Kervoskia
07-06-2005, 23:34
In order to demonstrate how corrupt our political system is, I want to write a handbook about how to succeed politically. It will be cynical and snide, basically it's a satire. I will then mail a copy to my representatives and give them to some political science students so that they will be better prepared to handle it.
I start out with stating somethings that I see as political "rules" of Washington.
1. This rule is by far the most important, always cover yourself. You don't need facts per se, and even if you haven't any, clever rhetoric will suffice. If you lack either one then what ever you said will return to haunt you.Never let the people know your true motives.
2. This rule is more for protecting you against political enemies. Always abide by the 'never say never' rule. This means you must never, under any circumstances, say you never did this or that. I will draw an example from a former president, "I never had sexual relations with that woman." One may dodge the question, but never deny it unless one is either prepared to defend one's claim or if one doesn't it will end one's political career.
3. I call this rule the 'Billy Carter rule'. This relates to family members. If you have any homosexual or illegitimate children, make that fact extremely well-hidden, lest you want to be attacked by the press. This also applies to siblings and parents. If they're already distant, make them even more so.
4. Never, whether it be a debate or a press conference, be direct. One should always remain esoteric and make one's answers riddled in so-called 'buzzwords' and talking points from the party line.
5.This is the 'Hitler rule'. Basically it means you should come to every rally and scheduled appearances late. Never be punctual. In theory this will make the crowd all the more eager to hear what you have to say.
6. Pre-emptive attacks are your dearest friends. One must always attack one's opponent before he she even conceives of attacking you. This will give you the upper hand. If they do attack you apply the concept of 'an eye for an eye', except take it a step further, 'two eyes for an eye.' Opportunism is a must in politics. It is required for survival.
7. Play the values card. Claim that you share the same values as the voters and possess the moral fiber to their elected official. Claim your opponent does not and label him or an ideologue and an elitist. When it comes to religion it is safest to claim to be Christian, more specifically a protestant.
8.Claim that every decision you have made and will make has and will benefit the people. Claim that the opposite is true of your opponent.
9.Label everyone. Take advantage of the fact that most people in the United States think within terms of black and white and the left-right political system. People are afraid of extreme so claim to be a 'moderate'.
10. Always abide by the party line.You should join a party and use that parties reputation to your advantage.
Then I move into some "rules" for propaganda.
1. Opinions != FACTS
2. It selects one group or people as the enemy so that you will have someone to place blame on and direct all the ill-will that would have gone to you. This group does not have to be an ethinic group. Be careful though, hatred is such a strong emotion that it can quickly become uncontrolable. Make sure that you are able to contain this hatred. Keep the social environment relatively stable.
3.Have a certian degree of practicality in your methods. Also, do not begin your propaganda campaign with unrealistic problems. You must first gain the trust of the people, then you will have more free reign. If you do not follow this, the masses will be able to see through the sharade.
4. Make sure that it has a message of hope, it does not have to be true only convincing enough to attract the ears of the people. People are generally opitmistic and you have to satisfy their yearning for hope. In turn they will have faith in you, that is valuable characteristic for propaganda.
5. Present yout propaganda passionately. Create the illusion that you have the solution and that you actually care about the people. Use the ten rules of politics as a guide.
6. Propaganda must consist of your ideology or whatever it is you wish for the people to believe. Hide it in a web of empty promises. Also, always compare and contrast your ideal vision with the current state of affairs, or you may use juxstiposition.
7. It should contains high degrees nationalism and patriotism, or some illusion of it. If the war becomes exceptionally popular, militarism would be a wonderful addition, though you must be more careful when handeling it.
8. A person is intelligent and resourceful, people are ignorant and helpless. Be weary of opinionated dissenters.
9. If dissenters grow in power, attack them and label them as part of your scapegoat group. If possible, do not allow them to rise to prominence, as that makes propaganda much more difficult.
I know that many of you are poltically savvy and I would like your help writing it. It's nothing much and I will put your name on it if you want. I already chose the name, The Devil's Handbook.
I start out with stating somethings that I see as political "rules" of Washington.
1. This rule is by far the most important, always cover yourself. You don't need facts per se, and even if you haven't any, clever rhetoric will suffice. If you lack either one then what ever you said will return to haunt you.Never let the people know your true motives.
2. This rule is more for protecting you against political enemies. Always abide by the 'never say never' rule. This means you must never, under any circumstances, say you never did this or that. I will draw an example from a former president, "I never had sexual relations with that woman." One may dodge the question, but never deny it unless one is either prepared to defend one's claim or if one doesn't it will end one's political career.
3. I call this rule the 'Billy Carter rule'. This relates to family members. If you have any homosexual or illegitimate children, make that fact extremely well-hidden, lest you want to be attacked by the press. This also applies to siblings and parents. If they're already distant, make them even more so.
4. Never, whether it be a debate or a press conference, be direct. One should always remain esoteric and make one's answers riddled in so-called 'buzzwords' and talking points from the party line.
5.This is the 'Hitler rule'. Basically it means you should come to every rally and scheduled appearances late. Never be punctual. In theory this will make the crowd all the more eager to hear what you have to say.
6. Pre-emptive attacks are your dearest friends. One must always attack one's opponent before he she even conceives of attacking you. This will give you the upper hand. If they do attack you apply the concept of 'an eye for an eye', except take it a step further, 'two eyes for an eye.' Opportunism is a must in politics. It is required for survival.
7. Play the values card. Claim that you share the same values as the voters and possess the moral fiber to their elected official. Claim your opponent does not and label him or an ideologue and an elitist. When it comes to religion it is safest to claim to be Christian, more specifically a protestant.
8.Claim that every decision you have made and will make has and will benefit the people. Claim that the opposite is true of your opponent.
9.Label everyone. Take advantage of the fact that most people in the United States think within terms of black and white and the left-right political system. People are afraid of extreme so claim to be a 'moderate'.
10. Always abide by the party line.You should join a party and use that parties reputation to your advantage.
Then I move into some "rules" for propaganda.
1. Opinions != FACTS
2. It selects one group or people as the enemy so that you will have someone to place blame on and direct all the ill-will that would have gone to you. This group does not have to be an ethinic group. Be careful though, hatred is such a strong emotion that it can quickly become uncontrolable. Make sure that you are able to contain this hatred. Keep the social environment relatively stable.
3.Have a certian degree of practicality in your methods. Also, do not begin your propaganda campaign with unrealistic problems. You must first gain the trust of the people, then you will have more free reign. If you do not follow this, the masses will be able to see through the sharade.
4. Make sure that it has a message of hope, it does not have to be true only convincing enough to attract the ears of the people. People are generally opitmistic and you have to satisfy their yearning for hope. In turn they will have faith in you, that is valuable characteristic for propaganda.
5. Present yout propaganda passionately. Create the illusion that you have the solution and that you actually care about the people. Use the ten rules of politics as a guide.
6. Propaganda must consist of your ideology or whatever it is you wish for the people to believe. Hide it in a web of empty promises. Also, always compare and contrast your ideal vision with the current state of affairs, or you may use juxstiposition.
7. It should contains high degrees nationalism and patriotism, or some illusion of it. If the war becomes exceptionally popular, militarism would be a wonderful addition, though you must be more careful when handeling it.
8. A person is intelligent and resourceful, people are ignorant and helpless. Be weary of opinionated dissenters.
9. If dissenters grow in power, attack them and label them as part of your scapegoat group. If possible, do not allow them to rise to prominence, as that makes propaganda much more difficult.
I know that many of you are poltically savvy and I would like your help writing it. It's nothing much and I will put your name on it if you want. I already chose the name, The Devil's Handbook.