NationStates Jolt Archive

The Religion Song

If you were a Jew
What would you do?
Would you say, "Hey cut my people some slack."?
But then out of spite,
Even though it's not right
You leave and eat fatback

If you were a Muslim
What would you say?
Would go sit on your mat to pray?
Praise be Allah, Allah be praised
May Israel to the ground be raised

(the next few verses are for Christianity)
Now, Christianity has many groups
Some are good and some are fruits
Take for example the Calvinists
On occassion they can be quite fatalist
The Mormons they don't put up a fight
They believed the Indians were first white

Now, the Catholics have that pope in Rome
That wears the funny hat
They have but one rule
If you want to be a Cat(holic)
Which is stated clearly , "Hey, if it is feels, don't do that!"

The Southern Baptists can be quite crazy
But don't get me wrong, I know they're not lazy
They work very hard and you can see them,
Bceause someone has to build those Creationist museums

Next I move on to the Hindus
Who are slightly more interesting than the Jews
They believe in many lives and deities
And don't make you pay any church fees

Now, lets talk about the atheists
They have no gods and are always pissed
They prod and poke beliefs with a big stick
They say,"shit doesn't just happen, its called logic."

Agnostics are a real fun bunch
they can't decide or make a hunch
"Is it God or is it Fate?"
We'll decide when we're dead,
though by then it might be too late.

Now look at Buddhists
they're a confused lot.
Is he fat and jolly, or thin and hot?
Is he a God or is he a man?
Should we be rich or beg with a can?
Oh give it all up for now and be done
We'll reincarnate next life and have some fun.

Then there are the Pagan fae,
the Wiccans who are out to play.
They sing and chant and dance in the buff
But don't mention Satan or they get in a huff.
Worship the Mother: in her glory as she inspires
with the elements of Earth, air, wind and fire.

*dances*

Maybe I should have made it longer.

You might as well.

the only thing that will work on NS, insulting everyone so noone thinks they are better off then anyone else ;)

cool song :)

the only thing that will work on NS, insulting everyone so noone thinks they are better off then anyone else ;)

cool song :)
I was going to put in agnostic and Buddhist, but I couldn't think of anything interesting.

You forgot about the Tink cultists.

You forgot about the Tink cultists.
I'll have to add them.

b-u-m-p

I'll have to add them.
they scare the bejeesus out of me

they scare the bejeesus out of me
What are their rituals?

That song's great. I wish I could imagine the tune correctly, but in my mind it was coinciding with Alkaline Trio singing about being killed and wrapped in a dirty sheet (in a surprisingly jubilant key, no less).

Loved the pictures you verbally painted, especially the Catholics (bet they'd never see that coming from a Catholic). Hit the nail right on the head in terms of stereotypes :p Kudos to you.

How about this: :)

Agnostics are a real fun bunch
they can't decide or make a hunch
"Is it God or is it Fate?"
We'll decide when we're dead,
though by then it might be too late.

Now look at Buddhists
they're a confused lot.
Is he fat and jolly, or thin and hot?
Is he a God or is he a man?
Should we be rich or beg with a can?
Oh give it all up for now and be done
We'll reincarnate next life and have some fun.

What are their rituals?
Dunno, I always leave the threads too quickly to find out. There are *gulp* fluffles.

Yech.

that's just lame.

How about this: :)

Agnostics are a real fun bunch
they can't decide or make a hunch
"Is it God or is it Fate?"
We'll decide when we're dead,
though by then it might be too late.

Now look at Buddhists
they're a confused lot.
Is he fat and jolly, or thin and hot?
Is he a God or is he a man?
Should we be rich or beg with a can?
Oh give it all up for now and be done
We'll reincarnate next life and have some fun.
I love it! Mind if I add it, you will receive credit?
The tune hm...try using the tune to the Philosophers Song by Monty Pytgon.

bump

that's just lame.

So are you, but you dont see us complaining.

I love it! Mind if I add it, you will receive credit?
The tune hm...try using the tune to the Philosophers Song by Monty Pytgon.

But of course :p Add away
Now...to the tune of python...hmmmmm

Siddartha Guatama was a real pissant who was very rarely stable
Martin Luther, Martin Luther was a boozy begger who could think you under the table
Pope John Paul could outconsume even St. Augustine
And the Dali Lama was a beery swine who was just as shlosed as Calvin

Yes, that has some real potential there. now the tune is stuck in my head and I have to put the tape in . sigh. :)

the athiest's verse needs some reworking.
the new agnostic's verse is perfect.

it always seems like there's over emphasis on christians, but that's just the way of things here in the west.

Oh, but you should put in something for the Wiccans or people who like to be called "Pagans" as though they were the only (or even primary) non-christian religeon in the world.

the athiest's verse needs some reworking.
the new agnostic's verse is perfect.

it always seems like there's over emphasis on christians, but that's just the way of things here in the west.

Oh, but you should put in something for the Wiccans or people who like to be called "Pagans" as though they were the only (or even primary) non-christian religeon in the world.
I'm having troube with the Wiccan verse, and I'm thinkig of a better atheist one.

very funny, but the metrum isn't right.

*shrug*

oh well

I dona know, I kind of like the Aethist verse... I like prodding at things with a big stick.

Wicca.....ok, how about this for a go...

Then there are the Pagan fae,
the Wiccans who are out to play.
They sing and chant and dance in the buff
But don't mention Satan or they get in a huff.
Worship the Mother: in her glory as she inspires
with the elements of Earth, air, wind and fire.

I dona know, I kind of like the Aethist verse... I like prodding at things with a big stick.

Wicca.....ok, how about this for a go...

Then there are the Pagan fae,
the Wiccans who are out to play.
They sing and chant and dance in the buff
But don't mention Satan or they get in a huff.
Worship the Mother: in her glory as she inspires
with the elements of Earth, air, wind and fire.
Kick ass! Its added.

of course for the atheist verse you could always have lines of silent dots followed by "what, there's nothing to sing about. There is no god. Don't you get in" then the sound effects of fading footsteps and a door slamming. :)