NationStates Jolt Archive

What is the funniest thing you've ever seen?

i can't really think of anything but my friend told me a story once that was pretty damn funny

Right, so i went down the park earlier on with some mates to have a smoke and a drink, and this guy had a girl on his lap and i could tell he wanted to do something with her. I was sitting on the grass next to the bench where they were having a smoke and he put his hand up her skirt. I was gonna shout "Get on mate" until i saw his hand come out the top of her skirt and he started putting his finger in her belly button! I laughed so much i cried, dribbled, bubbles came out of my nose, and my sides hurt. I couldn't breath afterwards. He got a bit pissed off and punched me in my mouth, but it was worth it to see something so fuckin' funny.I'm laughing still as i'm typeing this. It had to be the funniest thing i have, or will ever see.

way to many things to list

Well i just got back from casualty after my friend got her arm stuck in a radiator. That was funny in itself but throwing stuff at her for a while at the same time was good too

My friend was going down a hill really fast on his bike and wenk over a grass verge, he suddenly shot up into the air over the pavement then nosed dived into a hedge.

I was in my back yard with my friend, Justin. He was going to climb one of the trees, and I said "I don't know if that's such a good idea... It just rained two days ago." He said "Oh, come on. You know how much of a monkey I am!"... Well, he began to climb. But, half-way up, something happened.

He paused for a second, looked up, and screamed. He jumped out of the tree, and he had his mouth open... Yes, a bird crapped in his mouth. We ran to the side of the house to get the hose and wash it out... So gross, but so funny :p.

this scrawny little twerp nobody liked in school was often a little hyperactive. he was running down the English corridor one day, making an ass of himself for some reason, when one of the classroom doors in front of him started to open. he tried to run around it, narrowly missed it, but the pocket on his blazer hooked round the door knob and swung him right round - you could face slamming straight into the little glass window on the other side of the door :p
soooo many people were laughing their assess off at that cos it was pretty much the busiest place in the school:p

man he was lame :rolleyes:
i was one of the few people who tolerated him... so i ended up sharing a locker with him... that was fun :headbang:

A mate of mine still in his best shirt and jeans, pissed as fuck at 3am, sprinted for about 25 minutes to his exgfs house and knocked on her window babbling incohenrently. She cried, and either someone in her family or a neighbour called the cops because my mate ended up with several cuts and bruises as well as ruined clothes after escaping a police dog over the fences and through the gardens of neighbouring houses.

I was once staying at a friend of the family's and the guy had gone out drinking, the next morning he called after waking up in the driveway of a house he hadn't lived in for 20 years missing his shoes

Well first of all: mental pictures. They rock

but IRL.....errr....... oh. A friend of mine, moustache drawn on his face, marching with his right hand stretched out in front of 12 year old neo-nazis

12 year old neo-nazis
first of all: lol:p

second: 12 year old neo-nazis?? :confused:
shouldn't they be out playing pokemon and bayblade or some other shit, not prancing around in brown shirts loving it up to Hitler? :confused:

what is this world coming to... :(

first of all: lol:p

second: 12 year old neo-nazis?? :confused:
shouldn't they be out playing pokemon and bayblade or some other shit, not prancing around in brown shirts loving it up to Hitler? :confused:

what is this world coming to... :(
They are so stupid. Have you ever tried debating them? That's so funny. They are retarded :D

They are so stupid. Have you ever tried debating them? That's so funny. They are retarded :D
i bet they are:p

but seriously, that makes me sad :(

i bet they are:p

but seriously, that makes me sad :(
Me too. But I just laugh it off. They'll grow up eventually

Funniest thing i saw happen to a friend...hmmm...so so so so many to choose from...

so i will do one about me instead...

You ever seen Dumb and Dumber...where he gets his tougne stuck to the chair lift?

Well...

Sitting on a chair lift with my brother, I claimed that my tongue wouldn't get stuck to the steel as it wasn't cold enough.

My brother goes yes it will it -15C.

I'll prove you wrong, said I.

My brother as right...

I couldn't get it off though, so after breathings on it hoping it would warm the metal...didn't bloody work, i yanked my hea back and as I began to speak blood poured out of my mouth.

I had ripped a fair few layers of tongue off and as a consequence could not eat hot food for a week.

Idiot I am :rolleyes:

My friend was running down the hall while jump roping with her sweater one day and she didn't make it over and fell flat on her face onto the carpet.

Funniest thing i saw happen to a friend...hmmm...so so so so many to choose from...

so i will do one about me instead...

You ever seen Dumb and Dumber...where he gets his tougne stuck to the chair lift?

Well...

Sitting on a chair lift with my brother, I claimed that my tongue wouldn't get stuck to the steel as it wasn't cold enough.

My brother goes yes it will it -15C.

I'll prove you wrong, said I.

My brother as right...

I couldn't get it off though, so after breathings on it hoping it would warm the metal...didn't bloody work, i yanked my hea back and as I began to speak blood poured out of my mouth.

I had ripped a fair few layers of tongue off and as a consequence could not eat hot food for a week.

Idiot I am :rolleyes:same thing happened to a kid in my school, and you could see the tongue skin on the phonebooth for the entirety of winter

I remember playing some three on three basketball. There was this guy we would always bash on for being so goofy looking and whatnot. I am running full speed, get the ball, and this guy is coming straight at me and I just shoulder him in the face without meaning to. Then about five minutes later, he tries to steal the ball, I am turning around trying to not fall and he trips over my foot. He trips right in a wall smashing his face, and my friend saw the ball hit him twice in the face as soon as he fell down. We coudn't stop laughing we started to lose the game. We told him this was all unintentional but he thought otherwise.

same thing happened to a kid in my school, and you could see the tongue skin on the phonebooth for the entirety of winter

Ouch, a frikken phone booth! muppet :D

I couldn't get it off though, so after breathings on it hoping it would warm the metal...didn't bloody work, i yanked my hea back and as I began to speak blood poured out of my mouth.

I had ripped a fair few layers of tongue off and as a consequence could not eat hot food for a week.

ooooh nasty :eek:


i did a pretty stupid thing once in A-level Biology class. we were dissecting a heart or something and i was just gathering up all the kit we needed - tray, tweesers, scalpel...
the stupid thing was holding the scalpel upright, in my right hand, for a few secs while i picked something else up. i reached accross with my left hand and managed to stab myself, whole blade deep in my arm.

nobody noticed...

until i turned quite pale about 10 mins later and the girl i was working with asked why my sleeve was all wet... :headbang:

man i felt so stupid :p

ooooh nasty :eek:


i did a pretty stupid thing once in A-level Biology class. we were dissecting a heart or something and i was just gathering up all the kit we needed - tray, tweesers, scalpel...
the stupid thing was holding the scalpel upright, in my right hand, for a few secs while i picked something else up. i reached accross with my left hand and managed to stab myself, whole blade deep in my arm.

nobody noticed...

until i turned quite pale about 10 mins later and the girl i was working with asked why my sleeve was all wet... :headbang:

man i felt so stupid :p


Argh, bloody hell that must have hurt once you noticed!

Science classes are always great though.

The best one was where it was oxidising copper, i tilted the test tube the wrong way and, as the teacher said "Don't turn the gas up high", i misheard and turned it on full wack.

I scorched 5 desks, set 6 books on fire, destroyed a display and burned one of the plastic tiles on the ceiling. I was a legend after that.

Hmmm, the funniest thing I have ever seen happen to my friend...

Well its more something he did.

We used to climb on a lot of roofs (we werent supposed to, but we got onto all the schools in the area on the weekends) and one time, he had boosted me up on a particularly difficult climb, and I was helping him up.

This was in July, and my friend was wearing his patented aviator sunglasses. As I was helping him up, he slipped, and was left dangling by one arm; his glasses skewed off to the side. He could have easily recovered, but instead he brought his free arm up, ADJUSTED HIS GLASSES with this almost epic movie starish grin and "This is gonna hurt and its gonna be hilarious" look, nodded like the grinning idiot he was, and got his glasses all proper just as his fingers gave out - he damaged ligaments in his knee upon landing.

It sounds stupid when you tell it, but at the time...

We nicked this cart for lifting crate from the docks near Rowhedge, my friend decided to ride it down a hill, realising too slow that it had no brakes and he had ot run ove rhis foot repeatedly in order to slow down. Rode into a fence at high speed. What fun! :p