NationStates Jolt Archive

My girlfriend broke up with me nearly 4 weeks ago, because she felt we were not lovers anymore but only friends. I must agree and think it was the right thing to do, but here comes the problem:
As we really were more like very good friends than like lovers, we both want to keep that friendship going, but that appears to be quite difficult, as every time we seem at least one of us cries. As long as we dont see each other and most time when we telephone everything is fine.
Do you think that is going to work out? Have you similar experiences?

My girlfriend broke up with me nearly 4 weeks ago, because she felt we were not lovers anymore but only friends. I must agree and think it was the right thing to do, but here comes the problem:
As we really were more like very good friends than like lovers, we both want to keep that friendship going, but that appears to be quite difficult, as every time we seem at least one of us cries. As long as we dont see each other and most time when we telephone everything is fine.
Do you think that is going to work out? Have you similar experiences?
youre rushing it. break ups make you cry you cant skip over that part. quit seeing her for a while to give both of you a chance to really adjust to the change.

you can be friends NEXT year.

I agree with Ashmoria, but with my last ex (a relationship that lasted 8 years), we stopped seeing each other, but kept in touch by telephone. 4 months later, we saw each other and everything was fine. But that is because we came to the realization that the separation was the best thing for us and we got over it at about the same time. It doesn't always work out that way.

And sometimes, friendships are impossible.

youre rushing it. break ups make you cry you cant skip over that part. quit seeing her for a while to give both of you a chance to really adjust to the change.

you can be friends NEXT year.

I really need her as a friend. I do not have another one I can really talk to about everything.

I really need her as a friend. I do not have another one I can really talk to about everything.

Here's at tip, get better friends or a psychiatrist.

But seriously, the same thing happened to me once. The whole friends thing didn't work out though because of "crying" or whatever nonsense. It didn't work out because I'm such an A hole to my friends. :D

Have you similar experiences?
When my girl and I split up we decided to be friends. It worked ok, not great but ok. Eventually though we realised we missed each other too much and now we are back together and our relationship is stronger than it was before. You never know what might happen.

I'm on the other side of the fence, my partner's ex who is now a friend is always around. It's all right now, but when we first started seeing each other I was afraid that the two of them would end up back together. Time passed, now the three of us are friends. I imagine it can be very difficult to do, but don't even try to be friends if one of you still has feelings for the other.

Today we met again, and it was quite relaxed and funny :) . We just had a great time, although we did not act like friends exactly, but as though we dated (a little, but not really seriously). I hope it will all work out.

but don't even try to be friends if one of you still has feelings for the other.
Well in fact we still both have feelings for each other: we both care for each other.

My girlfriend broke up with me nearly 4 weeks ago, because she felt we were not lovers anymore but only friends. I must agree and think it was the right thing to do, but here comes the problem:
As we really were more like very good friends than like lovers, we both want to keep that friendship going, but that appears to be quite difficult, as every time we seem at least one of us cries. As long as we dont see each other and most time when we telephone everything is fine.
Do you think that is going to work out? Have you similar experiences?

Well, in highschool, I'd dated this one girl for about a year and it was a long distance relationship. She lived four hours away, and it was a great relationship. However, she met this guy at her school, which she developed feelings, asked me hypothetically how I'd feel if people in a similar situation broke up, and the girl dated the guy. I wound up not taking it too well, and we had a not so grand break up. Many months later, she talked to me, we made up, and once more became great friends. She's still one of my closest friends and the guy she found is now her fiancee. I'm very happy for her, as I've come to realize that we weren't really "meant to be".

Yes, it can work out, but it's not necessarily easy.

When my girl and I split up we decided to be friends. It worked ok, not great but ok. Eventually though we realised we missed each other too much and now we are back together and our relationship is stronger than it was before. You never know what might happen.
May I ask why you broke up?