NationStates Jolt Archive

What would you say...?

I would tell them that they' have something on their shirt, and put my finger on their chests. When they looked down, I'd flick them on the nose. Ha Ha!

I'd say,

"How can you justify killing thousands of innocent people of all religions and all races?"

"How can you still believe you are headed to paradise if you do this?"

Way to go asshole! Kill yourself and a bunch of other people to make some crazy old men in the middle east happy, good job! We all stand in awe of your vast intellect.

I wouldn't say anthing. I'd slit their throats and throw them off the plane.

What would you say...?


Sit down! I'm trying to watch the movie!

One thing? How about,

"Thanks for interrupting my regularly scheduled programming, ya a**holes!"

Id say, while they were still in the airport terminal "SO WHAT IS IT LIKE BEING A TERRORIST?" In the loudest voice possible, that way they would miss their flight while being under investigation. 9/11 would therefor be prevented.

Nothing you can say to such men will make a difference. That being the case, it's better just to put a ten-inch nail into the base of their skulls quietly, and forward their case to a higher power for final judgement.

"Did you know your beliefs contradict the beliefs in the Koran, therefore you're not Muslims you jackasses!"

I would sing the Star Spangled Banner while beating them to death with a flag pole made from Abraham Lincoln's preserved ashes. Yeah.

I would ask: D'you really think your God envisoned you killing people in His name?

I wouldn't say anthing. I'd slit their throats and throw them off the plane.

Same. Minus the opening an airplane door while in flight bit that is... Any flight I was on would have been like the one that crashed in PA. If I'm dying, you are too, and fuck whatever agenda you think you have, I'll kill that too. :D

"Yes, that's the twin towers right there. That great big airstrip-looking-like thing. That's them alright. Go get 'em, tiger!"

I know youre fighting for your ideals, but seriously, this isnt the best way to do it.

and then show them what the results of it were

If you wanna knock down skyscrapers so much teh ndo it in your own god damn country!! oh thats right your country can't afford them!!

(i think that if i said this to them they would forget bout knocking down the towers and just jump me)

You just proved all the propaganda correct.

I would say "fuck ye" whilst giving them a face full of head. I would then steal his AK-47 and attempt to kill anyone who hijacked the plane, before being shot and recieving a hero's funeral.

Die fighting. It's the best way. Except from dying trying to prevent fighting.

I would say "fuck ye" whilst giving them a face full of head. I would then steal his AK-47 and attempt to kill anyone who hijacked the plane, before being shot and recieving a hero's funeral.

Die fighting. It's the best way. Except from dying trying to prevent fighting.
I don't think they had Ak-47's. Am i wrong? :confused:

"I will FIGHT you!"

or

"Hey! Alah told me to stop you! I think he's playing both sides against the middle here!"

i'd say....


ENCORE!

just kidding guys just kidding........

What would you say...?

I would tell them that they' have something on their shirt, and put my finger on their chests. When they looked down, I'd flick them on the nose. Ha Ha!
I'd say "Say CHEESE!" as I pressed the muzzle of a Desert Eagle against their foreheads and pulled the trigger.

I don't think they had Ak-47's. Am i wrong? :confused:

I don't think we'll ever know, really. As it is the stereotypical terrorists weapon of choice, I used that. If Saddam had 50 gold-plated MP5's, I would have said that instead.

Ill congratulate them for doing so much damage to a superpower... Then ill torture them to death.. slowly.. amazingly slowly

If I somehow managed to sneak a gun on the plane, it would go something like this...

The .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

If I somehow managed to sneak a gun on the plane, it would go something like this...

The .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
*chuckles*

That would be quite cool to see but somehow, i don't think using that kind of gun on an airplane would be a good idea.

If I somehow managed to sneak a gun on the plane, it would go something like this...

The .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

It wouldn't work. They wanted to die anyway, remember?

It wouldn't work. They wanted to die anyway, remember?

Well, a .44 is a pretty shitty way to die.

Well, a .44 is a pretty shitty way to die.

A bullet to the brain is more merciful than death by a thousand cuts. Just a point...

I'd say
"Dude, nice fireworks"
or
"JEWS >>> J00000"
or
"Hey look isn't that Allah?" and when they turn around, sock them.

I'd say
"Dude, nice fireworks"
or
"JEWS >>> J00000"
or
"Hey look isn't that Allah?" and when they turn around, sock them.

You're sick. In a good way.

It wouldn't work. They wanted to die anyway, remember?

Thats why you grab their penis and stick it in a grinder, after that you RIP their feet and arms off... hmmm also you can grab a mace and rip their skin off... And after that throw their lifeless bodies into a pit of highly poisonous snakes.. :)

I would cuff them up and take them back to Egypt with me where they will be tortured and interrogated. then we shot them.

Thats why you grab their penis and stick it in a grinder, after that you RIP their feet and arms off... hmmm also you can grab a mace and rip their skin off... And after that throw their lifeless bodies into a pit of highly poisonous snakes.. :)

Yes. Many aeroplnes these days come fully equiped with penis grinders, maces and a pit of poisonous snakes. :rolleyes:

"Wow, you guys are idiots. Attacking in the morning? You could multiply deaths tenfold if you waited till mid-day."

Honestly, me saying one thing wouldnt stop them. I might as well insult their tactics, to make them feel stupid before they hit the towers.

Yes. Many aeroplnes these days come fully equiped with penis grinders, maces and a pit of poisonous snakes. :rolleyes:

Mines would... :)

Mines would... :)

Then I'm flying with Rakenshi Airways from now on. :)

If you remove the penis grinder. Makes me want to vomit just thinking about it...

*Vomits*

"How does it feel to further the cause of neocons more than any American could have?"

Then I'm flying with Rakenshi Airways from now on. :)

If you remove the penis grinder. Makes me want to vomit just thinking about it...

*Vomits*

It actually happened to some guy... He was working and was caught on some type of grinder. Christ even I felt his pain

After being subdued by likeminded passengers, as the terrorists choked their last breaths through all the cocktail peanuts rammed up their noses and
empty airplane size liqour bottles (we worked up a thirst beating them down)
shoved down their gullets, I would say"Allah or the devil,your meeting one today,I really don't care which, and your meeting them on our terms not yours. You may die now."

"Um, guys? About those seventy-two virgins... ah... heh heh... um... Allah says there's been a bit of a hold-up. Some kid went off ahead of schedule and now the system's all gone to hell. Do you think you could put off your shindig till sometime next week? Or month? Month would be better."

It actually happened to some guy... He was working and was caught on some type of grinder. Christ even I felt his pain

I heard a similar story (might even be the same one):
"At a factory, every lunchtime the whole staff would leave except this one gentleman. And every lunchtime, he would use the conveyor belt to masturbate. One day he leaned too far foward and split his penis open. He then stapled it back together again and proceded to carry on working.
The same day he was on a hospital bed asking for a man doctor who dealt with man issues and a penis that was leaking poison." :eek:

Another story:
There was a man who worked at Burger King. One day he came home and told his wife that he wanted to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. The wife was horrified and sent him for councelling.
A couple of days later he went back to work, after the councellor said he was cured. He came back home to tell his wife he had been fired. When she asked why, he said he had stuck his penis in the pickle slicer. So she asked him to drop his trousers so she could examine his mangled penis. To her surprise, it was fine.
"But what happened to the pickle slicer?" she enquired.
"Oh, she was fired too." :D

I heard a similar story (might even be the same one):
"At a factory, every lunchtime the whole staff would leave except this one gentleman. And every lunchtime, he would use the conveyor belt to masturbate. One day he leaned too far foward and split his penis open. He then stapled it back together again and proceded to carry on working.
The same day he was on a hospital bed asking for a man doctor who dealt with man issues and a penis that was leaking poison." :eek:

Another story:
There was a man who worked at Burger King. One day he came home and told his wife that he wanted to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. The wife was horrified and sent him for councelling.
A couple of days later he went back to work, after the councellor said he was cured. He came back home to tell his wife he had been fired. When she asked why, he said he had stuck his penis in the pickle slicer. So she asked him to drop his trousers so she could examine his mangled penis. To her surprise, it was fine.
"But what happened to the pickle slicer?" she enquired.
"Oh, she was fired too." :D

he stapled his penis? The hell type of freak is that... man people are just getting weirder by the day

he stapled his penis? The hell type of freak is that... man people are just getting weirder by the day

Then again if he left early to go to hospital there and then they'd find out what he was doing and fire him, thus separating him from his "girlfriend".

I'd say,

"How can you justify killing thousands of innocent people of all religions and all races?"

"How can you still believe you are headed to paradise if you do this?"

(The Devil's Advocate right now)

Terrorist: Err... the same way that an American Christian can say "God bless America" and then hit a trigger that launches a smart bomb into a shelter full of kids.

Too much hatred out there. They perceive America as a supporter of Israel and a corruptor and perverter of the world (with all the porn and issues of homosexuality etc. plus Hollywood's hedonism, that we churn out and display like dirty laundry to the world) and this, they feel gives them the moral high ground. They see their loved ones and fellow muslims living in squalor and starvation while America wastes ridiculous amounts of food on children's TV game shows. That's enough to make a man murderously angry.

You see thats the thing.. Anybody that kills an innocent human being is a crazy bastard by me book.. thus they deserve to be tortured to death

You see thats the thing.. Anybody that kills an innocent human being is a crazy bastard by me book.. thus they deserve to be tortured to death
and you dont see the contradiction....?

Dressed as a courier, I'd tell them "God has a special telegram just for you!" Then take a picture of Osama Bin Laden, wipe my ass with it and shove it in their face.

"YOU MADE THE SCHOOL CANCEL MY TRIP TO GREECE! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU!"

I don't want to type the other rant cuz I don't want to swear...

You ****ed up the course of history of the 21st century damn you!

"If You Could Say One Thing To The 9/11 Highjackers... "

I would ask, "Any last requests?" :D

"The 72 Virgins are all male."

"I hope you liked the pork I force-fed you!" before I shoot them.

I would say what the **** is your **** problem you ***holes. What are you ******s thinks!!!

and you dont see the contradiction....?
No, Inisent

With what gun, dummy? The rifle you had in your carry-on, or the handgun in holster you took through security?


See, the problem with 9/11 is that no one did anything. Everyone was too scared that they might die to consider that there was something bigger.

Just like the little shits who shot up Columbine and the American who gunned down his fellows in the name of Hitler. If the students would have all just rushed their punk asses, less people would have died. But no one is a hero today. We just cling to our own little lives, hoping that we survive.


I was in the Army on September 11th. I spent an entire week with no sleep (literally) thanks to their murders. I didn't get to see my family for over a year. But that's hardly anything compared to the families who lost members forever.

I have nothing to say to the murderers from 9-11. If I was there I would try to kill them with my bare hands, at the cost of my life if need be. I would try to raise the plane of apathetic people to do something heroic. But I wasn't there.

"YOU MADE THE SCHOOL CANCEL MY TRIP TO GREECE! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU!"

I don't want to type the other rant cuz I don't want to swear...

Ouch! The global repercussions of that act... I think we all got a little more frightened, a little more paranoid, a little less humane...

"The 72 Virgins are all male."

LOL!!

First, ya gotta stare 'em down for a whole week to show'em who's the real man. Then, you gotta bring their grandma's in so they become ashamed of themselves. Finally, you tell'em that at least there's punks in the world that have the balls to fight American soldiers like those jerkwads in Somalia and that they're cowards for doing something worse than Timothy McVeigh (even in the end, he figured he could do something nice and make an organ donation to his sister before he was executed).

No words.... Just this. :sniper:

I'd do one simple thing. I'd grab some guy I don't like, tie metal luggage to him, and toss him out one of the doors in such a way that he'd go through one of the engines. Make them think I'm crazier than they are.

I have nothing to say to the murderers from 9-11. If I was there I would try to kill them with my bare hands, at the cost of my life if need be. I would try to raise the plane of apathetic people to do something heroic. But I wasn't there.

Very well said.

The one thing I would ask them is:
"Why?"

If You Could Say One Thing To The 9/11 Highjackers...

Well, that depends. Am I talking to them now? If so I would say, "You're dead and I'm not, so it sucks to be you."

If I could go back in time I would say, "Sorry but you can't get on the plane today, or tomorrow, or ever." But you know how they say hindsight is 50/50... so who knows?

-Tom Steele
"He who must not be banned."

Like many here, I would say nothing. Great opportunity to test my self-defence skills.

"What would your wife say about this?"

orrrr


"I did your mom"

See, the problem with 9/11 is that no one did anything. Everyone was too scared that they might die to consider that there was something bigger.

Just like the little shits who shot up Columbine and the American who gunned down his fellows in the name of Hitler. If the students would have all just rushed their punk asses, less people would have died. But no one is a hero today. We just cling to our own little lives, hoping that we survive.

I would try to raise the plane of apathetic people to do something heroic. But I wasn't there.

That is a TERRIBLY presumptious and INACCURATE portrayal of 9/11.

Flight 93 appears to HAVE DONE EXACTLY what you suggest. The difference in their plane and the others? They had more time to figure out what was going on. It is awfully easy to sit back and say, "I would have been a hero." But the truth of the matter is that people were confused and didn't have enough time to put it all together on the other three flights. I believe that those flights would have done the same thing as Flight 93 had they known what was happening in time.

It is preposterous and unconscionable to make the statements you have made. (Although I support your right to make them...)

-Tom Steele
"He who must not be banned."

"watch out for that towe..."

I would ask: D'you really think your God envisoned you killing people in His name?
Come on, you know fundamentalists. They think that's all their God wants them to do.

You don't talk to people like that, you track them down, their supporters as well, and exterminate the lot. Would you talk to cockroaches? Of course not. Vermin are for killing, not exchanging ideas with.

Hawkintom']That is a TERRIBLY presumptious and INACCURATE portrayal of 9/11.

Flight 93 appears to HAVE DONE EXACTLY what you suggest. The difference in their plane and the others? They had more time to figure out what was going on. It is awfully easy to sit back and say, "I would have been a hero." But the truth of the matter is that people were confused and didn't have enough time to put it all together on the other three flights. I believe that those flights would have done the same thing as Flight 93 had they known what was happening in time.

It is preposterous and unconscionable to make the statements you have made. (Although I support your right to make them...)

-Tom Steele
"He who must not be banned."


You're right- the people on the planes that hit the World Trade Center and the Pentagon werent aware of the larger picture. They thought it was a "regular" hijacking-if there is such a thing. They didnt expect they would be victims in a suicide mission. I remember reading somewhere where they were led to believe there was a bomb on the plane-they were lulled into a feeling that if they remained cooperative, they would get out of the situation alive.
Its likely if they knew the true intent, many would have resisted and fought back against terrorists armed only with box-cutters.
The people on the plane that crashed in Pa learned a little too late what the big picture was. They were successful in preventing what would have been a much higher loss of life, but sadly, died despite their efforts.
I dont think people would react the same way if there is, God forbid-a next time. I think some people will act immediately and decisively.

That being said-what would I say to a terrorist?

Nothing at all-I dont talk to shit. Regardless of what they believed in they were nothing more than shit. They are not in paradise now. They are still in shit.

The one thing I would ask them is:
"Why?"
good question...

I would stick bacon in their bastard mouths and shoot them in the head, insuring that they would die "unclean" and go straight to hell. Best punishment for some one that religious is to play right into their religion.

personally I pity them, just as I pity anyone with such hatred in their hearts... that includes some of you.

as long as such hatred continues on either side of the conflict then the conflict will continue and such atrocities as the suicidal plane missions, and the invasion will continue.

think about the consequences of your actions before your try spreading a message of hatred

I wouldn't say anthing. I'd slit their throats and throw them off the plane.

I would just throw them off the plane

The one thing I would ask them is:
"Why?"

Me too.

That one word came straight into my head as soon as I read the question.

It would have to be"Hey idiot, if your gonna bomb a building, make sure you live to bomb again."
Suicide bombing is so stupid. To mis-quote someone who is not as famous
"Dont die for your beliefs, make other people die for your beliefs."

Hey Ahmed! I bet you 20 dinars you can't fly between those buildings!

personally I pity them, just as I pity anyone with such hatred in their hearts... that includes some of you.

as long as such hatred continues on either side of the conflict then the conflict will continue and such atrocities as the suicidal plane missions, and the invasion will continue.

think about the consequences of your actions before your try spreading a message of hatred

Well said.

The one thing I would ask them is:
"Why?"

The answer they would give to THAT question is obvious: "to punish the USA for its crimes".

What I would ask:
"Why did you not hit it outside business hours ?"

Hey Ahmed! I bet you 20 dinars you can't fly between those buildings!
I'll throw in a camel for that one

I would ask them:

Why didn't you choose a target that would really really damage the USA?
Guys, you've got this one chance, why go for a f***ing symbol?

I would ask them:

Why didn't you choose a target that would really really damage the USA?
Guys, you've got this one chance, why go for a f***ing symbol?

Going for a symbol was actually very smart. Doing it at an hour there were lots of innocent people in there was not. If the twin towers had been practically emtpy when they were destroyed the terrorists would have gained quite a lot of instant sympathy and admiration from the rest from the world.

I'd say.... (In Arabic):


"Nice one! wayta go! you guys RULE!"

Going for a symbol was actually very smart. Doing it at an hour there were lots of innocent people in there was not. If the twin towers had been practically emtpy when they were destroyed the terrorists would have gained quite a lot of instant sympathy and admiration from the rest from the world.

I don't know... why go for sympathy?
I've been trying to get into the mind behind the attacks a number of times. If I had had those planes at my hand and really hated the States and regarded them as enemy, I would srew sympathy, I would hit them where it hurts. And it would be so easy, too. Why select a symbolic building in Manhattan if you can go for any nuclear power plant in the country? Or for the Hoover Damm? Or for... oh, the possibilities are endless....
The way it was done did nothing for Osamas cause, it just provided a good excuse for a war for George W.

I don't know... why go for sympathy?

Because in a direct all out war with the US they would lose (and Al Queada has lost). However, if you destroy one of their symbols of power - like the two towers - you embarass them for the entire world. If you do so with a minimum of casualties many will subconciously view you as the "good" guy - or at least as the brave little guy that dares to stand up against the Goliath USA. Furthermore, many muslems disagree with the deaths caused by Al Queda. I daresay much less would have disagreed with just the destruction of some of the USAs symbols - meaning their number of supporters would have been much higher.

However, now they killed people. Giving Bush an excuse for war. Stupid.

:( I'd applaud them for having the guts to die for what they believed in.

Then i'd have to try and stop them, probably also dying for what i believe in.

That way i guess we'd both be winners, in some sick twisted way. :(

What would you say...?

I would tell them that they' have something on their shirt, and put my finger on their chests. When they looked down, I'd flick them on the nose. Ha Ha!

I'd show them what their crusade has done for their cause. It's changed the course of world history dramatically, and certainly not to their advantage.

It would have to be"Hey idiot, if your gonna bomb a building, make sure you live to bomb again."
Suicide bombing is so stupid. To mis-quote someone who is not as famous
"Dont die for your beliefs, make other people die for your beliefs."

Gen. Patton? I'd say he's reasonably famous ;) Nah, the great thing about suicide bombing is that it's doing something (seen by some as) good for your cause and you have no chance to sin again after it, which would, of course, endanger your immortal soul. It's the sheer finality of it which makes it so easy for fanatics. One moment you're letting go of a deadman's switch, the next it's oiled virgins, Heaven, the next life, whatever (though I can't say I've ever heard of Hindu suicide bombers).

And what's better, you don't live to see the consequences of your actions. No remorse, no regret - assuming, that is, that Allah, God, Whoever really thinks you did the right thing. Which you're convinced He will.

I deal in lead, friend.

I don't know... why go for sympathy?
I've been trying to get into the mind behind the attacks a number of times. If I had had those planes at my hand and really hated the States and regarded them as enemy, I would srew sympathy, I would hit them where it hurts. And it would be so easy, too. Why select a symbolic building in Manhattan if you can go for any nuclear power plant in the country? Or for the Hoover Damm? Or for... oh, the possibilities are endless....
The way it was done did nothing for Osamas cause, it just provided a good excuse for a war for George W.
There's a reason they're called TERRORists and not SYMPATHYists.

My quote will be entirely in onomonpoeia.

*BANG*X20.

There's a reason they're called TERRORists and not SYMPATHYists.

Being bad doesn't necessarily mean being stupid. That would make things sooo much easier...

I'd say,

"How could you of missed the White House, damn!"


:D

I would ask them how they like burning in hell...

I would ask them how they like burning in hell...

There is no hell. nor is there a heaven. They are just dead.

I'd say "Say CHEESE!" as I pressed the muzzle of a Desert Eagle against their foreheads and pulled the trigger.

what caliber of Desert Eagle?

and

maybe the most compelling argument to get them to refrain from the action would be to say this:

"Kurds and Shi'a will soon rule Iraq if you zealots go through with this..."

something like "Thousands of your wacko brothers will die at our hands if you go through with this and those that live will perpetually be hunted"... since death/dying does not seem to deter them.

It's like mass-psychosis or mass-anti-social-personality-disorder.

I'd say "Say CHEESE!" as I pressed the muzzle of a Desert Eagle against their foreheads and pulled the trigger.

what caliber of Desert Eagle?

and

maybe the most compelling argument to get them to refrain from the action would be to say this:

"Kurds and Shi'a will soon rule Iraq if you zealots go through with this..."

something like "Thousands of your wacko brothers will die at our hands if you go through with this and those that live will perpetually be hunted" probably wouldn't work... since death/dying does not seem to deter them.

It's like mass-psychosis or mass-anti-social-personality-disorder.

Well done. LoL.

There is no hell. nor is there a heaven. They are just dead.

interesting opinion... you'd better hope you're right.

They probably are burning in hell, and it serves them right. I would also imagine that siding with such murderers does not sit too well with The Man Upstairs.

i would say "aren't you killing a few too many americans, i mean i know they're assholes and all but you don't need to kill this many!"

"If you're not going to finish that sandwich, can I have it?"

"I will never let you do this! The president is going to use this as an excuse to go to war, take away freedoms, and stay in office despite being a horrible president! EAT MY FIST!"

I'd attempt to curry favour: "None of my pig-dog infidel brethren have beards as nice as yours." Then ask to handle their weapons.

I would say "Uh, are you aware that you are about to attack the US? You know, the place world famous for its love of guns, bombs, and violent movies? Oh yeah, Trigun is a good show".

I'd say, "Praise Allah," and give them a hug. While I did this, I'd tie a rope around their neck and then tie them to a nearby radiator. I would then use them as target practice for glasses filled with boiling tar. Then I'd nail them to the wall by their shoulders and cut off their dicks in slivers. Then I'd feed it to them, forcing them to down it with a bottle of my own piss. Then I'd punch them in the throat and laugh as they coughed it back up into their mouth. Then I'd cut off their nose in slivers. Then I'd shove table legs up their ass. Then I'd break every major bone in their body. Then I'd starve them for two days. While they were starving, I'd go out and make some money by helping an American or two - that'd piss them off. Then I'd read them various books on the joys of capitalism and democracy. Then I would cut out chunks of their flesh and fill them with salt. Finally, I'd boil them in a bath of liquid horse shit and semen moderately diluted with pure hydrochloric acid. As they died, I'd repeat the Pledge of Allegiance and sing America the Beautiful until they were all dead. And yes, I've thought about this.

Hawkintom'] It is awfully easy to sit back and say, "I would have been a hero." I must agree with that..

True, but this is hypothetical, so the truth doesn't count. I stick to my methods of execution.

Alright what I would say:

"You are the reason for our suffering. This is not the way of Allah. You will set in motion events that will ruin your people's world."

While going on with this, I would try to rush them, screaming "BANZAI!". At that time, I would probably be cut down by their guns. Oh well, made a chance, hopefully inspired a mass rush at them.

I'd say, "Praise Allah," and give them a hug. While I did this, I'd tie a rope around their neck and then tie them to a nearby radiator. I would then use them as target practice for glasses filled with boiling tar. Then I'd nail them to the wall by their shoulders and cut off their dicks in slivers. Then I'd feed it to them, forcing them to down it with a bottle of my own piss. Then I'd punch them in the throat and laugh as they coughed it back up into their mouth. Then I'd cut off their nose in slivers. Then I'd shove table legs up their ass. Then I'd break every major bone in their body. Then I'd starve them for two days. While they were starving, I'd go out and make some money by helping an American or two - that'd piss them off. Then I'd read them various books on the joys of capitalism and democracy. Then I would cut out chunks of their flesh and fill them with salt. Finally, I'd boil them in a bath of liquid horse shit and semen moderately diluted with pure hydrochloric acid. As they died, I'd repeat the Pledge of Allegiance and sing America the Beautiful until they were all dead. And yes, I've thought about this.

Whoaa!

It would involve lots of bacon and pork, and the rest I am not allowed to say.

Ben