reason that the more a gift will add to their prestige, the more thankful a person is to get it.

Keeping that in mind, women like to receive jewelry because than they think, “This person must really like me to spend all that money on me.” VERY, shortly after they then think, “I can’t wait to show this new gift off to everyone.”

Does that answer your question?

I always feel terrible when somone spends a lot of money on me.

And I always feel terrible when I spend lots of money on someone else. :p

receiving expensive jewlery as gifts?

I prefer something that's thoughtful and inexpensive. I always feel terrible when somone spends a lot of money on me.

I personally enjoy getting family and friends gifts. I like to spread money around if I have it. I get much more enjoyment out of taking a group of my friends out to dinner than buying a new video game. I'm not sure what relevance that has to anything, but yeah.

At any rate, I would imagine some people just like getting stuff for free. I know I wouldn't turn down a new car if someone offered it to me.

there was no way I was going to be able to match up or live up to what they gave.

That's pretty bad; I agree. Rich girls are especially tough.

As a male: Recieving expensive gifts is uncomfortable, however I must admit there is a great deal of satisfaction in the giving of expensive gifts.

Dont you know diamonds are a girls best friend?

Dont you know diamonds are a girls best friend?
How so? They're rather useless and overpriced.

Unless you're talking like diamond edged surgical equipment... that serves a useful purpose.

As far as rocks go, there are nicer ones out there.

How so? They're rather useless and overpriced.

Unless you're talking like diamond edged surgical equipment... that serves a useful purpose.

Diamond edged saw blades are pretty useful for us non-surgeons, too.

Diamond edged saw blades are pretty useful for us non-surgeons, too.
The only thing I really use knives for is cutting veggies or paper...

so unless it's a diamond edged exacto knife...

The only thing I really use knives for is cutting veggies or paper...

so unless it's a diamond edged exacto knife...

You mean you don't cut sheet metal?

You don't know what you're missing.

(Though I usually use a plasma cutter, not a saw. But ignore that. Diamond saw blades are pretty cool.)

You know, when my husband and I got married, we were the first couple to do so in our group of friends. Everyone wanted to see my engagement ring to see how big the diamond was! Only problem was that we couldn't afford one (we'd just purchased our house) so I had taken to wearing my birthstone (aquamarine) ring on that finger. It is a nicely sized pear cut, and at a quick glance looks like a diamond. Later when our other friends paired off and got married, it seemed like there was a competition among the women to see who got the biggest diamond. It was kinda sick. Did they think that a big diamond meant their husbands loved them more? I guess we'll see as the years take their toll, what with the divorce rate being 50%.

You mean you don't cut sheet metal?

You don't know what you're missing.

(Though I usually use a plasma cutter, not a saw. But ignore that. Diamond saw blades are pretty cool.)
As fun as that sounds (not sarcasm) I don't have any experience cutting metal like that.

How so? They're rather useless and overpriced.

Unless you're talking like diamond edged surgical equipment... that serves a useful purpose.

As far as rocks go, there are nicer ones out there.

Don't worry, its just the name of an old song you havent heard.

As fun as that sounds (not sarcasm) I don't have any experience cutting metal like that.

Yeah, you don't seem like the kind of person who would, no offense. You seem more like the kind of person who would invent stuff like the plasma torch than use them.

You know, when my husband and I got married, we were the first couple to do so in our group of friends. Everyone wanted to see my engagement ring to see how big the diamond was! Only problem was that we couldn't afford one (we'd just purchased our house) so I had taken to wearing my birthstone (aquamarine) ring on that finger. It is a nicely sized pear cut, and at a quick glance looks like a diamond. Later when our other friends paired off and got married, it seemed like there was a competition among the women to see who got the biggest diamond. It was kinda sick. Did they think that a big diamond meant their husbands loved them more? I guess we'll see as the years take their toll, what with the divorce rate being 50%.
See, that sort of case is when expensive jewlery isn't so weird though.

You've made a lifelong commitment, you're not left with the pressure of having a really expensive piece of jewlery in a dating relationship... you've got the expensive jewlery as you've agreed to stay together for life.

But yeah, competing about the biggest diamond is silly.

Don't worry, its just the name of an old song you havent heard.
No, I have heard it.

I just gathered some impressions about you from the other thread... not pleasant ones.

Yeah, you don't seem like the kind of person who would, no offense. You seem more like the kind of person who would invent stuff like the plasma torch than use them.
It seems like it could be fun.

That and welding...

But then I'm a bit of a pyro... so anything involving fire is fun.

It seems like it could be fun.

That and welding...

But then I'm a bit of a pyro... so anything involving fire is fun.

Oh man! It's tons of fun! I like welding too, but I really love using the plasma cutter. I think it's the pyro in me, too.

receiving expensive jewlery as gifts?

I prefer something that's thoughtful and inexpensive. I always feel terrible when somone spends a lot of money on me.

It's not necessarily the jewelry per se. When men blow huge amounts of money on a woman he's telling her "I have huge amounts of money to blow on you." It's a way of saying to her subconcious "I'm a good provider, sleep with me and you'll have all the things you need."

Jewelry has the added benefit that she can show it to all her friends and say "Look how good a provider my man is," and increase her own status within her social circle. Flowers and candy may be nice, and even expensive, but all you have to show off is bloodshot eyes from hayfever, and weight gain from chocolate. Not that any of this is being said out loud of course. That would make it prostitution.

It's not necessarily the jewelry per se. When men blow huge amounts of money on a woman he's telling her "I have huge amounts of money to blow on you." It's a way of saying to her subconcious "I'm a good provider, sleep with me and you'll have all the things you need."

Jewelry has the added benefit that she can show it to all her friends and say "Look how good a provider my man is," and increase her own status within her social circle. Flowers and candy may be nice, and even expensive, but all you have to show off is bloodshot eyes from hayfever, and weight gain from chocolate. Not that any of this is being said out loud of course. That would make it prostitution.

Wait a minute... Isn't that, erm, selfish?

No, I have heard it.

I just gathered some impressions about you from the other thread... not pleasant ones.

Trying to start a flame are we? :)
Look I dont care, if you value impressions that much from an internet connection.
Not to mention how you seem to damn a person completely just for not subscribing to the same pc theory of thought as you do.

receiving expensive jewlery as gifts?

I prefer something that's thoughtful and inexpensive. I always feel terrible when somone spends a lot of money on me.
totally agreed on the impersonal part. i a bloke buying a woman jewelery is essentially saying "i don't know anything personal to get you".
thats why god invented purfume, too, so men would never have to think about the gifts they made ever again ;)


then again jewelerry can be personalised TO mean something, so its not all bad i guess.

and i don't think anyone's touched on the sentimental value yet (from a devils advocate & women's point of view). as in, a guy buys you some nice jewelerry, which means you remember the guy, sentimentally remember him giving it to you, and your wearing of said jewelerry is like a way of wearing those sentimental attatchments, in a nice way. i mean i guess some women sometimes say "no i'm gonna wear THIS piece of jewelery because he *insert name here* gave it to me"


and lets not forget the whole tribal thing. jewelery isn't just showing off about money/material goods, but also saying "i have a mate that provides well for me"



anyways, devils advocate aside, if i were a woman i'm pretty damn sure i'd rather have something considered and thoughtful, something with true meaning between us, than some old precious stones. hell even a photograph or drawing - maybe some crappy thing the guy had made - would probably mean more overall (seeing as you get the sentimental attatchment with all gifts)
but then i'm not one for seeing material aquisition or prestige as important...


meh its all so complicated! i shouldn't post 2 minutes after rolling out of bed... my brain is going in circles :headbang:


edit:

Wait a minute... Isn't that, erm, selfish?
seems more like a sick, desperate drive for prestige to me. and yeah, selfish

I always told my ex I'd rather have a kitten. The damn fool never took me seriously. I like jewelry, but I'm great with a little peice of costume jewelry. My favorite peices are a $3.00 thrift store watch, a $9.00 silver cat ring and a $12.00 pair of amber earrings. Less than 25 bucks and I'm thrilled.

In a truly ideal world, women would not need jewelry, and instead accept what the spouse's budget limitations were and accept his thoughtful but cheap gift. However, in a truly f***ed up world like ours, I'll would just get my gal (if I had one) the most gynormous diamond thingy I could get.

Diamond... burns like coal. I'm going to weigh in on the male side and say it's a bribe. Among some males, the giving of expensive gifts is a status thing as well-even to the point of hurting oneself to give the gift. there's a certain amount of 'promise' involved in giving a rock the size of Rhode Island to a gal-it says "I wll sacrifice for you, I will put you first." It also says to the other males "MINE, Keep Away." (Insecure dudes do this a lot.)

so from the 'giving' side, it's often a mark more of insecurity than generosity, while on the recieving end, it's a "Provider Competition". People are just sickening sometimes, aren't they?

If a guy really wants to spend big money on me, I suppose I wouldn't stop him. No. Strike that, I have stopped several. I never want to feel like I owe him something. If we were really serious and he had so much money that several thousand wouldn't even be noticed by him, then maybe. But I don't want a guy making some big sacrifice on a gift. And I don't want expensive gifts from a guy that I've been dating for three months. It makes me feel like he's trying to buy an expensive whore.
If a husband or long term boyfriend wanted to spend some big bucks, let's get some new furniture or a nicer house. What the hell good is a rock on my finger? Can we go to Greece or Spain instead?

Trying to start a flame are we? :)
Look I dont care, if you value impressions that much from an internet connection.
Not to mention how you seem to damn a person completely just for not subscribing to the same pc theory of thought as you do.
No, I was hoping you wouldn't start a flame like you did over there.

And equality for the sexes isn't some pc theory of thought.

receiving expensive jewlery as gifts?

I prefer something that's thoughtful and inexpensive. I always feel terrible when somone spends a lot of money on me.
I don’t know I think it is a lot like the urge for a fancy car and just about anything else
They don’t want it for themselves
They want it to show it off to OTHER people

Maybe that's why I don't care for expensive gifts from guys. I don't tend to care what other people think.

I can speak from experience that it is nice to get expensive gifts if the guy has the mega bucks to spend. I got alot of jewelry and furs and other things from a man I was with for five years. The man is now gone, and I don't wear much of the jewelry or furs anymore, but I have these items in a safe storage place so that if I ever get in financial trouble I have something I can liquidate fast that won't impact my savings or portfolio. Its like a little insurance policy.

Don't feel bad for the man, I NEVER asked him to spend a dime and he easily afforded everything he purchased.

I don't feel bad for the guy.

I feel bad for the poor little animals whose skin he gave you.

Maybe that's why I don't care for expensive gifts from guys. I don't tend to care what other people think.
Well your pride is not in what you own it is else where

Everyone seems to have something they are proud of … for some people it is things
For others it is abilities
For other it is reasoning

I have not met someone where their pride was not in SOMETHING … even if they were good about not showing it

Women like expensive jewelery because it means they were able to make a guy buy something nice for them. The fact that it was also expensive and useless is a bonus.

It seems like it could be fun.

That and welding...

But then I'm a bit of a pyro... so anything involving fire is fun.Isn't there some song or expression that goes "Light My Fire, Baby"?

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

...

Seriously, though, I'm of the opinion that "meaningful" is not the same thing as "expensive". There's some overlap, sometimes, but they're not the same thing. If I'm convinced that a woman doesn't know the difference between "meaningful" and "expensive", then I'm not going to waste my time with her.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."
Founder and Delegate of The Realm of Ambrosia

expensive jewelry is about the most stupid present i can think of. who needs it? who has a place to wear it? who isnt going to leave it somewhere and lose it forever?

im with bitchkitten, give me an expensive trip to greece instead.

the other aspect that i dont understand is expecting expensive jewelry from your HUSBAND. not only is it useless, but his money is YOUR money and you dont need to waste your money on expensive jewelry. grow up and spend your money more wisely.

receiving expensive jewlery as gifts?

I prefer something that's thoughtful and inexpensive. I always feel terrible when somone spends a lot of money on me.

Women love diamonds. Nothing says love like a lump of carbon mined out the ground by slave labour

Just remember, any jewel from africa comes with a history of pain and suffering. Think about that the next time you put on a piece of jewelry with diamonds on it.

Just remember, any jewel from africa comes with a history of pain and suffering. Think about that the next time you put on a piece of jewelry with diamonds on it.
Most diamonds sold in stores dont' come from Africa anymore.

Hell, Canada is a good supplier of diamonds as well... and no slave labour involved.

I don't feel bad for the guy.

I feel bad for the poor little animals whose skin he gave you.


Life in the tundra can change your mind.

Life in the tundra can change your mind.
That's an entirely different matter. There usually the animal is eaten as well.

Most people don't eat mink or chinchilla.

Why do some women enjoy receiving expensive jewlery as gifts?

I prefer something that's thoughtful and inexpensive. I always feel terrible when somone spends a lot of money on me.
It's like paying homage to their beauty, or whatever it is that makes them distinctive and special. It's very flattering. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but that's how it seems to me.

If you want to show somebody you care you should steal something for them.(I.E. I'd go to jail to give you something.)
This also could prove that you don't care about them. (I.E. I'll go to jail to get away from you you raving psychotic asshat.)

Most diamonds sold in stores dont' come from Africa anymore.

Yeah, they were gathered by the free range laborers of Soviet Russia and stockpiled by the caring government to provide pensions against the inevitable economic failure of Communism. ;)

Also, I have always wondered this thing. Why are jewelry and gems an attractive investment at a resale return of less than 25 cents on the dollar?

Gold bars are expensive, pretty, useless, and you can resell them at market rate.

receiving expensive jewlery as gifts?

I prefer something that's thoughtful and inexpensive. I always feel terrible when somone spends a lot of money on me.
I don't get this either. I can't tell the difference between fake gold/diamonds and real ones...and frankly, neither of them interest me in the slightest. Get me a gift certificate to a bookstore...or a naughty toy. Or just cook me a meal...

I have enough junk as it is, really. Neither my husband nor I bother with gifts anymore outside of immediately consumable ones.

Wait a minute... Isn't that, erm, selfish?

I am talking about the subconcious appeal of things. Deep down everyone has some selfish impulses. Now, I'm not one of those "there's no such thing as a selfless act because if you do nice things for people you either feel good about it, or you think that you somehow have to," people. But a huge part of our psychology and our basic human drive is inborn. To say that the most primative and deeply seeded part of our psyche is selfish isn't really much of a judgement call.

Kind of like how men are attracted to pretty faces and curvaceous bodies. It might be shallow and libidenous, but its the result of generations of evolutionary programming. Cavemen didn't have much use for women who recited beautiful poetry and had good command of philosophical texts.

Gold bars are expensive, pretty, useless, and you can resell them at market rate.

I thought it was illegal to own gold bars. You can invest in gold on the commodities market, but I didn't think you were allowed to just keep a big pile of the stuff in your house.

As a male: Recieving expensive gifts is uncomfortable, however I must admit there is a great deal of satisfaction in the giving of expensive gifts.

yah... when they open the box and their eyes light up almost makes it worth spending a four-figure amount.

if another form of payment comes later in the day/evening (hehe), then it is worth it. hehe

That's an entirely different matter. There usually the animal is eaten as well.

Most people don't eat mink or chinchilla.In a restaurant:
Husband: Happy Anniversary, darling! I got you a present! :D
He hands her a fur coat.
Wife: Oh, dear, why did you have to get me something like this!?
Husband: Is there something wrong with a coat? :(
Wife: Yeah, something's wrong with it! It's a fur coat! I mean, just think of the poor animal that got skinned for this! Mass-producing fur coats really are a waste! You really should know me better by now.
Waiter serves two dishes, one to each partner.
Husband, gesturing to the just-served dishes: Oh, and I suppose you're going to object to eating it as well?

Gold bars are expensive, pretty, useless, and you can resell them at market rate.Yeah, but they're a pain to wear on your earlobes; you'd probably look like the Bhudda Shakyamuni in about six months* (assuming you didn't rip off your earlobes altogether).

* Founder of Bhuddhism, he was originally an Indian prince who lived 2500 years ago. He left princely life at the age of 29; years of wearing heavy royal jewelry left him with long earlobes.

I visit a lot of museums.

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
"Laugh about it for a moment."
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

In a restaurant:
Husband: Happy Anniversary, darling! I got you a present! :D
He hands her a fur coat.
Wife: Oh, dear, why did you have to get me something like this!?
Husband: Is there something wrong with a coat? :(
Wife: Yeah, something's wrong with it! It's a fur coat! I mean, just think of the poor animal that got skinned for this! Mass-producing fur coats really are a waste! You really should know me better by now.
Waiter serves two dishes, one to each partner.
Husband, gesturing to the just-served dishes: Oh, and I suppose you're going to object to eating it as well?
I don't eat meat either.

And even when I did, fur is a touch worse because not only are the animals treated worse, they don't even go to good use usually. This is why leather is different from fur. At least the cows get eaten.

receiving expensive jewlery as gifts?


False needs.

I think it's just a way of saying that somone is important to you, buying an expencive gift is better than buying a none-expencive one, but making one is always the most meaningful.

Ugh. I hate jewelry. It's so pretty and decorative and crap. :rolleyes: *Hurls.*

If a guy really wants to spend big money on me, I suppose I wouldn't stop him. No. Strike that, I have stopped several. I never want to feel like I owe him something. If we were really serious and he had so much money that several thousand wouldn't even be noticed by him, then maybe. But I don't want a guy making some big sacrifice on a gift. And I don't want expensive gifts from a guy that I've been dating for three months. It makes me feel like he's trying to buy an expensive whore.
If a husband or long term boyfriend wanted to spend some big bucks, let's get some new furniture or a nicer house. What the hell good is a rock on my finger? Can we go to Greece or Spain instead?

Yay! Someone who thinks like me!

Seriously, jewellry just sits in my jewellry box unless its a special occasion. In fact, I love the beautiful mahogany box I got last Christmas much more than the jewellry inside. But yeah, I'd much rather get something practical. Bling just doesn't work for me. And I couldn't care less about the cost.

Still, if you had a couple of hundred dollars to spend, then: Yes! I am a girl who loves to get power tools for her birthday!

yah... when they open the box and their eyes light up almost makes it worth spending a four-figure amount.

if another form of payment comes later in the day/evening (hehe), then it is worth it. hehe


Four figures! - cheapskate.

;)

I am talking about the subconcious appeal of things. Deep down everyone has some selfish impulses. Now, I'm not one of those "there's no such thing as a selfless act because if you do nice things for people you either feel good about it, or you think that you somehow have to," people. But a huge part of our psychology and our basic human drive is inborn. To say that the most primative and deeply seeded part of our psyche is selfish isn't really much of a judgement call.

Kind of like how men are attracted to pretty faces and curvaceous bodies. It might be shallow and libidenous, but its the result of generations of evolutionary programming. Cavemen didn't have much use for women who recited beautiful poetry and had good command of philosophical texts.
Darn it, that's literally all I can do!

On topic... the best presents I ever got were a) a cushion hand-made for me by a friend; b) a box containing many different little things, tailored to me, such as a tshirt, CDs, personal drawings, band merch, the chocolate I like, etc... also from a friend; and c) a promise someone once made to me, which has symbolically cemented our relationship.

Expensive jewellery from others, however, I barely remember. It's all locked away in a vault somewhere.