NationStates Jolt Archive

OK, I don't wanna see any 'yo mamma' jokes. Whats the best one-liner/insult you got?

Mine is;

You're so ugly when you played in the sandbox the cat tried to cover you up.


Please limit posting to only one one-liner (whew!) per post. And no lifestories about how they made you cry, and this is an evil thread.

Danke.

The best insult is no insult at all.

OK, I don't wanna see any 'yo mamma' jokes. Whats the best one-liner/insult you got?

Mine is;

You're so ugly when you played in the sandbox the cat tried to cover you up.


Please limit posting to only one one-liner (whew!) per post. And no lifestories about how they made you cry, and this is an evil thread.

Danke.
(Context: from tech support, to a complete moron)
"I think you may be suffering from an ID-10.T (Read ID ten t) User Error."

When you were born I bet the doctor turned around and slapped your mother.

If my dog had your face, I'd shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards.

Your fat, I got a good diet for you- binomials and trinomials.

I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet.

You're so fat if I cut you gravy would pour out.

You remind me of this guy I know - except he has a human head.

Oh, man, I don't have that many insults.

Only this one: 'You're so VANILLA. Nice, but ultimately bland, boring and tasteless'

"Hail Prince of the obvious!"

and

"You are mentally damaged!"

You're so dumb you though a quaterback was a refund

F me till I cry

I'm afraid we'll have to stop now, I never get into a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

What is your major malfunction?

Congratulations! You're mediocre.

You're as left as a polar bear

"You wish you weren't ugly*, don't you..." (stupid also works here).

"You were so ugly the paedos wouldn't touch you."

"I thought I liked you, but it was only reflux."

Me? Sleep with you? Not while there're dogs in the street.

A woman to Winston Churchill

"If you were my husband I'd poison your soup!"

Winston's reply:

"If I were your husband I'd drink it!"

Eddie Irvine was an F1 driver who was a real character, and had a great skill for winding other drivers up (most notably where he grinned as he wound Ayrton Senna up so much after a race that Senna punched him)

Anyway, this is one great line he came out with when talking about another driver:

"I didn’t call him a fag, I said he should stop being a fag and worrying about what I say"

then when he had to go do a photoshoot... "Do I have to? Send out some f**ker in my helmet, they'll never know the difference"

when asked why Michael Schumacher had a strange shaped helmet, "Because he's German, he's got an odd shaped head"

I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around.

I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around.

Ahh, Full Metal Jacket, what a film :D

You're as ugly as the ripple on a slop bucket.

Yo're a misplaced c**shot.

You're as ignorant as the back of my balls, and all they've seen is sh**.

If I wanted an opinion, I'd ask someone with more than one braincell.

Thank you, Captain Obvious!

You desrve a medal. Hold still while I pin it through your chest.