NationStates Jolt Archive


The Abort Everyone Party

New Genoa
10-06-2005, 03:58
THE ABORT EVERYONE PARTY is the grand Imperial party of the world.

"200+ million dead - it's time to stop government and install anarchy so we can double that number in half the time!"

OUR MANIFESTO:

Workers of the world, unite! Throw off your chains and come to our bastion of hope so that we may enslave you. We promise, we'll give you 15-minute lunchbreaks after you spend twenty-three hours slaving away at chopping oranges and lemons whose citric acid we will use to spray at the elderly and feeble. This party is a known affiliate of the Anti-Christ and even supported him in the 2004 United States Presidential Election. We also believe free market anarchism is the most destructive and effective form of government, which makes no sense since anarchy is the absence of government, but that doesn't need to make sense. Communes will be ruled by iron-fist tyrants popularly elected via a direct democracy. Join now and you'll get a job as Second Tyrant to the People.

-Against abortion as it violates a mother's right to eat their baby.
-For abortion as it gives women the right to abort everyone
-For aborting everyone
-For burning books
-For burning the rainforest
-For eating gorillas
-For laissez-faire capitalizm
-For excessive profanity, motherfucker
-For strip mining
-Against alternative fuel
-For logging
-For the abolition of the toilet
-For a national language and it will be called Abortish
-For violent censorship
-Against violent censorship
-Against feminism
-For mandatory housewives
-Against workers' rights
-Against the rights of the elderly
-For "fake" Social Security - in other words, we promise to compensate them but then back out at the last second and use the money to fund the importation of opium into China
-For polygamy
-For the death penalty except when the mother's life is threatened
-For heavy metal
-Jesus's name will be changed to Jesus Tittyshitting Christ
-For randomly attacking other parties with military might!
-For Satan

Let it be further noted that we are self-proclaimed to be "In League with Satan," the dark lord and savior of mankind. Satan is the one true lord, and his son will return one day to grant us all salvation and a chance to live in the parliamentary federal government of Hell so that we may one day conquer the imperialist totilitarian scoundrels of Heaven. Hail Satan, and hail the abortions of all! HAIL! HAIL! HAIL!

The Hierarchy: (don't worry, it's not too ambitious)
Lord Vader: New Genoa
Second Tyrant:
Lord Satan, Jr.:
Token:
Director of Propaganda:
Director of Lies:
Commune Oppressor Coordinator:
Destroyer of Originality:
Fad Maker:
Tyrant #3:
Tyrant #4:
Tyrant #5:
Peon #1:
Peon #2:
Peon #3:

Regular Members: