NationStates Jolt Archive


Help Wanted: typist, good with PC, bilingual

Eutrusca
10-06-2005, 17:35
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying:

HELP WANTED: Must be a good typist and be good with a computer. Successful applicant must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

A short time later a lovely golden retriever dog trotted up to the window,
saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his
tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it, whined and pawed the
air.

The receptionist called the office manager. He was surprised, to say the least, to see a canine applicant. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on a chair and stared at the manager expectantly.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you must be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to quickly type a perfect business letter. He took out the page and ! trotted over to the manager, gave it to him, then jumped back up on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but told the dog, "That was fantastic, but I'm
sorry. The sign clearly says that whoever I hire has to be good with a
computer."

The dog jumped down again, went to the computer and proceeded to
demonstrate his expertise with various programs, produced a sample
spreadsheet and database, then presented them to the manager.

The manager was dumbfounded! He said to the dog, "Hey, I realize that you
are a very intelligent applicant and have fantastic talent, but you're a dog-- no way could I hire you."

The dog jumped down and went to the sign in the window and pointed his paw at the words, "Equal Opportunity Employer." The exasperated manager said, "Yes, I know what the damned sign says. But the sign also says you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked him straight in the eye and said, "Meow."
Texpunditistan
10-06-2005, 17:53
The dog looked him straight in the eye and said, "Meow."
/me falls over laughing
Eutrusca
10-06-2005, 18:06
/me falls over laughing
:D
Dephonia
10-06-2005, 18:43
:D That's great, i'll have to remember that one.
Great Scotia
10-06-2005, 18:51
pleasing, if quite old.

Of course, the dog, being able to type out perfect business letters, is presumably fluent in English as well as dog. And cat, obviously. Overqualified.
Tactical Grace
10-06-2005, 18:53
Of course, the dog, being able to type out perfect business letters, is presumably fluent in English as well as dog. And cat, obviously. Overqualified.
Managers hate hiring people who display greater perception or understanding. Seeing those qualities in a dog...yeah, no chance.
Jellybean Development
10-06-2005, 19:35
why would the dog want a job any way?
Zotona
10-06-2005, 19:36
why would the dog want a job any way?
So he wouldn't have to rely on his/her parents for financial support? :D
Jellybean Development
10-06-2005, 19:38
So he wouldn't have to rely on his/her parents for financial support? :D
Yeh but why would the dog want financial support off its parents in the first place?
Zotona
10-06-2005, 19:39
Yeh but why would the dog want financial support off its parents in the first place?
It wouldn't. It wants to be a free-thinking independent individual of the canine persuasion. One step at a time.
Jellybean Development
10-06-2005, 19:39
Eh? Eh?
ya don't know an answaer to that one d'ya Eh??
New Genoa
10-06-2005, 19:40
pleasing, if quite old.

Of course, the dog, being able to type out perfect business letters, is presumably fluent in English as well as dog. And cat, obviously. Overqualified.

What if doggish is exactly like english, but the sounds just can't be uttered by the dogs? Hmm? EXPLAIN THAT ONE, KATIE COURAC.
Jellybean Development
10-06-2005, 19:40
ok
but why wud it need the money?
Jellybean Development
10-06-2005, 19:42
What if doggish is exactly like english, but the sounds just can't be uttered by the dogs? Hmm? EXPLAIN THAT ONE, KATIE COURAC.
we could genetically modify a dog so it has the linguistic capabilities of a human
Zotona
10-06-2005, 19:43
ok
but why wud it need the money?
To support itself. Dogs need to eat, have plenty of toys to play with, and maybe even find themselves some snazzy casual wear to attract their female/male counterparts (depending on their sexual orientation, of course).
Jellybean Development
10-06-2005, 19:51
To support itself. Dogs need to eat, have plenty of toys to play with, and maybe even find themselves some snazzy casual wear to attract their female/male counterparts (depending on their sexual orientation, of course).
:confused: :confused: :headbang: :headbang: is that not the rightful "owner" of the dog's job :confused:
Zotona
10-06-2005, 20:00
:confused: :confused: :headbang: :headbang: is that not the rightful "owner" of the dog's job :confused:
(1) I hope you realize I'm not at all taking this seriously, since this is quite a "gag" thread.
(2) Obviously, you did not grow up in the kind of family I did-one that taught me that the family cats/dogs are my "furry siblings". In this case, the dogs/cats in question are the "owners'" children. See that? That's what I meant by parents.
Eutrusca
10-06-2005, 20:12
ok
but why wud it need the money?
It didn't. The dog was just seeking self-fullfilment! :D