NationStates Jolt Archive

Here's a few of mine.

"A very positive message."
-- Quayle after listening to a sermon in which a Georgia minister condemned homosexuality as 'satanic' (Newsweek, 11/92).

"Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists." - Dan Quayle

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." - Dan Quayle

My fellow Americans, I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes. -Ronald Reagan, about to go on the air for a radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on

"The economy, is in a hell of a mess."- Ronald Reagan during his radio address and was unaware that he was already on air.

"Who's the fat Guy?" Al Gore on a guided tour of monticello upon seeing a bust of Benjamin Franklin.

Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison"
Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"

"Ich bin ein Berliner"

"The best exercises are humping and pumping." -Arnold Schwarzenegger during an interview.

"I don't know what I would do without Whitelaw. Everyone should have a Willy."
Margaret Thatcher.

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
George Bush.

"I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin. You never know if someone's tape recording what you say."
Richard Nixon.

"I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
Jimmy Carter.

Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison"
Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"

Another From Churchill.

Lady Astor: Sir, you are drunk!
Churchill: Yes, but you are ugly, and in the morning, I shall be sober, and you shall still be ugly.

"Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber."
-Plato-

"The price of greatness is responsibility."
-Winston Churchill-

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, he proposes to pay off the debt with your money.
-Don't Know-

"How do you tell a Communist? It's someone who reads Lenin and Marx. How do you tell an anti Communist? Someone who understands Lenin and Marx"
-Ronald Raegan-

"I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left."
-Margaret Thatcher-

" Is our children learning?"
" I think the humans and the fish, can co-exist."
" Will the highways of the internet become more few."
George W. Bush

"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group that believes you can do these things. Among them are a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man. Their number is negligible and they are stupid." -President Eisenhower, 1954

(Holy shit! The guy was predicting the future?!)

"I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse." --First Lady Laura Bush

"From my point of view, they are the anti-Christ of the world." --Sen. Ken Salazar (D-CO) on Focus on the Family, the influential religious right group run by James Dobson (I'm glad someone had the guts to say it!)

"I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse." --First Lady Laura Bush

That says a lot about the man's level of intelligence... Wow.

It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right. Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife.

- John Cornyn






To ask the Secretary of State for the Home Department what action the Government propose in respect of the import of (a) khat, (b) gammahydroxybutyrate and (c) "cake" to the United Kingdom.

- David Amess MP, under the impression that "Cake" was an actual drug rather then a product of Chris Morrises imagination.

"They are things on the internets..."
-George W. Bush

"We are not prepared to stand idly by and be murdered in our beds.' - Paisley.

"We are not prepared to stand idly by and be murdered in our beds.' - Paisley.

Also.

"I denounce you. Anti-Christ"

(To the Pope at the European Parliament, I think)

Also.

"I denounce you. Anti-Christ"

(To the Pope at the European Parliament, I think)

Are you suggesting that the whore of Rome hasn't debased the Chrisitian religion?

Tony Blair said after the Good Friday deal

"Today isnt a day for soundbites...I can trully feel the hand of history on our shoulders"

In a single sentence, Tony Blair managed to be hypocritical - and people still voted for him.

Are you suggesting that the whore of Rome hasn't debased the Chrisitian religion?

You mean it wasn't debased already? :confused:


Tony Blair said after the Good Friday deal

"Today isnt a day for soundbites...I can trully feel the hand of history on our shoulders"

In a single sentence, Tony Blair managed to be hypocritical - and people still voted for him.

*flashes back to Politics A-level*

Those were the days.

It wasn't just that he was being a major hypocrite. He sounded so earnest saying it. I think he actually believes his own bullshit.

Tony Blair said after the Good Friday deal

"Today isnt a day for soundbites...I can trully feel the hand of history on our shoulders"

In a single sentence, Tony Blair managed to be hypocritical - and people still voted for him.
:p I remember that, he is such a hypocritical arse. Remember his line

"I think i'm a pretty straight kind of guy"

I don't know if this is a true quote, as I heard someone else say it:

"We enjoy watching baseball on the radio."

-Gerald Ford

"What is the nature of you thoughts when you say Fuddle Duddle?"
-Pierre Trudeau

That says a lot about the man's level of intelligence... Wow.
It might say a bit about his libido as well. That was his wife speaking, after all ... conservatives, indeed!
Oh wait, isn't there a thread around here about conservatives and beastiality?
;)

man, these are awesome.

"I am strongly in favor of using poision gas against uncivillized native peoples- to put a lively terror in them"

-Winstion Churchill


I've got a few from Eisenhower, but they're not really funny, just about how the military and US in general is f-ed up

"Two problems of our country - energy and malaise." - Jimmy Carter

"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first." - Ronald Reagan

"The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it." - Ronald Reagan

------ Not politician quotes, but still poignient. :D ------

"I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat." - Will Rogers

"Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for." - Will Rogers

"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer." - Will Rogers

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." - Will Rogers

------ Finally, one of the truest statements EVER made. ------

"While the State exists, there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State." - Vladimir Lenin

That says a lot about the man's level of intelligence... Wow.

I beleive that was a joke, not serious. It's fictional.

That says a lot about the man's level of intelligence... Wow.
Unfortunately for whatever idiot is trying to use a joke as political ammo, that quote was taken out of context, seeing as it was at the White House Correspondents Dinner, where the speeches are entirely made up of humor.

I could go on, and on, and on...


"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

Dan Quayle

Paraphrased: "He who is not a socialist at 19 has no heart. He who is not a conservative at thirty has no brain." Many versions of this quote have been used by various political figures, including Bismark and Churchill.

"Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied." Otto von Bismarck

"The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia." Bismarck

"If there is ever another war in Europe, it will come out of some damned silly thing in the Balkans." and "The whole of the Balkans are not worth the bones of a Pommeranian Grenadier." Bismark (Many different versions of the second exist).

"Politics is the art of the possible, the attainable - the art of the next best" Bismark

“A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven.” Jean Chretein (former Canadian PM).

"It would be a great reform in politics id wisdom could spread as rapidly as folly." Winston Churchill

God must exist because of "the existence of Lenin and Trotsky for whom a hell is needed." Churchill

"In Russia a man is called reactionary if he objects to having his property stolen and his wife and children killed." Churchill

"Diplomacy is the art of telling plain truths without giving offence." Churchill

"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of commmunism is the equal sharing of miseries." Churchill

"Diplomacy is the art of telling someone to go to hell and making him look forward to the trip." I don't know.

Dan Quale is just a font of these things, isn't he?

Unfortunately for whatever idiot is trying to use a joke as political ammo, that quote was taken out of context, seeing as it was at the White House Correspondents Dinner, where the speeches are entirely made up of humor.
You mean me? Say you mean me ... *blushes*
You know what the strongest humour was of that? On Monday AND Tuesday of the next week Michael Savage couldn't stop bitching that he didn't get invited to it. He was near cataplexy in between *common* shouts and fits of vitriol and descriptions of what he ate and what his dog was worth to him (note: a week or so ago he publicly stated thus:
"Women are getting so testy, a lot of men are turning to little dogs." - Michael Savage) and how Bush was a liberal and the whole thing was a pandering treasonous event. Funny how Whoopi Goldberg didn't come up.

To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: "Don't be economic girlie men!"

My favourite Governator quote, good old Arnie!

"What will you call it?" - Heckler implying Henry Parkes, founder of Australian Federation (unification) is so fat he must be pregnant. Henry Parkes replied, "If it's a boy I'll name it after my father, if it's a girl I'll name it after my mother, but if it's just shit, piss and wind I'll name it after you."

"More and more of our inports are comming from overseas" Dan Quayle

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed; those who are cold and are not clothed"

-President Dwight D.Eisenhower


"Whosoever shall be guilty of rape, polygamy, or sodomy with a man or woman, shall be punished; if a man, by castration, a woman, by boring through the cartilage of her nose a hole of one half inch in diameter at the least"

- Thomas Jefferson



commenting on the deaths of more than half a million children, "I think that this is a very hard choice, but the price - we think the price is worth it"

- Madeleine Albright, as US Secretary of State



"This is likely to be administered for a course of years and then end in despotism ... when the people shall become so corrupted as to need despotic government, being incapable of any other"

- Benjamin Franklin in a speech to delegates to the US Constitutional Convention prior to the final vote on the new constitution




"He has not developed any significant capability with respect to weapons of mass destruction. He is unable to project conventional power against his neighbours"

-Colin Powell, 2001, refering to President Hissein



warned of "the acquisition of unwarranted influence by the US military-industrial complex" and its potential to "endanger liberties and the democratic processes"

-President, General Dwight Eisenhower



"If our country were defeated, I hope we should find a champion as admirable (as Hitler) to restore our courage and lead us back to our place among the nations"

- Churchill




"What has miserable, inefficient Mexico to do with the great mission of peopling the New World with a noble race?"

-Walt Whitman


urged suspicious attention to any proposed new law or regulation that comes from businessmen, because "they have generally an interest to deceive and even to oppress the public"

-Adam Smith



"To occupy Iraq would instantly shatter our coalition, turning the whole Arab world against us and make a broken tyrant into a latter-day hero ... assigning young soldiers to a fruitless hunt for a securely entrenched dictator and condemning them to fight in what would be an un-winnable urban guerilla war. It could only plunge that part of the world into even greater instability."

-George Bush Senior, 1998

"How fortunate for leaders that men do not think."
- Adolf Hitler

Funny because it is true, not because it is humourous in and of itself.

"We need breathing room" - Hitler in 1938

"We hear war called murder. It is not; it is suicide." James Ramsay MacDonald, British Prime Minister

"Patriotism corrupts history." Goethe

"Whenever a fellow tells me he is bipartisan I know he is going to vote against me." Harry Truman

"If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking." Lyndon B. Johnson

"Better to have him inside the tent pissing out, then outside the tent pissing in." Lyndon Johnson

“I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.” Charles De Gaulle

"Politics are a labyrinth without a clue." John Adams

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." Winston Churchill

"A fanatic is one who won't change his mind and won't change the subject." Winston Churchill

"Too bad ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation." Henry Kissinger