Cabra West
08-06-2005, 13:27
For me, it's my mother.
She had one hell of a childhood, with a father who firmly believed in beating his children for their own good, who thought of independent thought as the begining of the end of Western culture, who didn't allow for the smallest liberties in his house (like, for example, friends visiting or my mother visiting friends of hers)
Needless to say, my mother looked for the quickest way out of her family, and married when she had just turned 20. She had never lived on her own, and she would never finish university wher she was studying to become a teacher. My grandfather had very early on made sure that she wouldn't follow her original dream of becoming a stewardess.
That way, she ended up with my father. No less abusive than her own father had been, unfair, shorttempered, insulting her in public, beating his children, making a splendid career but forbidding her to spend money. She didn't have a new set of clothes in 10 years, while her husband was investing in one house after another and in cars that got more and more expensive during the years.
After 17 years of that, she couldn't take it any more and left him. She found herself alone with 3 children in an apartment that was to small for all of them, so she had to sleep in the living room. Her parents refused to help her in any way, neither giving her money nor offering to look after the kids while she went back to school. In their opinion, it was shameful that she had left her husband (my grandmother told her "I couldn't stay a day with you husband, but stay for the love of god, what are we supposed to tell the neighbours?") Her brother helped her financially during that time, her husband refused to pay her anything.
After she had found a job and a bit of stability, she sued her husband to pay some money to see the kids through school. He refused, which gave me the chance to bring him to court for that. the law suit streched over years, leading nowhere, as he simply had the better lawyers, until finally it was settled outside the court.
My mother is living alone now, her kids are grown up. She never wants to have a man again in her life, and I can understand her. But the work contract she has will end this year, and it is very doubtful that she will get a new contract as she is 54 now. She might face unemployment or early retirement, she has very little on the side, she never could save much money, so she has to dread the future again....
I'm trying to help all I can, but I had to leave the country in order to get work, both her sons live far away as well. I'm sorry for that, and I'm sorry that she had to fight herself through a life like this...
Who do you pity? Or feel sorry for?
She had one hell of a childhood, with a father who firmly believed in beating his children for their own good, who thought of independent thought as the begining of the end of Western culture, who didn't allow for the smallest liberties in his house (like, for example, friends visiting or my mother visiting friends of hers)
Needless to say, my mother looked for the quickest way out of her family, and married when she had just turned 20. She had never lived on her own, and she would never finish university wher she was studying to become a teacher. My grandfather had very early on made sure that she wouldn't follow her original dream of becoming a stewardess.
That way, she ended up with my father. No less abusive than her own father had been, unfair, shorttempered, insulting her in public, beating his children, making a splendid career but forbidding her to spend money. She didn't have a new set of clothes in 10 years, while her husband was investing in one house after another and in cars that got more and more expensive during the years.
After 17 years of that, she couldn't take it any more and left him. She found herself alone with 3 children in an apartment that was to small for all of them, so she had to sleep in the living room. Her parents refused to help her in any way, neither giving her money nor offering to look after the kids while she went back to school. In their opinion, it was shameful that she had left her husband (my grandmother told her "I couldn't stay a day with you husband, but stay for the love of god, what are we supposed to tell the neighbours?") Her brother helped her financially during that time, her husband refused to pay her anything.
After she had found a job and a bit of stability, she sued her husband to pay some money to see the kids through school. He refused, which gave me the chance to bring him to court for that. the law suit streched over years, leading nowhere, as he simply had the better lawyers, until finally it was settled outside the court.
My mother is living alone now, her kids are grown up. She never wants to have a man again in her life, and I can understand her. But the work contract she has will end this year, and it is very doubtful that she will get a new contract as she is 54 now. She might face unemployment or early retirement, she has very little on the side, she never could save much money, so she has to dread the future again....
I'm trying to help all I can, but I had to leave the country in order to get work, both her sons live far away as well. I'm sorry for that, and I'm sorry that she had to fight herself through a life like this...
Who do you pity? Or feel sorry for?