NationStates Jolt Archive

I'll start out with the weirdest thing I ever did:

It was a few years ago on Good Friday, when some friends and I met to discuss a birthday present for another friend, whose birthday is on the 1st of April.
Well, we were having a good time and a few beers, getting nowhere nearer a good idea for a present but getting a lot of stupid ideas instead. The one idea that stuck was to play a prank on the 1st of April, to as many people as possible and to make the local newspaper.

So, on the 1st of April, 4 days later, we had painted a few transparents and signs and one of my friends and I walked happily off to the town center. Around midnight on Friday, we had decided to have a little demonstration for the religious freedom of woodworms.
In town, we met up with a third friend and went to the town hall, as we needed a permission to demonstrate, of course. Explaining our demonstration to the receptionist was the first bit of fun that day... and the town official we finally got to talk to liked the idea and gave us the permit.

We found a nice place right in the center of the town, each one of us displaying a sign around her neck with slogans like "Stop the religious persecution! Free the ptilinus pectinicornis!!" and "Let the woodworms pray!". We handed out flyers with our reasons why woodworms are persecuted and banned from every place of religous worship and our demands to stop this injustice instantly.

Now, I have to say that I'm from a VERY catholic town in central Europe, people there are hardly used to any kind of demonstrations at all, let alone religious ones... the faces were just too good to be true.
Especially the old people... my friend went up to a granny trying to give her one of the flyers, but she backed away, almost panicing "I'm a good catholic!! I'll not join your sect!!!" to which my friend said, "You're no woodworm anyway"
Another woman came up to me starting a serious discussion on how about in Judaism, animals have souls as well and how she admired that we as Christians finally stood up for their rights.... I didn't have the heart to tell her it was just a joke.

Well, in the end, we did get noticed by the newspaper (after all, we were just one block away from them) and we got a nice little article in there the next day. With picture. Scared my grandmother half to death, seeing me in there ;)

Any other crazy stories out there?

Oh, way too many stories to fit on this forum... but there was this time I made my friend smoke crushed Cuttlefish in a pipe... he was sick for hours. :D

I talked a friend into shaving off his (quite copius) beard and smoking it. Then, logically, we got him to move on to his ass hair :p

I once murdered this guy... and chopped up his body... and threw it into the river... :)

When I used to jump more often, a friend and I used to disable the AAD that would automatically deploy the reserve if you were still falling below the safe limit.

We would then play chicken with the ground.

Skydiving, for one.

Playing "superman" on the roof of a car going going roughly 60mph at night in the middle of nowhere was pretty crazy/stupid. Although I wasn't sober, at least the driver was.

Stole a giant Shrek cut out from a Dairy Queen

Climbed up into the bowl of a 30 foot high foutain statue outside the courthouse and had a picnic (when the cops arrived, we offered them cookies and coke)

Got into a fight with 3 army kids while stoned off my ass

Went to a Bad Religion concert wearing a Jesus t-shirt :)

Charged a police line of like 50 cops with 20 other protesters

Tryed to break into the World Bank Infoshop, teased a Secret Service agent about him being the only one without shiney shoes (the World Bank guards and DC cop had shiney shoes)

Helped a group of Baltimore Punks fight a group of Skinheads

Tryed to break into a church called \"Church of the Morningstar\" at 2 am to try to gather evedence that they were a Satanic church (stoned again)



I\'m pretty sure there\'s more, bu that\'s what I can think of right now

Drifted my car. Though it wasn't intentionally, I pulled out of it alive without hitting anything.

Me and my friend we're street racing (just speeding and chasing each other really), then there was this big highway U turn, I was behind him, when we approached it, we entered the turning around 140km/h. My car could take the turn, but my friend suddenly chickened out and hit the breaks, I couldn't react in time, so I swerved inside the circle. Lost control of my car, I downgeared, slam the accelerator and counter-steered the other way.. Surprisingly the traction took control, and my car drifted and pulled out of the corner.

I like.. Whooaahh shit.. the G-force and the tyres screeching was like no other. After that, I stopped the car. And my friend was like "Where the fark did you learn how to do that". Wish somebody had a camera to record that.

Next morning you could see the tyre marks.. pretty cool though I wouldn't do it again, not without professional training.

Got married and moved to Brazil

Perhaps the strangest thing i've done this week is make this picture:

http://img261.echo.cx/img261/8804/image084mad0rp.jpg

Skydiving, for one.

Playing "superman" on the roof of a car going going roughly 60mph at night in the middle of nowhere was pretty crazy/stupid. Although I wasn't sober, at least the driver was.

Skydiving isn't crazy unless you're playing chicken with another jumper.

And when you get to Alexandria, Va, look me up.

Got married and moved to BrazilHa.


I've never done anything crazy. And if I had I wouldn't tell you. It would damage my reputation.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

Ha.


I've never done anything crazy. And if I had I wouldn't tell you. It would damage my reputation.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

That comment is crazy enough to qualify you anytime ;)

I'm not sure off the top of my head. The story probably starts 'I got really drunk and...' though.

That comment is crazy enough to qualify you anytime ;)What??? You dare call me crazy??? You're crazy!!


~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

What??? You dare call me crazy??? You're crazy!!


~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

Well, I was hoping to make your "Things I hate" list ...
Crazy idea, really :fluffle:

tried to actually have a logical debate on this huge mass of morons we call the internet. And no, I'm not referring *only* to the radical right, so wipe that stupid grin off your face you dirty tree huggers.

I got kicked out of a museum today.

And I once had a drunk discussion about the usefulness/uselessness of infinities

Back in the mid 1980s, I used to visit the Washington Monument with a friend just to see two women we called The Doublemint Twins - two young blond attractive Park Ranger women who were posted there.

One was always at the elevator at ground level, and the other was always at the top. Rather disconcerting to see someone at the top that you thought you just saw at the bottom, and they were very attractive.

Well, one night after a few beers, we go there. Get in the elevator, and there's a family from some other place visiting on a summer night, taking advantage of the fact that the summer crowd goes away at night.

The little girl in the family says, "Daddy, I'm sweating."

Dad says, "No baby, men sweat, women perspire, and little girls glisten."

And I said, "Yeah, like a glazed donut."

Needless to say, my friend and I were forcibly ejected from the premises, and I haven't been back since.

-snip-

Dude. That's gold!

Back in '85 I (and the guys on my gun) loaded our M110 8" howitzer with 2 5gal buckets of nuts, bolts and assorted FOD in front of a red-bag charge and depressed the tube to boresight. :eek:

We cleared a stand of trees that the CoE was planning to remove... It was... incredible. Never, never, never never, stand in front of a beehive round.

Fortunately that tube was scheduled for replacement at depot anyway...

My whole life is a crazy story. :)

Why, just a couple days ago I was using my body as a wrecking ball to take out plastic lawn furniture.

As for the craziest thing I've ever done.... it all kinds of blends together. Add in the fact that I've been on this board for a long time and shared a lot of crazy stories, and I'm not sure what you've heard before and what you haven't. I'm also not sure what I ought to tell. Not all my crazy adventures are suitable for all audiences.

So, I think I'll retell the story of Ape and my horrible revenge. This actually unfolded entirely on the NS general forum. Some of the old timers might remember. It began when I got my wrist broken. One of my good friends, a 6'6" 275 lb monster of a man whose nickname is appropriately enough, Ape, tackled me one day as I was leaving my house. We fell awkwardly and I broke my wrist. It wasn't that big a deal. It was an accident. I forgave him. But I also made it clear that I would seek vengeance.

After brainstorming some here on the boards while my wrist mended, I decided that Ape would have to end up in a full-body cast. But how the hell do I accomplish that?!? Answer: chloroform.

Some of you remember my chloroform safety tips as I prepared. I experimented with it some. Even on myself. I read up on it extensively.

When the fateful day arrived, and all the preparations were set, I enlisted the aid of a couple other friends and during one Monday Night get together(some of my friends are Monday Night Raw fanatics), I attacked. Once I had Ape groggy and mostly incapacitaed, we proceeded to strip him and encase him from the neck down in a full body cast. Only his head and feet were left exposed.

We then spend a very entertaining night watching Raw, drinking and tickling Ape's feet. He urinated himself at least once.

All in the name of vengeance. :D

Note: Ape did eventually get even. Ape, amazingly enough is a chemist. Which is how I got the idea to use chloroform. Never piss off a chemist. :(

No, but I have a horrifying story...weak and the mild turn away..

While at Sience camp when I was 12(I know, I know greek r us) we all wanted to go swimming. Now this camp was run by people of a scientific nature, the buildings were also used through out the summer for various laguage courses. For some reason all camps were 'monitered' by priests.
So being a bunch of 12 yr olds we need supervision in the water..a priest who had a cert in 'life saving' came to 'moniter' us in his.......speedos :( :confused:

No, but I have a horrifying story...weak and the mild turn away..

While at Sience camp when I was 12(I know, I know greek r us) we all wanted to go swimming. Now this camp was run by people of a scientific nature, the buildings were also used through out the summer for various laguage courses. For some reason all camps were 'monitered' by priests.
So being a bunch of 12 yr olds we need supervision in the water..a priest who had a cert in 'life saving' came to 'moniter' us in his.......speedos :( :confused:

Unless he was over 300 lbs, or sasquatch-hairy, I think you've led a very sheltered life.

I'm wearing a jockstrap on my head as I'm typing this. I'm not certain it's mine. :p

My whole life is a crazy story. :)

Why, just a couple days ago I was using my body as a wrecking ball to take out plastic lawn furniture.

As for the craziest thing I've ever done.... it all kinds of blends together. Add in the fact that I've been on this board for a long time and shared a lot of crazy stories, and I'm not sure what you've heard before and what you haven't. I'm also not sure what I ought to tell. Not all my crazy adventures are suitable for all audiences.

So, I think I'll retell the story of Ape and my horrible revenge. This actually unfolded entirely on the NS general forum. Some of the old timers might remember. It began when I got my wrist broken. One of my good friends, a 6'6" 275 lb monster of a man whose nickname is appropriately enough, Ape, tackled me one day as I was leaving my house. We fell awkwardly and I broke my wrist. It wasn't that big a deal. It was an accident. I forgave him. But I also made it clear that I would seek vengeance.

After brainstorming some here on the boards while my wrist mended, I decided that Ape would have to end up in a full-body cast. But how the hell do I accomplish that?!? Answer: chloroform.

Some of you remember my chloroform safety tips as I prepared. I experimented with it some. Even on myself. I read up on it extensively.

When the fateful day arrived, and all the preparations were set, I enlisted the aid of a couple other friends and during one Monday Night get together(some of my friends are Monday Night Raw fanatics), I attacked. Once I had Ape groggy and mostly incapacitaed, we proceeded to strip him and encase him from the neck down in a full body cast. Only his head and feet were left exposed.

We then spend a very entertaining night watching Raw, drinking and tickling Ape's feet. He urinated himself at least once.

All in the name of vengeance. :D

Note: Ape did eventually get even. Ape, amazingly enough is a chemist. Which is how I got the idea to use chloroform. Never piss off a chemist. :(


Bah, heard it before. Your fans demand new material.

Unless he was over 300 lbs, or sasquatch-hairy, I think you've led a very sheltered life.

:p


He was

Skydiving isn't crazy unless you're playing chicken with another jumper.

And when you get to Alexandria, Va, look me up.
Will do.

And if you want to read the absolute crazient/stupidest thing I've ever done, search for the "Police Brutality" thread and read my initial post.

Bah, heard it before. Your fans demand new material.

Um...

*flips through notes*

...ducttape kid to toilet...
...thrown out of pickup truck...
...riding bike off cliff...
...picked up by cops naked...
...rescued by firefighters from mudpit...
...The Connecticut Glue War...
...Groin strikes for cash...
...peeing on an electric fence...
...skunk hunting...

wow. I can't believe how many of my A-1 stories I've shared! :eek:

*thinks*

Here's anothe Ape tale:

This one was from my college days. We were at the beach along with some other friends and our significant others. We had a keg and were having a very good time. Anyhoo... someone brought a camcorder. As the camcorder is recording some rather dull stuff, I decide to give the cameragirl(My psychotic ex-girlfriend) a show. I sneak up behind Ape and in one swift movement, I grab his shorts, yank em down and trip him as I pull them off and scamper down the beach. Soon, a bareassed Ape is giving chase. I'm faster, though and as he chases me up and down the beach for several minutes, I whoop and swing his shorts around over my head. Well, I run through my crowd of friends and one of them trips me by 'accident'. Ape catches up and tackles me. He then reaches between my legs, grabs my balls and literally picks me up by them. I'm howling, of course as he mercilessly crushes my boys nearly flat, picks me up(thankfully with the aid of his other hand on my chest), lifts me over his head and literally bodyslams me into the sand. Then he reclaims his shorts and walks off. I eventually recover.

The whole incident was caught on tape. Fortunately, I haven't seen that tape in years. Since my psychotic ex-girlfriend's equally psychotic brother tried to kill me.

Nothing too bad, personally. Well, aside from drunken idiocity and the public urination that goes with it. >.>

Oh, way too many stories to fit on this forum... but there was this time I made my friend smoke crushed Cuttlefish in a pipe... he was sick for hours. :D

That's unbelievably awesome. *writes it down* :p

I happen to have a lesbian friend who insisted I accompany her to a party. Turned out I was the only guy, as well as the only straight person there. I managed to make it out with penis intact, and a bit of an adventure to brag about. Not to much more than that though. hehe.

oh yeah, and boring as it was, I was the only sober one there too.

Um...

*flips through notes*

...ducttape kid to toilet...
...thrown out of pickup truck...
...riding bike off cliff...
...picked up by cops naked...
...rescued by firefighters from mudpit...
...The Connecticut Glue War...
...Groin strikes for cash...
...peeing on an electric fence...
...skunk hunting...

wow. I can't believe how many of my A-1 stories I've shared! :eek:

*thinks*

Here's anothe Ape tale:

This one was from my college days. We were at the beach along with some other friends and our significant others. We had a keg and were having a very good time. Anyhoo... someone brought a camcorder. As the camcorder is recording some rather dull stuff, I decide to give the cameragirl(My psychotic ex-girlfriend) a show. I sneak up behind Ape and in one swift movement, I grab his shorts, yank em down and trip him as I pull them off and scamper down the beach. Soon, a bareassed Ape is giving chase. I'm faster, though and as he chases me up and down the beach for several minutes, I whoop and swing his shorts around over my head. Well, I run through my crowd of friends and one of them trips me by 'accident'. Ape catches up and tackles me. He then reaches between my legs, grabs my balls and literally picks me up by them. I'm howling, of course as he mercilessly crushes my boys nearly flat, picks me up(thankfully with the aid of his other hand on my chest), lifts me over his head and literally bodyslams me into the sand. Then he reclaims his shorts and walks off. I eventually recover.

The whole incident was caught on tape. Fortunately, I haven't seen that tape in years. Since my psychotic ex-girlfriend's equally psychotic brother tried to kill me.


Horray!

I happen to have a lesbian friend who insisted I accompany her to a party. Turned out I was the only guy, as well as the only straight person there. I managed to make it out with penis intact, and a bit of an adventure to brag about. Not to much more than that though. hehe.

oh yeah, and boring as it was, I was the only sober one there too.

You should have invited them to have pissing/spitting competitions. :p hehe.

Horray!

Sure. Cheer my pain. :(

;)

Sure. Cheer my pain. :(

;)

I have to wonder. Your chemist friend's revenge didn't involve laxatives by any chance, did it?

I have to wonder. Your chemist friend's revenge didn't involve laxatives by any chance, did it?

No. It involved a hose, a miracle-gro hose bottle and a concoction based on butyl selenomercaptan(sp?). It is the 'active ingredient' in skunk musk. :(

I'll start out with the weirdest thing I ever did:

It was a few years ago on Good Friday, when some friends and I met to discuss a birthday present for another friend, whose birthday is on the 1st of April.
1st of April is my birthday too! Brilliant story.

Sure. Cheer my pain. :(

;)

I was cheering cos you had a new story :D

"What is the craziest thing you've ever done?"

Um ... jumping out of perfectly good airplanes in flight?

Then again, there was that weekend with the two young ladies from Virginia with the handcuffs, blindfolds and a gallon of vegetable oil. :D

Standing in the open while people about 200 yards away shot at me.

:confused: Standing in the open while people about 200 yards away shot at me.
Dude! WTF, over?

:confused:
Dude! WTF, over?

First Gulf War. It only took a second or two to realize they weren't going to hit me, or anyone else. This is the number one reason I said in another thread that Arabs can't shoot to save their own lives.

Watching several spray full auto from the hip from over 200 yards away is an interesting lesson in how Hollywood has completely deceived people as to the actual effectiveness of firearms.

I was cheering cos you had a new story :D

Probably the only reason I didn't tell it earlier is I'm not sure how the mods would have reacted on the old NationStates to a story about a naked man grabbing my genitals. ;)

First Gulf War. It only took a second or two to realize they weren't going to hit me, or anyone else. This is the number one reason I said in another thread that Arabs can't shoot to save their own lives.

Watching several spray full auto from the hip from over 200 yards away is an interesting lesson in how Hollywood has completely deceived people as to the actual effectiveness of firearms.
Heh! I have always maintained that aimed fire is the only truly effective fire.

Heh! I have always maintained that aimed fire is the only truly effective fire.

I learned that if someone is doing the "from the hip" method, he's an amateur. If he brings it to his shoulder and aims at you, he's trying very, very hard to kill you.

Returned my libary books two days overdue, and put an extra sugar in my tea once.
The adrenalin rushes on both occasions nearly made me swoon.

It would probably be the time at MegaZone (similar to Laser Quest) me and some friends got carried away and took another friend hostage. I chose the right moment to change sides, blasted my accomplice and escaped with the prisoner. Great fun.