NationStates Jolt Archive


Star Trek VS Harry Potter

Kejott
22-05-2005, 09:36
Who would win? I imagine the movie going something like this:

The title credits roll and an Akira class starship enters Earth's orbit and goes to red alert. Its weapons charge and its computers lock onto the school. It fires a volley of quantum torpedos. The ship then exits orbit and warps away. The end credits roll.
Saxnot
22-05-2005, 09:39
Pretty much. Klingon bird of prey cloaks, flys up, blows them to sh!t.
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 09:48
It would be magic vs technology. Magic will always win, magic doesnt have to obey the laws of physics.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 09:51
How can magic know if there's a ship in orbit around the earth? They'll be flying around on their broomsticks and then BAM, a smouldering crater the size of texas appears where the school once was.
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 09:56
How can magic know if there's a ship in orbit around the earth? They'll be flying around on their broomsticks and then BAM, a smouldering crater the size of texas appears where the school once was.

The Ministry of Magic surely has people whose job it is to detect unusual objects approaching the Earth. Its as simple as a couple of spells you place and forget. Something unusual like an asteroid or a space ship coming too close and a team of aurors is alerted.

Technology really cant take on magic cus magic doesnt have to make sense.
Phylum Chordata
22-05-2005, 09:57
Yeah, but some Star Trek main characters would travel back in time to stop it. Then when they meet Harry Potter they will realize that they are in an alternate universe where magic works. Unfortunately, due to a transporter accident, Worf is split into his good, evil, and pissed off aspects, and the evil and pissed off Worfs team up to vapourize Harry Potter while the good Worf says, "I protest! But the annoying little git was asking for it."
Kejott
22-05-2005, 09:58
The Ministry of Magic surely has people whose job it is to detect unusual objects approaching the Earth. Its as simple as a couple of spells you place and forget. Something unusual like an asteroid or a space ship coming too close and a team of aurors is alerted.

Technology really cant take on magic cus magic doesnt have to make sense.

I still don't think they could detect a cloaked Reman Warbird in orbit about to saturate Earth with thaeleron radiation.
Zefielia
22-05-2005, 09:58
The Borg show up, prepare to assimmilate the population, then realize their targets aren't worth much and instead incinerate the place.

Game, set, match.
The Plutonian Empire
22-05-2005, 09:59
I'd love for that to be an actual movie :D

star trek v harry potter :D

:D
Kejott
22-05-2005, 09:59
The Borg show up, prepare to assimmilate the population, then realize their targets aren't worth much and instead incinerate the place.

Game, set, match.

Daaamn straight, or they would assimilate everyone else and ignore the cast of HP.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 10:00
I'd love for that to be an actual movie :D

star trek v harry potter :D

:D

It would only last 30 seconds lol :p
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 10:03
I still don't think they could detect a cloaked Reman Warbird in orbit about to saturate Earth with thaeleron radiation.

Why not? No one cloaked them against magical detection, only against technological detection.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 10:05
Why not? No one cloaked them against magical detection, only against technological detection.

Well first of all I don't think they would know what it is if they can even detect it in the first place, and they'd be dead before they even have time to find out.
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 10:08
Well first of all I don't think they would know what it is if they can even detect it in the first place, and they'd be dead before they even have time to find out.

Couldnt they just cast a time stop until they figure out what it is? They have magic afterall, they dont need to obey the laws of physics :D

Or they could turn the missiles back with a spell so they fly back at whatever shot them. Surely, they dont care what it is if its coming at the Earth at high speed, theyll turn it around first and ask questions later.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 10:10
Couldnt they just cast a time stop until they figure out what it is? They have magic afterall, they dont need to obey the laws of physics :D

Or they could turn the missiles back with a spell so they fly back at whatever shot them. Surely, they dont care what it is if its coming at the Earth at high speed, theyll turn it around first and ask questions later.

How could they turn the photon quantum torpedos back? They move at warp speeds towards their targets. That means if you were to fire on the surface of a planet, it would strike almost instantaniously, they wouldn't have time to do anything.
Xessmithia
22-05-2005, 10:13
What none of you have yet mentioned is that Star Trek has a magic of its own, the magic of Treknobabble.

Picard: Mr. Worf full spread of torpedoes on that quaint English castle. That;ll show them for messing with the French even though I have a british accent.

Worf: They had no effect the targ's have taken my honor. I now need to go get drunk off of Blood wine before I beat myself with painsticks.

Riker: Data, is there a counter attack?

Data: Yes sir, there appears to be a sub-space magithermal emination coming from the target location. It will breach our shields soon if we don't stop it.

*gasps from bridge crew*

Picard: Can we stop it Data?

Data: I believe so sir if we modify our deflector dish to eminate a tri-axilated sub-sbace phased tetrion pulse encoded to match the magithermal's frequency we should cause their heads to explode.

Picard: Make it so.
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 10:35
How could they turn the photon quantum torpedos back? They move at warp speeds towards their targets. That means if you were to fire on the surface of a planet, it would strike almost instantaniously, they wouldn't have time to do anything.

They have magic, magic can do anything. They probably have such spells rigged on a trigger. They dont need to have knowledge of it, it will go off automatically.

Like I said, technology cant beat magic because technology is realistic, magic doesnt need to make sense.
Cambridge Major
22-05-2005, 10:43
What none of you have yet mentioned is that Star Trek has a magic of its own, the magic of Treknobabble.

Picard: Mr. Worf full spread of torpedoes on that quaint English castle. That;ll show them for messing with the French even though I have a british accent.

Worf: They had no effect the targ's have taken my honor. I now need to go get drunk off of Blood wine before I beat myself with painsticks.

Riker: Data, is there a counter attack?

Data: Yes sir, there appears to be a sub-space magithermal emination coming from the target location. It will breach our shields soon if we don't stop it.

*gasps from bridge crew*

Picard: Can we stop it Data?

Data: I believe so sir if we modify our deflector dish to eminate a tri-axilated sub-sbace phased tetrion pulse encoded to match the magithermal's frequency we should cause their heads to explode.

Picard: Make it so.
lol lol lol

But don't forget, muggle technology doesn't work within the bounds of Hogwarts. And, for all their fancy starships, the star trek lot are a hopeless load of muggles. So their torpedoes would just deactivate as soon as they got close enough to the castle.

You can't beat magic with technobabble. Technobabble still has to sound plausible...magic don't care about that!

(But that said, I still voted for Star Trek - it would be so satisfying)
Karrnath
22-05-2005, 10:50
Trek tech doesn't need to make sense, either.

Of course, I am guessing that when they find HP-Earth, they will beam the bridge crew down with a bunch of red shirts. When they get attacked by Death Eaters, the red shirts will open fire, maybe kill one, and then get butchered horribly. Then Captain will seduce Hermione, and with Mr. Weasely's help, and the power of Treknobabble and the deflector dish, they will construct a superweapon that saves the day at the last possible second.
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 11:01
Trek tech doesn't need to make sense, either.

Of course, I am guessing that when they find HP-Earth, they will beam the bridge crew down with a bunch of red shirts. When they get attacked by Death Eaters, the red shirts will open fire, maybe kill one, and then get butchered horribly. Then Captain will seduce Hermione, and with Mr. Weasely's help, and the power of Treknobabble and the deflector dish, they will construct a superweapon that saves the day at the last possible second.

You cant use typical plot devices to say Star Trek will win either because youd have to also use the Harry Potter plot devices, which dictate that Harry and his friends will figure out some clever way to foil Picard's plans (or Kirk's or whomever), save Hogwarts, and win the Quidditch cup.
Karas
22-05-2005, 11:06
They have magic, magic can do anything. They probably have such spells rigged on a trigger. They dont need to have knowledge of it, it will go off automatically.

Like I said, technology cant beat magic because technology is realistic, magic doesnt need to make sense.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Magic is just a label people slap on to science that they cannot understand.

Harry Potter magic has its own laws. If it didn't then there would be no need for a school to teach it. Its just that those laws don't conform laws of of our limited science.


If push comes to shove.

Picard: "I know I'm going to regret this but...... Q, I need your help."

Q's are omnipotent. Harry isn't omnipotent.
German Nightmare
22-05-2005, 11:14
Besides the fact that I love Star Trek and hate Harry Potter (and thus my choice was clear from the beginning)

I'd like to see Harry Potter assimilated (resistance is futile, remember?) and the new Harry Potter movie should display exactly that: HP gets abducted by the Borg, becomes 5 of 12 and leads a boring, boring drone life in section A578/H2356 of Borg Cube SKH69334689U. Eventually he dies when the Borg try to assimilate a Romulan Warbird which selfdestructs and destroys 5 of 12's section. The end.
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 11:16
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Magic is just a label people slap on to science that they cannot understand.

Harry Potter magic has its own laws. If it didn't then there would be no need for a school to teach it. Its just that those laws don't conform laws of of our limited science.


If push comes to shove.

Picard: "I know I'm going to regret this but...... Q, I need your help."

Q's are omnipotent. Harry isn't omnipotent.

But Q doesnt meddle in such trivial matters. He'll just say no.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 11:19
But Q doesnt meddle in such trivial matters. He'll just say no.

He'd probably get a kick out of Picard asking for help and do it because it's fun.
Karas
22-05-2005, 12:10
Besides the fact that I love Star Trek and hate Harry Potter (and thus my choice was clear from the beginning)

I'd like to see Harry Potter assimilated (resistance is futile, remember?) and the new Harry Potter movie should display exactly that: HP gets abducted by the Borg, becomes 5 of 12 and leads a boring, boring drone life in section A578/H2356 of Borg Cube SKH69334689U. Eventually he dies when the Borg try to assimilate a Romulan Warbird which selfdestructs and destroys 5 of 12's section. The end.

If the Borg Assimilated Harry then every Borg would have magical powers.
Iesus Christi
22-05-2005, 12:14
It would be magic vs technology. Magic will always win, magic doesnt have to obey the laws of physics.

Well....its pretty much Magic Vs Magic. Startrek is hardly science:P
JiangGuo
22-05-2005, 12:35
Knowing the Borg, they'd send in an absolutely overwhleming wave of drones to assimilate everybody. Someone will use 'magic' (presuming it work on Borg), Borg always adapt quickly. Assimilates everyone, then realize these drones are a deleterious influence on the average quality of all drones, commands them all to self-destruct. The entire exercise is futile.
Thal_Ixu
22-05-2005, 12:35
If the Borg Assimilated Harry then every Borg would have magical powers.

no they wouldn't...they would have all of Harry's knowledge of course but that doesn't mean all Borg would be able to use magic.
I'd say ST. Besides the fact that Harry Potter is a little cry-baby who'd probably sit around sobbering if he see's a battelfield from the Dominion War, we'd just have the Romulans rebuild the Scimitar and make them blast Hogwarts to whatever they consider as hell. To say they have automatic magical defenses against attacks from space is too ridicolous, even for this thread ;)
And even if they survive this...well there are certainly way more ships available then there are wizards and witches.
To finish....Give me a Valdore-class and I take HP out for you. (God, i love these ships)
Kejott
22-05-2005, 12:38
what about a Phaser VS a Magic Wand and Spock's Jet Boots VS a Broom?
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 12:45
what about a Phaser VS a Magic Wand and Spock's Jet Boots VS a Broom?

Phaser vs Magic Wand depends a great deal on how good the person going against the phaser is at dodging and how good a shot the shooter is. The phaser is much quicker but if the person with the wand manages to avoid being hit by the first shot, whoever is holding the phaser will be disarmed by the first spell from the wand (or killed or debilitatingly tortured or transformed into a toad, etc.). The phaser is much quicker the wand much deadlier, more accurate, and much more versatile.

As for the boots, Im not familiar with them.
The Solar Region
22-05-2005, 12:45
Hogwarts would simply join the Federation. The muggles, however, may have reason to be concerned.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 12:50
Phaser vs Magic Wand depends a great deal on how good the person going against the phaser is at dodging and how good a shot the shooter is. The phaser is much quicker but if the person with the wand manages to avoid being hit by the first shot, whoever is holding the phaser will be disarmed by the first spell from the wand (or killed or debilitatingly tortured or transformed into a toad, etc.). The phaser is much quicker the wand much deadlier, more accurate, and much more versatile.

As for the boots, Im not familiar with them.

Don't underestimate the power of a phaser now. A phaser has 16 settings. Setting 8 can completely vaporize a human being. If you put it on the widest beam width and setting 16 you can destroy several city blocks and that's just with a handheld phaser type II.
Thal_Ixu
22-05-2005, 12:50
@Solar Region: They wouldn't be accepted. Too primitive
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 12:58
Don't underestimate the power of a phaser now. A phaser has 16 settings. Setting 8 can completely vaporize a human being. If you put it on the widest beam width and setting 16 you can destroy several city blocks and that's just with a handheld phaser type II.

That doesnt change anything I said. If the person being shot at manages to avoid being hit by the phaser, the person with the phaser loses.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 13:00
That doesnt change anything I said. If the person being shot at manages to avoid being hit by the phaser, the person with the phaser loses.

If you had a wand and I had a phaser and put it on wide beam mode, there's no possible way you could dodge it in time without some sort of transportation. Especially if it was on setting 16, you can't run several city blocks in a fwe microseconds unless you're Arnold Schwartzenegger from Predator.
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 13:04
If you had a wand and I had a phaser and put it on wide beam mode, there's no possible way you could dodge it in time without some sort of transportation. Especially if it was on setting 16, you can't run several city blocks in a fwe microseconds unless you're Arnold Schwartzenegger from Predator.

If you are sitting on a firebolt broom you can. Also, who can afford to cause that much damage in order to kill one person? Like I said, this is a complicated question, there is no "better". Whats better a scalpel or an axe? That depends do you want to chop down a tree or perform surgery? The phaser is quicker, the wand is more powerful, accurate, and versatile. The phaser is the axe, the wand is the scalpel.
The Bolglands
22-05-2005, 13:06
Well first of all I don't think they would know what it is if they can even detect it in the first place, and they'd be dead before they even have time to find out.

Hey, just cuz they're wizards (and mostly brits) doesnt mean that they haven't seen star trek.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 13:11
Hey, just cuz they're wizards (and mostly brits) doesnt mean that they haven't seen star trek.

I doubt Star Trek exists in television form in the same world as Harry Potter.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 13:13
If you are sitting on a firebolt broom you can. Also, who can afford to cause that much damage in order to kill one person? Like I said, this is a complicated question, there is no "better". Whats better a scalpel or an axe? That depends do you want to chop down a tree or perform surgery? The phaser is quicker, the wand is more powerful, accurate, and versatile. The phaser is the axe, the wand is the scalpel.

I don't see how a flimsy wand is more powerful than a phaser. It just doesn't compute. It may have more uses, but I don't think it's more potent.
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 13:16
I don't see how a flimsy wand is more powerful than a phaser. It just doesn't compute. It may have more uses, but I don't think it's more potent.

Probably because you have not read the books. With the wand you can do everything the phaser can do (including level entire city blocks) and more because you can do more than just kill with it.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 13:20
Probably because you have not read the books. With the wand you can do everything the phaser can do (including level entire city blocks) and more because you can do more than just kill with it.

You can do more with a phaser than just kill with it. You can stun and knock out people, heat up objects, remove barriers, and probably way more things I can think of at the moment (like reconfiguring it's output to match the operating frequency of a machine and shut it down).
LazyHippies
22-05-2005, 13:26
You can do more with a phaser than just kill with it. You can stun and knock out people, heat up objects, remove barriers, and probably way more things I can think of at the moment (like reconfiguring it's output to match the operating frequency of a machine and shut it down).

Uhuh. Thats nice. Can you transform something or someone into something else with it? Change somethings shape? Make something or someone fly? Summon an object from great distances? Create light? Summon a monster or creature of some type? Torture someone without harming them physically (though you may drive them insane)? etc, etc. The uses of a wand are endless whereas the phaser only really has one effect. It can be dampened or amplified but its still just one effect.
Pure Metal
22-05-2005, 13:29
The title credits roll and an Akira class starship enters Earth's orbit and goes to red alert. Its weapons charge and its computers lock onto the school. It fires a volley of quantum torpedos. The ship then exits orbit and warps away. The end credits roll.
i'd pay to see that move :p

phasers pwn magic wands.



and since it looks like we're discussing opposing weaponry, how exactly could Mr Potter and his demented freinds schoo away a phaser beam? there's nothing to turn into anything else (unlike a quantom/photon torpedo)

oooh if we're going for all of star trek, lets have some multiphasing torpedoes like in Voyager: End Game. nothing could stop them ;)
Thal_Ixu
22-05-2005, 14:00
I take some Shape-shifters and make them infiltrate Hogwarts :D Then at night they come out of their hinding places and kill everyone that seems powerful enough to stop the oncoming fleet :p
Homieville
22-05-2005, 14:01
Star Trek more hi-tec. thing then just Harry PotHead.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 14:02
i'd pay to see that move :p

phasers pwn magic wands.



and since it looks like we're discussing opposing weaponry, how exactly could Mr Potter and his demented freinds schoo away a phaser beam? there's nothing to turn into anything else (unlike a quantom/photon torpedo)

oooh if we're going for all of star trek, lets have some multiphasing torpedoes like in Voyager: End Game. nothing could stop them ;)

Damn skippy! I'd also pay to see this:

The title credits roll and The Enterprise scans the school.

Data: I'm finding heavy concentrations of supercalifragilisticexpialadocias particles within the vacinity.

Picard: Onscreen.

Picard: Wow, look at how wimpy they are. Worf go to transporter room three and beam down there and slap them like a bitch!

Worf: Aye Sir. *worf goes to transporter room three and beams to the surface and walks up to Harry and bitch slaps him*

Harry: Help!

*worf then grabs him by the head*

Worf: Magicalsize this!

Harry: NOOOOO!!!

*worf snaps his neck causing instant death*


The end credits roll.
Evil 4 All
22-05-2005, 14:12
Was this topic written by a 12 year old?
Kejott
22-05-2005, 14:13
Was this topic written by a 12 year old?

No it was written by me as a joke, geeze don't be so Sean Pennish :p
Chaudi Arabia
22-05-2005, 14:51
STAR TREK! STAR TREK! STAR TREK!
but harry potter is amazing too. star trek only just gets my vote. the actress who plays hermione (emma watson) is fit!
Pure Metal
22-05-2005, 15:31
Damn skippy! I'd also pay to see this:

The title credits roll and The Enterprise scans the school.

Data: I'm finding heavy concentrations of supercalifragilisticexpialadocias particles within the vacinity.

Picard: Onscreen.

Picard: Wow, look at how wimpy they are. Worf go to transporter room three and beam down there and slap them like a bitch!

Worf: Aye Sir. *worf goes to transporter room three and beams to the surface and walks up to Harry and bitch slaps him*

Harry: Help!

*worf then grabs him by the head*

Worf: Magicalsize this!

Harry: NOOOOO!!!

*worf snaps his neck causing instant death*


The end credits roll.
lol =P


The title credits roll. Above Earth a temporal vortex opens. A borg sphere exits closely followed by the Enterprise E.


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/picard.jpg
Pickard: "Ah crap. Tell me we're not doing this shit again. Report."


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/data.jpg
Data: "You told us to follow the sphere in, dickwad :rolleyes: Laying in pursuit course."


*Borg sphere opens fire at the surface of Earth*


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/riker.jpg
Riker: "Thats not good! What are they shooting at?"


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/picard.jpg
Pickard: "Some place on the Northern Hemisphere. Look i'm pointing at it."


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/paris.jpg
Paris: "Looks like a place called Hogwarts School For Witchcraft and Bastardry. See? My innane, stupid knowledge of 20th Century crap comes in handy again! I rule!!"


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/data.jpg
Data: "What the fuck are you doing here?!"


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/archer.jpg
Archer: "Never you mind, pasty-face"


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/worf.jpg
Pasty-head: "Orders, captain?"


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/picard.jpg
Pickard: "Hogwarts is it? Well then... everyone take five. I'm off to go have sex on the Holodeck, cos thats what its really for."


*Credits roll*


*Hidden Pickard sex-scene*
Kejott
22-05-2005, 15:36
lol =P


The title credits roll. Above Earth a temporal vortex opens. A borg sphere exits closely followed by the Enterprise E.


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/picard.jpg
Pickard: "Ah crap. Tell me we're not doing this shit again. Report."


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/data.jpg
Data: "You told us to follow the sphere in, dickwad :rolleyes: Laying in pursuit course."


*Borg sphere opens fire at the surface of Earth*


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/riker.jpg
Riker: "Thats not good! What are they shooting at?"


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/picard.jpg
Pickard: "Some place on the Northern Hemisphere. Look i'm pointing at it."


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/paris.jpg
Paris: "Looks like a place called Hogwarts School For Witchcraft and Bastardry. See? My innane, stupid knowledge of 20th Century crap comes in handy again! I rule!!"


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/data.jpg
Data: "What the fuck are you doing here?!"


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/archer.jpg
Archer: "Never you mind, pasty-face"


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/worf.jpg
Pasty-head: "Orders, captain?"


http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/picard.jpg
Pickard: "Hogwarts is it? Well then... everyone take five. I'm off to go have sex on the Holodeck, cos thats what its really for."


*Credits roll*


*Hidden Pickard sex-scene*

Haha, this just gave me a mental image. Star Trek porn! I bet Paramount would be interested in that, think of all the money they'd make!
Pure Metal
22-05-2005, 16:54
Haha, this just gave me a mental image. Star Trek porn! I bet Paramount would be interested in that, think of all the money they'd make!
hell i'd love to see the special DVD 4 way antics of Worf, Keira, Riker and Troi going at it ;)

hell why do you think Pickard calls Will "number one"? he just loooves his piss treats! :p



i think i just crossed the line :D

a couple of cool links y'all might like http://www.crossoveruniverse.com/ulttrek.htm
http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/1.html
Gauthier
22-05-2005, 16:55
But Q doesnt meddle in such trivial matters. He'll just say no.He'd probably get a kick out of Picard asking for help and do it because it's fun.

The one particular Q (as played by DeLancie) tends to be rather meddlesome in mortal affairs for an omnipotent being. I would agree he would get a kick of watching Picard having to resort to asking him for help and might even get a kick out the Hogwarts kids as well.

-----

Q: (Gleeful and disingenuous) "Pardon me Jean-Luc there must be something in my ear," (Cleans out right ear with a pinky, then leans head closer) "For a second there I was imagining that you were pleading to ME for help." (pauses, then eyes light up with an expression one could see on a fox coming upon an unguarded basked of eggs) "Oh You Did!? Brave and Stoic Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation, asking little old me for assistance? And I didn't have to do a single thing? Why this is a cosmic event I simply must record for posterity!" (Snaps finger and a paper calendar suddenly sparks into existence, hovering in the air. Q takes out a red marker and circles a particular date, and scribbles down a note. With another snap the calender and marker vanish) "There! Now... what is is that you need your Good Friend Q's help on?" (Grinning and listening. And then... laughter which leaves him rolling and kicking on the deck floor) "HA!! Schoolage children making magic to inconvenience your life!? Why I ought to sue the little buggers for trademark infringement." (Wheezes, recovers, flashes back upright.) "Oh you really can be too much at times Jean-Luc. Tell you what, since you've put me in the best mood I've been in millenia, I'll be more than willing to do you a favor and show these tykes what real magic can be. Oh, and you owe me for this one as well." (Flashes out)
Kejott
22-05-2005, 17:08
hell i'd love to see the special DVD 4 way antics of Worf, Keira, Riker and Troi going at it ;)

hell why do you think Pickard calls Will "number one"? he just loooves his piss treats! :p



i think i just crossed the line :D

a couple of cool links y'all might like http://www.crossoveruniverse.com/ulttrek.htm
http://www.nunsgonewild.net/stevesoft/startrek/1.html

haha :p oh god, just imagine how big worf is :eek: he probably has a Bat'elth down there lol.

You know what must suck? Being a low level engineer when Worf's toilet breaks down, my god imagine the horror of a Klingon shit.
Gauthier
22-05-2005, 17:12
You know what must suck? Being a low level engineer when Worf's toilet breaks down, my god imagine the horror of a Klingon shit.

Shit that sticks to the sides. Shit that refuses to be cleaned or even burnt off. Shit that not only comes back up when you flush, but tries to climb out of the rim. Shit that will try to take you down with it to earn itself a place in Sto-Bowl-Kor.

Klingon Kaka.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 17:13
Shit that sticks to the rime. Shit that refuses to be cleaned or even burnt off. Shit that not only comes back up when you flush, but tries to climb out of the rim. Shit that will try to take you down with it to earn itself a place in Sto-Bowl-Kor.

Klingon Kaka.

haha, I think it would be kinda like guano. You know where if you inhale it, it'll fill up your lungs and drown you.
Nimzonia
22-05-2005, 17:15
Hagrid could totally take on a borg cube with his bare hands.
Pure Metal
22-05-2005, 17:15
haha :p oh god, just imagine how big worf is :eek: he probably has a Bat'elth down there lol.
i bet Kira doesn't mind;)
they did get it together/married, right? its been years since i've seen any DS9 at all:(

You know what must suck? Being a low level engineer when Worf's toilet breaks down, my god imagine the horror of a Klingon shit.
lol:D
but then again... they don't have toilets on star trek! seriously, when do you ever see anyone taking a dump? they have sonic showers, yeah, but no toilets. a little strange, no?


edit:

Shit that sticks to the sides. Shit that refuses to be cleaned or even burnt off. Shit that not only comes back up when you flush, but tries to climb out of the rim. Shit that will try to take you down with it to earn itself a place in Sto-Bowl-Kor.

Klingon Kaka.
LMAO:p:p
Kejott
22-05-2005, 19:22
i bet Kira doesn't mind;)
they did get it together/married, right? its been years since i've seen any DS9 at all:(


lol:D
but then again... they don't have toilets on star trek! seriously, when do you ever see anyone taking a dump? they have sonic showers, yeah, but no toilets. a little strange, no?


edit:


LMAO:p:p

Actually in Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country I think you can see a toilet in Kirks room, and a sign says "don't flush while docked" or something like that.

I also think that joke in First Contact is a homage to the not pissing and shitting situation.
General Mike
22-05-2005, 19:25
Who would win? I imagine the movie going something like this:

The title credits roll and an Akira class starship enters Earth's orbit and goes to red alert. Its weapons charge and its computers lock onto the school. It fires a volley of quantum torpedos. The ship then exits orbit and warps away. The end credits roll.One problem: Hogwarts isn't on Earth, it's in a magical dimension of some sort.
Kejott
22-05-2005, 19:27
One problem: Hogwarts isn't on Earth, it's in a magical dimension of some sort.

They'd probably open the dimension with the deflector dish and fire some torpedos into the vortex. Bam, problem solved.
Mazalandia
23-05-2005, 16:57
Obviously no-one reads Harry Potter here because it is unplottable.
This means they would have to be told where it is, or at leat have Q tell them.
Why do I know about this?
I'm a geek that reads Harry Potter of course.

Begiining credits roll
Picard "Find and destroy Hogwart's"
Worf "Can not find it sir"
Dumbledore appears
Dumbledore "I can not let you do that"
Destroys ship
End Credits roll
Shadowstorm Imperium
23-05-2005, 17:02
It would be magic vs technology. Magic will always win, magic doesnt have to obey the laws of physics.

Ha! Like Star Trek obeys the laws of physics!