NationStates Jolt Archive

Of course it is when you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with (or at least some years ;) ), but when do you think you personally will have enough experience to know whether someone is the right one or not?
Or when did (or didnt) you (but married someone nevertheless)?
Or when will you be ready to forsake promiscuity? ;)

Or explain why you dont vote.

You don't want a good age to marry, you want a good person. ;)

Of course it is when you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with (or at least some years ;) ), but when do you think you personally will have enough experience to know whether someone is the right one or not?
Or when did (or didnt) you (but married someone nevertheless)?
Or when will you be ready to forsake promiscuity? ;)
I got married about a year after I got back from Vietnam. I was 28 and she was 27.

Right now, I'm 13 and have WAAAAY to much to do in my life to think about what age I'm gonna get married at! I'll marry when I'm ready to settle down, and not a second before. A guy would just get in the way of me living my life the way I want to live it.

25 and above.

But truly, it depends on a person's maturity, and are they really willing to settle down at such a young age.

You don't want a good age to marry, you want a good person. ;)

Yeah, but I had a girlfriend (when I was 17 to 19, now I am still 19) and after about 1 year of being together we both felt like we want to stay together forever. But of course we did not marry, because we were too young. We still think a little bit like that, but finally both found out that there was no passion in our relationship anymore, we were more like very good friends having sex and doing everything together.

Marriage is a joke today, divorce is way to high, I will never get married, maybe common law with someone but never married. Oh, and if you do get married, make sure to right a pre-nup so if you get divorced they don't take everything.

Marriage doesn't mean what it used to. People are way too casual about it, and so divorce rates are high.
Yes, if two people are in love they should be able to be married, but when it's people who are going to get divorced the next day? Nay.

Marriage doesn't mean what it used to. People are way too casual about it, and so divorce rates are high.
Yes, if two people are in love they should be able to be married, but when it's people who are going to get divorced the next day? Nay.
That's one of the reasons I don't think people should marry before they're about 24. Young love does not last in most of the cases. Relationship and living together is something you need to practise.

I wouldn't get married at all if I could afford not to.

im getting married nxt july!!!! i'll be 23 and 4 days!!!

i don't know, i guess like 25 or something around that age but only if i've met the right person obviuosly

When you're ready ... which is a rather vague answer. :)

What age do I want to get married? I don't know, I'm not a bloody soothsayer!
I'm 16 and have never had a girlfriend. If not so much as kissed a girl! How, pray tell, am I supposed to infer the age of when I get married?

im getting married nxt july!!!! i'll be 23 and 4 days!!!Happy birthday (a bit early)!


I don't have the intention of getting married at the moment.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

I had to vote "30-35" simply because I'm already 28 and the way it looks like right now, no woman I'd be interested in marrying has crossed my way recently.

I've always thought that people who marry too young (before age of 25) are usually the ones who get a divorce soon after.

I suppose 17 - 22 because when your moving out and getting started etc it gives you alot of money and a lot of gifts which you may actullu need.

Of course it is when you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with (or at least some years ;) ), but when do you think you personally will have enough experience to know whether someone is the right one or not?

I believe it would be wrong for me to marry any person I had known less than 6-7 years. I believe I should have dated that person for at least 5 years, and have lived with them for at least 1 year before an engagement enters the picture. Since I didn't have any interest in finding a mate (of any kind) until I was about 14, the earliest I could possibly have gotten married would be 20-21, and that would be if I had met the absolute perfect person right out of the gate. Needless to say, I didn't.

My current squeeze and I appear to be a marriage possibility, maybe, sometime in the future. We've only been together for about 4 years, though, so we are just barely able to tell whether we are in love or just infatuated and horny :P.

Or when will you be ready to forsake promiscuity? ;)
Depends on your standard of promiscuity! We have had an open relationship at various points along the way, and may end up having an open marriage if it suits us. Some would call that promiscuous, though we don't really see it as such.

I was ready to forsake promiscuity at 18. I'm not married, but would get married if presented with the opportunity.

Happy birthday (a bit early)!

Ty very much!!!

im getting married nxt july!!!! i'll be 23 and 4 days!!!

Good for you! I got married at 23 (am now almost 24). People are often shocked, especially because we are both well-educated, it college/ grad students tend to get married later. When you have the right person and the right conditions and enough experience to know what you want out of life, go for it! We are having a great time.

Three things we experienced that I recommend (but to each his/her own): having dated more than one person before getting married, each of us living independently before getting married (at college and the year after), and having the chance to grow and mature in our own direction (after which we discovered that we were growing in the same direction and had similar priorities).

Why are people against wedding? I'm not against, I'm not for either...
And I'm not married, I'm just 14.

i don't know, i guess like 25 or something around that age but only if i've met the right person obviuosly

About the same for me. Which gives me five years in which to meet and marry if I stick to it.

It depends on wether your ready and if you've found the right person!

What age do I want to get married? I don't know, I'm not a bloody soothsayer!
I'm 16 and have never had a girlfriend. If not so much as kissed a girl! How, pray tell, am I supposed to infer the age of when I get married? Exactly the same here. Although I'll either get married under 30, or never and live alone all my life. I have no idea which it will be.

As long as you're nubile, age has nothing to do with it in my opinion.

If I met the right person tomorrow I would marry her right away, no matter her age or mine. It used to be that girls could marry from 15 but that is being pushed back to 18 on account of gender equality, which I think is silly--it's a fact that girls mature faster than boys. If I met a 15-yr old who was perfect we'd elope to a country where they still have the original Napoleonic Code and get married there. And if she was a MILF, I'd marry her too--well, not aged too much since I want kids, but, as I said, age is irrelevant.

Maturity is relevant, but that has only little to do with age.

I say 23-25 - for me. I'm 17 and have been going out with my boyfriend for... hey, 1 year and 9 months today.

I've always wanted to get married young (I want to have my first child before I'm 30). Of course I wouldn't get married just for the sake of getting married, but if I'm still with my boyfriend when I'm that old, which is optimistically forseeable, then why not - if we're still together after 7 years and he doesn't want to marry me and I don't want to marry him, I'd wonder what we were doing with each other.

My best friend got married last week and I thought she was too young - 22. However, we used to both want to get married youngish (we promised to marry each other if we hadn't found anyone by the time we were 25.) I want to have a kid by the time I'm 30... I also like the idea of a 5 year rule. Which means I need to find the one in the next 2 years!

Marriage is a joke today, divorce is way to high, I will never get married, maybe common law with someone but never married. Oh, and if you do get married, make sure to right a pre-nup so if you get divorced they don't take everything.
yeah you wouldnt want that bitch to get your ipod, 10-speed bike and '95 ford taurus that you brought into the marriage!

As long as you're nubile, age has nothing to do with it in my opinion.

If I met the right person tomorrow I would marry her right away, no matter her age or mine. It used to be that girls could marry from 15 but that is being pushed back to 18 on account of gender equality, which I think is silly--it's a fact that girls mature faster than boys. If I met a 15-yr old who was perfect we'd elope to a country where they still have the original Napoleonic Code and get married there. And if she was a MILF, I'd marry her too--well, not aged too much since I want kids, but, as I said, age is irrelevant.

Maturity is relevant, but that has only little to do with age.
yeah that 15 year old bride is great. in her mind she is choosing between you and ASHTON KUTCHER. you should feel honored if she chooses you.

I don't think i'll ever get married. I don't think I need the permission of the church and state to love someone.

Of course it is when you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with (or at least some years ;) ), but when do you think you personally will have enough experience to know whether someone is the right one or not?
Or when did (or didnt) you (but married someone nevertheless)?
Or when will you be ready to forsake promiscuity? ;)

I married at 25, it seemed right for me. I'd already known my spouse for about 10 years before we tied the knot.

I plan on getting married between 23 - 25, as long as everything goes smoothly relationship-wise. I've had friends get married as early as 18, so, I can't say what's right for everybody, just for me. :)

I don't think i'll ever get married. I don't think I need the permission of the church and state to love someone.

It's not necessarily about getting anyone's 'permission'.
For me, I just wanted a public declaration an celebration of our love.
Of course the frock and the party and the presents are good too.

I'm 33. Almost got married when I was 24 -- wrong time, wrong girl.

If I find the right one, then I'll marry her...whatever my age.

It's not necessarily about getting anyone's 'permission'.
For me, I just wanted a public declaration an celebration of our love.
Of course the frock and the party and the presents are good too.

Heh. That's very nice and all, but really, what it comes down to at the end of the day is that certificate. I don't think it's necessary. I wouldn't be against the idea if my hypothetical partner wanted to, though.

I'm no law hating hippy or anything, but i don't see why i need a bit of paper or some priest's blessing to say that i love someone, i think that'd be made pretty clear by our actions. If marriage is your way of proving it, fine go for it, i dare say it's gonna happen to me at some point, but lets just say it's not the highest priority.

Yeah, but I had a girlfriend (when I was 17 to 19, now I am still 19) and after about 1 year of being together we both felt like we want to stay together forever. But of course we did not marry, because we were too young. We still think a little bit like that, but finally both found out that there was no passion in our relationship anymore, we were more like very good friends having sex and doing everything together.



That sounds like love to me. Passion ebbs and flows, but someone who will play Scrabble with you when you've got the stomach flu is forever.

but someone who will play Scrabble with you when you've got the stomach flu is forever.

now that is definately true...

25 and above.

But truly, it depends on a person's maturity, and are they really willing to settle down at such a young age.

I agree with that. 25 woud be the youngest age I would consider getting married at. Of course I would have to have been in love with the person for at least four years just to make sure that I was not being naive.

The late, big trend of marrying late annoys me.

People want to "experience life" or whatever before they tie the knot, implying that family is some kind of jail. You're free to think that, but why do you want to get married then? This baffles me.

I'm for marrying young because married people build each other. If you're already built, if you're already a complete person by the time you find another complete person, the marital bonds won't be as deep and as strong. We're all diamonds in the rough, and you remove the rough in diamonds by rubbing them together. A young married couple rub their souls against each other to bring out the diamond. They build a life together, becoming as one. You need to start young to do that.

As long as the two who're getting married, have known each other for a long time, gotten to really know each other first, and are mature enough to make such a decision, I think it's ok at any age (note the part saying 'mature enough').

What I don't 'approve of' (not that I can do anything about it), are marriages that happen in less than a month or two, after the two first have met each other. Few are able to put aside the infatuation that early, and let their reasoning decide.

That sounds like love to me. Passion ebbs and flows, but someone who will play Scrabble with you when you've got the stomach flu is forever.

Maybe it will work out in some years again...
But I'm 19, she is 17, we both still want to gather some experience and enjoy live.
And wouldn't that just be very good friendship?

The late, big trend of marrying late annoys me.

People want to "experience life" or whatever before they tie the knot, implying that family is some kind of jail. You're free to think that, but why do you want to get married then? This baffles me.


Have you ever experienced being freshly in love?
It is very difficult to have this with only one person too often.

Have you ever experienced being freshly in love?
It is very difficult to have this with only one person too often.The first three months of a relationship are all pheromones and hormones. Which is why you need to marry for the right reasons, not just because, like, you love each other. But if you have harmonious personalities and similar goals for your family, arranged marriages at 16 work better than marriages modelled after what you see on TV and movies.

The late, big trend of marrying late annoys me.

People want to "experience life" or whatever before they tie the knot, implying that family is some kind of jail. You're free to think that, but why do you want to get married then? This baffles me.

My partner and I held off on beginning our dating relationship for over a year because we wanted to "experience life," so maybe I can answer this for you...

Most people feel that marriage carries with it an obligation of monogamy. They believe that when you wed, you swear to no have romantic contact with other people, and you also swear to make your partner (and any future children) the center of your life.

Those are big promises. Most young people don't know themselves well enough to know if they can keep such huge promises. Think about it: if you get married at 20, you have lived less than 1/13th of your adult life, yet you are promising to spend all the rest of your life bonded and committed to another person. I didn't even know what my life WAS at age 20, so how could I honestly promise to give that life to another person?

Also, I believe (and many agree) that it's important to meet and "try on" several people before you settle on the one you think is right for you. Marrying the first person you meet would be like seeing only one movie and deciding it's the best movie ever and you won't watch another for the rest of your life. My partner and I knew we were both at a time in our lives when our opportunity to "play the field" was maximized, and we each wanted each other to experience that. I wanted to know that my partner had tried being with other women and had consciously made the informed decision that I was the best woman for him; I didn't want him to simply commit to me before he could see what else was out there.

I don't think that wanting to experience life before marriage implies that marriage is "jail." It's simply a recognition of the fact that you give up certain freedoms to gain the benefits of a marriage. That's the honest truth, after all...if you want to get something of value the you have to give up something of value, and marriage is very valuable indeed. That doesn't mean you're getting a bad trade, but it does meant that you should make yourself completely aware of what you are giving up, so that you know you are making the deal that is right for you.

Also, keep in mind that most people simply don't meet the perfect mate their first time out. I didn't even meet my partner until we were almost 20, and we felt it would be a bit odd to run out and get married the day we met :). Most people want to get to know their partner before they promise to spend the rest of their lives together, after all, and most people don't meet a marriage-worthy person in Junior High.


I'm for marrying young because married people build each other. If you're already built, if you're already a complete person by the time you find another complete person, the marital bonds won't be as deep and as strong.

Needless to say, I find that idea absolutely hideous. In fact, I think that is possibly the least healthy way to form a marriage. A marriage should be the union of two people, not the fusion of two incomplete young beings who don't know who they are or what they want from life. Marriage is a partnership of individuals, and only by maintaining your individuality and your character can you do honor and justice to your relationship. My partner would never settle for the type of weak and codependent union you describe, and neither would I...we want to make a marriage with an individual, with a person, not with an amorphous "young human female" or "young human male" who simply wants to become "young marital unit."


We're all diamonds in the rough, and you remove the rough in diamonds by rubbing them together. A young married couple rub their souls against each other to bring out the diamond. They build a life together, becoming as one. You need to start young to do that.
By your logic, rubbing against many people would be a far better plan...then, when you enter into marriage, you will have already exposed a glimmer of the gem of yourself, and you will have something meaningful to offer to your partner. Your system of "match 'em up young" means both of you will offer eachother untried chunks of roughage, and neither of you will have made any effort to discover what it really is that you offer one another. You'll never know if your diamond is flawed, because you've never bothered to check. Hell, you'll never know if one of those "diamonds" was really just rough all the way through...you'll have no basis for comparison, after all. You'll never know who you are as an individual, because you've been an "us" since before you had full awareness of yourself.

I care deeply about my partner, and if I commit to marry him I will only do so when I am 100% certain that I am willing, able, and worthy to be his life partner. I must know myself before I can honestly promise these things. I must know who I am without him before I can speculate about the type of person I will be with him. And he must come to know me before he decides if I am right for him, and if he is right for me. We must "rub against each other" BEFORE we commit our lives to each other, to buff off as many rough spots as possible before we try to ascertain what lies under all the roughage.

I hope some of this has been helpful.

I am the wrong person to ask about this - I married Mr Wrong when I was 27, left him when I was 30 and now am with Mr Right - however there is no WAY I will ever marry again

living in sin rocks ;)

Happy birthday (a bit early)!


I don't have the intention of getting married at the moment.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

the supreme ruler of the Universe doesn't even have an empress?

if you get married at 20, you have lived less than 1/13th of your adult life,

Wow, must be an extraordinarily high life expectancy in your area. :p

I never understood why people got married in the first place. If I love a person, and the other person loves me, and we want to live together, what do I need a piece of paper from the state/church for?
Don't get me wrong, people can marry all they want, I don't have a problem with it, I just never understood the motivation.

I came up with a number of theories, I'm not quite sure if they fit.

First, marriage is a socio-cultural thing. In an archaic way, it's a rite in which society or a social group gives two people the right to live as a couple. In our society, the consent of society is no longer needed, if I want to live with anybody I don't have to ask anybody's permission. So, to some extend, marriage seems an outdated social rite, people seem to go through with it for traditional reasons. People get married because "that's what you do if you want to spend your live with somebody"
Second, legal advantages. And tax cuts. Although these are being given to unmarried couples as well no, at least in some countries
Third, the act of getting married itself. Having a big celebration, getting presents, being the center of attention seems to be a big incentive, at least for women.

I don't know if I'm right with those speculations, though...

I never understood why people got married in the first place. If I love a person, and the other person loves me, and we want to live together, what do I need a piece of paper from the state/church for?
Don't get me wrong, people can marry all they want, I don't have a problem with it, I just never understood the motivation.

Same here. I never quite understood why it was considered to be such a "necessary" thing. As far as I'm concerned, it should be done away with.

Yeah, but I had a girlfriend (when I was 17 to 19, now I am still 19) and after about 1 year of being together we both felt like we want to stay together forever. But of course we did not marry, because we were too young. We still think a little bit like that, but finally both found out that there was no passion in our relationship anymore, we were more like very good friends having sex and doing everything together.

Isn't this the kind of attitude which is causing the high divorce rate we see today - the constant need of the 'buzz' of being in love? I don't beleive anyone can maintain that for a lifetime, and people have to accept that relationships have their ups and downs!

Isn't this the kind of attitude which is causing the high divorce rate we see today - the constant need of the 'buzz' of being in love? I don't beleive anyone can maintain that for a lifetime, and people have to accept that relationships have their ups and downs!

Actually, if you take a really close look, you'll find that the number one reason for divorce is marriage ;)

Who are the 6 people that picked 19 or below? Don't get married that young, you'll wreck your life. I believe people shouldn't get married till at least 30, give or take a few years, because the reality is you don't even know who you are going to be until around that age, let alone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. That's my $0.02.

If I ever get married at all, I feel that the optimum age range to do it in would be about 27-32.

Never mind about the age of marriage. What about the age when you can start eating porridge? I think it should be when the sperm meets the egg.

Isn't this the kind of attitude which is causing the high divorce rate we see today - the constant need of the 'buzz' of being in love? I don't beleive anyone can maintain that for a lifetime, and people have to accept that relationships have their ups and downs!

Of course one has to accept that, if one wants to live together till death. But I think I do not yet want to. I'm 19, dude. I guess if we had married rigth away and tried to keep to each other all the time, we would have regretted not to have tried other things apart from being married a complete life.
And moreover whats wrong with divorce, if you dont have children?

I was 25, she was almost 21. We will be married 37 years in July. :fluffle:

The late, big trend of marrying late annoys me.

People want to "experience life" or whatever before they tie the knot, implying that family is some kind of jail. You're free to think that, but why do you want to get married then? This baffles me.

I'm for marrying young because married people build each other. If you're already built, if you're already a complete person by the time you find another complete person, the marital bonds won't be as deep and as strong. We're all diamonds in the rough, and you remove the rough in diamonds by rubbing them together. A young married couple rub their souls against each other to bring out the diamond. They build a life together, becoming as one. You need to start young to do that.
how old will you be the day you marry?

how old will you be the day you marry?How should I know! I probably haven't met the person I'll marry.

(snip)

Needless to say, I find that idea absolutely hideous.

(snip)Well, if it's needless to say that my ideas are absolutely hideous...

I'm familiar with your point of view and I disagree. Marriage isn't about being a perfect match, it's about being bound together and building a family, and it's about completing each other. The silly reasons people get involved and the silly reasons people break up with each other! The dating scene is absurd, and the whole moral misconceptions underlying it are ludicrous. Fuck all you can in college, be serially monogamous for a few years until you find someone who likes all the same bands and all the same clothes as you. It's preposterous, or even absolutely hideous.

Needless to say.

Of course it is when you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with (or at least some years ;) ), but when do you think you personally will have enough experience to know whether someone is the right one or not?
Or when did (or didnt) you (but married someone nevertheless)?
Or when will you be ready to forsake promiscuity? ;)

Too true

Well, I'm 21 now and the thought of marriage doesn't totally scare me. The thought of marriage right now, however, does.

Before I'm 30 would be alright.

How should I know! I probably haven't met the person I'll marry.
well then isnt it silly to say you plan to marry young?

the younger you are, the longer you need to know someone before you marry them. youth and lack of experience means you cant know who would make a good husband without spending years getting to know him really well

you may not meet a man worth marrying until you are 30. there is no way to know.

well then isnt it silly to say you plan to marry young? I don't plan to marry young, I plan to marry as soon as I find the right person. Could be tomorrow, could be thirty years from now.

Well, if it's needless to say that my ideas are absolutely hideous...

I'm familiar with your point of view and I disagree. Marriage isn't about being a perfect match, it's about being bound together and building a family, and it's about completing each other. The silly reasons people get involved and the silly reasons people break up with each other! The dating scene is absurd, and the whole moral misconceptions underlying it are ludicrous. Fuck all you can in college, be serially monogamous for a few years until you find someone who likes all the same bands and all the same clothes as you. It's preposterous, or even absolutely hideous.

Needless to say.
there IS no perfect match. some are better than others. you know some girls who are dating bad boys. they think those boys are WONDERFUL. imagine what life would be like married to someone like that. YOU wouldnt marry a gangbanger, drug abuser, highschool drop out, or slacker but THEY would.

why? because they dont have enough life experience to know what a very bad idea it is. in 5 years, if they havent already "ruined" their lives, they will know to pick a more stable man.

in the same way, just not so dramatically, you have no way of knowing if the boy you pick out at 17 is really good enough for you. you have no way of knowing if this bundle of great potential is going to have fizzled out by 21 and end up in some low wage job that will never be enough to support a family on. you have no way of knowing if this nice 17 year old boy will feel the same way about you, life and monogamy when he is 25.

waiting until you are 25 or 30 doesnt mean you have to be promiscuous. you dont have to fuck every man in sight. you dont have to engage in serial "monogamy", living with man after man for a year or so at a time. you dont have to do ANY of that crap. you can be a virgin on your wedding day when you are 35. (not that i recommend it, but thats another topic)

if you want a successful marriage and family you need to be a real grown up.
you need a full education. you need to be able to support yourself and you family. you need to be able to recognize a man worth keeping and to be worthy of a man that good. you need to be ready to settle down. no more going out every night on the weekends. once children come, you have to be ready to have no life but them for quite a few years.

that you even think that anyone who waits until they are older, living with various men over the years, ends up choosing a husband on the basis of bands and clothing styles show how utterly unready you are for the realities of life.

there IS no perfect match. some are better than others. you know some girls who are dating bad boys. they think those boys are WONDERFUL. imagine what life would be like married to someone like that. YOU wouldnt marry a gangbanger, drug abuser, highschool drop out, or slacker but THEY would.

why? because they dont have enough life experience to know what a very bad idea it is. (snip) Obviously there is no perfect match. Which is why, the earlier you marry, the more you can grow together to complete each other harmoniously.

And it's not because they don't have enough life experience, but because we as a society enforce dumb criteria for choosing partners. that you even think that anyone who waits until they are older, living with various men over the years, ends up choosing a husband on the basis of bands and clothing styles show how utterly unready you are for the realities of life.I was exaggerating, obviously. However, I think the divorce statistics plainly show that people don't choose the right partners, and it's not because of their age, it's simply because we are wrong about how marriage works and what it's about. The wedding age has gone up at the same time that divorce rates have rocketed. Hmmmm... Plants have to be planted young to grow long and solid roots.

Just a little bit of sage advice here if you don't mind.

When you decide to get married, be as committed as much to the marriage as you are to the person you are going to marry. Believe that marriage is until "death." That way when problems come up, and they will, you will be more likely to try to work them out than walk out. Sometimes you won't be able to work them out, but at least you will have tried.

Don't enter a marriage thinking you will change someone, you won't. If she is always late for a date, you can bet she will always be late whenever you go out. If he throws his dirty clothes on the floor, he will always throw his dirty clothes on the floor.

Realize, the relationship will change over time and you can grow more in love with each other than when you first married.

Hope you have a long and happy marriage no matter what age you are when you do.

Just a little bit of sage advice here if you don't mind.

When you decide to get married, be as committed as much to the marriage as you are to the person you are going to marry. Believe that marriage is until "death." That way when problems come up, and they will, you will be more likely to try to work them out than walk out. Sometimes you won't be able to work them out, but at least you will have tried.

Don't enter a marriage thinking you will change someone, you won't. If she is always late for a date, you can bet she will always be late whenever you go out. If he throws his dirty clothes on the floor, he will always throw his dirty clothes on the floor.

Realize, the relationship will change over time and you can grow more in love with each other than when you first married.

Hope you have a long and happy marriage no matter what age you are when you do.An excellent post.

I couldn't have put it better myself. Congratulations.

I had to say 19 and below because I agree with Australia, or 18+

Just interested, can anyone tell me why in America the legal ages are 18 for sex and 21 for alcohol? If I have this wrong, please tell me but that's the way it appears

I don't have a problem with either age being the limit, but logically they would be the same, or reversed as having sex is more dangerous / has greater ramifications than having a beer.

There is something seriously wrong with the idea that a girl that just turned 18 can be paid to star in pornography, can fall pregnant, get std's or need an abortion, but can not buy beer.

If you're not married by 19, you shouldn't get married at all

Who are the 6 people that picked 19 or below? Don't get married that young, you'll wreck your life. I believe people shouldn't get married till at least 30, give or take a few years, because the reality is you don't even know who you are going to be until around that age, let alone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. That's my $0.02.

I married my husband when I was 18. I don't believe I wrecked my life. Here's what's probably going to make people go *gasp!* My husband is 16 years older than me. (For those not so good at math, that means he was 34 when we got married). We met when I was 17 but didn't date. A year later, 2 1/2 months after I graduated High School, we were married. I think we lived together for about 2 months before we got married. That was in 1997. Now almost 8 years later, we're still married and have a 5 yr old son and 3 yr old daughter.

For all those that keep saying live together for X amount of years before getting married, the last time I checked, the statistics for divorce were higher for couples that had cohabitated for longer periods of time before getting married.

Do couples who cohabit before marriage divorce less than others?

No, they divorce more (Wu and Balakrishnan, 1995). This question is generally based on the notion that cohabitation with one's future spouse may serve as a "trial marriage." The reasoning is that, by cohabiting, couples will learn more about each other than can be the case just by dating. This is true. The second part of the reasoning is that, if they don't like what they get, they will separate and not go on to marry, therefore saving themselves the trouble of divorcing later. But this does not necessarily happen even though rates of cohabitation dissolution are very high.

Le Bourdais et al. (2000) found, in the General Social Survey, that, in the 20- to 30-year-old group, 63% of those women whose first relationship was a cohabitation had separated by 1995 compared to 33% of those who had married first. Of course, the first figure included women who had cohabited and had separated before marrying their partner and others who had gone on to marry and then separate from this partner.

http://www.vifamily.ca/library/cft/divorce.html#Stable

and

Third, McLaughlin, Leonard, and Senchak (1992) have found that newly married couples who had cohabited before marriage had substantially higher rates of premarital violence than those who had not lived together; premarital violence was in turn followed by more marital violence than when none had taken place before. To complete this overview, Magdol et al. (1998) have reported that, in a group of 21-year-olds, cohabitants were significantly more likely than daters to be abusive.

I think people should date, get engaged, whatever...but don't move in together, at least not until shortly before the actual wedding.

When I was 20, I thought I was ready, so I got married. I was an idiot, and I was divorced by 26 (and the combination of church and family pressures kept us together that long--we were doomed from the start). Now I'm 36, have been in a relationship for nearly 5 years, and while we've talked about marriage, we've basically decided that unless there's some greater benefit--if, say, we want to adopt and have to do it--there's no reason for us to marry. We couldn't be more committed by a ring and a piece of paper than we are now.

Of course it is when you found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with (or at least some years ;) ), but when do you think you personally will have enough experience to know whether someone is the right one or not?
It's different for everyone but, I think you should spend at least a year or two together first.

Or when did (or didnt) you (but married someone nevertheless)?
We married 14 years ago this summer and we lived together before that for 5-6 years.

Or when will you be ready to forsake promiscuity? ;)
Forsake promiscuity? Why do that, just swing :D Humans never were very good at monogamy, just an artificial constraint imposed by religious dogma left over from a time when women werre considered property.

Marriage isn't about being a perfect match, it's about being bound together and building a family, and it's about completing each other.How can someone complete you if they're not a perfect match, or at least a near perfect one?

Who are the 6 people that picked 19 or below? Don't get married that young, you'll wreck your life. I believe people shouldn't get married till at least 30, give or take a few years, because the reality is you don't even know who you are going to be until around that age, let alone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. That's my $0.02.
Why wouldn't a person know who they're going to be until 30? Not to mention that I can't imagine it affecting your marriage, unless you're wholly different from the person you were when you got married.

I married my husband when I was 18. I don't believe I wrecked my life...

For all those that keep saying live together for X amount of years before getting married, the last time I checked, the statistics for divorce were higher for couples that had cohabitated for longer periods of time before getting married.

"Le Bourdais et al. (2000) found, in the General Social Survey, that, in the 20- to 30-year-old group, 63% of those women whose first relationship was a cohabitation had separated by 1995 compared to 33% of those who had married first. Of course, the first figure included women who had cohabited and had separated before marrying their partner and others who had gone on to marry and then separate from this partner."
Good for you.

So actually there are no reliable stats. It doesn't even say how many of them were married at all. If they're not married, it's not a divorce.

I'd guess that people who live together first may be less religious and there for their attitude towards marriage and divorcing can be more allowing than those who marry before they have lived together. I notice that your article says the same thing

Second, some researchers find that couples who cohabit are less religious than those who marry without cohabiting first. There are several studies indicating a correlation between religiosity and marital happiness as well as stability (Call and Heaton, 1997). If couples who are both less religious and less committed to each other and to the institution of marriage cohabit and then go on to marry, it is not surprising that they will have a higher divorce rate.

and

Fourth, some cohabitants hope that marriage will smooth things out when their relationship is turbulent. This is always a very optimistic hope--and a self-defeating one as well. Finally, among some couples, cohabitation actually hastens marriage. This may be the result of conscience pangs, religious beliefs, or parental pressure. Had these couples been merely engaged or dating, they might have "split" before their ill-fated marriage.
Some women have this weird urge to get married. The urge may be so strong that they end up marrying the first one who's willing (not completely opposes) not the one who's right for them.

The violence thing was interesting.

Some women have this weird urge to get married. The urge may be so strong that they end up marrying the first one who's willing (not completely opposes) not the one who's right for them.

I've heard a similarly weird statement about men. (Not a proven scientific statistic, mind you, just something some people have said.) It went along the lines of "Men don't marry because they found the right woman for them. She just happens to be the right woman right now." In essense saying that just whoever a man happens to be with when he decides he's ready for marriage is the person he ends up marrying.

Now I don't believe this for a minute, but I find it amusing that someone would think this.

I am a proponent for young marriage.

I got married over a year ago. (Just had our anniversary on the 21st!) :D I was 23. My wife was 20.
I know one year isn't much but we are still together and never had a single fight.

The problem with waiting to get married is that people get set in their ways. Marriage require compromise. It is easier to compromise when you are less stuck in your ways, when you are younger and not yet jaded. (not that older people are all jaded).

It is also safer for women to be mothers in their 20s than later in life.
It may be tough for the couple but they grow together in the experience.

It is also a good idea that the people be the same religion and/or same political beliefs as that will stem a lot of arguments. but that is a different matter.

The divorce rate may be high but that is no reason to be discouraged. If you go into marriage expecting a divorce or even considering it as an out, you are more likely to get one. Also more than Half of all divorcees get divorced after their first marriage, so the numbers are clouded by people getting multiple divorces.

And I agree that cohabitation ruins marriage. because when you cohabitate a lot, or are just in several long term relationships, then you get in the mindset that relationships are temporary and then even marriage becomes another cohabitation just with a contract that can be broken at will.

I never lived with my wife before hand, never slept with her either, that made marriage a different entity all together, something we both had to work on to succeed. Not just "another day another lover."

Marriage is about two people becoming one. Forever. Not two people having a sexual experience until they grow sick of eachother.