NationStates Jolt Archive

I feel shitty right now.

I did terribly last semester, I don't want to tell my parents, I should have quit my job or at least told them I wouldn't work as much as I did. Why the hell did I work as much as I did?

I'm going to need an extra year to finish my degree, which will piss off my parents. I'm also not even sure I can do it. My confidence is pretty much shot after last semester.

I don't know what to do, due to the way the class schedule is, there are so many conflicts with required classes that I can't finish this year, even if they didn't conflict, it would mean an entire year without any electives, I do terribly without electives. I need one class that doesn't have an assignment due every single week or that gives me a break from math and physics.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when I'm done this degree either. I think I want to pursue another degree in an entirely different subject... but I don't know. I just don't feel like I can do it.

Let me be the first to say that you can do anything you want to if you put enough into it. It helps to have a desire to do it though and it doesn't sound like you really want to do what it is you are doing right now. You really need to figure out what you want to do with your life, at least at this point in it. My advice, look at the things that you enjoy and go from there, make a list of the things you like to do and have interest in. Also, it's a lot easier to be succesful at something when you enjoy doing it.

I do enjoy physics, I can't see myself making a living in the field though. It's fascinating and everything, but I don't think I could take it. I'm hardly maintaining sanity in undergrad, even if I had the grades, I don't think I would want to study it at a graduate level.

I do enjoy physics, I can't see myself making a living in the field though. It's fascinating and everything, but I don't think I could take it. I'm hardly maintaining sanity in undergrad, even if I had the grades, I don't think I would want to study it at a graduate level.
It probably isn't something you would want to do for 40 years as a job then either.

What are your hobbies?

If its something you enjoy and wish to study more, then work on this subject more, and if need be, take it again. There is no shame in taking longer to get something done right, then to rush it and get it done wrong and make it useless. There seems to be too much of a stress to get things done fast and right the first time, but this often leads to being burnt out and lack of retention of knowledge.

If you feel that it was working too much that made you fail, cut back on work and take it bit slower, if you were doing well before that or if you only did bad cause you didn't keep up, its not that you lack the ability, its that you lacked the time.

Don't burn yourself out and lose everything that you have worked for. It sounds like you have made it farther then a lot of people out there, and you have a good distance left in you to go one and make yourself closer to your dreams. In the end its up to you, don't worry too much if your parents get too upset at you, they are your parents and they will be so regardless of how long it takes you. I'm betting that if you don't get it done this year, they will be just as happy next year when you get it done.

It probably isn't something you would want to do for 40 years as a job then either.
I know. I'm most of the way through the degree and I figure that if I go for a second degree after this, I might as well get a head start in terms of required courses and the like while I finish this one up too... but I'm not sure how many credits I can transfer over or how that whole thing works, really.

What are your hobbies?
I like to draw, play the guitar, the piano and the flute, I like to read philosophy, science fiction, fantasy, assorted random fiction (I quite enjoy black humour) I like to write when I get the inspiration to do so, though I suck at it. I like looking after my pets, collecting lots of random things, reading up on ancient civs, languages, religions, I like to tinker with things to see how they work.
I obviously don't mind sitting on my ass and wasting my days away online either. ;)

Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel. I hit a similar low about two years ago and am still not completely out of it. There's no easy way to go about it. You just need to focus on doing something positive every day.

Try not to look at the big picture, that seems almost opposite of what you'd expect, but it really is true. Don't worry about your future in the field, don't think about stuff down the line, it'll only make you more depressed. Instead just focus on really short term goals, you get momentum from accomplishing them and eventually things will being to slowy start falling in place.

Besides, it really doesn't matter what you get a degree in, you can pretty much do whatever you want once you finish. Plus you can always take more classes at night or whatever after you're done.

Just don't give up

If its something you enjoy and wish to study more, then work on this subject more, and if need be, take it again. There is no shame in taking longer to get something done right, then to rush it and get it done wrong and make it useless. There seems to be too much of a stress to get things done fast and right the first time, but this often leads to being burnt out and lack of retention of knowledge.

If you feel that it was working too much that made you fail, cut back on work and take it bit slower, if you were doing well before that or if you only did bad cause you didn't keep up, its not that you lack the ability, its that you lacked the time.

Don't burn yourself out and lose everything that you have worked for. It sounds like you have made it farther then a lot of people out there, and you have a good distance left in you to go one and make yourself closer to your dreams. In the end its up to you, don't worry too much if your parents get too upset at you, they are your parents and they will be so regardless of how long it takes you. I'm betting that if you don't get it done this year, they will be just as happy next year when you get it done.
That made me feel a bit better.

The only thing is I don't really have any real, well planned out, dreams yet.

That made me feel a bit better.

The only thing is I don't really have any real, well planned out, dreams yet.

thats the good thing about dreams, they don't have to be well planned out. Thats the stuff in between. Things rarely go as planned, so why worry about ironing the shirt all morning, if its going to get wrinkled and stained during the work day?

I don't have any well planned dreams personally. I used to, but when they didn't go along the pre-planned path, I go frustrated and overwhelmed with trying to make sure it got back on the path. Pretty soon I was ready to give up. Now I have my goals that I work towards, and sludge through life and make my way there, without getting too over whelmed. Hang in there, life isn't always the easiest but hard work has good rewards.

I did terribly last semester, I don't want to tell my parents,
I can't really help you with the rest of this, but I can tell you this. Tell your parents as soon as you can. It's hard, but it's better for them to hear about it from you than someone else, as they will find out eventually. Telling them will also keep you from worrying about if the next person calling on the phone is your parents, when their e-mail is coming, etc. I speak from experience, and I can tell you it's better to have a clear conscience about this.

I can't really help you with the rest of this, but I can tell you this. Tell your parents as soon as you can. It's hard, but it's better for them to hear about it from you than someone else, as they will find out eventually. Telling them will also keep you from worrying about if the next person calling on the phone is your parents, when their e-mail is coming, etc. I speak from experience, and I can tell you it's better to have a clear conscience about this.
Well, I gave them a vague idea... Maybe I should tell them, say it was probably due to work and inform them of my intentions to quit my job.

thats the good thing about dreams, they don't have to be well planned out. Thats the stuff in between. Things rarely go as planned, so why worry about ironing the shirt all morning, if its going to get wrinkled and stained during the work day?

I don't have any well planned dreams personally. I used to, but when they didn't go along the pre-planned path, I go frustrated and overwhelmed with trying to make sure it got back on the path. Pretty soon I was ready to give up. Now I have my goals that I work towards, and sludge through life and make my way there, without getting too over whelmed. Hang in there, life isn't always the easiest but hard work has good rewards.
Yeah. I kinda have a half-assed thought of doing another degree in psych of philosophy (my current minor) and if I go the psych route, perhaps try for a phd, or maybe med school (yeah, that's majorly ambitious) and become a psychologist...

I know that I haven't been happy with my current academic preformance as of late. I think I will take it easy this year, explain the situation to my parents, perhaps go pay my academic advisor a visit as well. I know I can't finish in one year, so I should maybe make it a relaxed two. A few more electives, sampling other courses, perhaps bring my average in math up so I can have a second teachable if I choose to go that route.

I feel shitty right now.

I did terribly last semester, I don't want to tell my parents, I should have quit my job or at least told them I wouldn't work as much as I did. Why the hell did I work as much as I did?

I'm going to need an extra year to finish my degree, which will piss off my parents. I'm also not even sure I can do it. My confidence is pretty much shot after last semester.

I don't know what to do, due to the way the class schedule is, there are so many conflicts with required classes that I can't finish this year, even if they didn't conflict, it would mean an entire year without any electives, I do terribly without electives. I need one class that doesn't have an assignment due every single week or that gives me a break from math and physics.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when I'm done this degree either. I think I want to pursue another degree in an entirely different subject... but I don't know. I just don't feel like I can do it.
If your parents love you and support you, then they shouldn't get pissed off if you did not perform up to "their" expectations.

This is about your future and it should unfold as you want it to. Don't be so hard on yourself, and if you need to arrange your schedule to fit your needs or change courses, then it should be your call?

Best wishes in your future endeavours!! :)

I feel shitty right now.

I did terribly last semester, I don't want to tell my parents, I should have quit my job or at least told them I wouldn't work as much as I did. Why the hell did I work as much as I did?

I'm going to need an extra year to finish my degree, which will piss off my parents. I'm also not even sure I can do it. My confidence is pretty much shot after last semester.

I don't know what to do, due to the way the class schedule is, there are so many conflicts with required classes that I can't finish this year, even if they didn't conflict, it would mean an entire year without any electives, I do terribly without electives. I need one class that doesn't have an assignment due every single week or that gives me a break from math and physics.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when I'm done this degree either. I think I want to pursue another degree in an entirely different subject... but I don't know. I just don't feel like I can do it.

Your problems are small. Suck it up and drive on. Maybe consider how well you have it compared to some who have to fight for their very lives on a daily basis. They are many. Keep that in mind when battling (snicker) for your second degree. Sheez!

Liverbreath']Your problems are small. Suck it up and drive on. Maybe consider how well you have it compared to some who have to fight for their very lives on a daily basis. They are many. Keep that in mind when battling (snicker) for your second degree. Sheez!
I'm working on my first. I'm contemplating a second. You don't have to be an ass, just don't read the thread if you're going to be like that.

And also, fuck you, I work hard and pay my way with some help from my parents. This isn't a free ride, jerk.

two things;
1)working hard is formidable and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
2)No matter what you study, if you work hard at it, you're almost guarenteed to make at least twice what you would hope to make otherwise. I almost failed geometry, but buckled down and got there thru work. Keep it up and you will be rewarded.

peace

I feel shitty right now.

I did terribly last semester, I don't want to tell my parents, I should have quit my job or at least told them I wouldn't work as much as I did. Why the hell did I work as much as I did?

I'm going to need an extra year to finish my degree, which will piss off my parents. I'm also not even sure I can do it. My confidence is pretty much shot after last semester.

I don't know what to do, due to the way the class schedule is, there are so many conflicts with required classes that I can't finish this year, even if they didn't conflict, it would mean an entire year without any electives, I do terribly without electives. I need one class that doesn't have an assignment due every single week or that gives me a break from math and physics.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when I'm done this degree either. I think I want to pursue another degree in an entirely different subject... but I don't know. I just don't feel like I can do it.

Look, I know it is hard, but don't put too much pressure on yourself.

The bad semester and the extra time to graduate aren't that big of a deal.

One thing you might look up is the average time it takes to graduate with a degree. You are in the UK, right? I'm not sure the figures there, but in the US the average time for a "four-year" degree is longer than four-years (or at least it was at the time I had to have a similar conversation with my parents). If the stat helps, great. If not, you don't have to tell them. ;)

Anyway, it is way too easy to create expectations that are unrealistic or unnecessary.

Perhaps telling a bit about my school experience will help:

I was a complete fuck-up as an undergraduate. I graduated from high school in 1986. I went to university right away. I did not technically graduate with my undergraduate degree until 1995. I had good semesters and bad. I got lots of As and some Ds and Fs. I went to one university for my first year and did fairly well there, but couldn't afford to return when my scholarship was cut (it was for a debate program that got cut). I spent another year at another school and my performance was crap. I took a year off and worked -- mostly manual labor. I returned and essentially completed my degree in a few more years. Walked through graduation and everything -- BUT I had a couple of incompletes that I didn't finish. Worked and took classes on and off. When I finally got my shit together and was going to law school, I finally completed my degree. I think my GPA may have been about a 3.0 -- but only because I got alot of As to balance out the crappy grades. Usually the As were in some of the harder classes. If I liked a class and was engaged by the material, I did well. If I didn't like it, well, it was a crap shoot. Sometimes a class was still easy enough to sleepwalk through.

Anyway, when I started law school, I loved it. (Makes me a sick bastard. Most people hate it.) And I did well. Not only did I get straight As my first semester -- I got the high grade in every class. (Various legal organization give awards (certificates) for top marks in various classes, so they keep track of these things at most law schools.) Anyway, I couldn't tell you how many of those certificates I have -- at least a dozen. I was the top ranked student throughout my years at law school. I graduated with one of the best GPAs in the history of my law school.

I got a prestiguous job -- a clerkship with a US Court of Appeals judge -- out of law school. And another prestiguous job after that.

I'm not trying to brag. (For entirely unrelated reasons my life has gone to shit in many ways since. And anyone I went to law school with knows I paid less attention to grades and rankings at the time that almost anyone. I thought -- and still do think -- the ranking system sucks and the competitive atmosphere it creates is horrible.)

All I am trying to say is that you can do crap one semester (or several years) and still shine in the long run.

My message is this: don't be so hard on yourself. You won't always do as well as you might like -- particularly if you expect yourself to do well at something you don't really like.

You might look to find what you would like to study and study that.

I've heard many variation of this quote and it sounds sappy, but it is true:

Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. ~David Frost

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
- Albert Schweitzer

Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong.
~Ella Fitzgerald



(And these are handy affirmations as well:

I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.
- Thomas Edison

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. ~Winston Churchill)

It is late and I am a bit out of it, so I hope some of this bullshit helps.

From your posts on NS, you are clear an intelligent, thoughtful, good person. It'll work out. Hang in there.

As usual, it's hard to follow Cat-Tribe, but fuck it I'll try and just be shorter and without quotes...*

Yeah, it's cool to have a bad semester. Hardly anyone shoots straight through college and hardly anyone ends with the major that they started with.

Thing is, no matter how long it takes you to get through college you'll probably wish it took longer, really. Especially once you're in the upper division and all the classes you take are on a specific part of something you're interested in and everyone in the room has a minimum base knowledge of the subject. You start to dig it and when it stops you'll miss it.

Like Cat, I stumbled-but I stumbled like crazy. I actually had my graduation (sort of) tonight from my graduate degree (certificate) tonight, I'm 33. Had some issues. It happens. You're in a hard ass major, it's cool to feel the pressure. Don't beat yourself up about it.


*Here's my problem with quotes like Ella Fitzgerald-sure she thinks that, she's Ella Freakin-Fitzgerald...if I was her I'd think that too.

I forgot to mention that you made me feel better. I wrote you as a character a few years ago (a few years later down the line from you) and I think I got pretty close. So, thanks for confirming the way I shaped a character in a play! Woo hoo

I forgot to mention that you made me feel better. I wrote you as a character a few years ago (a few years later down the line from you) and I think I got pretty close. So, thanks for confirming the way I shaped a character in a play! Woo hoo
Who, me?

And thanks you guys. It does make me feel better. I know there are a bunch of people in some of my classes who are in their 5th or 6th year, but it's also nice to hear from some outside sources that I'm not a total screw up.

I think I'll talk to my academic advisor still, so I can get some assurance that my idea isn't terrible and so I can have some professional back up when I inform my parents that I'm not going to finish on time. But you guys have made me feel better.

I feel shitty right now.

I did terribly last semester, I don't want to tell my parents, I should have quit my job or at least told them I wouldn't work as much as I did. Why the hell did I work as much as I did?

I'm going to need an extra year to finish my degree, which will piss off my parents. I'm also not even sure I can do it. My confidence is pretty much shot after last semester.

I don't know what to do, due to the way the class schedule is, there are so many conflicts with required classes that I can't finish this year, even if they didn't conflict, it would mean an entire year without any electives, I do terribly without electives. I need one class that doesn't have an assignment due every single week or that gives me a break from math and physics.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when I'm done this degree either. I think I want to pursue another degree in an entirely different subject... but I don't know. I just don't feel like I can do it.
if you're feeling really, really confused and on the verge of depression and/or doing something you'll regret, first talk it out with your parents (do this anyway... they might get pissed off but its their "job" to understand and help you out) and discuss taking a year out of uni. discuss with the uni if they'll keep a place for you to come back & finish in a year.
take a year out, earn some money, see some places, get yourself sorted out and get your motivation & confidence back.

this is what happened to me this year too, and the previous year for that matter. i can say, from experience, that if you don't have the motivation or confidence to try and do well at uni, there's no point going back and trying to force it out of yourself. us humans are more emotionally complex than a lot of people give credit for, and simply saying "put your mind to it and buckle down to it next year" won't help unless your mind is with it and wanting to do it.
a year out could allow you to really think about what it is you want to do after this degree (or instead of course), and maybe you can even go try some of those things out.

this is what i'm doing anyway - a year out of uni to get my head sorted and get un-depressed, travel, earn some real money and just sort things out before i go back. there's no point going back if you don't think you won't be able to handle it, or won't care enough to try. there's no shame in saying to people 'i need time out'


just another option. hope that helps :)


edit: i kinda assumed you're at uni but i dunno if this is the case :confused:

if you're feeling really, really confused and on the verge of depression and/or doing something you'll regret, first talk it out with your parents (do this anyway... they might get pissed off but its their "job" to understand and help you out) and discuss taking a year out of uni. discuss with the uni if they'll keep a place for you to come back & finish in a year.
take a year out, earn some money, see some places, get yourself sorted out and get your motivation & confidence back.

this is what happened to me this year too, and the previous year for that matter. i can say, from experience, that if you don't have the motivation or confidence to try and do well at uni, there's no point going back and trying to force it out of yourself. us humans are more emotionally complex than a lot of people give credit for, and simply saying "put your mind to it and buckle down to it next year" won't help unless your mind is with it and wanting to do it.
a year out could allow you to really think about what it is you want to do after this degree (or instead of course), and maybe you can even go try some of those things out.

this is what i'm doing anyway - a year out of uni to get my head sorted and get un-depressed, travel, earn some real money and just sort things out before i go back. there's no point going back if you don't think you won't be able to handle it, or won't care enough to try. there's no shame in saying to people 'i need time out'


just another option. hope that helps :)


edit: i kinda assumed you're at uni but i dunno if this is the case :confused:
Umm... I'm not taking a year off, I'm going to end up taking an extra year to complete my degree. And yes, I am in uni.

what year are you in?

dont keep with a major you dont think you want to work in. its not worth it. there are tons of areas you can switch to within the science area that will use lots of the credits you already have.

maybe you need to do one of those stupid career aptitude tests. it can at least help you focus on what kind of area suits your personality best. a little help deciding a new major would good right now.

your parents can deal with this. they have way worse fears for you than that you will have a bad semester and have to take longer to finish than they had planned.

Umm... I'm not taking a year off, I'm going to end up taking an extra year to complete my degree. And yes, I am in uni.
fair enough. didn't read past first few posts before replying. sorry


whats wrong with taking a year out?

I feel shitty right now.

I did terribly last semester, I don't want to tell my parents, I should have quit my job or at least told them I wouldn't work as much as I did. Why the hell did I work as much as I did?

I'm going to need an extra year to finish my degree, which will piss off my parents. I'm also not even sure I can do it. My confidence is pretty much shot after last semester.

I don't know what to do, due to the way the class schedule is, there are so many conflicts with required classes that I can't finish this year, even if they didn't conflict, it would mean an entire year without any electives, I do terribly without electives. I need one class that doesn't have an assignment due every single week or that gives me a break from math and physics.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life when I'm done this degree either. I think I want to pursue another degree in an entirely different subject... but I don't know. I just don't feel like I can do it.
Set your feelings asside ... put them on hold for awhile and deal with them later. Sometimes you just have to do it, feelings and negative thoughts be damned! Get mad. Talk yourself into it, "By granny, this really pisses me off! I've seen total idiots graduate from college, and I know I'm not one of those, so I can too, damnit!"

what year are you in?

dont keep with a major you dont think you want to work in. its not worth it. there are tons of areas you can switch to within the science area that will use lots of the credits you already have.

maybe you need to do one of those stupid career aptitude tests. it can at least help you focus on what kind of area suits your personality best. a little help deciding a new major would good right now.

your parents can deal with this. they have way worse fears for you than that you will have a bad semester and have to take longer to finish than they had planned.
I just finished 3rd year. And yeah, I took a career aptitude test and uh... nothing close to what I'm taking. I don't have enough background in the other sciences to really move around too much, the only thing I have a lot of classes in right now is philosophy and for that I need a higher average. That's why I've been thinking that I might as well finish this one out and then do another one after... it will give me a clean slate with my cummulative average and two pieces of paper that say I know a lot about certain subjects...

fair enough. didn't read past first few posts before replying. sorry


whats wrong with taking a year out?
If I take a year off then my parent's savings plan won't cover me when I return. Aside from that I'm renting a place over here for school and all, if I was going to take time off, then I'd just live at home and work from there, at least I'd have access to a car.

damn

first of all take a vacation. a real vacation. go to cancun, go camping in the wilderness, whatever. you have to decompress and clear your head. you have a big decision to make and you have to be in the right frame of mind to make it

if you can do it in a year, finishing the degree is a good idea. then you can do the gradschool thing to move to something that fits better. IF you can stand the grind.

if you cant finish in a year anyway, talk to a councillor about what degree you could get in 2 years that would be closer to your aptitudes. there might be something that works, there is no way to know until you sit down and work it out.

dont make a decision like this while your head is still all muddled and you are depressed over your grades. it will only be right by accident. dont decide based on what your parents want, that will only end in disaster. do what is best for YOU.

you havent screwed up your life, this is just a little bump in the road. clear your head and the right decsion will come to you.

Well, any second degrees usually take two years. If I were to do philosophy as a second degree then I've already got about half the required courses done with my electives already, so it's not much of a stretch.

I have been thinking of taking time off work to visit my grandparents, I haven't seen them in quite some time and it would be nice. I heard my dad say something about going to Cedar Point with his side of the family. I can't afford cancun, maybe next year or if I can find some high paying/minimal hours job during the year I can go for reading week, though probably not cancun, more likely Victoria or maybe Moncton (the latter if my bf can afford the trip by then, he's been wanting me to meet his extended family)

Already been there, Dakini. :(

I failed last year because of...

1) A project supervisor who was a legendary researcher and consultant in his field, but famously had no time for his undergrads. I literally could not see him, because he was not in the country. My project simply got nowhere, I ended up handing in a two page letter of complaint on the deadline, and all this contributed to my depression which began when...

2) My whole family broke up. Involved in this was my sister, also at university, who let's just say, as a consequence had a few problems greater than just feeling low.

I repeated the year, which was no easy thing because my confidence never returned to previous levels. My parents are academic overachievers (for example, my father has tenure at the same university I was studying at), so it was made abundantly clear to me that yes, I was a disappointment. :(

Now, I have just finished repeating that year, and since it was the final year, I am free. I did not do as well as I would have done, had this whole mess never happened, because realistically, you can have a different supervisor, the depression can go away, but the loss of confidence and disillusionment can stay. But even though I slipped an entire grade down and can kiss my honours goodbye, it was important that I did finish what I had started, even if the result is mediocre.

I have no idea what I'm doing with my life now, and that is scary. But at least you can look forward to bringing this chapter of your life to a conclusion, and moving on to something else. I learned the hard way that life does not go in a straight, predictable line from one event to another. It will have its discontinuities, and you just have to deal with them.

I can sympathise with the talking to your parents thing, it is not going to be easy. It certainly was not easy for me, and relationships can suffer. But when you think about it from their point of view, the number of children they have is finite, so it is unlikely they will stay disappointed for long. They will want to see you move onto new things too.

Indeed, a friend of mine and housemate from last year, has dropped out completely, and I do not envy his situation. Another guy I knew simply disappeared. There are always worse things.

Now you can kick me for ending up sounding all emo. :(

If I take a year off then my parent's savings plan won't cover me when I return. Aside from that I'm renting a place over here for school and all, if I was going to take time off, then I'd just live at home and work from there, at least I'd have access to a car.
ok... i was just wondering if you were gonna say something like "year out? that's the looser's choice!" :p

Yeah, my dad was a straight A student throughout university, I think there were like 2 classes he didn't like and took pass/fail in first year, but other than that, he was the guy screwing everyone over on the curve. He then went on to get his PhD in Biochemistry (I'm already a somewhat disappointment because I'm taking physics... if anyone is unaware of the physics/chemistry rivalry...) and since he's been working on cures for various diseases.

Yet for some reason he has more issue with the whole affordability of it than the academic achievement, my mom who just did early childhood education as her bachelor's and was done with school, is the one who is putting down the academic achievement more than anything. I think she wants to be able to brag to her friends.

ok... i was just wondering if you were gonna say something like "year out? that's the looser's choice!" :p
No, nothing like that. If anything I would be more worried that after leaving for a year, I wouldn't want to come back.

Have you thought about physics related fields, like engineering, that wouldn't be as demanding in terms of pure physics but could still make use of your degree?

I think she wants to be able to brag to her friends.
It's your life though, not theirs. Sometimes, parents need reminding. ;)

Have you thought about physics related fields, like engineering, that wouldn't be as demanding in terms of pure physics but could still make use of your degree?
Well, I've got an appointment booked with a career counsellor for later this month so I'm going to talk about what I can do from there kind of thing.

I just sent a request for an appointment with my academic advisor, so I'll discuss my schedule for next year and all that sort of thing with her. So far I'm looking at being at least 1 course short of completing my requirements and at most, 2 short based on how I fiddled with my schedule to give me one elective each semester as I now know I can't do semesters without electives without doing terribly.

It's your life though, not theirs. Sometimes, parents need reminding. ;)
Yeah.

It's also kinda funny that when I ran by a suggestion that maybe I should major in philosophy she got all outraged and said I wouldn't be able to do anything but now that one of her friend's kids is a philosophy major and looking at law school, she's asking why I didn't go into it in the first place.

You could do what I did. Realize after seven semesters that teaching wasn't for me, and drop out. Yeah, your parents will be pissed at first, but they'll come around. They'll realize that you're much happier getting out of that major, because if you're anything like I was, you're coming across to them right now as really depressed and despondent, and they have no idea why.

In the end, it's only money, and while it may be a lot of money, in the end your happiness should be more important. Don't do something you hate just because you're worried about the bills. Do what you really want to do.

I hope this is any kind of help. I really like you; I don't want to see you suffer. :)

I'm not the dropping out type.

Hell, I find it hard enough to drop courses, even when I know I'm doomed. I'm too stubborn and will eventually kick its ass.

Already been there, Dakini. :(

I failed last year because of...

1) A project supervisor who was a legendary researcher and consultant in his field, but famously had no time for his undergrads. I literally could not see him, because he was not in the country. My project simply got nowhere, I ended up handing in a two page letter of complaint on the deadline, and all this contributed to my depression which began when...

2) My whole family broke up. Involved in this was my sister, also at university, who let's just say, as a consequence had a few problems greater than just feeling low.

I repeated the year, which was no easy thing because my confidence never returned to previous levels. My parents are academic overachievers (for example, my father has tenure at the same university I was studying at), so it was made abundantly clear to me that yes, I was a disappointment. :(

Now, I have just finished repeating that year, and since it was the final year, I am free. I did not do as well as I would have done, had this whole mess never happened, because realistically, you can have a different supervisor, the depression can go away, but the loss of confidence and disillusionment can stay. But even though I slipped an entire grade down and can kiss my honours goodbye, it was important that I did finish what I had started, even if the result is mediocre.

I have no idea what I'm doing with my life now, and that is scary. But at least you can look forward to bringing this chapter of your life to a conclusion, and moving on to something else. I learned the hard way that life does not go in a straight, predictable line from one event to another. It will have its discontinuities, and you just have to deal with them.

I can sympathise with the talking to your parents thing, it is not going to be easy. It certainly was not easy for me, and relationships can suffer. But when you think about it from their point of view, the number of children they have is finite, so it is unlikely they will stay disappointed for long. They will want to see you move onto new things too.

Indeed, a friend of mine and housemate from last year, has dropped out completely, and I do not envy his situation. Another guy I knew simply disappeared. There are always worse things.

Now you can kick me for ending up sounding all emo. :(
i hope your parents are proud of you now! to finish your degree under that kind of stress is a real achievement. maybe they cant brag to their friends about it but they should recognize how hard it is to do what you have just done.

your life will figure itself out. its about living with integrity every day. you dont need to be at the top to live a good life.

I'm not the dropping out type.

Hell, I find it hard enough to drop courses, even when I know I'm doomed. I'm too stubborn and will eventually kick its ass.

Well, then don't drop out. But take a semester off from physics all together. From the sounds of it, you're stuck with another year in college no matter what you do, so take a semester of electives. Take some classes in subjects you've always been interested in but never had the opportunity to pursue. Who knows? You may find something you love.

My point is, there's no use in stubbornly refusing to give up physics even though you want to. I just hope you don't end up forcing yourself through physics despite your wishes just because of all the money you've put in to it.

Now you can kick me for ending up sounding all emo. :(

*kicks TG*

Sorry man, you offered. I had to.

I swear, Dakini must hate me. She always disappears right after I start posting in her threads. :(

Well, then don't drop out. But take a semester off from physics all together. From the sounds of it, you're stuck with another year in college no matter what you do, so take a semester of electives. Take some classes in subjects you've always been interested in but never had the opportunity to pursue. Who knows? You may find something you love.

My point is, there's no use in stubbornly refusing to give up physics even though you want to. I just hope you don't end up forcing yourself through physics despite your wishes just because of all the money you've put in to it.
It's not really the money so much as the time and the fact that I do want to see things through to the end. I'll talk to my academic advisor before working out my schedule entirely and deceiding, I will take your suggestion, though perhaps not so far as to take an entire semester off, perhaps just load up on electives and explore some other classes out there, perhaps see about getting an antropology class in or taking the second half of the psych class during the school year, thus decreasing my physics load, which will actually make me like it more in a way. (sounds weird, in a way, but I dont' like it when I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown all the time)

I swear, Dakini must hate me. She always disappears right after I start posting in her threads. :(
I don't hate you, I just had to start making lunch... a girl's gotta eat.

Liverbreath']Your problems are small. Suck it up and drive on. Maybe consider how well you have it compared to some who have to fight for their very lives on a daily basis. They are many. Keep that in mind when battling (snicker) for your second degree. Sheez!You are bordering on an official warning for flamebait. Knock it off.

--The Modified Democratic States of Cogitation

First most students do not complete a four year university degree in four years so don't be discouraged by that. Secondly, you need to tell your parents. Sure thy might get mad, but they will get over it. Third, many college students don't know what they want to do for a living, and many change majors once or twice.

I went to college on a part time basis, and it took me 10 years to complete a BS. I'd take a couple of classes each quarter, then drop out for a couple of years, then go back.

Hey, that's one thing you might consider and that is going part time. Take a couple of classes each semester and during the summer. Gives you a lot more flexibility in taking classes and once you know what you want to major in you can always go back to full time. Hang in there, you can do it.

I don't know what country your in either UK or US, but you shouldn't afraid to tell your parents. You say that you pay for some of your course, which goes to show that you can shoulder responsibility, which leads me to believe that you can make it through your course.

There is noway everyone can make it through college with perfect grades. The only person I know who does is a complete asswhole, with no people skills. Ya this person is going to come out with an amazing degree but in the end thats not going to count for everything.

If you are stuck for money..search around for offering yourself for medical research. I'm being completely serious. You can do it here for like 4nights and get between E500-E800. It sounds ludicris I know,but a few of them over the summer should help pay for some living expenses over next term.

You can spend yourentire summer studying and catching up on your semester or..go out and get 2 jobs, work your ass off, take 2 weeks off before you start college sleep, and start college fresh. Only work so you have enough to get by during the year. If yourpaying for most of your own fees, look around for some grants taht you can apply for.

Good luck with everything, if you are going to do another degree, take sometime out and really think about what you'd like to do. Even go work for the red cross for a while or something similar. It'll put you in perspective (at least it has done for somepeople I know).

It's not really the money so much as the time and the fact that I do want to see things through to the end. I'll talk to my academic advisor before working out my schedule entirely and deceiding, I will take your suggestion, though perhaps not so far as to take an entire semester off, perhaps just load up on electives and explore some other classes out there, perhaps see about getting an antropology class in or taking the second half of the psych class during the school year, thus decreasing my physics load, which will actually make me like it more in a way.

Good for you! I definately think that is what you need to do. Get away from physics for a while. See what else is out there. I know it would have been easier had you realized a few years ago, but we don't always have that luxury. I was a semester away from graduation and on the verge of losing my sanity before I got away from it. I hope it all works out for you, hun. :)


(sounds weird, in a way, but I dont' like it when I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown all the time)

Fancy that.

I don't know what country your in either UK or US, but you shouldn't afraid to tell your parents. [/quote[
I'm in Canada.

[quote]You say that you pay for some of your course, which goes to show that you can shoulder responsibility, which leads me to believe that you can make it through your course.

There is noway everyone can make it through college with perfect grades. The only person I know who does is a complete asswhole, with no people skills. Ya this person is going to come out with an amazing degree but in the end thats not going to count for everything.

If you are stuck for money..search around for offering yourself for medical research. I'm being completely serious. You can do it here for like 4nights and get between E500-E800. It sounds ludicris I know,but a few of them over the summer should help pay for some living expenses over next term.

You can spend yourentire summer studying and catching up on your semester or..go out and get 2 jobs, work your ass off, take 2 weeks off before you start college sleep, and start college fresh. Only work so you have enough to get by during the year. If yourpaying for most of your own fees, look around for some grants taht you can apply for.

Good luck with everything, if you are going to do another degree, take sometime out and really think about what you'd like to do. Even go work for the red cross for a while or something similar. It'll put you in perspective (at least it has done for somepeople I know).
I've heard about medical research at my school, actually, I haven't found out how to get in on that, I would love to do it, some of it is supposed to be really easy (like run on a treadmill for half an hour and do something or other and get $500) but I can't find out how to get in on that stuff, the only thing I know how to do is the psych research subjects, but those pay like $10. I wish I could get that much money for relatively little, in addition to aiding some grad students... it's much better than my minimum wage job.

oh, yeah.... university. Me and my uni don't really get on so well... I owe them money that I can't possibly pay back yet, and I doubt they'll let me back (not that I want to go back to it, to be honest, if that was the difficulty of the course the degree had to be worth beans.)

I'm not sure if I have any really useful advice, I have yet to turn my faltering secondary education into success yet. Although make sure you have someone to talk to, whether that is the counsellors supplied, friends, family, if you do tell them, anyone at all. They'll be completely and utterly invaluable. I learned that for sure when I went to university for a month and simply sat on my own, in the cafe, instead of attending lectures I didn't have the heart for any more, missing exams, not handing in assignments, it's a viscious circle that has landed me in my current mess. Also, I'd consider if this is really what you want to do. Not career prospects, but whether you want a degree in what you're doing. If not, there's no point in continuing it, it won't help you in the long run, it'll just waste your time. The thing is though, if you stick with something that doesn't interest you anymore, then you're not going to feel any better about yourself any time soon, and that's a risky business. it's easy to feel like crap, and hard to do something about it when you've gotten used to it.

Although my case was a wee bit strange, and I had a few outside circumstances affecting my decision.

Dakini, hang in there.

It took me five years to get my masters, and I was a Very Unhappy Camper because of it. Wouldn'tcha know my grade advisor blew it completely, gave me the wrong advice, and as a result I have a 70 credit masters (normal number of credits for masters = 30).

It was tough, and I hated taking so long to do it -- and paying so much extra money -- but within 2 years I will be making the top salary at my job because of my tenure/seniority.

I'm happy even though at the time I was furious about having to "waste" so much money and time -- then reminded myself that all knowledge is valuable and therefore it was not a waste.

You'll do what you need to once you decide what you REALLY want. :)

Yeah, actually part of why I can't finish next year is that I recieved bad advice when I called the associate dean's office going into second year. I was told I had to retake a class I didn't have to retake by a secretary who thought she knew well enough and didn't suggest I talk to someone who would actually know what to say. As a result, rather than take a course I had to, I wasted time taking one I shouldn't have had to retake and it would have been possible for me to finish on time.

Well, plus if I hadn't failed one class... my prof was never available for help and I hadn't yet learned the value of harassing peers for help.

Yeah, actually part of why I can't finish next year is that I recieved bad advice when I called the associate dean's office going into second year. I was told I had to retake a class I didn't have to retake by a secretary who thought she knew well enough and didn't suggest I talk to someone who would actually know what to say. As a result, rather than take a course I had to, I wasted time taking one I shouldn't have had to retake and it would have been possible for me to finish on time.

Well, plus if I hadn't failed one class... my prof was never available for help and I hadn't yet learned the value of harassing peers for help.
Oh man, something like that happened to me going through the community college trying to transfer. For me I drew up a schedule of classes and went to the counsler and asked, "Is this going to work." He said yes. He was wrong.