NationStates Jolt Archive

Seriously, this place provides so little help in the sense of what to do during a terrorist attack. For example, they suggest that if a nuclear bomb goes off by you, you should attempt to escape the blast (the picture depicts the 'you are here' a block away from a miniscule explosion), yet later says you should take cover, or find the nearest bomb shelter. What?

During a biological attack, if your eyes or body parts become itchy and/or inflammed, remove all articles of clothing, wash your entire body thoroughly with soap, then seek medical attention, naked and wet in the middle of chaos.

It also points out blantently obvious things, like how it's safer to get as far as you can from any attack. No shit, sherlock. Half of the diagrams are also confusing, showing a generic man thinking as a spraycan blasts him with chemicals.

It just made me laugh. How about you all? What's your opinion of the site?

It's an idiotic waste of govt money

It has as much value as Duck and Cover.

I cracked up for a while, and mocked it for about 10 minutes.

I'm bored, so...

http://www.ready.gov/i/nuc_vis_shield2.gif
Plywood will protect you from radiation.

http://www.ready.gov/i/nuc_vis_distance4.gif
We're actually kidding. There's less radiation the closer you get to the blast.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_choke2.gif
Instead of attempting to escape the chemicals, choke yourself in a casual manner.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_area2.gif
Fish + Biochemicals = Vortexes.

http://www.ready.gov/i/vis_chem_affected2.gif
Be sure to spread chemicals over your body if you come in contact with them. Rub your eyes until they tear up and become inflamed.

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_drop_roll2.gif
If you have been dumped, assume the following position.

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_dont_run2.gif
If this happens, you're pretty much screwed.

I try and I get:

Service Unavailable
The server is temporarily unable to service your request. Please try again later.

Hope them nasty terrorist don't hit soon.

There's a website somewhere with a bunch of pictures from it with different captions. I can't remember the URL though. :(

There's a website somewhere with a bunch of pictures from it with different captions. I can't remember the URL though. :(
There are some pictures from there at the bottom of Airtoons (http://www.airtoons.com/), I think.

I, too, think ready.gov is a joke. I mean, most of the information provided their is common sense and the rest of it is unrealistic. If a nuclear bomb goes off, I'm sorry, I'm going to get on my knees and pray. I'm not going to try and outrun a mushroom cloud, I think it would win with 2:1 odds. ;)

It has as much value as Duck and Cover.

[Keys up an old film....]

(c)1954...

A family sits in a peacful meadow, eating at a picnic....

There is an explosion....

"Oh no! A nuclear bomb is exploding!" says the mother.

"I know what to do, mom." says the son, Billy. "They taught us in school.. We need to duck and cover!"

The family grabs their picnic blanket, and lays down on the ground, covering themselves with the blanket...

[An announcer keys up]... "Good boy Billy... That's right. Duck and Cover...

[The film is suddenly ends as the Family, Announcer and blanket are incinerated....]

Buechoria just made me laugh my ass off. :D

1. Take cover immediately, below ground if possible, though any shield or shelter will help protect you from the immediate effects of the blast and the pressure wave.

2. Consider if you can get out of the area;

3. Or if it would be better to go inside a building and follow your plan to shelter-in-place.


Shielding: If you have a thick shield between yourself and the radioactive materials more of the radiation will be absorbed, and you will be exposed to less.

Distance: The farther away from the blast and the fallout the lower your exposure.

Time: Minimizing time spent exposed will also reduce your risk.

Wait, what's wrong with this advice? It seems valid to me. Seemingly more importantly, it's not funny. Either I'm missing something or you guys have too much time on your hands during the summer and you're running out of things to complain about.

This makes no sense to me.

http://www.ready.gov/i/nuc_vis_escape4.gif

If I am there, I'm pretty much screwed.

If you need more assurance that you aren't the only one who finds this hilarious, it was actually featured on the Daily Show a few months ago (can't remember when). Doesn't get much funnier than that.

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_tap2.gif
After you've built your sofa fort, try playing Star Wars with a flashlight. Reenact the scene where Luke is trapped in the Wampa ice monster's cave and must free himself by using the force to retrieve his lightsaber, then cut the the thick ice he is suspended from. Kick the sofa pieces accordingly.

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_shout2.gif
Have you seen this man at the train station before? His whistle is gold, and he yells, 'All aboard!' Do you know his name? This man is a c-o-n-d-u-c-t-o-r.

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_resp3.gif
Remember this chart from high school biology? Good. There will be a test later.

http://www.ready.gov/i/bio_vis_emergency2.gif
During an emergency, it is suggested you dial 911 and seek medical help. However, that's gonna be pretty fucking hard when your phone has ONE FUCKING KEY.

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_tap2.gif
After you've built your sofa fort, try playing Star Wars with a flashlight. Reenact the scene where Luke is trapped in the Wampa ice monster's cave and must free himself by using the force to retrieve his lightsaber, then cut the the thick ice he is suspended from. Kick the sofa pieces accordingly.

http://www.ready.gov/i/expl_vis_shout2.gif

I think I'm going to pee my pants. :D

I have made someone laugh. My job here is complete. *Rides off into the sunset*

Im fond of this one myself:
http://www.ready.gov/i/nuc_vis_building2.gif
In the event of a nuclear blast, search for tiny buildings with plenty of windows.