NationStates Jolt Archive

oooooh mystical & stuff! take the almighty test here (http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=animal_past) :eek:


my result

Come out and play — in your previous life, you were a hamster named Vladimir. Here's what we know about you: Born on the plains of Siberia, you spent your early years weathering harsh winters, drinking vodka, and attending committee meetings. Determined and headstrong, you always got your way when push came to shove. But it wasn't all darkness — no one knew how to let loose and have a good time better than you. You were the reigning Twister champ, and you always emerged victorious from the Bolshevik's annual Dance-a-Thon (your signature step, the Funky Chicken, was a huge crowd pleaser). As you were also quite the health fanatic, you developed and patented a set of exercise wheel fitness videos that quickly became all the rage in Siberia. Your commercial success led you to denounce Communism and head for the States, where you ultimately provided the inspiration for a wacky Web site and song.

:p

Don't go bananas — in your former life you were a tiny monkey named Oompa. Here's what we know about you: Adorably sweet demeanor and sharp as a tack, you found success working with a street performer named Juan, who worshipped you and treated you like his own child. He bought you a gold satin jumpsuit with royal blue ruffles, a matching top hat, and a sequined bag for donations. He would play your favorite disco tunes on his accordion, prompting you to dance around and flirt with the crowd while you collected spare change and picked pockets. Everybody loved you. And you loved everybody. You and Juan took your gig around the country and raked in the riches. You were one happy little monkey.


LMAO! sounds about right :p

I did the test, but at the end it took me to the front page of that site. :mad:

Don't go bananas — in your former life you were a tiny monkey named Oompa. Here's what we know about you: Adorably sweet demeanor and sharp as a tack, you found success working with a street performer named Juan, who worshipped you and treated you like his own child. He bought you a gold satin jumpsuit with royal blue ruffles, a matching top hat, and a sequined bag for donations. He would play your favorite disco tunes on his accordion, prompting you to dance around and flirt with the crowd while you collected spare change and picked pockets. Everybody loved you. And you loved everybody. You and Juan took your gig around the country and raked in the riches. You were one happy little monkey.


LMAO! sounds about right :p
*gives Tink another gold satin jumpsuit with royal blue ruffles*


lovely! you happy little monkey, you :D

In your last life you were a sultry leopard named Lola. You were a showgirl, with yellow feathers in your hair and a dress cut down to there. You would meringue and do the cha-cha. And one night at the Copacabana (the hottest spot north of Havana), you fell in love with Tony, the handsome bartender. Tony fought Rico (he wore a diamond) for you and won. The two of you grew old and happy together, joyfully dancing your lives away at the club to the soulful tunes of Barry Manilow.

So there you go. Don't come at me all at once, fellas! *raises skirt provocatively*

:D :D

In your last life you were a sultry leopard named Lola. You were a showgirl, with yellow feathers in your hair and a dress cut down to there. You would meringue and do the cha-cha. And one night at the Copacabana (the hottest spot north of Havana), you fell in love with Tony, the handsome bartender. Tony fought Rico (he wore a diamond) for you and won. The two of you grew old and happy together, joyfully dancing your lives away at the club to the soulful tunes of Barry Manilow.

So there you go. Don't come at me all at once, fellas! *raises skirt provocatively*

:D :D
ROFLMAO!

omg my tummy hurts from laughing!

ROFLMAO!

omg my tummy hurts from laughing!

I've performed a valuable community service. :p

You can't make stuff like that up. That's possibly the greatest online test result I've ever got.

Yay, it worked this time :p

C'mere, boy — in your former life you were a beagle named Scooter who hailed from Allamakee, Iowa. The cutest puppy on the entire farm, you were so adored that the Allamakee High Junior Varsity Basketball team chose you to be their mascot. You absolutely loved the attention — the cheers, the cool purple-and-yellow jersey, and, most of all, the pizza parties after the games. But you fell out of favor when your sister gave birth to Niko, a snot-nosed young pup who became the newest recruit for the JV team's mascot position. As Niko's popularity grew, the team began to neglect you. No longer did they chant your name when they held you over the basket to slam dunk the ball. No more did they make T-shirts with your adorable mug above the "Antonio's Chinese Food" logo. Then, finally, they fired you when you bit the point guard's mother. After much moping and grieving, you decided to be happy for little Niko. So, armed with your new contentment, you found it in yourself to support Niko and the JV team — not from the court, but from your new spot in the bleachers.

Grab your tux — in a past life you were an Emperor penguin of distinguished character and notable charm. Here's what we know about you: Adored by all, you looked particularly dashing in your top hat and tails. Quite the visionary, you brought popular theater to the ice-skating rink. "Cats...on Ice!" and "The Saturday Night Fever Ice Capades" were two of your best-received works and were especially big hits with your friends and neighbors. Your fame would have spread worldwide if not for the fact that you looked exactly like every other penguin on the ice cap. Frustrated, you made a brash attempt to assert your individuality: You threw away your penguin suit; purchased a racy, powder-blue number with frilly cuffs; and set sail for the mainland. International acclaim eluded you, but you were quite content spending the rest of your days in Tierra del Fuego, where your all-ice-skating production of "Hamlet" met with great praise and commercial success.

Yay, it worked this time :p

C'mere, boy — in your former life you were a beagle named Scooter who hailed from Allamakee, Iowa. The cutest puppy on the entire farm, you were so adored that the Allamakee High Junior Varsity Basketball team chose you to be their mascot. You absolutely loved the attention — the cheers, the cool purple-and-yellow jersey, and, most of all, the pizza parties after the games. But you fell out of favor when your sister gave birth to Niko, a snot-nosed young pup who became the newest recruit for the JV team's mascot position. As Niko's popularity grew, the team began to neglect you. No longer did they chant your name when they held you over the basket to slam dunk the ball. No more did they make T-shirts with your adorable mug above the "Antonio's Chinese Food" logo. Then, finally, they fired you when you bit the point guard's mother. After much moping and grieving, you decided to be happy for little Niko. So, armed with your new contentment, you found it in yourself to support Niko and the JV team — not from the court, but from your new spot in the bleachers.

I got the same result. Thanks Kanabia, you saved me the trouble of typing all of that crap. If it weren't for motivated folks like you lazy people like me would be unable to share their past life test results.

Don't go bananas — in your former life you were a tiny monkey named Oompa. Here's what we know about you: Adorably sweet demeanor and sharp as a tack, you found success working with a street performer named Juan, who worshipped you and treated you like his own child. He bought you a gold satin jumpsuit with royal blue ruffles, a matching top hat, and a sequined bag for donations. He would play your favorite disco tunes on his accordion, prompting you to dance around and flirt with the crowd while you collected spare change and picked pockets. Everybody loved you. And you loved everybody. You and Juan took your gig around the country and raked in the riches. You were one happy little monkey.

Come on out in the sun — in your former life you were an iguana named Gunter. Thanks to a biography written by your twin brother, Gilbert, we know a bit about you: Born on a small island to an iguana family of modest means, you met your destiny by unwittingly hopping a boat to the mainland. Quickly mastering the art of gambling, you proceeded to rob everyone you knew blind. Fortunately, iguanas care little for money, so no one was very upset. You used your winnings to build a spa for molting lizards, so they could find comfort while they shed their skins. Thanks to the spa, you became a prominent public citizen and lived the rest of your life indulging your fantasy of singing popular lizard tunes.

And on top of all that, I met Charles Darwin On holiday in the Galapagos and told him all about this great little idea I had about animals changing into other kinds of animals! I think he wrote a book about our conversation, or something.

I knew I shared a deep affinity with the surfer turtles from Finding Nemo:

Come on out of your shell — in your former life you were a turtle name Gifford. The details are a bit sketchy, but we do have a brief summary based on public records: You were born in a small pond beside a saloon. Despite having an exceptionally athletic father, you seemed to prefer sunbathing and mud baths to more active pursuits. Contrary to the rumor, your favorite color was never green, but actually blue. Few people knew that you were a talented poet because most of your work was destroyed during a flash flood that swept away not only your library, but your entire community. Fortunately you had the pluck to survive, settle down, make some eggs, and live happily ever after with your wife Melinda and your 20 offspring.

Although why the hell I was called a 'gifford' :mad:

Grab your tux — in a past life you were an Emperor penguin of distinguished character and notable charm. Here's what we know about you: Adored by all, you looked particularly dashing in your top hat and tails. Quite the visionary, you brought popular theater to the ice-skating rink. "Cats...on Ice!" and "The Saturday Night Fever Ice Capades" were two of your best-received works and were especially big hits with your friends and neighbors. Your fame would have spread worldwide if not for the fact that you looked exactly like every other penguin on the ice cap. Frustrated, you made a brash attempt to assert your individuality: You threw away your penguin suit; purchased a racy, powder-blue number with frilly cuffs; and set sail for the mainland. International acclaim eluded you, but you were quite content spending the rest of your days in Tierra del Fuego, where your all-ice-skating production of "Hamlet" met with great praise and commercial success.

Don't go bananas — in your former life you were a tiny monkey named Oompa. Here's what we know about you: Adorably sweet demeanor and sharp as a tack, you found success working with a street performer named Juan, who worshipped you and treated you like his own child. He bought you a gold satin jumpsuit with royal blue ruffles, a matching top hat, and a sequined bag for donations. He would play your favorite disco tunes on his accordion, prompting you to dance around and flirt with the crowd while you collected spare change and picked pockets. Everybody loved you. And you loved everybody. You and Juan took your gig around the country and raked in the riches. You were one happy little monkey.


*snip*

Wow. Three people, including myself, were all the same little, adorable monkey. S/he must have been a rather disturbed, sociopathic monkey with plenty of voices in the head to spare.

(Sociopathic monkeys are the cutest, so don't get me wrong.)