NationStates Jolt Archive

Would you have sex with someone you do not love?
Well, my 3rd thread about this topis today, :rolleyes: Im really wrecked.
But just try to verify some prejudice.

"Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love— that's not so bad either." - Mae West

There's nothing quite like hate sex :)

I love ... lamp!

Wait a second, that could be construed as ... oh never mind.
;)

f*** yeah, well, as long as its a hot woman, then n-n-n-n-noooooo

Let me get my stereotypes straight here:

1. Men will often have sex with someone who doesn't love them, but women won't.

2. Women are much better than men at sensing people's emotions.

There's something that doesn't quite add up here, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Sex is a fun and pleasant activity. :)

But nothing comes close to sex with someone you deeply and truly care for.

I wouldn't. Would you?

I am one of the, so far, TWO women who would. And I had to answer that, because I have, and if I hadn't answered that, well, wouldn't I be the hypocrite?

But never again, until the proper opportunity presents itself......actually, probably never again for real. I found who I want :fluffle:

Recently a German comedian (and football commentator) said something like:
"Men always want more sex,
women always want more money.
Well, there really has to be some sort of solution to that..."

To quote a certain mr. kilmister: "The answer to life's mystery is simple and direct; sex and death."

nope

Having had sex without love being present, I can say it was the most thoroughly unsatasfying thing I have experienced sexually.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Depends on the person and the mood I am in.

Yes but it depends on if i love them or not! :p

Having had sex without love being present, I can say it was the most thoroughly unsatasfying thing I have experienced sexually.

Mhh, btw maybe one should have discussed before what love is.
Ill make that thread.

I don't feel qualified to answer :(

Yes but it depends on if i love them or not! :p

No, not really. While I do agree that sex or other kinds of intimacy with a person you love is the best there is, having sex with a person I don't love is a thing I would or in fact do go for.

Especially if I'm (physically) attracted to the person or there might be a ... intriguing ... sexual experience involved.

Simonist']I am one of the, so far, TWO women who would. And I had to answer that, because I have, and if I hadn't answered that, well, wouldn't I be the hypocrite?

But never again, until the proper opportunity presents itself......actually, probably never again for real. I found who I want :fluffle:
Same here.

Don't we just live in a world of self-righteous goody goodies... the question should be, how many times have you fooled yourself into thinking that you love someone just so you can have a shag.

there arn't many females on this site

No, not really. While I do agree that sex or other kinds of intimacy with a person you love is the best there is, having sex with a person I don't love is a thing I would or in fact do go for.

Especially if I'm (physically) attracted to the person or there might be a ... intriguing ... sexual experience involved.
Dude my statement dosent make sense!

Don't we just live in a world of self-righteous goody goodies... the question should be, how many times have you fooled yourself into thinking that you love someone just so you can have a shag.my my, aren't you quite the bitter one? :p

I have and there is nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex. I do however feel that it is wrong to have sex if you know they are doing it because they love you and you don't love them.

I have and there is nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex. I do however feel that it is wrong to have sex if you know they are doing it because they love you and you don't love them.
Now that would be a filthy feeling.

I don't love my hand but I have sex with it frequently

Sex used to be a sacred act between two people who loved each other. Now a days it means nothing. What a Brave New World we live in.

to me, the only thing this poll shows is that guys outnumber girls by about 4 to 1 on this site.

Sex used to be a sacred act between two people who loved each other. Now a days it means nothing. What a Brave New World we live in.

What? Recreational sex which pleases both sides involved is not a bad thing.

I'd have to like somebody's personality to have sex with them. I can't really say whether I would have to love somebody to have sex, though...love's quite a subjective concept.

What? Recreational sex which pleases both sides involved is not a bad thing.

It is a bad thing. Bad for the parties involved that is. Sex with many partners is nowhere near a pleasurable as sex with one single soul mate. If you only have sex with one person all of your life then each time you do it becomes so much more special. With many people it'll give you instantaneous relief. With one person you get emotional pleasure beyond any physical sensations.

I wouldn't now because I've been in a relationship nearly five years and I'm not going to wreck that, but if I were single, yes, I'd have sex with someone I didn't love. Hell, I've had sex with people I didn't even particularly like before.

It is a bad thing. Bad for the parties involved that is. Sex with many partners is nowhere near a pleasurable as sex with one single soul mate. If you only have sex with one person all of your life then each time you do it becomes so much more special. With many people it'll give you instantaneous relief. With one person you get emotional pleasure beyond any physical sensations.

I'm female and from what I can gather I'm a damn sight older than any of you and, hey, how do you know it's a bad thing? Every tried it? Sex with an attractive (in whatever sense) can be great fun, warm on a cold night, a good way to get a free breakfast (not necessarily for yourself - you have to play your cards right), and is totally different to making love. Believe it or not, Commie Catholics, I've been there, too. At the moment I'm celibate and have been by choice for some time and it's a pretty good place to be as well. At least I don't have to cook anyone's breakfast.

Sex is 10% physical and 90% emotional, why go for the base line 1/10 when your hand would suffice? In addition to that, sex, no matter how casual it is, almost always has a lot of strings attached. A quick fuck can get you into a really screwed up relationship that you most likely don't want to be in, especially if your partner is that clingy, emotionally shallow type. You know, the kind that is fairly easy to get a fuck from?

Would I have sex with a person I care about but don't intend to spend the rest of my life with? Most likely. Would I fuck someone I hardly knew, just for the sake of fucking? Certainly not. Bottom line is that making love is one of the most fulfilling things you will do in life. Personally I'm going to shoot for that.

Sex is 10% physical and 90% emotional, why go for the base line 1/10 when your hand would suffice? In addition to that, sex, no matter how casual it is, almost always has a lot of strings attached. A quick fuck can get you into a really screwed up relationship that you most likely don't want to be in, especially if your partner is that clingy, emotionally shallow type. You know, the kind that is fairly easy to get a fuck from?

Would I have sex with a person I care about but don't intend to spend the rest of my life with? Most likely. Would I fuck someone I hardly knew, just for the sake of fucking? Certainly not. Bottom line is that making love is one of the most fulfilling things you will do in life. Personally I'm going to shoot for that.amen, brotha! (or sista? :p )

Dnhah, I put no. As in male, no. Not that I'm in any position to judge...

If I was single I would have no problem doing it. If you have the chance to have a nice time why not take it? So long as both are on the same level in the "relationship" I don't see the problem...

my my, aren't you quite the bitter one? :p

not bitter, just that everyone seems so lily-white, virginal and compltely detached from reality on this thing. :)

ahhhhh drunken one night stands. Gotta love em.

ahhhhh drunken one night stands. Gotta love em.

Abso-bleedin'-lutely. :D
I'm married now and have made my promises to be monogamous but boy, I sure miss the chance to shop around and have some fun! My vote was, I'm female and I would, because I have and it hasn't made me a bad person. :) :) :) :)

Would you have sex with someone you do not love?
Well, my 3rd thread about this topis today, :rolleyes: Im really wrecked.
But just try to verify some prejudice.
Since I'm assuming you mean "romantic love," I have to say yes, because I have had sex with women I didn't "love" many, many times. If you broaden your definition of "love" to include lust, the number decreases by several orders of magnitude. :)

Abso-bleedin'-lutely. :D
I'm married now and have made my promises to be monogamous but boy, I sure miss the chance to shop around and have some fun! My vote was, I'm female and I would, because I have and it hasn't made me a bad person. :) :) :) :)
Ah! A woman of taste, breeding and honesty! I admire that! :D

I would have to love someone I had sex with, casual sex, as much as watching porn and thinking about being in an orgy or such turns me on, would actually hold very little appeal to me in reality. If I feel nothing for someone, I'm not about to use them when my hand can accomplish pretty much the same thing without the risk of disease, pregnancy, hurt feelings, or other unexpected consequences.

But, as of now, there's only one girl I truly want to have sex with, and it's the same girl I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with, unfortunately, that might not happen, but I'm still hoping she's just scared of commitment and will come around eventually. Meanwhile, there's another girl I know who's straight up told me she wants to get laid, and I've seriously considered it, but I just can't do it if I still have a chance to spend the rest of my life with the one girl, especially considering that with her, it'd be the first time for the both of us and we'd fully intend to raise a family together (we had even picked out names for our first child of each sex before she called the whole thing off, and just recently, months after she did, she complained about the spelling of our daughter's middle name, deciding that Faelan was poopy and she preferred the original spelling of Faolan, giving me some hope that our relationship isn't quite as over as she claimed it was).

I would have to love someone I had sex with, casual sex, as much as watching porn and thinking about being in an orgy or such turns me on, would actually hold very little appeal to me in reality. If I feel nothing for someone, I'm not about to use them when my hand can accomplish pretty much the same thing without the risk of disease, pregnancy, hurt feelings, or other unexpected consequences.

But, as of now, there's only one girl I truly want to have sex with, and it's the same girl I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with, unfortunately, that might not happen, but I'm still hoping she's just scared of commitment and will come around eventually. Meanwhile, there's another girl I know who's straight up told me she wants to get laid, and I've seriously considered it, but I just can't do it if I still have a chance to spend the rest of my life with the one girl, especially considering that with her, it'd be the first time for the both of us and we'd fully intend to raise a family together (we had even picked out names for our first child of each sex before she called the whole thing off, and just recently, months after she did, she complained about the spelling of our daughter's middle name, deciding that Faelan was poopy and she preferred the original spelling of Faolan, giving me some hope that our relationship isn't quite as over as she claimed it was).

eh?

Sex used to be a sacred act between two people who loved each other. Now a days it means nothing. What a Brave New World we live in.

Sex has always been for different reasons since the dawn of time, not just because of 'love'.

Not anymore.The sad part it may be a few years without some good old "get down,get down." If he loves me though,sure

No, but that's because the only reason I'd actually have sex would be if someone I loved really wanted to. You know, to please them.

Let me get my stereotypes straight here:

1. Men will often have sex with someone who doesn't love them, but women won't.

The poll is divided for the women and the quote I posted was said by a woman. So the stereotype is not really true.

Bottom line is that making love is one of the most fulfilling things you will do in life. Personally I'm going to shoot for that.
Where does the poll say that you have to choose between sex with love and sex without it?

Let me get my stereotypes straight here:

1. Men will often have sex with someone who doesn't love them, but women won't.

2. Women are much better than men at sensing people's emotions.

There's something that doesn't quite add up here, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
I think this is a brilliant observation - it had me laughing for a good five minutes straight. I only wish the people who believe both those sterotypes (and I've met plenty) would give this a little thought. :D

eh?
Sorry, to dumb it down: Casual, meaningless sex to me doesn't even begin to compare to being with the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I'd rather just continue masterbating while thinking about casual, meaningless sex until I can win that person back, or find another to take her place if she won't reconsider her ending our relationship.

I'm surprised no asexual people have posted. I know there are a few here.

I'm surprised no asexual people have posted. I know there are a few here.
Well, I'm not really asexual, but close, so I'll post. :D

I'm male, and voted that I would have sex with someone I didn't love, but that's only really true in a strict technical sense. In practice, I think that nine times out of ten (probably more like 99 out of 100) casual sex is more trouble than it's worth, and I have trouble coming up with a believable scenario where I would actually have sex with someone I didn't love.

Also, I don't really subscribe to the belief that you need to find love to be happy, and I think the surest way to be unhappy is to make your happiness depend on finding love. As a result, I am effectively asexual, and pretty happy with it. I think our culture puts way too much emphasis on sex, and I think that, though casual sex brings momentary pleasure, in the long run most people would be happier if they abstained from it.

Sex used to be a sacred act between two people who loved each other. Now a days it means nothing. What a Brave New World we live in.

When was it?
As far as I now it was considered a duty of a woman to sleep with her husband.
A sacred act this is.

to me, the only thing this poll shows is that guys outnumber girls by about 4 to 1 on this site.

Why?
No other result for you? Mhhh... for me there is one. But maybe im too stupid!

I'd rather masturbate, i'll achieve the same result then. So the answer would be no.

...

Maybe. :p

I'm surprised no asexual people have posted. I know there are a few here.

Oh no, I forgot about them,
but logically they could vote "I would not" without being wrong. :)

I'd rather masturbate, i'll achieve the same result then.
I dont think so, I once had something with a girl i had never met before (but unfortunately afterwards :( ) one could maybe consider sex. It somehow was much more fun. Ok, she somehow did not like me anymore afterwards (I dunno why because it was her who started the whole thing), but she lives 5000 km (about 3000 miles) from here and we would not have to do anything with each other anyway.

I'm surprised no asexual people have posted. I know there are a few here.

*raises hand* I posted previously. Though I didn't say outright that I was nonsexual.

Love and sex are just there to hold you back! Haha, not that I'm complaining... But I really don't see what the whole fuss about sex is anyways. If it becomes the only focus for your life, what else would you have to show for yourself?

If it becomes the only focus for your life, what else would you have to show for yourself?

Well perfectly right:
If it is the only focus for your life, it is ... your only focus.

Yes, I would. In fact, I have.

But I have to at least like the person(s), I wouldn't have sex with somebody I don't care about.

Sex with love is a completely different matter, but sex without love can be just fun...

Wow, now it is almost 1:1 for woman, in the beginnung it was 1:4

i would only have sex with some1 i was married to...premarital sex sickens me...just like porno...

My answer is no.

premarital sex sickens me...just like porno...

Do you mean "it sickens you just as porno does" or "it is just like porno and therefore sickens you"?
If any of those: How can you know if you never tried?

Do you mean "it sickens you just as porno does" or "it is just like porno and therefore sickens you"?
If any of those: How can you know if you never tried?

I think he means the idea of premarital sex sickens him.

I could and have had sex with someone I didn't love. I'm in a monogamous relationship now, but if I weren't, I could easily be "friends with benefits" with someone. I wouldn't, however, ever have sex with someone I had no intention of ever seeing again.

I could and have had sex with someone I didn't love. I'm in a monogamous relationship now, but if I weren't, I could easily be "friends with benefits" with someone. I wouldn't, however, ever have sex with someone I had no intention of ever seeing again.

"friends with benefits"? never heard about that.
Isnt that likely to destroy the friendship? (I dont know, never tried it.)

Would you have sex with someone you do not love?
Well, my 3rd thread about this topis today, :rolleyes: Im really wrecked.
But just try to verify some prejudice.

Sex without love is just complicated masturbation. As a man, I have two working hands that don't have to be bribed if my Fiance isn't interested tonight.
Those are a lot less-risky than picking up a stranger in a bar for a night of...well... like I said, complicated masturbation.

Sex with love is an experience that goes well-beyond the physical sensations.

I dont think so, I once had something with a girl i had never met before (but unfortunately afterwards :( ) one could maybe consider sex. It somehow was much more fun. Ok, she somehow did not like me anymore afterwards (I dunno why because it was her who started the whole thing), but she lives 5000 km (about 3000 miles) from here and we would not have to do anything with each other anyway.

Heh, well, OK, it's a bit better than masturbation enjoyment wise, but then you have to deal with the emotional baggage that comes with it. No thanks.

I've had opportunities for random sex before. I don't find the idea is something that really gets me riled up. Or maybe I just have high standards. Ehh. *shrugs*

Heh, well, OK, it's a bit better than masturbation enjoyment wise, but then you have to deal with the emotional baggage that comes with it. No thanks.


It was not all too much of emotional baggage for me. Maybe it was for her, because later I got to that in Chile (thats were she came from) all women are supposed to be virgins before marriage (though it definitely did not go that far, i even doubt whether one could call it sex, but maybe she thought "I should not have done that" nevertheless).

If I was a lonely loser desperate for pleasure, maybe. It certainly wouldn't be the same as having sex with somebody I love.

I will never have sex with anyone besides my wife. I love her, so chose option four.
(Actually not too difficult a decision really.....my wife is gorgeous!)

While sex with someone you love is great (usually) I'm not averse to a bit of fun with someone I'm not in love with. In fact two of the three major relationships of my life so far have involved sex long before the love issue ever came up.

Yes. I have & I would, but it's much better with someone you care about.

Sex used to be a sacred act between two people who loved each other. Now a days it means nothing. What a Brave New World we live in.
Used to? When? When you first start reading harlequin novels?

Sorry to break your dreams but people have always had sex just for the sake of it.

Well, I've never been in love and... yup, I'll be answering 'yes' to that question then.

"friends with benefits"? never heard about that.
Isnt that likely to destroy the friendship? (I dont know, never tried it.)
Naah. I don't think the "friendship" is that deep and meaningful to begin with. You just have a regular sex partner who's also a good company. It's better than celibacy or having sex with strangers (which can even be dangerous).

Naah. I don't think the "friendship" is that deep and meaningful to begin with. You just have a regular sex partner who's also a good company. It's better than celibacy or having sex with strangers (which can even be dangerous).
Absolutely. It's not something that's easy to find, but very nice if you do manage to. In my experience, you're not going to be in such a position with one of your closest friends.. Too confusing.

Another question to all who answered NO. How many people you've loved? I noticed that there are several persons who have loved only one person (good for them) but I have a feeling that people do lie to themselves in relationships. Especially when they are younger. They think they are in love but after several years they may realise it wasn't love. I've been in 4 relationships which have lasted over a year (don't even count the shorter ones) and only now (well few years ago) I realised that I have really loved only 2 of them.

Absolutely. It's not something that's easy to find, but very nice if you do manage to. In my experience, you're not going to be in such a position with one of your closest friends.. Too confusing.
Yep, I'd never let that happen. or...at least it would lead to a very serious relationship. Casual sex with your best friend...ewwww. Horrible idea.

Another question to all who answered NO. How many people you've loved? I noticed that there are several persons who have loved only one person (good for them) but I have a feeling that people do lie to themselves in relationships. Especially when they are younger. They think they are in love but after several years they may realise it wasn't love. I've been in 4 relationships which have lasted over a year (don't even count the shorter ones) and only now (well few years ago) I realised that I have really loved only 2 of them.
I've had a rather firm idea of what I believe love is (best described as selfless devotion), and can honestly say, it's rather easy for me to love someone, which is why I've never gone out of my way to try to start a relationship, let alone to have sex with someone, because that wouldn't be very selfless at all. I want to be there to please them, not to use them to please myself...

Sex used to be a sacred act between two people who loved each other. Now a days it means nothing. What a Brave New World we live in.

hmmm, I will beg to differ. That point of view as pertaining to the christian world came about by the church in the middle ages as a way to combat the rampant spread of venereal diseases flurishing in europe.

Then there are other cultures, like the chinese or japanese, to consider, where it is socially acceptable to seek sexual favours from professionals.

Also in ancient Babylon, the temple of Ishtar was the home of organized, religious prostitution.

And how about Thomas Jefferson and his slave children? Without a doubt he was a dovout christian and married, but it is fact that he like to 'get around'

yes, im sick of being loves bitch

It is a bad thing. Bad for the parties involved that is. Sex with many partners is nowhere near a pleasurable as sex with one single soul mate. If you only have sex with one person all of your life then each time you do it becomes so much more special. With many people it'll give you instantaneous relief. With one person you get emotional pleasure beyond any physical sensations.


And what, pray, is wrong with a little instant gratification until such a time when you have found The One?

My answer was No but I'm not in a position to really argue over it,So I have no problem with others doing it,It's they're choice completely,And I could easily see benefits from it...But I really wish people wouldn't use this excuse so much (Not that Im saying people in here have,just others i know) "The rest of the world is doing it,Why shouldn't I?" or "I'm just being real and realizing it's reality"...And then they try to tell me off for having not living in "reality" or "the rest of the world"

Just because you have given up any hope that this world is anything but a diseased,black hearted,sex minded,money driven,drug addicted world,Does not mean I have...

Like I said before this comment is not put towards anyone on here,So far I think everyone that has commented seems to have been pretty intelligent about it,And had good reasons...But I know this WILL offend someone anyway,So I apologize ahead of time and no offense was intended...

P.S. This can be put towards people that use that reason for drugs or stealing as well

My answer was No but I'm not in a position to really argue over it,So I have no problem with others doing it,It's they're choice completely,And I could easily see benefits from it...But I really wish people wouldn't use this excuse so much (Not that Im saying people in here have,just others i know) "The rest of the world is doing it,Why shouldn't I?" or "I'm just being real and realizing it's reality"...And then they try to tell me off for having not living in "reality" or "the rest of the world"

Just because you have given up any hope that this world is anything but a diseased,black hearted,sex minded,money driven,drug addicted world,Does not mean I have...

P.S. This can be put towards people that use that reason for drugs or stealing as well

I have not read every post in this thread, but none of the posts that I have read used the justification that "everyone else is doing it, so why shouldn't I"

What there has been is an argument that sex is part of our natural behaviour, it has been since we stopped being single cell asexual reproducers, and there is nothing that ties sex to a specific emotional response that we call love. Sex without loive is not evil, it is not bad, it is natural, it is normal.

Now this does not apply to drug use or theft.
OK Sex feels good (when done well) as do some drugs. But drugs have consequences that sex does not have to have. It is possible to have safe sex, it is possible to avoid conception. With drugs you are risking addiction. Additionally sex is not illegal. There is no social convention you are breaking. (Adultery may be illegal in some places, but not all sex is adultery) Drug use and theft are illegal in most places. The comparison is not valid.

My answer was No but I'm not in a position to really argue over it,So I have no problem with others doing it,It's they're choice completely,And I could easily see benefits from it...But I really wish people wouldn't use this excuse so much (Not that Im saying people in here have,just others i know) "The rest of the world is doing it,Why shouldn't I?" or "I'm just being real and realizing it's reality"...And then they try to tell me off for having not living in "reality" or "the rest of the world"


Why should anyone apologize for having sex with someone they do not love?
Maybe if they they know the other one loved them or if they act irresponsibly by having sex with just anyone without proper protection. But basically there is no need for an excuse.

I am one of the now 19 women who will do it without love.

I've ONLY had sex with people i don't love. Can anyone beat that?

I've ONLY had sex with people i don't love. Can anyone beat that?
Same here. I've been in love once and I didn't have sex with that guy ironically.

Recently a German comedian (and football commentator) said something like:
"Men always want more sex,
women always want more money.
Well, there really has to be some sort of solution to that..."

Hm...

Same here. I've been in love once and I didn't have sex with that guy ironically.
Rather platonic love? Or did it just not work out?

Rather platonic love? Or did it just not work out?
It just didn't work out. It was an odd relationship.

While I answered that I would, I'm not entirely sure, having not actually had sex at all. I have a sneaking suspicion that I won't make up my mind about this until right before.

But then, how do you define love? Is this love in the traditional sense, that all-consuming emotion that causes longing and wanting to be with someone "until death do you part?"

Or is it the far broader description- respecting someone, caring for them? While I answered that I would have sex with someone I did not love, I meant in the traditional sense. I doubt that I would have sex with someone who I didn't care about, although the case isn't closed, and my alchohol tolerance has not been fully explored.

Of course I would. Not right now, as I feel I am not mature enough to make that decision for myself, but as an adult, most definitely.

Same here. I've been in love once and I didn't have sex with that guy ironically.

No way, me too! We must be soul mates.

there arn't many females on this site

For the NTH f**king time, the word is WOMEN! When you say "females", you sound like a bleeding ZOOLOGIST!

For the NTH f**king time, the word is WOMEN! When you say "females", you sound like a bleeding ZOOLOGIST!
They are synonyms. Look it up.

No way, me too! We must be soul mates.
lol. Mabye, maybe not.

I shouldn't, because fundamentally it's stupid and divergent from what sex really is about, but I'm male and I do.

I shouldn't, because fundamentally it's stupid and divergent from what sex really is about, but I'm male and I do.

It is against what YOU THINK sex really is about.

All this proves is more men than women ADMIT to wanting sex with someone then don't love - usually women lie about these things (from experience!).

Having said that, I don't need to have sex with anyone I don't love because no-one could ever do it as good as my girlfriend.

I wouldn't. Simple as that.

Done it in the past and I'll happily do it again. Rarely do I find a guy worth the energy of an emotional committment, so I see absolutly no need to starve myself of sex simply because there's no love.

Sex is like eating/sleeping...something organisms do 'cause they have to. I have no qualms about recreational sex. Beats masturbation.

All this proves is more men than women ADMIT to wanting sex with someone then don't love - usually women lie about these things (from experience!).

This isnt even a public poll.
Or do you think women dont even KNOW what they really want.

Sex is like eating/sleeping...something organisms do 'cause they have to.

Er, no.
Wont die from not doing it. (I hope ;) .)

Er, no.
Wont die from not doing it. (I hope ;) .)
Well, not necessarily "die" from lack of it, but it does extend your life, especially for males. :)

Well, not necessarily "die" from lack of it, but it does extend your life, especially for males. :)

Er, monks have a higher life expectancy than an average man.

It is against what YOU THINK sex really is about.And what you think sex is about is better than what I think sex is about? There are opinions and then there's human nature. You may want to deny it and it may be convenient to but sex fullfills a specific role in our existence and if you hijack it away from that role that's just some bad mojo, dude.

And what you think sex is about is better than what I think sex is about? There are opinions and then there's human nature. You may want to deny it and it may be convenient to but sex fullfills a specific role in our existence and if you hijack it away from that role that's just some bad mojo, dude.


Yep, sex is about spreading your genes :D

And what you think sex is about is better than what I think sex is about? There are opinions and then there's human nature. You may want to deny it and it may be convenient to but sex fullfills a specific role in our existence and if you hijack it away from that role that's just some bad mojo, dude.
What would that specific role be?

What would that specific role be?
I'm pretty sure they're referring to the baby makin' role.

Would you have sex with someone you do not love?
Well, my 3rd thread about this topis today, :rolleyes: Im really wrecked.
But just try to verify some prejudice.
situations arent as black and white.

I know so many of you will say youd never whore yourself off if you had no money, but I know dam well I would. And all the kids that say 'i wouldnt do that for a million dollars' have never seriously considered how much a million dollars really is.

Any way, I would if it came down to it.

I'm pretty sure they're referring to the baby makin' role.
Maybe, but this argument is flawed anyway:
Saying that having sex without the intention of reproducing is wrong, because sex (from the evolutionary/biological point of view) exists/"came into being" for reproduction, is the same as saying using your hand to operate a computer is wrong, because initally hands were for using primitve tools.
Neither is something not good because it is natural, nor vice versa.

situations arent as black and white.

I know so many of you will say youd never whore yourself off if you had no money, but I know dam well I would. And all the kids that say 'i wouldnt do that for a million dollars' have never seriously considered how much a million dollars really is.

Any way, I would if it came down to it.
1 Million Dollars is nothing 5 Million on the other hand....

Yes but only If i loved them!

situations arent as black and white.

I know so many of you will say youd never whore yourself off if you had no money, but I know dam well I would. And all the kids that say 'i wouldnt do that for a million dollars' have never seriously considered how much a million dollars really is.

Any way, I would if it came down to it.

The poll was not about "special circumstances", I hope most understood it as "would have sex just for fun" and not as "would have sex if I was shot and burned otherwise".

"friends with benefits"? never heard about that.
Isnt that likely to destroy the friendship? (I dont know, never tried it.)I suppose it could, but for many people it works well, as long as one isn't too much more emotionally attached than the other.

Sex is like eating/sleeping...something organisms do 'cause they have to. I have no qualms about recreational sex. Beats masturbation.I agree, I've always viewed having an orgasm as nothing more than a bodily function.

What would that specific role be?Yeah, baby makin', but also love strengthenin'. Sex is an ingredient in that beautiful and mysterious alchemy that is a loving relationship, and if you dissociate it from that purpose you lose what makes it so great. You just do.

Yeah, baby makin', but also love strengthenin'. Sex is an ingredient in that beautiful and mysterious alchemy that is a loving relationship, and if you dissociate it from that purpose you lose what makes it so great. You just do.

Baby making and strengthening are puposes of sex. But why do you deny having fun is? You really think you know what is good for somebody else? For example for someone who thinks having sex for just the sake of it is great?

Only if my girlfriend agreed on it... ;)

Having had sex without Love being present, I can say it was the most thoroughly unsatasfying thing I have experienced sexually.

Thanks, but no thanks.
Here's where we differ. I tend to think that having sex with Courtney Love present throughout would rate as one of the most unsatisfying and truly wretched experiences I could ever have.

But to each his own I guess.

Maybe, but this argument is flawed anyway:
Saying that having sex without the intention of reproducing is wrong, because sex (from the evolutionary/biological point of view) exists/"came into being" for reproduction, is the same as saying using your hand to operate a computer is wrong, because initally hands were for using primitve tools.
Neither is something not good because it is natural, nor vice versa.
Good point but I never disagreed with you : )

And having sex for the sake of pleasure(and nothing else!) is awesome.

Er, monks have a higher life expectancy than an average man.

yeah, but tax inspectors have a higher life expectance than coal miners, and I doubt that this has much to do with the amount of sex they're getting

I think the question here is too simplified, I find any answer I would give subject to qualifiers. The issue is more complex from my perspective.

I've been around the block enough times to have peeked down all the alleys. While I can't say honestly I wouldn't have sex with someone I didn't love, there has to be a bit of affection at least. And the deeper the emotional attachment the more fulfilling the experiance, at least for me.

Sex fosters an emotional attachment, I think it's designed to. I know I can't help but feel some affection for all of the lovers I ever had, even those relationships that ended badly or the few one night stands. When I think of the most satisfying sex I ever had it coincides with the most intense emotional relationships. Somehow I don't think that's a coincidence.

Good point but I never disagreed with you : )

I know :) ,
but Venus Mound did. This answer rather was for him.

yeah, but tax inspectors have a higher life expectance than coal miners, and I doubt that this has much to do with the amount of sex they're getting

Someone claimed sex was somethings "Oranisms have to do", and Eutrusca claimed it "enhanced life". So I wanted to stress it does not enhance life temporarily.

Just food for thought.

Has anyone noticed the Male-Female ratio for this topic? Holy hell! What does that say about these forums?

Just food for thought.

Has anyone noticed the Male-Female ratio for this topic? Holy hell! What does that say about these forums?
I think it mostly says that there are far more geeky males than females.

Just food for thought.

Has anyone noticed the Male-Female ratio for this topic? Holy hell! What does that say about these forums?

Do you know a forum where it is different?

Do you know a forum where it is different?
I think these forums might have a slightly different ratio

http://www.midwiferytoday.com/forums/default.asp

im a male, and i would not have sex with someone i dont love. but i am also a christian, so that may explain it slightly

Why should anyone apologize for having sex with someone they do not love?
Maybe if they they know the other one loved them or if they act irresponsibly by having sex with just anyone without proper protection. But basically there is no need for an excuse.

I think people mistook what I said...Next time Im using hand puppets...

interesting. for women, the ratio of would to wouldn't is 3:2 whereas for men its 2:1

interesting. for women, the ratio of would to wouldn't is 3:2 whereas for men its 2:1
I blame society.

interesting. for women, the ratio of would to wouldn't is 3:2 whereas for men its 2:1
Slightly less than 2:1, plus who says people are telling the truth on this? Could be a lot more people on both sides who would have sex with someone they do not love.

Sex is a fun and pleasant activity. :)

But nothing comes close to sex with someone you deeply and truly care for.

Agree, although the women's yes and no numbers were closer than I would have thought

Interesting that 60% of women would, and 65% of men would.
That means that the genders are closer than many thought, if representative of all sexually active people.
Now, stereotypically male question
Where can I find this 60% of women who will :) .
bars is obvious one, any other suggestions :D

Now, stereotypically male question
Where can I find this 60% of women who will :) .
bars is obvious one, any other suggestions :D

My friends and I hang out at an awesome live music venue mostly.

Hey, if we all had to wait until we fell inlove to have sex, we'd be waiting a while.

I am male, and I don't understand how anyone could have sex with someone they did not love. :confused:

Hey, if we all had to wait until we fell inlove to have sex, we'd be waiting a while.

and the problem with this is...?

I am male, and I don't understand how anyone could have sex with someone they did not love. :confused:
Ever been drunken?

Agree, although the women's yes and no numbers were closer than I would have thought

Why would you think the numbers would be any different for men and women? Another stereotypical falacy bites the dust. ;)

I so totally have and would again

I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 34 years. We were virgins when we married, and we have not had sex with anyone but each other.

I'm not pushing an agenda here...just responding with data.

For what it's worth: I can say that there is an amazing sense of freedom (particularly freedom from fear and worry) and security in our relationship.

I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 34 years. We were virgins when we married, and we have not had sex with anyone but each other.

I'm not pushing an agenda here...just responding with data.

For what it's worth: I can say that there is an amazing sense of freedom (particularly freedom from fear and worry) and security in our relationship.

If I did something alike, I guess I would have the feeling that I don't know whether I miss something.

If I did something alike, I guess I would have the feeling that I don't know whether I miss something. Miss something like what? It's better with someone you love so I'm told, so what would you be missing?

To quote a certain mr. kilmister: "The answer to life's mystery is simple and direct; sex and death."


Lemmy is God.

Miss something like what? It's better with someone you love so I'm told, so what would you be missing?
Mhhh... I think I would like to fall in love more than once, and moreover: How can you really know whether s/b and you are perfect for each other, if you do not know what it is like with s/o else?

I'd be lying if I said I never have random one-night stands. But it's not something I actively seek out. Sometimes hormones just cloud my judgement.
Sex is brilliant. One of my favorite past-times. But sexual encounters between strangers often get messed up. In my experience, one of the involved almost always wants more than just a one-night stand. Hence misery is born, and we all know misery is the path to the dark side, and infringing on Mr. Lucas' trademarks is a federal crime... But I digress...

Anyway, I've been lucky enough to have a couple of great friends, with whom I've had great sex. That's the scenario I prefer, because all involved know exactly what to expect & hope for.

No, I don't think I would do that. Which is part of my problem.

If I did something alike, I guess I would have the feeling that I don't know whether I miss something.


But, I know what I'm missing: fear, anxiety, guilt, STD's, insecurity....

Even if I'm "not getting" (as opposed to "missing") the temporary physical pleasure and thrill of sex with multiple partners, I'm confident that the deep joy of chasing my long-time sweetheart and the physical and emotional pleasure of guiltless and anxiety-free sex, far exceeds and is superior to chasing wild tail.

I'm not claiming to be a *saint here -- just explaining my answer relating to fun/risk/fear/danger/joy, etc....

(*Although I do eat greasy cheeseburgers, I don't shoot heroin...)

Sex used to be a sacred act between two people who loved each other. Now a days it means nothing. What a Brave New World we live in.

Oh how I miss those days when I mistook blue balls for heart felt emotion.

It is a bad thing. Bad for the parties involved that is. Sex with many partners is nowhere near a pleasurable as sex with one single soul mate. If you only have sex with one person all of your life then each time you do it becomes so much more special. With many people it'll give you instantaneous relief. With one person you get emotional pleasure beyond any physical sensations.

You want a spiritual revelation? Try throwing drugs and hot tub into the mix. :D

No, but that's because the only reason I'd actually have sex would be if someone I loved really wanted to. You know, to please them.

You find yourself a good lover I guarantee you'll be singing a different song the next morning.

Love and sex are just there to hold you back! Haha, not that I'm complaining... But I really don't see what the whole fuss about sex is anyways. If it becomes the only focus for your life, what else would you have to show for yourself?

A big grin :D

I read through most of the posts and I think what a lot of people who don't approve of premarital sex are neglecting is the fact that casual sex isn't necessarily a selfish act. By sharing yourself with someone and expressing your desire to be with that person you are making them feel beautiful and desireable. Casual sex is not strictly physical. I've laughed and learned a great deal about human nature from spending an evening with a stranger and at times I'll find myself sitting on a bus or shaving, thinking about the women I've known, and I'll look up and catch my reflection in the glass. The smile on my face tells me I'll be carrying these memories for the rest of my life. And what magnificiently bold and beautiful memories they are.