NationStates Jolt Archive

I think my healthiest close relationship with a guy right now is with a guy I just fooled around with and didn't really date.

My bf and I are iffy, I don't talk to my one ex anymore, my best friend who I used to date is acting weird...

and here's my one friend who I had no attempt at emotional connection at the outset and he's conselling me on relationships.

You nearly always catch better when you're not fishing. Life's like that.

Last year I married a man I thought would just be a summer fling. We slept together roughly 48 hours after we met. It took us 6 years to get married. I think there is something about blowing off the "this could be the one" mindset that let's you get to know each other better. I've always been pointedly honest with him. At first I just thought if he didn't like what I said he could just bugger off. Later I was so honest because I knew that if he did love it was for who I was. Not what I made out to be.

I love my Nerd.

So your healthiest relationship is with someone with whom you have no relationship? That kind of doesn't make sense.

I just really meant that he's the only guy I really feel like I can talk to now. I don't consider him more than a friend really.

I think things may be over with my bf. It's timing, really. I had to come along when he lacked experience, we had to get involved when I'm in a different city at school, he's got a new job where he can get 50 hours a week... nothing seems to go right.

I just really meant that he's the only guy I really feel like I can talk to now. I don't consider him more than a friend really.

I think things may be over with my bf. It's timing, really. I had to come along when he lacked experience, we had to get involved when I'm in a different city at school, he's got a new job where he can get 50 hours a week... nothing seems to go right.
LD relationships are pointless. Good call.

LD relationships are pointless. Good call.
We've been dating for almost 2 years, most of it was long distance.

We've been dating for almost 2 years, most of it was long distance.
That is impressive. The longest I have gone long distance was about 3 months, but that was when my girlfriend was planning on moving to my city anyway so we had something to look forward to. And it was only like 70 miles. It wasn't when of those I live in NY my girl friend lives in oregon things.

I am heading off for Basic training this year and then overseas stationing on an Air Force base. My girlfriend of two and a half years and I have talked and worried and done about everything there is to do about this matter. But, we will not break up just because I will be thousands of miles away across an ocean. We have a very strong love for each other and that's what it's all about. If you truely love someone, you WILL make it work. Love isn't easy, but it's one of the greatest (and worse) things in the world to experiance.

That is impressive. The longest I have gone long distance was about 3 months, but that was when my girlfriend was planning on moving to my city anyway so we had something to look forward to. And it was only like 70 miles. It wasn't when of those I live in NY my girl friend lives in oregon things.
We're a 45 min drive apart, but neither of us has a car... which makes it ratehr difficult.

I dated a girl for quite some time, halfway acrost the country.

We ended up getting married.

I am heading off for Basic training this year and then overseas stationing on an Air Force base. My girlfriend of two and a half years and I have talked and worried and done about everything there is to do about this matter. But, we will not break up just because I will be thousands of miles away across an ocean. We have a very strong love for each other and that's what it's all about. If you truely love someone, you WILL make it work. Love isn't easy, but it's one of the greatest (and worse) things in the world to experiance.
Lately (past number of months) things just seem to be getting steadily worse though. There are moments when I think things might be ok, but then things just get so much worse after.

Lately (past number of months) things just seem to be getting steadily worse though. There are moments when I think things might be ok, but then things just get so much worse after.
I've been through that, multiple times. It seems almost like the world's going to end. Most of the time, it can be helped by just sitting down alone and talking. Talking about anything. We'd get in a big argument, screaming, shouting, crying, etc etc etc. I'd drive her home, a foul silence filling the cab of my truck. I'd park in her driveway and turn off the engine. Neither of us would make a move to leave just yet. It's night, so there is no light, just a faint glow from a street light. There'd be a pause, then one of us would say something, maybe furthering the arguement, maybe making us laugh. But by the end of the night, we found we love each other more and more, just because we talked.
We've done that exact senario hundreds of times, and I feel our relationship has been strengthened by it. That's what people need to do sometimes, just shut up and talk. You'd be amazed at what is said, what is confessed, and what it leads to.
But remember, it is a double-edged sword...

...
But remember, it is a double-edged sword...

Indeed. Depending on the situation, worlds can be gained by simply listening - no matter how hard you want to speak up (in defense, what-have-you).

And this is aimed at the ladies reading: Sometimes, he is right y'know... :rolleyes:

We're a 45 min drive apart, but neither of us has a car... which makes it ratehr difficult.

Thats less than my morning commute was for years(before I could afford to live in the city). less than the 1 way commute. Not including waiting times for trains and subways. It was 1:25 all in(each way), and I was at work by 8-8:30 am.

You dont have my sympathy.

Thats less than my morning commute was for years(before I could afford to live in the city). less than the 1 way commute. Not including waiting times for trains and subways. It was 1:25 all in(each way), and I was at work by 8-8:30 am.

You dont have my sympathy.
Did you miss the part about neither of us having the means to get to each other?

The only other way is bus, but they don't run much of the time.

Did you miss the part about neither of us having the means to get to each other?

The only other way is bus, but they don't run much of the time.

No offense hun, but why haven't you broken up with him yet? You've been talking about how it's over for a while now.

No offense hun, but why haven't you broken up with him yet? You've been talking about how it's over for a while now.
Well, last week we deceided we were both going to try to repair things.

Then he got a job offer that would mean a lot of working hours so it would be hard for me to see him even when I do manage to get some time off work to get down there... plus I couldn't get the long weekend off.

And now we're talking and he's just sending me to funny websites instead of talking about what's going on.

Well, last week we deceided we were both going to try to repair things.

Then he got a job offer that would mean a lot of working hours so it would be hard for me to see him even when I do manage to get some time off work to get down there... plus I couldn't get the long weekend off.

And now we're talking and he's just sending me to funny websites instead of talking about what's going on.

Interesting. If I may be so blunt, what are you two still holding on to?

I know that this isn't the best place but would some one be so kind as to tell me how i can start a new thread? pretty please?

Interesting. If I may be so blunt, what are you two still holding on to?
I love him, and when we are actually in the same city and can see each other, things are good.

It's just when we don't see each other for a logn time that thigns aren't alright.

I love him, and when we are actually in the same city and can see each other, things are good.

It's just when we don't see each other for a logn time that thigns aren't alright.

I suppose I have to think of that. I'm sure all you tell us about is the badness and not the goodness.

When things arn't going right, sometimes all it looks like is that things were always bad. But if you stop and really think, you might see differently.
If life gets so adverse for your relationship, it is merely testing the strength of your love. If you two really love each other, you'll find a way.

I suppose I have to think of that. I'm sure all you tell us about is the badness and not the goodness.
Yeah, you guys don't get a fair representation. When I'm with him I'm not really posting here (I did that once and he got mad 'cause I was ignoring him) and when things are going alright I would rather talk about other things... I don't think people would like if I were to go on about happy relationship stuff. I get the feeling that 30 single people would tell me to shut up.