NationStates Jolt Archive

I am not even close to being a doctor, but I know what medicine is and I was once addicted to painkillers (anybody got and Ultram/Tramadol they can spare ;) ), so I am offering free medical advice to any who would have it. Of course, the advice will probably (definently) be crap but going to the doctors is a gamble anyway!

Can I tranq my goat? A friend of mine in animal science says no, but I may need to if she injures herself.. the question came up recently when she developed a hobble.. I was told just to take my goat-killing stick to her skull if she broke her leg.. but I'm attached to her and don't want to do it.. she's a prized dairy goat. :(

Edit: I know tranqing her would be useless after the break, I meant before, if things get worse.

"The art of medicine consists of keeping the patient amused while nature heals the disease" - Voltaire

You don't have a license to offer medical advice. Please delete the thread.

Can I tranq my goat? A friend of mine in animal science says no, but I may need to if she injures herself.. the question came up recently when she developed a hobble.. I was told just to take my goat-killing stick to her skull if she broke her leg.. but I'm attached to her and don't want to do it.. she's a prized dairy goat. :(

Edit: I know tranqing her would be useless after the break, I meant before, if things get worse.

I recommend leeches.

You don't have a license to offer medical advice. Please delete the thread.

Are you a doctor? I clearly said I am not and clearly stated it was a humor thread.

"The art of medicine consists of keeping the patient amused while nature heals the disease" - Voltaire

Leeches would do the trick.

if i participate, do i get another shiny thingy?

erm.. question... anything for apathy and indifference? i was thinking of using it on the world's water supply...

if i participate, do i get another shiny thingy?

erm.. question... anything for apathy and indifference? i was thinking of using it on the world's water supply...

Hey, shiny thingies all around, of course! And with two shiny thingies you can get a bigger shiny thingy. The possiblities are endless.
Also, I think you need leeches.

Is it safe to snort dust?

Are you a doctor?

No, its irrelevant anyway.

I clearly said I am not and clearly stated it was a humor thread.

Cool, but the wise man errs on the side of caution.

Is it safe to snort dust?

Only if you use leeches first.

You don't have a license to offer medical advice. Please delete the thread.

In cyberspace nobody needs a licence.

Free advice: don't cut your toe nails with a chain-saw. I tried it once and got away with it. Not game to try it twice though.

Is it safe to snort dust?

Is it fallout-dust? If it is, then it's not safe. If it isn't...Meh. What do I care?

No, its irrelevant anyway.



Cool, but the wise man errs on the side of caution.

maybe so but I am feeling risky tonight. Leeches would do you good! :) If it ain't exceptable the mods will step on me and that will be fair enough.

Only if you use leeches first.

This brings me onto my next question: is it safe to snort leeches?

It itches.

Should I wash it?

This brings me onto my next question: is it safe to snort leeches?

Leech snorting was first proven safe by J. Von Bildbruck in 1375 AD. He once succesfully snorted fourteen leeches in under five minutes.

It itches.

Should I wash it?

Wash and apply a heap of leeches. Leeches, you just can't use enough of them.

Well, my officeis now closing. I need to go jogging, golfing or what ever people who aren't really doctors do in their free time. I hope everyone invest heavily in leech producing companies as they are the wave of the medicinal future. That and holy water. ;)

Wash and apply a heap of leeches. Leeches, you just can't use enough of them.

Um..Leeches are slimy and have mouths that look like buttholes with teeth.

F that!