NationStates Jolt Archive

Now, let's us all contribute to this. How do politicians think (if they do at all)?
Riddle me that.

Here are some basic guidelines.

Fact 1: Politicians judge programs based on their own interests not results.



Fact 2: Politicians will say anything, anytime if they believe it will further their ends.



Fact 3: Politicians will their own image above all else.



Fact 4: Politicians use [a shitload] codewords.

Now, let's us all contribute to this. How do politicians think (if they do at all)?
Riddle me that.I have a feeling that they think this way:

1) The politician is always right.

2) If the politician is wrong, refer to rule 1.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

I have a feeling that they think this way:

1) The politician is always right.

2) If the politician is wrong, refer to rule 1.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe
I forgot, the MOST important rule.

Money and votes.

Politicians are all good natured conciencious people - in the beggining. However it is a little known fact that a newly elected politician must undergoe a hazzing ritual which usually results in the death of a hooker (Condi Rice reputadely killed two of them). So for the course of their political carreers all politicians spend all of their time worrying that their hooker killing might be found out by the press - thus they make silly and stupid descissions.

<end communication>

Politicians are all good natured conciencious people - in the beggining. However it is a little known fact that a newly elected politician must undergoe a hazzing ritual which usually results in the death of a hooker (Condi Rice reputadely killed two of them). So for the course of their political carreers all politicians spend all of their time worrying that their hooker killing might be found out by the press - thus they make silly and stupid descissions.

<end communication>
Shhh, They will hear you.

I have a feeling that they think this way:

1) The politician is always right.

2) If the politician is wrong, refer to rule 1.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the UniverseWhoops, I shouldn't have said that. Now the government will be after me ;) and riots on Earth will kill 22 people and I'll have to retract what I said.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

Don't worry about it.

How do you keep a politician busy for hours?
See below

How do you keep a politician busy for hours?
See above

"How can I appeal both the working and middle classes? hmmmm- Ah, New Labour!"

Here are some basic guidelines.

Fact 1: Politicians judge programs based on their own interests not results.



Fact 2: Politicians will say anything, anytime if they believe it will further their ends.



Fact 3: Politicians will their own image above all else.



Fact 4: Politicians use [a shitload] codewords.

Fact 5: Kervoskia cannot speak basic english.

Fact 5: Kervoskia cannot speak basic english.Fact 6: Steel Butterfly is a truthful person.



~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

Fact 6: Steel Butterfly is a truthful person.
Fact 7: All your base are belong to us

Money and votes.

They are the same thing to a politician.

They like to follow one of several schools of thought...

#1 - The hardline religious Conservative.

These politcians pander to the grassroots of any country. They are the seemingly wholesome individuals that might go to the same church as you (or at least claim to be a member of). They also like to use buzz words like "sanctity of marriage", "family values"...

They are typically right wing, and they don't care for progressive legislations that mpose on the "right to life". But, they support the odd war and maybe capital punishment.

They are often found in the company of the bible, that while they don't follow it, they expect you to follow it.

#2 - The bleeding heart Liberal

These politicians arte the ones who are out to destroy family values, and are rampant with immoral thoughts and can't help but to be peace-loving people who believe that gay marriage won't hurt society. They believe in very progressive ideas that the rest of the world frowns upon as being too left wing.

Liberals can be found in church, though they might be the firsts to speak out against it, and are usually the more secular politicians who are ready to abolish capital punishment, but, will allow for the existance of abortion.

They have been known to hang out around StarBucks sipping their lowfat latte, talking about the latest changes to the stock market, and complaining about how the neo-cons are wrecking the economy, even though they might be well off.

#3 - The European Socialist

Legalised marijuana, gay marriage, anti-religous laws... and a whole lot of other stuff that pisses off the religious right of America is in the ideologies of these socialists. These politicians are progressive, though quite tax happy. If it mves, tax it! They claim that they are giving their people a better life. Sure, they're giving you various social services, but, your taxes have shot up through the roof, and the money in your wallet is STILL burning a hole in your pocket, but you can't complain because at least these politcians haven't ;ed you into a meaningless war and they arne't American.

#4 - The Dithering Hoser

Eh? so, this politician is as common as toast. They enjoy a good game of hockey. They may be diplomatic, but they are up on their dhildish and infantile insults that they can hurl at other parlimentarians during question period. Hey, it's what they were elected for!

And if a politician falls into this category, they are likely left-wing, and either an indecisive centrist, a spend-happy socialist or a separitist fanatic, clinging to dead ideals.

They are very good at putting bills on the table, but, passing them is another question.

#5 - The Tyrannical Psychotic Tinpot Two-bit Dictator

Uh...what can we say aout them that WON'T get us locked up? UH... Ok, so, they are cool. There, now I won't go to jail.

#6 - The Two-faced Soviet

They claim to be democratically progressive. They talk the talk, but, walking is out of the question. They have the keys to democracy and they sit in the left lane with both feet on the brake, ignoring the impatient honks from the cars behind them.

These politicians usually ally themselves with Conservatives.