NationStates Jolt Archive

Disclaimer: This is not a self-pity thread. I am actually wondering about this. I have gotten plenty of pity in my time, and its always unfulfilling.

Anyways, I'm 16, 17 in a week. Im in high school, I'm fairly popular(I can pretty much talk to anyone, and hang around them, including preps, etc). Im pretty smart, 6', 204 pounds(I know I'm heavy, but Im not that round). Just took this picture today, so you can see what I look like.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/Raslin/DSCF0127.jpg

Anyways, I just don't understand. I spend pretty much every night, including weekends, at home. I've never had a girlfriend, nor even been kissed. The only real thing I can think of is that I'm ugly. People are always telling me how smart and witty I am, and I can always make people laugh. I just don't see why I'm in such a position.

If I told you, you would be pissed off.

If I told you, you would be pissed off.

O.o

If I told you, you would be pissed off.
man boobs?





Just kidding you look normal in fact you are studly. Try spending less time on stupid websites like this one.

You can't expect them to come to you, make it happen for yourself. Take more risks. I had the same problem back in school, played every sport imaginable, was approx. 180 lbs at 6'3, normal in academics, etc. But none of it matters without ambition. I was more concerned with hobbies and hooch, and gave up on having girlfriends or anything like that when I was around 20. I focus on career now, nothing else. I missed my opportunities due to lack of ambition, like several others I knew in school. Meanwhile, reckless slackers get lucky every now and then, so just go for it.

Your problem is you stay home, if no one invites you to their place you have to be pro-active and invite them to your place. Also that shirt you're wearing looks like one of mine, unflattering. The seams on the sides of your shoulders should be on the top otherwise you look all droopy and slouched.

That picture made me think of one thing: "Smile!"

Seriously, you look like someone just died in it. Smile!

For what it's worth, I don't think you're ugly or anything. It seems to be your own choice not to go out and do those things you want to do. Why don't you?

EDIT: And I agree about the shirt. Burn it, and get someone to help you buy a new one that looks good on you.

Look, all I can do is give the same advice that my G'dad - an ex paratroop - gave to me when I was in a similar postion at fifteen. (I was about the same height- but not so flabby, no offence),

He said: "Pull your fucking finger out your ass. Get involved in team sports, and stop crying like a woman. Because if one thing is shit sure, women do not want do have sex with other women. Unless they are lesbians, in which case you are shit out of luck anyway."

I ended up joining the rugby team, and never looked back.

Allright dude, I feel for you. I was in your shoes until a few years ago when I graduated and joined the military. So here are some pointers based off of what you wrote and what your pic showed.
1 Get pro active. Hanging out on websites or playing RPGs wont get you laid
2 Work out. End of statement. I know it sucks, but I was pudgey (210-30 lbs) when I was in Highschool and I didnt really get ass. Now you could grade cheese off my arms.
3. Talk to them and be a man. This nice guy shit is sweet, but that will keep you being "just friends". Be agressive and stand upish. Women actually like a man to show he has balls.
4 quit worrying. I can see in your face you have shit poor self confidence, so can chicks. Walk around like they would be fortunate enough just to touch you let alone date you and women will start to wonder why they are not dating you after all

Your problem is you stay home, if no one invites you to their place you have to be pro-active and invite them to your place. Also that shirt you're wearing looks like one of mine, unflattering. The seams on the sides of your shoulders should be on the top otherwise you look all droopy and slouched.

I actually got compliments on this shirt... I guess its just because its better than what I wore before...

Oh, and you should get your hair styled. If not, just pull some hair wax through it so it doesn't look so fluffy.

Look, all I can do is give the same advice that my G'dad - an ex paratroop - gave to me when I was in a similar postion at fifteen. (I was about the same height- but not so flabby, no offence),

He said: "Pull your fucking finger out your ass. Get involved in team sports, and stop crying like a woman. Because if one thing is shit sure, women do not want do have sex with other women. Unless they are lesbians, in which case you are shit out of luck anyway."

I ended up joining the rugby team, and never looked back.

Yeah, im not all that athletic...but I am joining the national guard this summer. Its gonna be kind of wierd joining a sports team as a senior, being with the freshman and sophomores in JV.

Oh, and you should get your hair styled. If not, just pull some hair wax through it so it doesn't look so fluffy.

My hair has been kinda screwy the last few days. I was sick, and didnt shower.

Are you Irish?

Are you Irish?

French. I dont know what a lot of my blood is though, except for french and norwegian.

Well put a smile on your face
Never make the first step its always someone elses task.

With all due respect, you look like a queer. That and staying home on the weekends can really cramp your style if your looking for girls. When I say this, please understand, you look like a stereotype image many people have in their head when they think "Gay". Its not nice or intelligent on their part, but there it is. Your haircut and shirt are extremely reminiscent of the token gay clone on certain TV shows and as talking heads on CNN whenever some gay issue comes up. Plus you've got a nice softy type look about you that peole associate with queers.

I know people are going to jump all over me for this, but I mean no disrespect and I know the entire idea of being able to correct peg someones sexuality based on looks alone is basicly idiotic. Nonetheless, people do this kind of thing all the time. Since the social atmosphere of high school can't have improved since I went, this kind of misconception may well be one of the factors giving you dificulty. I hope I'm not giving you a complex by saying what I have. Its just my opinion based on my observation. Actually chatting up some girls and asking them out would dispell this mistaken perception pretty quickly. I'm straight but get mistaken for being Queer now and again. Meh, it doesn't bug me anymore...but I'm 31, so the social scene I'm in is much different from yours.


Much respect and good luck with your challenges.

Yeah, im not all that athletic...but I am joining the national guard this summer. Its gonna be kind of wierd joining a sports team as a senior, being with the freshman and sophomores in JV.

Hey, that's part of it. Brings you out of your shell. It's easy to make "friends" when you are just casual. When you start to be part of a common enterprise things change.

Plus, I know that it is a scary thing to do, but honestly, it will help.

Also, the NG will be good for you, because you will be put in with older guys who will hook you up.

Edit: Just remember, the most important thing is not to take yourself seriously. Evar. (provided you do the above).

Bugger off. Quit the "please feel sorry for me, I'm so sorry for myself" act and stand up, be a man, and do something to change your situation. If you want it, take it. Quit wondering why, and take a look at yourself and your situation. Don't be so damned depressed about it, and quit whining. If you're so good at being a "people person" then start talking, start acting, and start doing.

With all due respect, you look like a queer. That and staying home on the weekends can really cramp your style if your looking for girls. When I say this, please understand, you look like a stereotype image many people have in their head when they think "Gay". Its not nice or intelligent on their part, but there it is. Your haircut and shirt are extremely reminiscent of the token gay clone on certain TV shows and as talking heads on CNN whenever some gay issue comes up. Plus you've got a nice softy type look about you that peole associate with queers.

I know people are going to jump all over me for this, but I mean no disrespect and I know the entire idea of being able to correct peg someones sexuality based on looks alone is basicly idiotic. Nonetheless, people do this kind of thing all the time. Since the social atmosphere of high school can't have improved since I went, this kind of misconception may well be one of the factors giving you dificulty. I hope I'm not giving you a complex by saying what I have. Its just my opinion based on my observation. Actually chatting up some girls and asking them out would dispell this mistaken perception pretty quickly. I'm straight but get mistaken for being Queer now and again. Meh, it doesn't bug me anymore...but I'm 31, so the social scene I'm in is much different from yours.


Much respect and good luck with your challenges.

Don't really know what to make with this. All I've done is try to look as good as I can... If you have any suggestions, I would take them.

Bugger off. Quit the "please feel sorry for me, I'm so sorry for myself" act and stand up, be a man, and do something to change your situation. If you want it, take it. Quit wondering why, and take a look at yourself and your situation. Don't be so damned depressed about it, and quit whining. If you're so good at being a "people person" then start talking, start acting, and start doing.

You didnt have to read this thread, nor respond to it. I don't need people to feel sorry for me. I need help. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I've tried to be more active, but it never seems to work out well. You giving me buzz words like "start acting" dont help at all.

Whats wrong with me?


You need less masturbation, and more oat-bran.

Don't really know what to make with this. All I've done is try to look as good as I can... If you have any suggestions, I would take them.

Dude, just be yourself. Dress and look however you feel like. Just go out and start chatting up girls that you like. Ask 'em out. Then muddle along like every other teenage guy. You have the power to change people's perception of you. Also realize I pointed out what I did as a POSSIBILITY, not a fact.

I've never been a stud, like some on this forum claim themselves to be. I've been in only two serious relationships, and didn't have my first kiss until I was sixteen. However, I've now found a wonderful woman who wants to share her life with me, and I owe it all to being "the nice guy."

It is said that nice guys finish last, and I'll admit that we come out of the starting gate pretty slowly, but it all pays off in the end. We are the constant ones, the ones that know just what to say to make someone smile. That is our greatest strength, and I recommend you keep at it. Use your abilities to make plenty of friends, especially girls. Get to know them as well as possible. Be the friend they've always wanted, and chances are they'll realize just what a catch the nice guy really is. Even if your female friends don't take an interest, they can also help to introduce you to their friends, and set you up on dates. Of course, the key to all this is being sincere. If you are only in it to get dates, the whole thing will fall apart.

You need less masturbation, and more oat-bran.

I've been working on the masturbation.

Dude, just be yourself. Dress and look however you feel like. Just go out and start chatting up girls that you like. Ask 'em out. Then muddle along like every other teenage guy. You have the power to change people's perception of you. Also realize I pointed out what I did as a POSSIBILITY, not a fact.

I've been told to be myself all my life. Its not gotten me very far. At least being fake has gotten me to a position of not being a hated person at school(for the last 3 years or so).

I've never been a stud, like some on this forum claim themselves to be. I've been in only two serious relationships, and didn't have my first kiss until I was sixteen. However, I've now found a wonderful woman who wants to share her life with me, and I owe it all to being "the nice guy."

It is said that nice guys finish last, and I'll admit that we come out of the starting gate pretty slowly, but it all pays off in the end. We are the constant ones, the ones that know just what to say to make someone smile. That is our greatest strength, and I recommend you keep at it. Use your abilities to make plenty of friends, especially girls. Get to know them as well as possible. Be the friend they've always wanted, and chances are they'll realize just what a catch the nice guy really is. Even if your female friends don't take an interest, they can also help to introduce you to their friends, and set you up on dates. Of course, the key to all this is being sincere. If you are only in it to get dates, the whole thing will fall apart.

From all that I've heard, you are an exception, not the rule.

From all that I've heard, you are an exception, not the rule.
Hmm...
I'm not sure of your sources, so I can't dismiss them off-handedly. Maybe it depends on region. Either way, there isn't really anything wrong with you (based on what you've posted, anyway). I'd say not to worry about it. Another consideration that just occurred to me: Are you certain that no one is interested in you? That kind of thing can be easy to miss sometimes.

I've never been a stud, like some on this forum claim themselves to be. I've been in only two serious relationships, and didn't have my first kiss until I was sixteen. However, I've now found a wonderful woman who wants to share her life with me, and I owe it all to being "the nice guy."

It is said that nice guys finish last, and I'll admit that we come out of the starting gate pretty slowly, but it all pays off in the end. We are the constant ones, the ones that know just what to say to make someone smile. That is our greatest strength, and I recommend you keep at it. Use your abilities to make plenty of friends, especially girls. Get to know them as well as possible. Be the friend they've always wanted, and chances are they'll realize just what a catch the nice guy really is. Even if your female friends don't take an interest, they can also help to introduce you to their friends, and set you up on dates. Of course, the key to all this is being sincere. If you are only in it to get dates, the whole thing will fall apart.

I think this is the best advice I've seen yet. I'd like to add that confidence is hugely attractive (to both sexes). Don't let your self worth depend on what some girls think, the ones worth having will like you for what you are.

More importantly, until you're comfortable and happy living without a girlfriend, you're probably not emotionally ready for a good relationship. It's been my experience that people who feel they need a girlfriend/boyfriend, or who think they're missing something without one rarely have happy long lasting relationships.

So forget about girls for now, get comfortable living without one, and it'll all fall into place with time.

From all that I've heard, you are an exception, not the rule.

No chick is going to respect you, until you respect yourself. I have told you what to do.

Hmm...
I'm not sure of your sources, so I can't dismiss them off-handedly. Maybe it depends on region. Either way, there isn't really anything wrong with you (based on what you've posted, anyway). I'd say not to worry about it. Another consideration that just occurred to me: Are you certain that no one is interested in you? That kind of thing can be easy to miss sometimes.

I suppose I should expound on the question.

Well, there have been a couple fat girls that I know liked me. Wasn't particularly interested though.

There are two...prospects that have become more apparent recently. One is a fairly cute girl I know, actually able to hold up a decent conversation, not that religious, etc. She drives, which is a plus, because I don't have a car. We spent a field trip "together", basically walking around, sitting together, etc. I wasn't sure how to really take it, as I was basically the one pushing for this. We have a few classes together, which helps. I got her number today, though not for anything explicit. Not sure if she's just a friend, or what.

Then there is another chick. She isn't the most popular girl, but she's cute. Fairly skinny, which is a plus. I think she's interested in me, but I dont know. I kind of asked her to junior prom, but never got a straight answer out of her(In the middle of asking her, a bunch of other people kept trying to talk to her. I eventually walked away). The thing about it is, at a study session after the prom(which we were both at, plus many others), I was her partner. I overheard her talking to her friends(I didnt go to prom), and I heard her talking about how she never saw her date, and wasn't sure he even showed up. About 30 seconds later, after finishing speaking with them, she turned to me(didn't seem a continuation of what she was saying to her friends) and asked me if I had gone to prom. I wasn't quite sure what to make out of it, though I have suspected she is interested in me.

No chick is going to respect you, until you respect yourself. I have told you what to do.

I respect myself for my talents, but thats about it, and my talents don't interest women. I don't see what else to respect.

I suppose I should expound on the question.

Well, there have been a couple fat girls that I know liked me. Wasn't particularly interested though.

There are two...prospects that have become more apparent recently. One is a fairly cute girl I know, actually able to hold up a decent conversation, not that religious, etc. She drives, which is a plus, because I don't have a car. We spent a field trip "together", basically walking around, sitting together, etc. I wasn't sure how to really take it, as I was basically the one pushing for this. We have a few classes together, which helps. I got her number today, though not for anything explicit. Not sure if she's just a friend, or what.

Then there is another chick. She isn't the most popular girl, but she's cute. Fairly skinny, which is a plus. I think she's interested in me, but I dont know. I kind of asked her to junior prom, but never got a straight answer out of her(In the middle of asking her, a bunch of other people kept trying to talk to her. I eventually walked away). The thing about it is, at a study session after the prom(which we were both at, plus many others), I was her partner. I overheard her talking to her friends(I didnt go to prom), and I heard her talking about how she never saw her date, and wasn't sure he even showed up. About 30 seconds later, after finishing speaking with them, she turned to me(didn't seem a continuation of what she was saying to her friends) and asked me if I had gone to prom. I wasn't quite sure what to make out of it, though I have suspected she is interested in me.

You seem to be judging girls based solely on their appearance, yet get all gloomy when the girls do it to you. You have completely ruled out the "fat" girls who do like you - so you can chase that skinny hot one you've got your eye on. No sympathy for you! NEXT!

No chick is going to respect you, until you respect yourself. I have told you what to do.

Yup, you sure did. And that advice, just like all the rest (EDIT: including mine), is worth the cost of the electricity it took to send.

Chellis, all I have for you is reality, and that is, as far as I can tell, this:

There's a reason you don't see cacti on tundra. Whatever is to grow grows best when planted in its ideal environment. High school is far from an ideal environment for the majority of those attending (it sure as hell wasn't for me). However, once I figured out what I liked to do or was good at and pursued a college degree, I found a lot more of "my people" and became much more confident and cared less and less about the opinions of those outside of that arena.

But your niche won't come to you, you have to find it. If you can't put in a considerable amount of effort, patience and self-honesty on the way to finding that niche, I'd give you the same advice as some of the more faux macho have here -- and that's get off your ass and stop whining. The world owes you precisely nothing. You're alive and presumably healthy -- the rest is effort. I wish you luck.

Yup, you sure did. And that advice, just like all the rest (EDIT: including mine), is worth the cost of the electricity it took to send.

Chellis, all I have for you is reality, and that is, as far as I can tell, this:

There's a reason you don't see cacti on tundra. Whatever is to grow grows best when planted in its ideal environment. High school is far from an ideal environment for the majority of those attending (it sure as hell wasn't for me). However, once I figured out what I liked to do or was good at and pursued a college degree, I found a lot more of "my people" and became much more confident and cared less and less about the opinions of those outside of that arena.

But your niche won't come to you, you have to find it. If you can't put in a considerable amount of effort, patience and self-honesty on the way to finding that niche, I'd give you the same advice as some of the more faux macho have here -- and that's get off your ass and stop whining. The world owes you precisely nothing. You're alive and presumably healthy -- the rest is effort. I wish you luck.

You know that thing in high school, where 99% of the girls want to fuck 1% of the guys.

Yah. despite what they tell you, it stays the same. People just learn to settle.

@gartref. I love the plumper womens. They are sexay.

You seem to be judging girls based solely on their appearance, yet get all gloomy when the girls do it to you. You have completely ruled out the "fat" girls who do like you - so you can chase that skinny hot one you've got your eye on. No sympathy for you! NEXT!

So basically, its fat girls or no girls? Thats a devils choice.

I dont judge girls solely on appearance. But it is a big factor for me. The chick I've been going for, with a few exceptions, are not near the hottest girls in school. I go after average looking girls, not ugly ones. If it helps to know, the fat chicks I rejected were sluts with little intellectual capacity. When both of them made themselves available to me, I was going after someone that I loved, and had loved for years, though I didn't find her incredibly good looking. She was a highly religious person, I was an atheist, and I tried incredibly hard to be with her. I tried to make it work. I failed.

Looks isn't the only factor. It is a pretty big factor, especially considering my age. A relationship now isnt going to last me that long, so I might as well get what I can out of it. A meaningful one would be worse to leave, and less fulfilling in the short run.

So basically, its fat girls or no girls? Thats a devils choice.

I dont judge girls solely on appearance. But it is a big factor for me. The chick I've been going for, with a few exceptions, are not near the hottest girls in school. I go after average looking girls, not ugly ones. If it helps to know, the fat chicks I rejected were sluts with little intellectual capacity. When both of them made themselves available to me, I was going after someone that I loved, and had loved for years, though I didn't find her incredibly good looking. She was a highly religious person, I was an atheist, and I tried incredibly hard to be with her. I tried to make it work. I failed.

Looks isn't the only factor. It is a pretty big factor, especially considering my age. A relationship now isnt going to last me that long, so I might as well get what I can out of it. A meaningful one would be worse to leave, and less fulfilling in the short run.

You are a nasty person.

You are a nasty person.

Agreed.

Chellis, you've got to examine your priorities from a female perspective. Do you think any young woman hearing what you've been saying here would cross the street to piss on you -- even if you were on fire?

So basically, its fat girls or no girls? Thats a devils choice.

I dont judge girls solely on appearance. But it is a big factor for me. The chick I've been going for, with a few exceptions, are not near the hottest girls in school. I go after average looking girls, not ugly ones. If it helps to know, the fat chicks I rejected were sluts with little intellectual capacity. When both of them made themselves available to me, I was going after someone that I loved, and had loved for years, though I didn't find her incredibly good looking. She was a highly religious person, I was an atheist, and I tried incredibly hard to be with her. I tried to make it work. I failed.

Looks isn't the only factor. It is a pretty big factor, especially considering my age. A relationship now isnt going to last me that long, so I might as well get what I can out of it. A meaningful one would be worse to leave, and less fulfilling in the short run.

Considering your criteria for a girl, and the goal of the relationship.... Why not just hire a high-priced hooker?

You can't drive?

instaphail!

If you want to be superficial (just to 'start' things off, :fluffle: ), you need to be able to drive. Work out. A lot. BE a ladies' man--and it will happen.

On the other hand, you need to be unattainable--yet wantable. Your pic does not equal wantable. Slouching, nothing going for you, no smile, eh. That's what people are thinking when they see you and you're like that.

You need the air of 'You want this--but you can't have it unless I say you can..."

Oh, maybe, you ought to become abstinent completely, and ABSTAIN from dating. That's pretty unattainable. But not quite wantable.

Look, all I can do is give the same advice that my G'dad - an ex paratroop - gave to me when I was in a similar postion at fifteen. (I was about the same height- but not so flabby, no offence),

He said: "Pull your fucking finger out your ass. Get involved in team sports, and stop crying like a woman. Because if one thing is shit sure, women do not want do have sex with other women. Unless they are lesbians, in which case you are shit out of luck anyway."

I ended up joining the rugby team, and never looked back.
ROFLMAO! I suspect your grandfather and I would get along quite well! :D

You know that thing in high school, where 99% of the girls want to fuck 1% of the guys. Yah. despite what they tell you, it stays the same. People just learn to settle.
Utter bullshit! I was a total nerd in HS. It wasn't until I started trying to be my personal best that I had much success with women. Know who you are and they'll want to know you! If you don't respect yourself, don't expect anyone else to either!

Utter bullshit! I was a total nerd in HS. It wasn't until I started trying to be my personal best that I had much success with women. Know who you are and they'll want to know you! If you don't respect yourself, don't expect anyone else to either!

Which made you jump from the 99 to the 1.

That is all.

Which made you jump from the 99 to the 1.

That is all.
Not sure I understand the question. :confused:

Not sure I understand the question. :confused:


All I am saying is that if you think things are going to change because you are no longer in highschool, then you are deluding youself.


Of cousre you can change your own position, but if you think that everything is going to work out while you just hang around in bed, then you are sorely mistaken.

All I am saying is that if you think things are going to change because you are no longer in highschool, then you are deluding youself.

Of course you can change your own position, but if you think that everything is going to work out while you just hang around in bed, then you are sorely mistaken.
Exactly. :)

Agreed.

Chellis, you've got to examine your priorities from a female perspective. Do you think any young woman hearing what you've been saying here would cross the street to piss on you -- even if you were on fire?

Does it matter about women on here? I'm not hitting on women online. I don't exactly talk about all this in person, and I play the role of the sweet romantic guy really well.

Sorry, but I'm a ladder theory believer.

Considering your criteria for a girl, and the goal of the relationship.... Why not just hire a high-priced hooker?

A. Its illegal here

B. I dont have that kind of cash

C. Despite anything else I said, obviously all you saw was "looks a big part".

1. you are a decent looking guy, but your demeanoer in that picture sends a "I'm pathetic" message -- stand up straight and get rid of that stupid look on your face.

2. your attitudes about women stink;

3. quit spending so much time online and start doing something that develops your relational skills with real people...like being with real people.


For example, start spending some time with those fat chicks or other girls you don't think are so hot now...go play miniature golf with them, etc. One day, those girls may very well be wonderful wives, or even hot babes. And, they may actually be pretty nice people.

1. you are a decent looking guy, but your demeanoer in that picture sends a "I'm pathetic" message -- stand up straight and get rid of that stupid look on your face.

2. your attitudes about women stink;

3. quit spending so much time online and start doing something that develops your relational skills with real people...like being with real people.


For example, start spending some time with those fat chicks or other girls you don't think are so hot now...go play miniature golf with them, etc. One day, those girls may very well be wonderful wives, or even hot babes. And, they may actually be pretty nice people.

Are you saying we're not real people!?!

Disclaimer: This is not a self-pity thread. I am actually wondering about this. I have gotten plenty of pity in my time, and its always unfulfilling.

Anyways, I'm 16, 17 in a week. Im in high school, I'm fairly popular(I can pretty much talk to anyone, and hang around them, including preps, etc). Im pretty smart, 6', 204 pounds(I know I'm heavy, but Im not that round). Just took this picture today, so you can see what I look like.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/Raslin/DSCF0127.jpg

Anyways, I just don't understand. I spend pretty much every night, including weekends, at home. I've never had a girlfriend, nor even been kissed. The only real thing I can think of is that I'm ugly. People are always telling me how smart and witty I am, and I can always make people laugh. I just don't see why I'm in such a position.
hey, exactly the same here dude - even down to the weight (ish). so you're not alone:)

i deal with it by a) not caring, b) being close and friends with my family, c) posting on NS a lot, and d) becoming depressed.
i wouldn't recommend c) or d)

i don't think there's anything wrong with you/us, just that perhaps we are older in mind & spirit than others our age. i'm 20 and did a second first year of uni this past year, and most of the people on my course are all about going out, getting pissed and doing crazy stuff. thats what attracts the majority of the girls at this age it seems. so either change to be more like the 'norm', wait it out till you're older, or hope that a special girl enters your life, one of the few who will like & love you for who you are and not just the things you do


oh and, although i'm a dude, i wouldn't say you're ugly. in fact put some longer hair on you and you'd look pretty much like me:D
so no fuckin way are you ugly;) :p

Are you saying we're not real people!?!


Well, maybe...

By that, I mean the relationship that is developed is not real. How many times have you had someone talk with you in a thread here in a way they never would do in person? You can be a jerk in real life but not get away with it because people won't put up with the behavior. But online, your attitude pretty much comes out unrestricted by real-time responses from people who can see your expressions, hug you, or walk away from you.

Developing relationships online at the expense of real-world relationships is not healthy. What I'm basically telling Chellis is that if real-time relationships are a weakness for him, then he's investing time in the wrong place by spending it online....he hasn't figured out that being friends with a fat chick is more fun than typing messages on a forum board.

Be more foreward with girls. Ask them out. Ask all of them out. Rejection sucks, but at least you can look yourself in the mirror and be proud that you tried. You'll be surprised how seldom you get rejected though if you have the confidence to just start asking girls out.

First off, you are not fat! I live in the West Coast of Scotland, the Fat Man of Europe. I know fat. I also know potential. Go to a gym instead of a computer, within a month or two you'll be fine. Also, you might find one of those fit birds you lust after...

On the subject of the birds: Looks don't matter! You claim to be intelligent, so go for intelligent ladies. What's the point of going for someone who looks like Carmen Electra and shags like Paris Hilton if you can't talk about anything? You might as well buy a blow-up doll.

Anyways, I just don't understand. I spend pretty much every night, including weekends, at home. I've never had a girlfriend, nor even been kissed. The only real thing I can think of is that I'm ugly. People are always telling me how smart and witty I am, and I can always make people laugh. I just don't see why I'm in such a position.
I think I found your problem...

Amen to everything Pure Metal posted, minus the long hair, of course.

I think I found your problem...

The thing, I don't choose this. I just dont really have any connections to hang out with people, and so its hard to get into it.

Though, I did hang out with one of those chicks that like me today. I was high, and was hitting on her a little. I was just a little desperate, and out of my head though, heh.

I've been told to be myself all my life. Its not gotten me very far. At least being fake has gotten me to a position of not being a hated person at school(for the last 3 years or so).


Don't be fake :(

Haven't read further to know if you have tried to explain what the "real" you is and what you are like fake.

That's probably the underlying issue here.

Until you can learn to be yourself, or change somethings about yourself for the positive (.. if the real you is so horrid.. which I doubt.. I think you are just struck down on yourself), I don't think you can be happy and self-confidant.

I wish you the best.

Don't be fake :(

Haven't read further to know if you have tried to explain what the "real" you is and what you are like fake.

That's probably the underlying issue here.

Until you can learn to be yourself, or change somethings about yourself for the positive (.. if the real you is so horrid.. which I doubt.. I think you are just struck down on yourself), I don't think you can be happy and self-confidant.

I wish you the best.

Things get exaggerated on the interweb. Im not that fake, I just don't flash my inner-geek to most people.

I respect myself for my talents, but thats about it, and my talents don't interest women. I don't see what else to respect.


You're 16.. almost 17. These aren't women you are dealing with .. these are girls.

They won't start appreciating what is worth being appreciated til they are older and wiser.

Majority of women at 30 will tell you that what they were attracted to at 16 is nothing they would even consider now. I know that doesn't really help you to get laid at the moment.. but just wanted you to know that.

What's wrong with you?

Frankly, you sound like a phony, self-concious, and uninteresting semi-jerk. Just cut the shit. You'll be out of the hellhole that is highschool soon enough, and things will fall into place. Oh, and get yourself some self-esteem. You're good at some things, right? So what's the deal?

What's wrong with you?

Frankly, you sound like a phony, self-concious, and uninteresting semi-jerk. Just cut the shit. You'll be out of the hellhole that is highschool soon enough, and things will fall into place. Oh, and get yourself some self-esteem. You're good at some things, right? So what's the deal?

I don't have low self-esteem. Im just looking at the facts. As for the other things, maybe true, except I'm not that uninteresting. I just dont say much, when I dont have much to say, which is often.

So basically, its fat girls or no girls? Thats a devils choice.

I dont judge girls solely on appearance. But it is a big factor for me. The chick I've been going for, with a few exceptions, are not near the hottest girls in school. I go after average looking girls, not ugly ones. If it helps to know, the fat chicks I rejected were sluts with little intellectual capacity. When both of them made themselves available to me, I was going after someone that I loved, and had loved for years, though I didn't find her incredibly good looking. She was a highly religious person, I was an atheist, and I tried incredibly hard to be with her. I tried to make it work. I failed.

Looks isn't the only factor. It is a pretty big factor, especially considering my age. A relationship now isnt going to last me that long, so I might as well get what I can out of it. A meaningful one would be worse to leave, and less fulfilling in the short run.


I understand you wanting what you want. I just hope you aren't the kind of person that looks down on a girl that wants you.

I knew a person like that once. They wouldn't have anything to do with a girl that was interested in them.. and they would chase what they couldn't have. Then if the girl they were chasing did start liking them and wanting to be with them.. they would lose interest and label them "unworthy" in their mind. This guy had real low self-esteem. Could have also been that they were afraid of being hurt or rejected by someone that might have gotten too close.

Disclaimer: This is not a self-pity thread. I am actually wondering about this. I have gotten plenty of pity in my time, and its always unfulfilling.

Anyways, I'm 16, 17 in a week. Im in high school, I'm fairly popular(I can pretty much talk to anyone, and hang around them, including preps, etc). Im pretty smart, 6', 204 pounds(I know I'm heavy, but Im not that round). Just took this picture today, so you can see what I look like.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v255/Raslin/DSCF0127.jpg

Anyways, I just don't understand. I spend pretty much every night, including weekends, at home. I've never had a girlfriend, nor even been kissed. The only real thing I can think of is that I'm ugly. People are always telling me how smart and witty I am, and I can always make people laugh. I just don't see why I'm in such a position.


First off, you don't look bad. Second, smile. Third, for most of my life, I was bloody depressed, for reasons I won't go into. My life turned around when I took matters into my own hands, my sophomore year of highschool. I did something I didn't think I could do. I stood up for myself, I grew a spine, I forced myself to start talking to others. In doing so, I became me, not some stereotypical nerd (which I was,and in some ways, am). I used to think I was unattractive, but came to realize I wasn't. I learned to love myself for who and what I am, not what others want me to be. You should do the same. I make people laugh, I piss 'em off, often at the same time. Find out what's you, and embrace it. It sounds like your life isn't that bad, you just need to realize it. In highschool, most relationships are severly overrated, and few know what true love is (in my honest and blunt opinion). You'll get a girlfriend in time, when you're ready. Not before. But first, you have to deal with your emotional baggage, before you do.

I think I'm probably a slightly slimmer, slightly older, version of you, Chellis, my man. And for starts, where'd you get "Chellis" from, anyway? So I see that you do flash your inner geek sometimes, I mean you did say interweb, and you're on here posting with the best of us. On that note, all you who said get out and do stuff, hey! you're posting on here all the same. And so am I. Cause I'm a nighthawk with a procrastination problem, even when it comes to sleep which I love. So I guess I have an addiction problem. What I have to say to you, Chellis, is all that you ever need to know. Just don't worry about it. I know that the easiest thing to do is to worry about it, and what you want to do is to worry about it, or feel bad about it, whatev, just get up and go outside or do some mundane chore that you can focus on and stop thinking about your problem. If it's nightime, like it is for me GO TO FKKING SLEEP!! You're in high school, so you don't appreciate sleep yet, but let me tell you, when you live in a college dorm with a bunch of Halo gamers, you are so going to miss the sleep you used to get in high school. So go to sleep, start savin up for the losses you'll incur at the uni, or if not uni, then a work schedule, and that sleep will give you the energy to get some healthy exercise in next day. Learn to love sleep, learn to love the pain of good exercise, and learn to love people for their good qualities. Find the good in people, and complement them on it. Focus on it, even in your own mind. That's how I have loads of friends among the hot chicks, average chicks, AND fat chicks, and no offense to any of the three by categorizing them this way. I'm a real big fan of the ladies, and I have like 10 times as many lady friends as guy friends, but I haven't dated since high school. I'm like a brother to all my friends. They love me for it, and I love them, but I don't get any tail. If you're interested in tail, keep up the romantic flair stuff, but get in regular exercise to tone up those muscles and give you a better energy reserve. Those endorphines from exercise will give you some extra confidence. Most important, it's not about being yourself, it's about not worrying. Although I definitely support being yourself, it doesn't sound like you're too pleased with yourself, so change yourself in some noticeable way. And hey, talk to some of the girls who you know are not interested in you and whom you are likewise uninterested in about some of this. Don't go into much detail, but just ask them friend to friend, "Hey, chica, I was just wonderin if you could help me understand better what you ladies are looking for in a guy." Something to that respect, where it's not too desperate, and she'll probably try to help you out. I dunno. I mean, we don't know your exact situation. Just get out there and let people know you're a person too, and a darn right unique and interesting one at that. And think of people before yourself. You'll learn that way in no time what they want. Good luck to ya, bro, and peace out

Does it matter about women on here? I'm not hitting on women online. I don't exactly talk about all this in person, and I play the role of the sweet romantic guy really well.

Sorry, but I'm a ladder theory believer.

Not a good attitude.

Not the way to be.

I think I'm probably a slightly slimmer, slightly older, version of you, Chellis, my man. And for starts, where'd you get "Chellis" from, anyway? So I see that you do flash your inner geek sometimes, I mean you did say interweb, and you're on here posting with the best of us. On that note, all you who said get out and do stuff, hey! you're posting on here all the same. And so am I. Cause I'm a nighthawk with a procrastination problem, even when it comes to sleep which I love. So I guess I have an addiction problem. What I have to say to you, Chellis, is all that you ever need to know. Just don't worry about it. I know that the easiest thing to do is to worry about it, and what you want to do is to worry about it, or feel bad about it, whatev, just get up and go outside or do some mundane chore that you can focus on and stop thinking about your problem. If it's nightime, like it is for me GO TO FKKING SLEEP!! You're in high school, so you don't appreciate sleep yet, but let me tell you, when you live in a college dorm with a bunch of Halo gamers, you are so going to miss the sleep you used to get in high school. So go to sleep, start savin up for the losses you'll incur at the uni, or if not uni, then a work schedule, and that sleep will give you the energy to get some healthy exercise in next day. Learn to love sleep, learn to love the pain of good exercise, and learn to love people for their good qualities. Find the good in people, and complement them on it. Focus on it, even in your own mind. That's how I have loads of friends among the hot chicks, average chicks, AND fat chicks, and no offense to any of the three by categorizing them this way. I'm a real big fan of the ladies, and I have like 10 times as many lady friends as guy friends, but I haven't dated since high school. I'm like a brother to all my friends. They love me for it, and I love them, but I don't get any tail. If you're interested in tail, keep up the romantic flair stuff, but get in regular exercise to tone up those muscles and give you a better energy reserve. Those endorphines from exercise will give you some extra confidence. Most important, it's not about being yourself, it's about not worrying. Although I definitely support being yourself, it doesn't sound like you're too pleased with yourself, so change yourself in some noticeable way. And hey, talk to some of the girls who you know are not interested in you and whom you are likewise uninterested in about some of this. Don't go into much detail, but just ask them friend to friend, "Hey, chica, I was just wonderin if you could help me understand better what you ladies are looking for in a guy." Something to that respect, where it's not too desperate, and she'll probably try to help you out. I dunno. I mean, we don't know your exact situation. Just get out there and let people know you're a person too, and a darn right unique and interesting one at that. And think of people before yourself. You'll learn that way in no time what they want. Good luck to ya, bro, and peace out

I get about 6 hours of sleep a night, I dont really count that as a lot of sleep.

Not a good attitude.

Not the way to be.

A realistic attitude

Depends on the girl

I get about 6 hours of sleep a night, I dont really count that as a lot of sleep.

Exactly. If you're getting 6, in high school, you can get 8. No excuses. Least no reasonable ones. Plenty that I used, but none feasible. LoL Don't get me wrong, sleep isn't THE answer, but it helps a whole lot. take it from one sleep deprived sleeplover

First off, you don't look bad. Second, smile. Third, for most of my life, I was bloody depressed, for reasons I won't go into. My life turned around when I took matters into my own hands, my sophomore year of highschool. I did something I didn't think I could do. I stood up for myself, I grew a spine, I forced myself to start talking to others. In doing so, I became me, not some stereotypical nerd (which I was,and in some ways, am). I used to think I was unattractive, but came to realize I wasn't. I learned to love myself for who and what I am, not what others want me to be. You should do the same. I make people laugh, I piss 'em off, often at the same time. Find out what's you, and embrace it. It sounds like your life isn't that bad, you just need to realize it. In highschool, most relationships are severly overrated, and few know what true love is (in my honest and blunt opinion). You'll get a girlfriend in time, when you're ready. Not before. But first, you have to deal with your emotional baggage, before you do.

The thing is, I dont care that much of what others think about me. I only care about it to the extent of what I need them to think, so I can get what I want from them. I do have some emotional baggage, as the two girls I have loved(yes, Im 16, and I dont know what love is if you are cynical. But whatever it was, it was more than infatuation) ended up in disaster. A childhood friendship lost, and and intellectual whoreship begun with another.

I understand you wanting what you want. I just hope you aren't the kind of person that looks down on a girl that wants you.

I knew a person like that once. They wouldn't have anything to do with a girl that was interested in them.. and they would chase what they couldn't have. Then if the girl they were chasing did start liking them and wanting to be with them.. they would lose interest and label them "unworthy" in their mind. This guy had real low self-esteem. Could have also been that they were afraid of being hurt or rejected by someone that might have gotten too close.

Please don't take this the wrong way, Naturality (good name, btw), and I have no place addressing this, cause I don't know what happened, but as one who's watched this sort of scene again and again and never had it happen (and sometimes even wished it would happen, cause I wouldn't lose interest), I must say that what happened to you was totally unfair to you. I pray you find the person who would never label you as unworthy, and that the two of you will find ea. other at the right time. You're a good person, and it will happen eventually. Take care!

Exactly. If you're getting 6, in high school, you can get 8. No excuses. Least no reasonable ones. Plenty that I used, but none feasible. LoL Don't get me wrong, sleep isn't THE answer, but it helps a whole lot. take it from one sleep deprived sleeplover

That would meaning going to bed at 10. I dont even start my homework till 11 or 12.

Please don't take this the wrong way, Naturality (good name, btw), and I have no place addressing this, cause I don't know what happened, but as one who's watched this sort of scene again and again and never had it happen (and sometimes even wished it would happen, cause I wouldn't lose interest), I must say that what happened to you was totally unfair to you. I pray you find the person who would never label you as unworthy, and that the two of you will find ea. other at the right time. You're a good person, and it will happen eventually. Take care!


Didn't happen to me. Was a friend of mine. He knew it as much as I recognized him being the way I described in my post. But he couldn't change being that way. He's dead now. I still love him dearly.


But thank you for the kind words!

By the way, I feel I should mention I was smiling in the picture. Im usually much more frown-y.

That would meaning going to bed at 10. I dont even start my homework till 11 or 12.

what do you do from when you get home until 11? I mean, can you do some of your homework before you get on the interbutt I mean intarweb? Pretty much just ration out your hours. Sounds like you could also do some of the homework during some of the time you waste your life away on NS. But Heck, isn't it summer? Why are we talking about homework??? Get out there and have some summer fun!! Or at least rediscover the beauty of the nature/city around your house. I always enjoy that. Then again, I'm the nature freak.

Didn't happen to me. Was a friend of mine. He knew it as much as I recognized him being the way I described in my post. But he couldn't change being that way. He's dead now. I still love him dearly.


But thank you for the kind words!

First and foremost, my sincere condolences (lots) for your friend. May he rest in peace. And hey, I'm just a compassionate soul trying to spread love to the populace. I consider it the culmination of our existence: to understand and love each other at all times. But you take care anyway, and have a good one.

what do you do from when you get home until 11? I mean, can you do some of your homework before you get on the interbutt I mean intarweb? Pretty much just ration out your hours. Sounds like you could also do some of the homework during some of the time you waste your life away on NS. But Heck, isn't it summer? Why are we talking about homework??? Get out there and have some summer fun!! Or at least rediscover the beauty of the nature/city around your house. I always enjoy that. Then again, I'm the nature freak.

I have school till June 16th. A week or two later, I am going to national guard boot camp.

I am lazy. I am a 2.x student, though I can easily get 3.0-4.0 fairly easily. I just don't like doing homework. I know I understand, I shouldn't have to prove it to others. If I must, just make bi-daily tests, or whatnot.

I dont spend much time on NS. I spend most of my time from 3:20-12 playing video games, talking online, and less often than not watch TV. Then I drag myself to do it, when Im falling asleep.

I have school till June 16th. A week or two later, I am going to national guard boot camp.

I am lazy. I am a 2.x student, though I can easily get 3.0-4.0 fairly easily. I just don't like doing homework. I know I understand, I shouldn't have to prove it to others. If I must, just make bi-daily tests, or whatnot.

I dont spend much time on NS. I spend most of my time from 3:20-12 playing video games, talking online, and less often than not watch TV. Then I drag myself to do it, when Im falling asleep.

Well, all else I'll say about homework is this: for me, if I started on it, I wouldn't want to stop unless I got stuck or I finished it. So just start it. Or atleast try. at 3:20, do a littlebit, then some more once you've taken over the next province or two or killed the next boss. And bot camp should shape you up a bit, definitely. Get the most you can out of it, it'll be good for ya. Good luck to ya, man, and don't be so lazy. Although I'm definitely not one to talk, but I can say that as an objective command. Simply try. Worry about Yoda later.

I have school till June 16th.

:) That's my birthday... not that you guys care...

:) That's my birthday... not that you guys care...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LASHIE!!!

My guess would be that you're simply afraid to ask a girl out. Cowboy up, man! There's no secret in life. You just have to kick yourself in the ass and stand up to the challenges that life puts before you.

Of course, it's never easy, but it's always simple.

Be a man, muster up your courage, walk up to a girl, strike up a conversation ("Hi" will do great as a pick-up line) and ask her to go to a movie with you sometime. If she turns you down, no big deal, move on to the next girl. It's not hard; at first I was scared to death to talk to a girl but I grew to understand that it won't kill me or humiliate me if a girl doesn't want to go out with me.

You say that you're charming and witty and I believe you. Once you break that taboo that holds you back from asking girls out you'll do great and you'll have plenty of hot girls to choose from, like I do.

:fluffle: Good luck! :fluffle:

Bump

bump

Anyways, I just don't understand. I spend pretty much every night, including weekends, at home. I've never had a girlfriend, nor even been kissed. The only real thing I can think of is that I'm ugly. People are always telling me how smart and witty I am, and I can always make people laugh. I just don't see why I'm in such a position.

Yeah...you kinda are ugly to be honest...but not so unfortunatley hideous that you're doomed to walk the world alone forever. From how that pick looks...you seem boring and average. Step outside the box...and make sure your standards aren't too high. It gets better after High School, too.

Thanks Individualnost!!! :fluffle:

I can sympathize. But at least you're not in a wheelchair. Trust me, it's a real chick-magnet. :headbang: Seriously, women will eventually come to realize that a nice guy who treats her like a lady has a lot more to offer than jocks and rich guys. Just be patient (I know it's difficult), work on your self-confidence, and remember to always show a woman the same respect you would want her to show you. Trust me, she's out there and you'll find her. :)

I think you need to put more effort into life in general...., but that's just me :)

good luck anyways....

Ok let us look at it this way. You are a pitcher in baseball and you are facing the same batter for the fourth time in a row. The last 3 times you have thrown a fastball, which he has hit a home run off of you every time. Are you going to throw a fastball again? No. You are going to throw another pitch. Therefore, whatever you are doing now you need to change, it obviously does not attract the women that you want. You need to look at the guys who are successful with the type of woman that you like, and see what they wear, see how they act around them, see what their personalities are like. Make friends with THOSE guys, just modeling how their successful can give you pointers on how you can be successful with those types of woman. Btw, do not let these guys say you are an asshole because looks matter to you, you cannot help who you are attracted too, and it is not a choice. TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Thanks Individualnost!!! :fluffle:
Hey anytime! And definitely enjoy it as much as humanly possible!! But then again, you don't want your face to freeze in the most outrageous smile ever,....or do you...? (side - anyone watch the Venture Bro.s?)

I can sympathize. But at least you're not in a wheelchair. Trust me, it's a real chick-magnet. :headbang: Seriously, women will eventually come to realize that a nice guy who treats her like a lady has a lot more to offer than jocks and rich guys. Just be patient (I know it's difficult), work on your self-confidence, and remember to always show a woman the same respect you would want her to show you. Trust me, she's out there and you'll find her. :)
Not to be weird, but on a wheelchair note, I was most jealous of McCulley in Saved cause he got the hottest girl. And almost because he was wheelchair-ridden.

Oh, hey, Chellis-san, here's soemthing that may help you a bit, or at least lift your spirits, or who knows. But if you haven't already, DEFINITELY check out M.C. Chris, the best rapper ever!! (and he's white, LoL) He makes me proud to be a geek.

Well... you are fat...

Whats wrong with me?
Disclaimer: This is not a self-pity thread. I am actually wondering about this. I have gotten plenty of pity in my time, and its always unfulfilling.

Anyways, I'm 16, 17 in a week. Im in high school, I'm fairly popular(I can pretty much talk to anyone, and hang around them, including preps, etc). Im pretty smart, 6', 204 pounds(I know I'm heavy, but Im not that round). Just took this picture today, so you can see what I look like.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v...in/DSCF0127.jpg

Anyways, I just don't understand. I spend pretty much every night, including weekends, at home. I've never had a girlfriend, nor even been kissed. The only real thing I can think of is that I'm ugly. People are always telling me how smart and witty I am, and I can always make people laugh. I just don't see why I'm in such a position.


I suppose I should expound on the question.

Well, there have been a couple fat girls that I know liked me. Wasn't particularly interested though.

There are two...prospects that have become more apparent recently. One is a fairly cute girl I know, actually able to hold up a decent conversation, not that religious, etc. She drives, which is a plus, because I don't have a car. We spent a field trip "together", basically walking around, sitting together, etc. I wasn't sure how to really take it, as I was basically the one pushing for this. We have a few classes together, which helps. I got her number today, though not for anything explicit. Not sure if she's just a friend, or what.

Then there is another chick. She isn't the most popular girl, but she's cute. Fairly skinny, which is a plus. I think she's interested in me, but I dont know. I kind of asked her to junior prom, but never got a straight answer out of her(In the middle of asking her, a bunch of other people kept trying to talk to her. I eventually walked away). The thing about it is, at a study session after the prom(which we were both at, plus many others), I was her partner. I overheard her talking to her friends(I didnt go to prom), and I heard her talking about how she never saw her date, and wasn't sure he even showed up. About 30 seconds later, after finishing speaking with them, she turned to me(didn't seem a continuation of what she was saying to her friends) and asked me if I had gone to prom. I wasn't quite sure what to make out of it, though I have suspected she is interested in me.

You got roasted for this post, and it's follow up, and maybe rightly so.

From your OP, and the above, I have a bit more to add.

1) There's nothin "wrong" with you. You are quite typical. You are 16, going on 17, and have never been kissed. That's quite common, so quit worrying about it.

2) You are asking what's wrong with yourself. You list lots of positive qualities, and conclude that it must be ugliness. From that comment, and others, you appear to place a lot of value on physical apperance. You'll learn that that's not what's most important, one way or another. (The various posters here most likely won't teach you that. Life will.)

3) That comment, and others, also are indicative of a "I'm a nice guy" personality. It has been my experience that people with similar complaints are not really nice guys and so unassertive as to have no chance. The "I'm a nice guy bit serves as a nice comfy blanket against reality.

4) The Jr. Prom girl was an unmitigated disaster on your part. Bad timing, bad execution, bad follow through.

My advice:

1) Call the field trip girl. ASAP. Say "Hi, this is (Chellis). I was wondering if you'd like to go to a movie this Saturday?"

2) Do not make a big deal of whether or not you have a girlfriend right now. Having a girlfriend is not the be all end all of high school life.

3) Treat any dates you have to a post date "debriefing session". Go over what you said that was right and wrong. Learn from it.

4) Ask a female friend or relative for advice. Someone just a few years older than you that you trust would probably be best - an older sister or cousin, for example. Aunts, grannies, and your mother can also help. Advice in this case means: how to dress to impress the ladies (while keeping your style), what to say, where to go, and lots more.

5) Be clear and specific. Don't make a wishy-washy date. Do be polite. This is why the prom date was so bad. You asked her to a relatively important affair in a place and at a time that appears to have been inoprotune. Make your chance. You were apparantly unclear, if she indeed was expecting you as her date. (And you should certainly find out if she was. Apologise, if that was the case. Politeness never hurts.) In the future, do not leave the question hanging, get an answer! (Don't be pushy, do be assertive. And learn the difference.)

You got roasted for this post, and it's follow up, and maybe rightly so.

From your OP, and the above, I have a bit more to add.

1) There's nothin "wrong" with you. You are quite typical. You are 16, going on 17, and have never been kissed. That's quite common, so quit worrying about it.

2) You are asking what's wrong with yourself. You list lots of positive qualities, and conclude that it must be ugliness. From that comment, and others, you appear to place a lot of value on physical apperance. You'll learn that that's not what's most important, one way or another. (The various posters here most likely won't teach you that. Life will.)

3) That comment, and others, also are indicative of a "I'm a nice guy" personality. It has been my experience that people with similar complaints are not really nice guys and so unassertive as to have no chance. The "I'm a nice guy bit serves as a nice comfy blanket against reality.

4) The Jr. Prom girl was an unmitigated disaster on your part. Bad timing, bad execution, bad follow through.

My advice:

1) Call the field trip girl. ASAP. Say "Hi, this is (Chellis). I was wondering if you'd like to go to a movie this Saturday?"

2) Do not make a big deal of whether or not you have a girlfriend right now. Having a girlfriend is not the be all end all of high school life.

3) Treat any dates you have to a post date "debriefing session". Go over what you said that was right and wrong. Learn from it.

4) Ask a female friend or relative for advice. Someone just a few years older than you that you trust would probably be best - an older sister or cousin, for example. Aunts, grannies, and your mother can also help. Advice in this case means: how to dress to impress the ladies (while keeping your style), what to say, where to go, and lots more.

5) Be clear and specific. Don't make a wishy-washy date. Do be polite. This is why the prom date was so bad. You asked her to a relatively important affair in a place and at a time that appears to have been inoprotune. Make your chance. You were apparantly unclear, if she indeed was expecting you as her date. (And you should certainly find out if she was. Apologise, if that was the case. Politeness never hurts.) In the future, do not leave the question hanging, get an answer! (Don't be pushy, do be assertive. And learn the difference.)

1a. Around here it is a bit strange. Most people I hang out with have had girlfriends, with the exception of one group.

2a. I maybe should have written "What is wrong with me in women's eyes". I have no complaints about myself, specifically.

3a. I wouldn't say I'm a nice guy, but I can play the role in others eyes.

4a. The thing was, I was asking a few chicks to prom, and she was one of the end choices, so I wasn't jumping to go with her.

1b. I want too. I gave her my phone number on friday(she had a cell, and it was inbetween classes, so it was just easier), and she was going to call me over the weekend. Its monday, and she hasnt called me...

2b. Of course it isnt, but it would defidentally be nice.

5b. Its a bit late to ask her, would be awkward, especially if she said no.

3a. I wouldn't say I'm a nice guy, but I can play the role in others eyes.
Maybe that's your problem?
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If you're really a bastard but try to act nice to pull chicks? (guessing, i could be way off here)
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*Shrugs*

I suggest you go out drinking. highly effective