NationStates Jolt Archive

Saying, "I don't NEED a man" is not the same as saying, "men are useless and we should get rid of them". It actually means, "Hey, I can work, I can take care of myself and my family on my own if need be...but guess what, it's a lot nicer and easier with a man's help. I don't have to stay in an abusive relationship out of a need for financial security, but I hope I can find a good partner."

I don't have a problem with women saying they don't need a man. I'm happy for them, as I think self-reliance is a very good thing to have.

I don't have a problem with women saying they don't need a man. I'm happy for them, as I think self-reliance is a very good thing to have.

Same here.

No no, clearly if I don't get the 'pick of the litter' and if women aren't dispondant at the thought that I might not be able to take care of them then clearly it's because they hate men. I mean, otherwise I'd have to face rejection and my own 'importance' in a realistic way.











totally kidding, by the way. just in case.

Saying, "I don't NEED a man" is not the same as saying, "men are useless and we should get rid of them". It actually means, "Hey, I can work, I can take care of myself and my family on my own if need be...but guess what, it's a lot nicer and easier with a man's help. I don't have to stay in an abusive relationship out of a need for financial security, but I hope I can find a good partner."

I think saying "I don't NEED a man" is suggesting that the reasons you noted are a man's role. They no longer are and what you're saying only perpetuates those types of stereotypes. It should be accepted that adults are self-sufficient and whether we NEED someone else is based on emotional and philosophical attachements.

Sinuhue, I'd be more than happy to stay home, take care of the kids, and wash the Porsche.

I think saying "I don't NEED a man" is suggesting that the reasons you noted are a man's role. They no longer are and what you're saying only perpetuates those types of stereotypes. It should be accepted that adults are self-sufficient and whether we NEED someone else is based on emotional and philosophical attachements.
I think though that a chick (that's right, I said 'chick' in a feminist thread) my age is pressured waaaaaaaaaaaay more to get married than I am, where it is a total non-issue. (33) Which implies that they 'need' a man but I'm totally okay without a woman. Or people just don't think I can get one, or that my choices in the past indicate that maybe I'd be better off without one...either way...it's different...

I think saying "I don't NEED a man" is suggesting that the reasons you noted are a man's role. They no longer are and what you're saying only perpetuates those types of stereotypes. It should be accepted that adults are self-sufficient and whether we NEED someone else is based on emotional and philosophical attachements.
Yes.

However, the idea that these things are no longer the man's role is not entirely accurate. Not all women belive these things are only for men to do anymore...but plenty of men still feel the pressure to do these things, and feel inadequate if their spouse is the 'breadwinner'.

It'll be nice when that stops being true.

Sinuhue, I'd be more than happy to stay home, take care of the kids, and wash the Porsche.
Wait...Porsche? On one income? Who's dreaming now?? :D

I would love it if my husband wanted to stay home. He'd go nuts though, so I respect his desire to work.

He feels exactly the way about me. I get 'weird' if I don't work...and that wouldn't be the best thing for our family.

Still, I know that my husband's decision on this is rather more gendered in terms of what is expected of him, coming from a traditional patriarchal culture, than mine. His father thinks it's terrible that I work. My husband has 'gringoized' enough to be happy about it...but staying home taking care of the kids is not a role he would seriously consider. He has admitted he doesn't think he could do it.

Yes.

However, the idea that these things are no longer the man's role is not entirely accurate. Not all women belive these things are only for men to do anymore...but plenty of men still feel the pressure to do these things, and feel inadequate if their spouse is the 'breadwinner'.

It'll be nice when that stops being true.

Meh. I'd rather kick arse than win bread, either metaphorically or literally.

Saying, "I don't NEED a man" is not the same as saying, "men are useless and we should get rid of them". It actually means, "Hey, I can work, I can take care of myself and my family on my own if need be...but guess what, it's a lot nicer and easier with a man's help. I don't have to stay in an abusive relationship out of a need for financial security, but I hope I can find a good partner."
Wait...
You mean we women aren't really supposed to follow the SCUM Manifesto?

...there go my summer plans...

:D

So, in conclusion, we all agree. Best thread ever.

*waits for a troll to bite*

Yes.

However, the idea that these things are no longer the man's role is not entirely accurate. Not all women belive these things are only for men to do anymore...but plenty of men still feel the pressure to do these things, and feel inadequate if their spouse is the 'breadwinner'.

It'll be nice when that stops being true.

Yes, it bites both ways. My brother is an artist and makes little money and has dated several women who make excellent money (they don't NEED a man) but they are uncomfortable dating a man that is not able to match up to their lifestyle, i.e. spending the amount of money they do. The friends of these women act like my brother is loser and a freeloader even though he spends about twelve hours a day, every day, practicing and working. But that's not really the point is it.

These women that say that are saying that other women do NEED a man which perpetuates the problem. "I can take care of myself" worded as "I don't NEED a man" implies "but if I couldn't I'd just find a man to do it for me". How about just saying "I can take care of myself"?

What if I told you "I don't NEED a woman" means "I know how to do my own laundry and cooking"? Doesn't that imply that cooking and laundry is somehow a woman's job, but I chose to learn it so I wouldn't be dependent on them?

Wait...Porsche? On one income? Who's dreaming now?? :D

I would love it if my husband wanted to stay home. He'd go nuts though, so I respect his desire to work.

He feels exactly the way about me. I get 'weird' if I don't work...and that wouldn't be the best thing for our family.

Still, I know that my husband's decision on this is rather more gendered in terms of what is expected of him, coming from a traditional patriarchal culture, than mine. His father thinks it's terrible that I work. My husband has 'gringoized' enough to be happy about it...but staying home taking care of the kids is not a role he would seriously consider. He has admitted he doesn't think he could do it.

I would love to have my wife continue working and stay home with the children. I have discussed with past girlfriends and I always say that I believe one of the two of us should stay home and work with the children, but that I'm open to it being either of us.

Wait...
You mean we women aren't really supposed to follow the SCUM Manifesto?

...there go my summer plans...

:D
Bahahahaa...

SCUM....

I loves ya...

What are you-The Lorax? You speak for the women now?
Go make me a sandwhich and dont MAKE me show you how to do it RIGHT!!!

Yes, it bites both ways. My brother is an artist and makes little money and has dated several women who make excellent money (they don't NEED a man) but they are uncomfortable dating a man that is not able to match up to their lifestyle, i.e. spending the amount of money they do. The friends of these women act like my brother is loser and a freeloader even though he spends about twelve hours a day, every day, practicing and working. But that's not really the point is it.

These women that say that are saying that other women do NEED a man which perpetuates the problem. "I can take care of myself" worded as "I don't NEED a man" implies "but if I couldn't I'd just find a man to do it for me". How about just saying "I can take care of myself"?

What if I told you "I don't NEED a woman" means "I know how to do my own laundry and cooking"? Doesn't that imply that cooking and laundry is somehow a woman's job, but I chose to learn it so I wouldn't be dependent on them?

Mmmm...good point!

I don't deny that both genders are guilty of perpetuating gender roles. Far from it, actually.

So then let's stick to, "I can take care of myself" and let the chips fall where they may. Assumptions will surely be made, but it's easier to defend...

I'm sure men who have an anti-women agenda will be pleased by your note.

I think what is worse is when those words "i don't need a man/woman" imply that someone is somehow less complete, less whole.

What are you-The Lorax? You speak for the women now?
Go make me a sandwhich and dont MAKE me show you how to do it RIGHT!!!
That's right! I embody the will of all women! I speak for the entire 52% (with some variation) of the population on Earth! HEAR ME, MEN, FOR I AM WOMAN!

This is not one of those times when I will be baring my throat...because in this case, it won't get me what I want.

That's right! I embody the will of all women! I speak for the entire 52% (with some variation) of the population on Earth! HEAR ME, MEN, FOR I AM WOMAN!

This is not one of those times when I will be baring my throat...because in this case, it won't get me what I want.
I love you Sinuhue. :fluffle:

(Though I do sometimes find I have an anti-men agenda! :p )

That's right! I embody the will of all women! I speak for the entire 52% (with some variation) of the population on Earth! HEAR ME, MEN, FOR I AM WOMAN!

This is not one of those times when I will be baring my throat...because in this case, it won't get me what I want.


(didnt we have a joke thread on this a while back? twisting responses to be absolute generalizations? that was fun!)

Anyway-the women in my life could live without me-sure. Personally,I think the quality of their lives is better with me. I make the effort. I could live without them as well-but life is so much better with them.

And come on Sinuhue...you really want the beast...just a little lick ...bare it baby!!

That's right! I embody the will of all women! I speak for the entire 52% (with some variation) of the population on Earth! HEAR ME, MEN, FOR I AM WOMAN!

This is not one of those times when I will be baring my throat...because in this case, it won't get me what I want.

One day you are going to realize that we are soulmates and that I DO need you.

One day you are going to realize that we are soulmates and that I DO need you.
But Carnivorous knows I like it rough...

...and you flirt with all the girls :D

But Carnivorous knows I like it rough...

...and you flirt with all the girls :D


Mmmm..... Jocabia -we could each grab a leg and make a wish...

I think what is worse is when those words "i don't need a man/woman" imply that someone is somehow less complete, less whole.


Mmmmm.....chocolate.....

Mmmm..... Jocabia -we could each grab a leg and make a wish...
YIKES! Not THAT rough...

Holy crap. Flirting OVER!
Carnivorous/Jocabia :sniper:

Mmmmm.....chocolate.....
lol
should i be scared?
i don't think you kow me much, do you? *raised eyebrow*

*she tosses chocolate in the air*

*coughcoughcough*
Yes, right... don't need a man. ;)

i need a first lady! anyone interested?

YIKES! Not THAT rough...

Holy crap. Flirting OVER!
Carnivorous/Jocabia :sniper:


How about a little time on the rotiseri ? Woof!


Dinner time-I'm outta here. My good wife has prepared a wonderful meal that I really needed.

And I will probably clean up.

I think what is worse is when those words "i don't need a man/woman" imply that someone is somehow less complete, less whole.


I hold that belief also. At the same time, I cannot help feeling that my life is better when I am in a relationship.

What to do, what to do?

lol
should i be scared?
i don't think you kow me much, do you? *raised eyebrow*

*she tosses chocolate in the air*

*coughcoughcough*
Yes, right... don't need a man. ;)


I dont know you at all... the learning is so much more interesting than the knowing...
I could wolf down ALL your chocolate, sweetness...

But-dinner calls.

Be well!!!

YIKES! Not THAT rough...

Holy crap. Flirting OVER!
Carnivorous/Jocabia :sniper:

Hey, I didn't do anything. And don't make presumptions about what I know and don't know. Oh, yes, someday, you will be mine. ;)

I totally used the word 'chick' in a feminist thread and you all let me get away with it. What do I have to do, light myself on fire???

Stupid reasonable people...