Nargopia
25-05-2005, 07:17
So I was cleaning my room today, and I came across this story I wrote back in 5th grade. I thought, "Surely I can't keep this literary masterpiece all to myself, it just wouldn't be right!" So I've decided to share it with all of you, word for word.
THE JOURNEY THROUGH THE PORTAL
by David Cylkowski, Illustrated by David Cylkowski
I dedicate this book to my old friends, Mikey and Glenn, who had the craziest ideas ever thought up by a human being.
It all started one summer day when my friends Glenn and Mikey were walking through the woods with me. Then all of a sudden Mikey stopped. I bumped into him.
Oh yeah, just to get it straightened out, Mikey's hair has been cut in a buzz, I have a flat top, and Glenn's looks a little like Elvis Presley's hair, but back to the story.
"Ouch! What did..." I never finished my sentence. I knew exactly what my friends and I were staring at. "It's that portal thing!" Glenn exclaimed.
He was right. It was a blue portal, which had been sighted a couple of days ago in the great Redwood Forest, wherever that is. You can probably tell I hate Geography. Anyway, back to the portal. I wonder what it was doing here, at Rammstein Air Force Base, Rheinland Pfaltz (that's rye-nland faltz)? In general, Germany, Europe?
"Let's go through it!" yelled Mikey. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR CRAZY MIND?!?" I shrieked at him. "A man went through last Thursday, and he hasn't been seen since!"
Glenn finally spoke: "I wish I brought my videocam."
"Yeah, we would be the richest kids in town," Mikey added. We edged a few inches closer to the blue, shape-changing portal.
"Okay, you win," I gave up. "Glenn, go get the rain jackets, goggles, and stretchy gloves out of your backpack."
"YES!!!" my friends yelled at each other. They got so excited they started fighting with each other, but they bumped me and sent me flying into the portal!
"Wait David!" shouted Glenn as he dived into the portal after me. Then came Mikey. He landed with a thud in an unfamiliar place.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "Shhh!" we shushed him. "Something's different," Glenn observed.
"Well, duh... we're in a different world or something!" I yelled at him. "It's creepy in this weird place," Mikey complained. I think I decided right then and there that Mikey didn't like outdoor adventures.
Then all of a sudden a Three-Eyed-X-Force monster jumped out at us! I knew it was X-Force because I have a whole collection of X-Force comics. Glenn let out a scream high enough to shatter paper! Talk about an earache!
The monster covered its spiral-shaped ears, giving me a chance to get the toy laserguns we always carry with us for good luck from my backpack.
"What?!?" Mikey screamed at me. "How can those things help us!?!"
"Trust him," Glenn said.
"Right," I added. "Have I ever, ever steered you wrong? Except for letting you talk me into this, I mean."
I zapped the monster and he neutralized! "All right David! Way to go!" my friends congratulated me.
We ran out of there as fast as we could, only to run into a group of purple tentacles rising up from a pit of hot, green tar. Ewwww!
"This place is tooooo weird!" Glenn yelled out in fright. (He probably doesn't like outdoor adventures either.)
"Hey Mikey, gimme a piece of your bubble gum," I said. "In fact, give me all you have." I had a trick up my slippery sleeve.
"What?!?" Mikey yelled at me (he must like yelling, considering he does it all the time). "This is no time to turn into the world's best gum chewer! Besides, don't you even know how much I have?!?"
"No, I don't know and I don't care!" I responded. "Now gimme!"
"Okay, if you say so," said Mikey. He had TONS of it! Half a backpack full of bubble gum! I just could not believe it! He probably didn't want me to be the world's best gum chewer because he had the job! But who cared? All my mind was on was CHEWING. Pretty soon, I had a huge gum mound 3 feet wide, 3 and 3/4 feet tall, and 4 and 1/2 feet thick!
I managed to throw it at the tentacles at the same time they lunged at us! They missed! Which made them get hit with the bubble gum! They were stuck! They couldn't even move!
"YES!!! We did it! It worked! And hey, look, another portal!" Glenn shouted. We went through it and this time went right to that exact spot in the woods where we were before!
"Yes!" Glenn yelled. "We made it back! We're alive! ALIVE!!!!! Hahahahahaha!"
It was great! We all went around laughing, screaming, and yelling all at the same time!
"We made it back!" Mikey said. "DUH!!!" we both laughed at him.
Suddenly, I stopped. "Hey, do you guys know what?" I asked them. "No what?" they asked.
"I thought of a new motto when I zapped that weird monster:
Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust
Neither Mikey nor Glenn, David shall trust."
THE JOURNEY THROUGH THE PORTAL
by David Cylkowski, Illustrated by David Cylkowski
I dedicate this book to my old friends, Mikey and Glenn, who had the craziest ideas ever thought up by a human being.
It all started one summer day when my friends Glenn and Mikey were walking through the woods with me. Then all of a sudden Mikey stopped. I bumped into him.
Oh yeah, just to get it straightened out, Mikey's hair has been cut in a buzz, I have a flat top, and Glenn's looks a little like Elvis Presley's hair, but back to the story.
"Ouch! What did..." I never finished my sentence. I knew exactly what my friends and I were staring at. "It's that portal thing!" Glenn exclaimed.
He was right. It was a blue portal, which had been sighted a couple of days ago in the great Redwood Forest, wherever that is. You can probably tell I hate Geography. Anyway, back to the portal. I wonder what it was doing here, at Rammstein Air Force Base, Rheinland Pfaltz (that's rye-nland faltz)? In general, Germany, Europe?
"Let's go through it!" yelled Mikey. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR CRAZY MIND?!?" I shrieked at him. "A man went through last Thursday, and he hasn't been seen since!"
Glenn finally spoke: "I wish I brought my videocam."
"Yeah, we would be the richest kids in town," Mikey added. We edged a few inches closer to the blue, shape-changing portal.
"Okay, you win," I gave up. "Glenn, go get the rain jackets, goggles, and stretchy gloves out of your backpack."
"YES!!!" my friends yelled at each other. They got so excited they started fighting with each other, but they bumped me and sent me flying into the portal!
"Wait David!" shouted Glenn as he dived into the portal after me. Then came Mikey. He landed with a thud in an unfamiliar place.
"Ouch!" he yelled. "Shhh!" we shushed him. "Something's different," Glenn observed.
"Well, duh... we're in a different world or something!" I yelled at him. "It's creepy in this weird place," Mikey complained. I think I decided right then and there that Mikey didn't like outdoor adventures.
Then all of a sudden a Three-Eyed-X-Force monster jumped out at us! I knew it was X-Force because I have a whole collection of X-Force comics. Glenn let out a scream high enough to shatter paper! Talk about an earache!
The monster covered its spiral-shaped ears, giving me a chance to get the toy laserguns we always carry with us for good luck from my backpack.
"What?!?" Mikey screamed at me. "How can those things help us!?!"
"Trust him," Glenn said.
"Right," I added. "Have I ever, ever steered you wrong? Except for letting you talk me into this, I mean."
I zapped the monster and he neutralized! "All right David! Way to go!" my friends congratulated me.
We ran out of there as fast as we could, only to run into a group of purple tentacles rising up from a pit of hot, green tar. Ewwww!
"This place is tooooo weird!" Glenn yelled out in fright. (He probably doesn't like outdoor adventures either.)
"Hey Mikey, gimme a piece of your bubble gum," I said. "In fact, give me all you have." I had a trick up my slippery sleeve.
"What?!?" Mikey yelled at me (he must like yelling, considering he does it all the time). "This is no time to turn into the world's best gum chewer! Besides, don't you even know how much I have?!?"
"No, I don't know and I don't care!" I responded. "Now gimme!"
"Okay, if you say so," said Mikey. He had TONS of it! Half a backpack full of bubble gum! I just could not believe it! He probably didn't want me to be the world's best gum chewer because he had the job! But who cared? All my mind was on was CHEWING. Pretty soon, I had a huge gum mound 3 feet wide, 3 and 3/4 feet tall, and 4 and 1/2 feet thick!
I managed to throw it at the tentacles at the same time they lunged at us! They missed! Which made them get hit with the bubble gum! They were stuck! They couldn't even move!
"YES!!! We did it! It worked! And hey, look, another portal!" Glenn shouted. We went through it and this time went right to that exact spot in the woods where we were before!
"Yes!" Glenn yelled. "We made it back! We're alive! ALIVE!!!!! Hahahahahaha!"
It was great! We all went around laughing, screaming, and yelling all at the same time!
"We made it back!" Mikey said. "DUH!!!" we both laughed at him.
Suddenly, I stopped. "Hey, do you guys know what?" I asked them. "No what?" they asked.
"I thought of a new motto when I zapped that weird monster:
Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust
Neither Mikey nor Glenn, David shall trust."