NationStates Jolt Archive

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"President Bush met with Palestinian president Abbas. There was one embarrassing moment when he said to Abbas. 'I love your hit, Dancing Queen.'" --Jay Leno

"Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice had lunch with U2's Bono to talk about Third World debt. Is he the best choice? I mean if your going to talk to a rock star who's an expert on massive debt then maybe MC Hammer's the guy you want to talk to." --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney was the commencement speaker at Auburn University over the weekend. He told the graduates he actually dropped out of Yale. He dropped out of Yale! You know what that means? Bush could be the smart one!" --Jay Leno

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An oldie which everyone probably already knows:

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An oldie which everyone probably already knows

I didn't :-)

*Inspired by Hot Shots*

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Your little x strikes fear into our hearts.

Your little x strikes fear into our hearts.
it was working for me two minutes ago

"Yasser Arafat died last night. And this time it looks pretty permanent. How many times did he die this week? Like five? Six? He was turning into Kenny on 'South Park.'" —Jay Leno

"President Bush is in the Middle East this week to promote his Middle East peace plan. I don't think Bush quite gets it. Like today he said, 'Everything would work out in the Middle East if the Palestinians and the Israelis would just start acting like good Christians.'" —Jay Leno

"An Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's heart in a heart transplant operation. The guy is doing fine, but the bad news is, he can't stop throwing rocks at himself." —Jay Leno

"Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon arrived in Washington Sunday night to give President Bush a 91-page book proving that Yasser Arafat funded terrorists. White House sources say that President Bush has the book and is almost done coloring it." —Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"The Democrats said today that if they were in power they could get Israel to pull out of Palestine. Oh shut up. They couldn't even get Bill to pull out of Monica." —Jay Leno

"Yasser Arafat is sleeping on the floor in his office with his closest aides. He is the first leader to do that since Clinton." —Jay Leno

"According to Palestinian sources Yasser Arafat is dead but improving." —David Letterman