NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay! Here's the scenario!

6am, you answer the door to find God...drunk and in shambles. He states that he cannot take the maddness, stupidity, and psychotics claiming to be doing his work anymore. He wants to retire to the land of "I-don't-give-a-damn-anymore". He chose you at random to take over as God. He tells you to do ANYTHING you want with the world's religions.

You've always wanted to start your own religion...Now you have a chance! You're God now, what do you do?

I blow up the earth, and send everyone to heaven, as I have customized it. Simple.

I blow up the earth, and send everyone to heaven, as I have customized it. Simple.

Sometimes simplicity works best.

It seems to me everyone is trying to customize their own religion anyway. It is the trend. Everyone wants truth on their own terms. No one is seeking after the real truth, that is the same for everyone. Everyone says, "this is my truth, or these are the rituals that make me feel good."

Judge people on the lives they live instead of how much faith they have.....then let most poeple into heaven anyway 'cause testing them was messed up to begin with.

I would probably rip off Slaaneshi Chaos. Completely. Even the daemons. I am "God" after all, or in this case Slaanesh.

as I have customized it

That's the key here: how would you customize it?

Me, I'm not sure yet, but it'd probably involve sex and apricots.

Your thought experiment is inherintly anti-polytheistic but...

I have no idea. OHHH, Id make the Greek/Roman polytheis with human like gods real. Except without thoes gods. With newer better gods like in American Gods. They could procreate and such. They'd have their holy board game.

I am so glad that God is in control! I could never do what he does. He is at work today! Some day he will deliver this world from the brokeness that we have made, but now we have the CHOICE to choose him and the son he sent to save us.

We already have.

Your thought experiment is inherintly anti-polytheistic but...

I have no idea. OHHH, Id make the Greek/Roman polytheis with human like gods real. Except without thoes gods. With newer better gods like in American Gods. They could procreate and such. They'd have their holy board game.

I don't know about how nice that would be. The new gods in American Gods were royal bastards.

Some sort of polytheism, or at least limited power, would make the job more interesting though.

Okay! Here's the scenario!

6am, you answer the door to find God...drunk and in shambles. He states that he cannot take the maddness, stupidity, and psychotics claiming to be doing his work anymore. He wants to retire to the land of "I-don't-give-a-damn-anymore".

Dunmanifestin?

He chose you at random to take over as God. He tells you to do ANYTHING you want with the world's religions.

You've always wanted to start your own religion...Now you have a chance! You're God now, what do you do?

I'd rather stay away from that. Religion is a human product. As God I think it is best not to tinker with free will. Or tell people how to live for that matter.

I am so glad that God is in control! I could never do what he does. He is at work today! Some day he will deliver this world from the brokeness that we have made, but now we have the CHOICE to choose him and the son he sent to save us.

This isn't parodyish enough. You are voted off the island.

I am so glad that God is in control! I could never do what he does. He is at work today! Some day he will deliver this world from the brokeness that we have made, but now we have the CHOICE to choose him and the son he sent to save us.

If I was God, I'd rid the world of off-topic propaganda :)

I'd rather stay away from that. Religion is a human product. As God I think it is best not to tinker with free will. Or tell people how to live for that matter.

Aww, but that's the best part, the cult! I'd have mine making various sacrifices, and having orgiastic rites, and....(salivates)

I'd rather stay away from that. Religion is a human product. As God I think it is best not to tinker with free will. Or tell people how to live for that matter.

...What?

You're omnipotent now, and you ain't gonna do ANYTHING with it? Honestly! Don't tell me you would'nt want to screw around with humanity!

That's the key here: how would you customize it?

Me, I'm not sure yet, but it'd probably involve sex and apricots.

It would be a lot like earth. Except nobody would work, everyone could fly, and nobody could die or feel much physical pain(There would still be some, but it would never be fatal, and could be drugged away). People would be able to live forever, or reset themselves to a blank slate(as a child) if they wanted. They could also cast themselves into nothingness(real death) though they would be brought back every few thousand years though, to ask if they wanted to come back or not.

Celebrities would be afforded as much or little privacy as they wanted, or just do nothing, having their works being made with them not actually doing anything. Their choice. People would get large allowances of money every week or so, giving each person a 100,000 or so dollar budget every year(that they can spend any way they want). People could and would live solely for enjoyment. The way it should be.

Aww, but that's the best part, the cult! I'd have mine making various sacrifices, and having orgiastic rites, and....(salivates)

You mean you have be part of a cult to do that?

You mean you have be part of a cult to do that?

No, but getting a lot of other people to think they're doing it for a good cause is half the fun!

...What?

You're omnipotent now, and you ain't gonna do ANYTHING with it? Honestly! Don't tell me you would'nt want to screw around with humanity!

No. I'd build a huge Ivory Tower in the middle of Liverpool (the Radio City tower would make a good one) and yell at scallies from it.

It would be a lot like earth. Except nobody would work, everyone could fly, and nobody could die or feel much physical pain(There would still be some, but it would never be fatal, and could be drugged away). People would be able to live forever, or reset themselves to a blank slate(as a child) if they wanted. They could also cast themselves into nothingness(real death) though they would be brought back every few thousand years though, to ask if they wanted to come back or not.

I vote Chellis for the position of God.

I vote Chellis for the position of God.

Too late, last year we had an election for God at my school and the kid who organized it won.

Too late, last year we had an election for God at my school and the kid who organized it won.

Pfft... Nuts to that. We need a revolution, John Milton style.

"Paradise Lost" anyone?

You shall all worship the evil monkey in my closet.

http://mike.imginsanity.com/evilmonkey2.jpg (http:///mike.imginsanity.com/evilmonkey2.jpg)

http://mike.imginsanity.com/evilmonkey2.jpg

Yep, that's my new desktop wallpaper.

:fluffle: the monkey.

Send out an new saviour and tell him to spread the word of god.
Then spend the rest of his life using god powers to protect from all the extremists/conservatives that will try and kill him.
Have him write the Really New Testament and spread the word of tolerance, acceptance and peace
Smite al Quada and all other extremists

Send out an new saviour and tell him to spread the word of god.
Then spend the rest of his life using god powers to protect from all the extremists/conservatives that will try and kill him.
Have him write the Really New Testament and spread the word of tolerance, acceptance and peace
Smite al Quada and all other extremists


Why smite? Would it not be better to just show these people the error of their ways?

Go to the closest physics lab and demonstrate my omnipotence under laboratory conditions.

If I can't do it, I'd go along happily to the psychiatric hospital.

If I can, I'd start messing in just about everything.

I would just tell everyone to be nice to each other... but the last guy who did that got nailed to a tree. I think I'll pass for not.

Why smite? Would it not be better to just show these people the error of their ways?

That's what the smiting is for.
I'm reasonable, but there is too much innocent/relatively innocent blood on their hands

Another use of my powers would be to empower worthy judges with the ability to detect falsehoods, and sentence appropiately

Some possible commandments
Commandment 1 Thou shall not treat people as things.
Commandment 2 Most of the sins are pretty much covered by Commandment 1, think about it and do what is right.
Commandment 3 Thou shall not attempt to convert people by the sword, or by the Saturday 8am Knock on the door. Convert only the interested.
Commandment 4 Thou shall smite the infidel with cunning arguments rather than dogma, and only use weapons as necessary.
Commandment 5 If thou will judge, do so by deeds of thought and action, not on hearsay and what the little old woman down the road says
Commandment 6 Churches are not necessary, all men come before God eventually.
Commandment 7 Refrain from unnecessary judgement, it does not achieve anything other than hate and prejudice

Okay! Here's the scenario!

6am, you answer the door to find God...drunk and in shambles. He states that he cannot take the maddness, stupidity, and psychotics claiming to be doing his work anymore. He wants to retire to the land of "I-don't-give-a-damn-anymore". He chose you at random to take over as God. He tells you to do ANYTHING you want with the world's religions.

You've always wanted to start your own religion...Now you have a chance! You're God now, what do you do?

The tennants of my religion would be this ... try to be good to eachother
Do your best

But even if you dont I am all loving and will forgive you ... I would understand in the end
No belief required no rules or regs ... humanity can do that on their own

I'd certainly endorse use of the peyote in religious services! LOL :D :cool: :eek:

I'd reorganize human existence into an eternal LSD trip (without any bad trips). People would roam about in communal pirate ships floating upon a sea with a 3-dimensional forest projected and inverted into 2 dimensions. All the pirates would be naked.

Phish would be playing an infinite jam segueing into a million billion different songs, all improvised. Every Phish song would somehow be shaped like a flower, each one infinitely more beautiful than each other one.

Every political system would work as well as it did on paper as it did in practice. Not that politics would be necessary of course, but it'd still be nice.

Instead of protons and electrons, there would be 192 different kinds of miniscule, multi-colored lizards-they would be visible to the naked eye even though they are as tiny as sub-atomic particles. The novelty of this would never wear off.

In addition to people having the usual five senses, 28 more senses would be present. All of them would be perceivable only through surfing.

I want you to be god.

I want you to be god.

Good. I start right away.

Hmm... I would blow up the ocean... Just because, being god, I could do that.

with complete omnipotence, I'd have to have complete omniscience before I could make any decisions on what to do. If I had limitations, I could make a guess now, but with all the powers *A* god would have- Given to me, it'd be a tad difficult to decide.

You've always wanted to start your own religion...Now you have a chance! You're God now, what do you do?


Cancel it.

I would descend from the heavens right above Mecca, and proceed to backhand every Muslim fundamentalist one by one, and tell them that they were all wrong and going to hell. I would smite anyone who chose not to believe.

Then I would repeat this action above the Bible Belt and do the same to every right-wing, Jerry-Falwell-loving, Christian Conservative Republican.

Id make every person a god of his or her own universe (And allow them to procreate like in my other post).

And here is a question to anyone who thinks a God can be omnipotent:

Could Jesus microwave a burrito SO hot that he himself could not eat it?
-or-
Could God create an object that he couldn't move?

Okay! Here's the scenario!

6am, you answer the door to find God...drunk and in shambles. He states that he cannot take the maddness, stupidity, and psychotics claiming to be doing his work anymore. He wants to retire to the land of "I-don't-give-a-damn-anymore". He chose you at random to take over as God. He tells you to do ANYTHING you want with the world's religions.

You've always wanted to start your own religion...Now you have a chance! You're God now, what do you do?

In a fictional universe that I made up and based my nationstate on, the creator god is the first, original supreme dimension, composed of pure energy. It was so vast and unfathomable that it was a mystery even to itself, so it partitioned some of its own energy to create three demigods in an attempt to examine itself. But since there was no such thing as time yet, so nothing could happen in any kind of perspective.
So the creator god changed some of its energy into matter and set off the Big Bang, creating the universe and with it time and space to serve as a relative 'point' to give the demigod kids some perspective to view it from. But as the universe started to take shape and life began to evolve inside it the kids got curious and went into the universe instead to explore, and being nearly all-powerful on account of predating the universe and drawing their power from the bottomless well of energy outside the universe, they ended up leading vast empires over billions of years.
The Techosai were among the first followers of one of these demigods and they had the benefit of basing their religion on the teachings of a being with first-hand experience of god and creation and everything since. My nationstate Techosai believe they're a remote colony of one of these huge interstellar empires, one that acts as a peace-keeper across the universe.
So most religious Techosai people are Truists; they would argue that they have facts instead of beliefs. There are two sects.
Thestorians (as in "the story") are religious students of history. They have no single holy text, but they are rigorous researchers who maintain vast archives of historical records of the past and keep meticulous records of the present in the belief that the past can inform and give meaning and optimal guidance to the present. The trust what records and reliable witnesses can tell them and they always want to leave the best mark possible in history.
Realitarians share Thestorians interest in history but are far more devoted to science and philosophy (specifically physics and existentialism) because they believe that only that which can be proven actually exists. They are committed to discovering the true nature of everything and understanding reality, driven by a desire to add to the collective knowledge of all civilisation.
Both sects are similar in their values and virtues: truth and honesty, objectivity, curiosity for knowledge, open-mindedness, generosity, compassion, tranquility, order, and justice. All Truists desire peace, but abhor destructiveness and anarchy and will prosecute with extreme prejudice those who instigate wars of aggression.

I would make some basic rules like that everyone should worship me and obey my every command etc then hand over actually leadership to someone else so I wouldn't have to do anything.

Okay! Here's the scenario!

6am, you answer the door to find God...drunk and in shambles. He states that he cannot take the maddness, stupidity, and psychotics claiming to be doing his work anymore. He wants to retire to the land of "I-don't-give-a-damn-anymore". He chose you at random to take over as God. He tells you to do ANYTHING you want with the world's religions.

You've always wanted to start your own religion...Now you have a chance! You're God now, what do you do?

First, I'd get rid of the "Big 3." If you have failed to evolve beyond the primitive stupidity of the patriarchal religions, you can just go the way of the dodo. Thanks for playing.

Other than that, as long as you can live and let live - peacefully - you can continue on with whatever it was you were doing before you were so rudely interrupted. Have a nice day.

I'd rewrite the physics books which call anything a "law". Laws can be broken by choice, but my followers cannot "break" the "law" of gravity.

Also, I'd make doritos and guinness grow on trees, while medium rare fillet mignon grows on bushes. Mosquitoes and some forms of flies along with killer bees become extinct. The temperature remains a constant 70 degrees with a slight breeze blowing all the time.

I'd also give all humans super-cool powers like the Justice League (sans Batman) and the X-Men(and X-Women, of course).

I'd have my worshippers smoke weed all day and pretend that God is actually a long dead former emperor of Ethiopia.

I'd have my worshippers smoke weed all day and pretend that God is actually a long dead former emperor of Ethiopia.

It's been done. :D

I'd go with the infinite Phish songs and extra senses whilst surfing one, really.

My religion will be about a mighty space-emperor who kills a bunch of undesirable aliens on prehistoric earth with nuclear bombs. The spirits of these undesirable aliens now infesting every living human on earth, and only through really expensive classes and books can you rid yourself of these naughty ghosts. Oh yeah, John Travolta will star in a movie based off of one of my earlier science fiction books.

...wait.....

It's been done. :D

:rolleyes: That was kinda the point, hehe :p