NationStates Jolt Archive

I've decided to dispense free mental therapy to anyone who wants it. I'll help you with mental or emotional problems, big or small. And if you think I don't know about mental problems, I suggest you check some of my posts. I guarantee you'll get your money's worth when you try my free therapy, so don't be shy.

I've decided to dispense free mental therapy to anyone who wants it. I'll help you with mental or emotional problems, big or small. And if you think I don't know about mental problems, I suggest you check some of my posts. I guarantee you'll get your money's worth when you try my free therapy, so don't be shy.

Sam, my neighbor's dog, is putting pressure on me to do things I'm not quite sure are right. What should I do?

I know its wrong to sleep with a twelve yeard old Veitnamese prostitute...
But..what about a dead one?

Sam, my neigbours dog, is putting pressure on me to do things I'm not quite sure are right. What should I do?

ANSWER: You don't have to do what Sam says. You have the right to make your own decisions. You are your own person. You don't have to listen to him. Sometimes people (and dogs) will give you the cold shoulder if you don't do what they want, but that's okay. It's not a disaster. Even if you have to end your relationship with Sam, you can always make friends with other neigbour's dogs. However, if Sam continues to be a nuisence, I suggest you see your local mental health practicioner who will probably have a wide variety of medicines that will stop Sam talking to you. The funny thing about these medications is that you take them, not Sam. It's a kind of magic.

Oh... thank you... I need help... every time I try to write anything, I

OMG j00 G3Y fagot usama bloes ur towers @ nite lol!!1!!

*Slaps self*

Please! Help me before it's too late!

...

pwn4ge lol11

I know its wrong to sleep with a twelve yeard old Veitnamese prostitute...
But..what about a dead one?

You'll have to wait at least four more years, depending on the age of consent. You'll also need a good psychic to obtain that consent.

Oh... thank you... I need help... every time I try to write anything, I

OMG j00 G3Y fagot usama bloes ur towers @ nite lol!!1!!

*Slaps self*

Please! Help me before it's too late!

...

pwn4ge lol11

Slap yourself BEFORE you start typing.

You'll have to wait at least four more years, depending on the age of consent. You'll also need a good psychic to obtain that consent.


well then....is it rape if its dead?

well then....is it rape if its dead?

BackwoodsSquatches, I'm beginning to think that your problem is deeper than I first thought. At first I thought you were joking, but your inability to comprehend my humourous response has caused me to develop huge concerns about the state of your mental health. I'd like you to think carefully about your facination with the dead. Firstly, as a practical measure, you can obtain psysical closeness with the nonliving by purchasing an inflatable doll. Secondly, I'd like you to consider the practicality of wanting to engage in acts of a sexual nature with the dead. This can result in prolonged jail sentences. Fortunately there are plenty of examples of people legally enjoying themselves immensely with the living, and I see no reason why you can't enjoy yourself in a similar way. I'd like you to relax yourself and then imagine enjoying in consensual sexual activity with an adult. If you feel anxious or revulsed, relax yourself again and continue with the mental exercise until you can imagine yourself enjoying it. After doing this everyday for a month, then you'll be ready to practice with a real person. I think a prostitute may be your best bet. Good luck.

BackwoodsSquatches, I'm beginning to think that your problem is deeper than I first thought. At first I thought you were joking, but your inability to comprehend my humourous response has caused me to develop huge concerns about the state of your mental health. I'd like you to think carefully about your facination with the dead. Firstly, as a practical measure, you can obtain psysical closeness with the nonliving by purchasing an inflatable doll. Secondly, I'd like you to consider the practicality of wanting to engage in acts of a sexual nature with the dead. This can result in prolonged jail sentences. Fortunately there are plenty of examples of people legally enjoying themselves immensely with the living, and I see no reason why you can't enjoy yourself in a similar way. I'd like you to relax yourself and then imagine enjoying in consensual sexual activity with an adult. If you feel anxious or revulsed, relax yourself again and continue with the mental exercise until you can imagine yourself enjoying it. After doing this everyday for a month, then you'll be ready to practice with a real person. I think a prostitute may be your best bet. Good luck.

Hmmm..I dunno..dead girls never asked to be held after sex.
A dead girl will never leave you. (unless someone buries her)
A dead girl will never talk endlessly.
You dont have to pretend to be interested in anything the dead girl says.
A dead girl will never ask you "Does this make me look fat?"

See...there are all kinds of reasons.

Hmmm..I dunno..dead girls never asked to be held after sex.
A dead girl will never leave you. (unless someone buries her)
A dead girl will never talk endlessly.
You dont have to pretend to be interested in anything the dead girl says.
A dead girl will never ask you "Does this make me look fat?"

See...there are all kinds of reasons.

Exactly, you keep telling yourself these reasons. If you stopped telling yourself these reasons, that your natural biological desire to engage in sex with live people would probably reassert itself.

I can't help you if you don't want to be helped, but there are pretty big disadvantages to having a dead lover:

Jail
Unpopularity
Bad smells
Flies
Your girlfriend can't operate heavy machinery
Getting written out of your parents will after you bring her around to meet the folks.
Lack of conversation.
She goes to pieces on you.
And the main one - Boredom and the lack of challenge.

Now it can be difficult to change, but it's not impossible. You can't avoid the dark side of necrophillia. Think carefully about your life and think of the advantages of having living sexual partners, and when you think about sex with the dead, challenge those ideas. Are they helping you be the sort of person you want to be?

Here are some rational ideas for you to challenge your current beliefs with:

1. Dead girls never asked to be held after sex.

Holding a live girl after sex won't hurt you, and if you don't want to hold her you don't have to.

2. A dead girl will never leave you. (unless someone buries her)

If a live girl leaves you, you can find someone else. It's not a disaster.

3. A dead girl will never talk endlessly.

She won't talk at all, which has its disadvantages. If you're not into talking you can always find a quite partner, or failing that, invest in ear plugs.

4. You dont have to pretend to be interested in anything the dead girl says.

You don't have to pretend to be interested in what live girls say. You can find one that actually says things you find interesting.

5. A dead girl will never ask you "Does this make me look fat?"

Just answer yes. It's so simple.

Now pork the living, Goddamit! (But bathe first.)

I see myself as Hitler by L`oreal.
:(

Ok, I've got a question, but it's complicated. You might want to get a snack or something first, ok?

- My friend (known as 'ONE') has been with his girlfriend seven months. They live together and are very strange, but mostly very happy.
- Another friend ('TWO') is having some sort of relationship with ONE,
- ONE cannot choose between his girlfriend and TWO
- TWO and I recently started having some sort of relationship
- This is a little weird as TWO and I are both female, and have previously only dated members of the opposite sex
- Also because TWO and I are close friends ourselves, and also
- Close friends with ONE, and it occurs to me that this MIGHT count as betraying him.

What do I do?

I keep thinking I'm a human. Do you know why this happens?

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

I'm addicted to NS. I have an exam tmr morning and I'm supposed to go to bed......

Also...although my class seems to be all-loving, there's actually a lot of girlie, unimportant, petty bickering. I know I'll never have to see them again (graduation in a week), but I don't feel good.

I keep thinking I'm a human. Do you know why this happens?

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe
I'll field this one. You hang around with lesser beings far too often, allowing them to think you are 'just like them'. Get back on your throne, blow up a few planets, torture a few random species into extinction...

You'll soon feel your old, superior being.

I'll field this one. You hang around with lesser beings far too often, allowing them to think you are 'just like them'. Get back on your throne, blow up a few planets, torture a few random species into extinction...

You'll soon feel your old, superior being.Thanks for the advice. *blows up TTOL*

Tomorrow's news headlines had better mention the disappearance of 500 people over this week from London!

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

I see myself as Hitler by L`oreal.
You mean by the river L'oreal? Well in that case I suggest you perform the following test. Look at your reflection in the water. Do you have a small mustache? Are you over one hundred and ten years old? Has suffering from Parkinson's disease for over sixty years made you appear to be constantly breakdancing? Do you have Himmler's teeth marks on a sensitive piece of your anatomy? If you answered yes to these questions, then you may well be Hitler by the L'oreal. Get away from the water, you evil spastic. You'll fall in if you keep break dancing like that.

Ok, I've got a question, but it's complicated. You might want to get a snack or something first, ok?

- My friend (known as 'ONE') has been with his girlfriend seven months. They live together and are very strange, but mostly very happy.
- Another friend ('TWO') is having some sort of relationship with ONE,
- ONE cannot choose between his girlfriend and TWO
- TWO and I recently started having some sort of relationship
- This is a little weird as TWO and I are both female, and have previously only dated members of the opposite sex
- Also because TWO and I are close friends ourselves, and also
- Close friends with ONE, and it occurs to me that this MIGHT count as betraying him.

What do I do?


This is a tough one. I think I'll need video of your interaction with two to decide the best course of action for you.

Until the video arrives, think through the situation and do whatever you think will maximise your long term pleasure.

Please hurry with the video. I want to help you.

I keep thinking I'm a human. Do you know why this happens?

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe
Don't feel bad, I have a lot in common with monkeys. You probably just need to spend more time communeing with superior beings. Log onto NS forums more often.

Help!

First of all, I am a very immature person, who despite having a beautiful wife and devastatingly cute child cannot ever take anything that isn't life and/or health-threatening seriously. Everything is a joke to me.

Second, I am oddly fixated on mud. Not in a sexual way. Well, not ONLY in a sexual way. ;) But I love playing in mud.

Third, I have little regard for my body. I often tackle shrubbery, lawn furniture and much larger friends who tend to chase me down, catch me, and powerbomb me onto the turf. I play football and rugby for fun with people who outweigh me by as much as one hundred pounds.

Finally, I'm oddly amused by people getting hit in the groin. My favorite, of course, being when I hit other people in the groin. However, even when I, myself, are the victim of such a strike, and I lie gasping and writhing on the ground, I still find myself laughing at the comical absurdity of me. This has, much to my chagrin, convinced people that it's okay to strike me in the groin. Which is hard to argue since I take every opportunity to do so to others.

What the hell is wrong with me? :(

I'm addicted to NS. I have an exam tmr morning and I'm supposed to go to bed......

So you want to do something, but you find your not doing it. Often when this happens to people it's because they have one idea, that they should do something, but they also have other ideas, that they may not be fully aware of. For example, "It's not fair that I should have to go to bed. I want to enjoy NS forums." Or, "I'm going to fail this test anyway, so there's no point studying." Or, "Phylum Chordata is such a great poster I want to incubate his/her zygotes within me." You have to challenge these irrational beliefs. (Except for the last one, that's not irrational) Fight them! Get angry with them! Shout them down! For example: "WHY ISN'T IT FAIR THAT I NEED SLEEP! THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS! PEOPLE NEED SLEEP TO FUNCTION WELL AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT THAT! IF I DON'T SLEEP NOW, I'LL SUFFER FOR IT TOMORROW. I'M HURTING MYSELF BY NOT SLEEPING! I'M BEING UNETHICAL TOWARDS ME!"

"MAYBE I'LL FAIL THIS TEST, BUT I CAN AT LEAST TRY. IT WON'T HURT ME TO TRY MY BEST. IT MIGHT BE DIFFICULT, BUT IT'S A CHALLENGE. IF I NEVER CHALLENGE MYSELF, LIFE WILL BE PRETTY BORING."

"MAYBE IF I SENT PHYUM CHORDATA SOME VIDEO FOOTAGE OF MYSELF, HE/SHE/IT WOULD BECOME PARTIAL TO ZYGOTE IMPLANTATION."

I hope this has been of help to you.

Help!

First of all, I am a very immature person, who despite having a beautiful wife and devastatingly cute child cannot ever take anything that isn't life and/or health-threatening seriously. Everything is a joke to me.

Second, I am oddly fixated on mud. Not in a sexual way. Well, not ONLY in a sexual way. But I love playing in mud.

Third, I have little regard for my body. I often tackle shrubbery, lawn furniture and much larger friends who tend to chase me down, catch me, and powerbomb me onto the turf. I play football and rugby for fun with people who outweigh me by as much as one hundred pounds.

Finally, I'm oddly amused by people getting hit in the groin. My favorite, of course, being when I hit other people in the groin. However, even when I, myself, are the victim of such a strike, and I lie gasping and writhing on the ground, I still find myself laughing at the comical absurdity of me. This has, much to my chagrin, convinced people that it's okay to strike me in the groin. Which is hard to argue since I take every opportunity to do so to others.

What the hell is wrong with me?

You suffer from a very common syndrome known as being an idiot. This is caused by not thinking through the consequences of your actions. That's what's wrong with you.

I want you to think carefully about what thoughts go through your mind when you engage in self destructive behavior. Do you think it's important to show that you're tough? Do you think it's important to impress people? Do you enjoy an adrenaline rush when you're bounced off the ground? Do you seriously think that the reward of laughter is worth having bruised testicals?

Then you need to challange these thoughts. What benefit does showing you're tough have? Are the people it impresses worth impressing? Will I be able to walk when I'm forty after being bounced off the ground so many times? Do I want to have another child?

You know, I don't normally go in for Freudian stuff, but you do seem to be attempting auto casteration here.

Think about the conseqences of your actions and you'll no longer be such a moron. Spend more time thinking about and playing with your child, who probably isn't strong enough to kick your balls into your neck.

P.S. What happens between a consenting adult and a puddle of mud is no one's concern.

You suffer from a very common syndrome known as being an idiot. This is caused by not thinking through the consequences of your actions. That's what's wrong with you.

I want you to think carefully about what thoughts go through your mind when you engage in self destructive behavior. Do you think it's important to show that you're tough? Do you think it's important to impress people? Do you enjoy an adrenaline rush when you're bounced off the ground? Do you seriously think that the reward of laughter is worth having bruised testicals?

Then you need to challange these thoughts. What benefit does showing you're tough have? Are the people it impresses worth impressing? Will I be able to walk when I'm forty after being bounced off the ground so many times? Do I want to have another child?

You know, I don't normally go in for Freudian stuff, but you do seem to be attempting auto casteration here.

Think about the conseqences of your actions and you'll no longer be such a moron. Spend more time thinking about and playing with your child, who probably isn't strong enough to kick your balls into your neck.

P.S. What happens between a consenting adult and a puddle of mud is no one's concern.

YAY! :D There's a name for what's wrong with me! :D

Don't feel bad, I have a lot in common with monkeys. You probably just need to spend more time communeing with superior beings. Log onto NS forums more often.I don't remember ever being off the NS forums...

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

I don't remember ever being off the NS forums...

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe
I always assumed your presence here was only a mere particle of your true being. I should have said, devote a greater fraction of your intellect to NS forums.

My appologies, oh great one.

I always assumed your presence here was only a mere particle of your true being. I should have said, devote a greater fraction of your intellect to NS forums.

My appologies, oh great one.Your apologies accepted, Phylum Chordata.

And yes, my presence here is only one of my consciousnesses. Others are engaged on Earth, signing treaties, working...and so on. It's not possible for a single-consciousness being such as you to understand the multiple consciousness concept very well. Some humans have incomplete divine powers, but are said to be crazy and have multiple personality disorder. This is an example of the omnipresent human error in assuming that those different from them are either crazy or evil. For more information, ask Anikian, who's currently serving as God, on his thread.

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

Ok, I've got a question, but it's complicated. You might want to get a snack or something first, ok?

- My friend (known as 'ONE') has been with his girlfriend seven months. They live together and are very strange, but mostly very happy.
- Another friend ('TWO') is having some sort of relationship with ONE,
- ONE cannot choose between his girlfriend and TWO
- TWO and I recently started having some sort of relationship
- This is a little weird as TWO and I are both female, and have previously only dated members of the opposite sex
- Also because TWO and I are close friends ourselves, and also
- Close friends with ONE, and it occurs to me that this MIGHT count as betraying him.

What do I do?
You should all have an orgy.

I have this problem where I rest compulsively and don't want to work.

I have this problem where I rest compulsively and don't want to work.

Maybe you don't want to work because you don't like it? Perhaps you should experiment with not working and see if your life improves. If you find yourself sleeping outside in garbage and emaciating to death, perhaps you will realize the benefits of work outweigh the disadvantages. Of course, it is difficult to get a job when you are weak and smell of garbage, so make you you keep some clean clothes and soap handy.

If you don't want to do this experiment, (some people have no sense of scientific enquiry), then I suggest you do it in your head. Go over the pros and cons of wrok vs. rest, and see if the pros of working, getting stuff done, and actually living a life outweigh lying in bed and playing with your keyboard. Maybe you will decide to compromise. Even if you are completely apathetic, you can force yourself to work for ten minutes, so set a timer and work for that long. You will often find that once you have started, it's not too difficult to continue, and even if you don't continue, at least you'll have done ten minutes worth of work.

Can you help? I have a fascination with having sex with dead dogs especially really young puppies. The other day my dog had a litter of puppies and it was all bloody and everything and I put it on my pecker and had a right good time with it.

Is it against the law to have sex with animals? How can I overcome my fascination with my desires?

You're funny Chordata. :)

Anyway, I have a problem. When I go to school people begin to call me names like "Fag", "Loser", "Nerd", "Fat fuck", etc. I tell them it makes me feel uncomfortable but they proceed to punch and kick me. Is there a reason why this is happening? How can I stop this?

Is it against the law to have sex with animals?

Yes.

How can I overcome my fascination with my desires?

Take two 9mm bullets and see me in the morning.

My girlfriend is pissed at me about something. I don't know what it is. I ask her what's wrong and she won't tell me. I bought her chocolate, but all she would tell me was "you know what i'm mad about." I calmly tried to explain to her that the reason why I asked what was wrong was because I in fact didn't know what was wrong, and I wanted to find out. So she tried to use the Socratic method on me, to lead me to the answer. It didn't work---I still have no idea what she's mad about.

So what's she mad about? What do I do? Is it just that time of month?

You're funny Chordata.

Anyway, I have a problem. When I go to school people begin to call me names like "Fag", "Loser", "Nerd", "Fat fuck", etc. I tell them it makes me feel uncomfortable but they proceed to punch and kick me. Is there a reason why this is happening? How can I stop this?

MALE FANTASY ANSWER: Learn Kung-fu, and then next time someone picks on you, kick him in the groin so hard he'll have an extra set of kidneys.

RATIONAL ANSWER: It is not a terrible thing to be insulted. No matter what they say it cannot actually physically harm you. Don't let their insults get you down. If they actually punch and kick you, that's assault. Report it to the authorities.

REALITY OF THE SITUATION ANSWER, TAKING INTO ACCOUNT WE'RE ALL JUST BIG MONKEYS: Don't think that those shits picking on you can be swayed by reason. They're just playing a dominance game. Don't explain how you feel to them, that just makes them think you are weak and they feel good to have gotten under your skin. Instead, when they insult you, give a response that shows you are not going to be pushed around, but which won't escalate the situation.

"Yeah, right."
"I don't have time for this crap."
"Haven't you got anything better to do than get in my face?"
"It's sad that you feel the need to pick on me."

Say it assertively.

Then when someone lays a hand on you, go ballistic. Use your weight to push them back and then start shouting at them, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME! WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TRYING TO DO!" Keep eye contact and act like a furious crazy man when you do this. They will probably back down, and start to leave you alone. You will have demonstrated that they can't dominate you.

You may get hit when this happens. I'd say it's better to take the hit and then go to the cops than it is to fight and risk getting your teeth kicked in, but if you do fight, even if you lose, they will see that they can't push you around anymore.

I know this advice might not sound completely rational, but it is probably for the best. It is risky, but life is full of risks. It's important because I'm afraid that many women (and or men) won't feel attracted to you if people can push you around.

My girlfriend is pissed at me about something. I don't know what it is. I ask her what's wrong and she won't tell me. I bought her chocolate, but all she would tell me was "you know what i'm mad about." I calmly tried to explain to her that the reason why I asked what was wrong was because I in fact didn't know what was wrong, and I wanted to find out. So she tried to use the Socratic method on me, to lead me to the answer. It didn't work---I still have no idea what she's mad about.

So what's she mad about? What do I do? Is it just that time of month?

Don't give candy to children when they throw tantrums, and don't give chocolate to girlfriends when they are upset. Would you respect someone who tried to buy your affection?

Don't reason with her. That's no fun. Make jokes about it instead. "Sorry, along with every other man in the world, my telepathic powers aren't working today." Or, "I don't care if you're upset, I came here for a backrub. If you don't feel like giving me one that's okay, I'll find somebody else. Bye." Then walk out the door. Don't play games and don't act like it's your job to nurture her emotions. Tell her you're not her girlfriend, you're her man. It's your job to make her life exciting, not to be her therapist. Don't chase her, she'll get into a habit of running, and you'll end up exhausting yourself.

You're in this relationship because you enjoy each others company, right? Well you're not enjoying each other's company now, so spend less time with her. Pay more attention to other women, develop some other romantic prospects in case things don't turn out. She'll probably start missing you, and start chasing you, but if she doesn't, find someone new and don't get into the habit of being their therapist.

This is a tough one. I think I'll need video of your interaction with two to decide the best course of action for you.

Until the video arrives, think through the situation and do whatever you think will maximise your long term pleasure.

Please hurry with the video. I want to help you.

HMM.

simple. what in the fuck is wrong with me?

I have a serious problem. I have been a very dominate person all my life. I have been the dominant one in almost every relationship in my life. This includes boyfriends, husband (ex), siblings and even my mother.
I have a roommate who has also been like this most of his life.
How can I convince him that being the smarter, more mature and most world-wise in the household, that I should be in charge?

simple. what in the fuck is wrong with me?

1. You don't provide enough infomation.

2. You're human. Get used to it.

Sometimes I like walking backwards, this can go on for days sometimes.

I have a serious problem. I have been a very dominate person all my life. I have been the dominant one in almost every relationship in my life. This includes boyfriends, husband (ex), siblings and even my mother.
I have a roommate who has also been like this most of his life.
How can I convince him that being the smarter, more mature and most world-wise in the household, that I should be in charge?

Throw your weight around and act like a real arsehole.

But don't blame me if you end up without any friends, or only spinless dweebs who let you push them around.

Or you could grow up a little and realize there are satisfactions to be gained from life that don't depend on dominating others. There are pleasures to be gained from dealing with people as equals. That your way or the highway can be a suckful way.

You can give people the freedom to make their own decisions and their mistakes, and butt out of their lives and spend more of your time and energy on your own pleasure.

But if you don't want to do that, just throw your weight around and act like a real arsehole. That should do it.

Sometimes I like walking backwards, this can go on for days sometimes.

If you like walking backwards, then what's the problem?

If you're worried about what people think you can always walk backwards for charity. Or you could just not worry what other people think.

Anyone who knows the liberation of rediscovering repressed memories might also know that peculiar sense of feeling absolute despair without being able to identify the catalyst for that despair.

When I was a kid, my siblings and I spent a prolonged period of time in an extremely abusive living situation, sans parents for a number of reasons. I made frequent attempts to discuss the abuse in my awkward, inarticulate childlike way whenever I had contact with my parents. Their response was dismissive, in the vein of "If a boy is cruel to you, it means he likes you" and similar convenient myths.

Recently, my parents and I were discussing nothing in particular over a few drinks, and that period in our childhood came up. My mother exclaimed that she'd observed how my sister seemed to be going through a "rough patch" during that time, and that my mother never knew why she seemed so different during that time.

I was livid, but years of repression has enabled me to curb my reactions in the interest of social hypocrisy. I had told them about the abuse when it happened, and they dismissed it. My sister had been suicidal and vocal about it, and they couldn't put two and two together. I've sometimes wondered if I'd been more vocal to the right people, rather than just endured the abuse, maybe I would have been offered real help instead of being praised for my lack of complaint.

I wondered why I was feeling so non-specifically pissed off. Four days later I realised it was this conversation, and all of the emotions associated with it. It seemed fitting to rant about it in your Free Therapy thread, as I'm such a DIY devotee in matters of the mind. Sorry to kill the flippant mood of the thread, but I needed to rant.

Anyone who knows the liberation of rediscovering repressed memories might also know that peculiar sense of feeling absolute despair without being able to identify the catalyst for that despair.

When I was a kid, my siblings and I spent a prolonged period of time in an extremely abusive living situation, sans parents for a number of reasons. I made frequent attempts to discuss the abuse in my awkward, inarticulate childlike way whenever I had contact with my parents. Their response was dismissive, in the vein of "If a boy is cruel to you, it means he likes you" and similar convenient myths.

Recently, my parents and I were discussing nothing in particular over a few drinks, and that period in our childhood came up. My mother exclaimed that she'd observed how my sister seemed to be going through a "rough patch" during that time, and that my mother never knew why she seemed so different during that time.

I was livid, but years of repression has enabled me to curb my reactions in the interest of social hypocrisy. I had told them about the abuse when it happened, and they dismissed it. My sister had been suicidal and vocal about it, and they couldn't put two and two together. I've sometimes wondered if I'd been more vocal to the right people, rather than just endured the abuse, maybe I would have been offered real help instead of being praised for my lack of complaint.

I wondered why I was feeling so non-specifically pissed off. Four days later I realised it was this conversation, and all of the emotions associated with it. It seemed fitting to rant about it in your Free Therapy thread, as I'm such a DIY devotee in matters of the mind. Sorry to kill the flippant mood of the thread, but I needed to rant.

Dear Boodicka,

Sounds like you and your sister had a tough time. That's very unfortunate. However, we can't change the past.

It sounds like you are still pissed off it now. That is a very common reaction. But it can interfer with your enjoying life in the present. You don't have to let it. If you feel that it is interfering with your life, we can talk about that. If you just wanted to get it off your chest, that's fine too.

Phylum

However, we can't change the past.
Agreed. I'm not carrying the anger into the present, but annoyed that something I'd dealt with seemed to pop back into my life unexpectedly.

In relation to that matter, I also have an ongoing disagreement with my cat. She refused to open the front door for me, or put the kettle on, citing short legs and non-opposable thumbs as reasons why she cannot pull her weight around the house. Can you suggest a way we may compromise on these issues?

I also have an ongoing disagreement with my cat. She refused to open the front door for me, or put the kettle on, citing short legs and non-opposable thumbs as reasons why she cannot pull her weight around the house. Can you suggest a way we may compromise on these issues?

I'll put you in touch with a good genetic engineer. Or you could cut off your thumbs.

I'm perfect, so I don't need therapy... *twitch*

1. You don't provide enough infomation.

2. You're human. Get used to it.

1) i know, never do. hate talking about myself, mostly. makes me feel stupid. (ironic how im talking about how i hate to talk about myself.)

2) i've tried, i just cant. cant i change?

Dear Mr/Ms Chordata

I have a problem. Please help me.

My online fling wants to meet me in real life.

What should I do?

yours respectfully,
Happy

Posted by Funky Beat I'm perfect, so I don't need therapy... *twitch*
See everybody? Work at your mental health and you can be as healthy as Funky Beat!

[QUOTE=Phylum Chordata]If you like walking backwards, then what's the problem?

Keep running into people, this tends to get me into serious arguements sometimes.

You're human. Get used to it.
i've tried, i just cant. cant i change?
If you tell yourself that you can't get used to it you won't. It may be difficult for you to get used to it, but that doesn't mean that you can't.

Being human isn't easy, and it is often the little things that freak us out. I mean, what the hell is earwax anyway?

In that Star Trek episode where Q, a super intelligent space alien, became human, it would have been much more realistic if he had started screaming, "Help me! Help me! There is crap coming out of my arse! I knew the two concepts were related, but I didn't know it was like this!"

None-the-less, we are stuck being human. Or fairly close in some cases. But have you considered turning not being used to being human to your advantage? You could become one of those stand up comedians who continually go on about pointless crap all humans have to deal with.

Dear Mr/Ms Chordata

I have a problem. Please help me.

My online fling wants to meet me in real life.

What should I do?

yours respectfully,
Happy

I wouldn't meet anyone I had met online, unless that person had done something exceptional that demonstrates the depth of their compassion, such as giving away free therapy on NS forums.

So, are you the male or the female of your species?

If you like walking backwards, then what's the problem? Keep running into people, this tends to get me into serious arguements sometimes.
Install rear view mirrors. Problem solved.

Install rear view mirrors. Problem solved.

Ok, I'll try it.

Yes.



Take two 9mm bullets and see me in the morning.

Thanks for that oh great one. I have a problem with your solution.

If having sex with a dog is illegal, what about a dead dog? I mean I think I would get the same pleasure out of having sex with a bloody liver and I think that is not illegal. Like a dog liver all nice and bloody. So should I cut the dog up in bits to make my pleasure legal? Anyway, do you have a suggestion for a replacement I use instead? I have tried blow up doll but the feeling is just not the same.

Also, I have a problem about taking 2 x 9mm bullets as I live in the Great Kingdom of England and you can't buy 9mm bullets very easily. If I live in the US it would be great for someone who is as mental as me as I will be able to get my hands on a AK47 and will blast all the puppies in site and maybe some more. BTW do I take the 9mm bullets with water and it is before or after a meal? Thanks.

Recently, my thoughts have became unclear, and I have problem concentrating.
I kept getting confused, and in lecturers...couldn't even understand the simplest of things say. I keep doubting my thoughts, and observing everything that I am thinking or saying that it's disrupting the 'thinking' itself. I think its called a 'formal thought disorder'. That hasn't happend until I came 'here' for my studies overseas. Seem to be clearing up slightly now though. Interesting to hear your comments about this.
Was I suffering from an early stage of psychosis? :)

Sorry about the english if you find it hard to read.

Recently, my thoughts have became unclear, and I have problem concentrating.
I kept getting confused, and in lecturers...couldn't even understand the simplest of things say. I I think its called a 'formal thought disorder'. That hasn't happend until I came 'here' for my studies overseas. Seem to be clearing up slightly now though. Interesting to hear your comments about this.
Was I suffering from an early stage of psychosis?

Sorry about the english if you find it hard to read.

Yes, you could have been suffering from the early stage of psychosis, but probably just the usual everyday psychosis that anyone might sufferer from if they had the stress of moving to a new country, trying to understand lectures in a second language, jetlag, and too much coffee.

keep doubting my thoughts, and observing everything that I am thinking or saying that it's disrupting the 'thinking' itself.

You're not studing psychology or philosophy are you? They can really mess you up. Maths and physics can really mess you up too, if you make the mistake of asking yourself, "Why does 2+2=4?" Your problem could merely be the result of your brain learning to think in a new way.

Anyway, practical advice. If you want to keep your mind on matters at hand, you can set yourself a goal of two pages (or whatever) of notes per lecture. A practical mindset, focused on dealing with problems at hand will keep you too busy for much introspection. And if you do get introsective, don't worry about it, it won't kill you, or even hurt you. Get plenty of sleep, and lay off drugs, caffeine included.

And if you have some serious problems and are going psychotic in a way that distresses you, you can get medicine these days that is usually quite effective. (Of course, problems arise if you go psychotic in a way that distresses other people, but you enjoy.)

Take care, and good luck with your studies.

Posted by Funky Beat
See everybody? Work at your mental health and you can be as healthy as Funky Beat!

ROFL! Thankyou Phylum, for making me laugh... *twitch*

I need not therapy-for I have had far too much-eth for thist lifetime. :p

Thanks Chordata! That was really good advice...!

Btw, It's kind of gotten better now...
I really thought I was going crazy awhile back..

I'm studying physics, and I've been reading a lot of Kant's so yeh, I guess that could be the problem. And english isn't my first language...so that could have added to the confusion that my mind's experiencing...and...I keep beind held back with silly question like what you've said "why does 2+2=4"...that kind of 'obvious' questions...

Thanks.

Cheers,
Wade

Yes, you could have been suffering from the early stage of psychosis, but probably just the usual everyday psychosis that anyone might sufferer from if they had the stress of moving to a new country, trying to understand lectures in a second language, jetlag, and too much coffee.



You're not studing psychology or philosophy are you? They can really mess you up. Maths and physics can really mess you up too, if you make the mistake of asking yourself, "Why does 2+2=4?" Your problem could merely be the result of your brain learning to think in a new way.

Anyway, practical advice. If you want to keep your mind on matters at hand, you can set yourself a goal of two pages (or whatever) of notes per lecture. A practical mindset, focused on dealing with problems at hand will keep you too busy for much introspection. And if you do get introsective, don't worry about it, it won't kill you, or even hurt you. Get plenty of sleep, and lay off drugs, caffeine included.

And if you have some serious problems and are going psychotic in a way that distresses you, you can get medicine these days that is usually quite effective. (Of course, problems arise if you go psychotic in a way that distresses other people, but you enjoy.)

Take care, and good luck with your studies.

Thanks Chordata! That was really good advice...!

Gee, I feel warm all over. My pleasure WadeGabriel.

I need not therapy-for I have had far too much-eth for thist lifetime.
Yes, but have you tried my patented relaxation therapy, where I scream in your face, "GET OVER IT, YOU PATHETIC LUMP OF CRUD! STOP GOING OVER AND OVER IN YOUR HEAD ABOUT STUPID MISTAKES YOU MADE IN THE PAST AND GET A LIFE, GODDAMMIT!"

Well, it helps me to relax...

No one has posted for about 24 hours. My work here must be done. I must have cured all mental illness on NS forums. Yay! Now, where did I put my electroshock therapy equipment? I'm getting a little bored...

Very well.

Everyone is plotting against me. The government is monitoring this very forum post. What should I do?

Very well.

Everyone is plotting against me. The government is monitoring this very forum post. What should I do?

Eh? So what? The best thing you can do is enjoy your life desite all the people spying on you. Anyway, doesn't it make you feel kind of special that the goverment goes through all that trouble to keep tabs on little old you? You are capable of enjoying your life no matter how much people plot and backstab. And here's an important point. You are capable of enjoying your life even if people aren't plotting against you. You don't need them. You can still enjoy your life even if people aren't plotting against you. So just laugh it off, and enjoy your life as best you can. Damn those plotters!

Oh, and changing your online name to something that sounds less Arabic will probably also help.

About the threapy, how can I rule my nation without making the populace revolt of course they like me for boosting the civil rights and polical freedoms. But they think I might be a weak ruler.

The Comrade of Laritia
Regional Ambassador
Minister of Interior

About the threapy, how can I rule my nation without making the populace revolt of course they like me for boosting the civil rights and polical freedoms. But they think I might be a weak ruler.

The Comrade of Laritia
Regional Ambassador
Minister of Interior

Don't worry about it. It's no big deal. As long as you improve human rights you won't get dragged before an international court, and as long as the people are happy they won't revolt. Sometimes if people have been repressed for a long time, it all boils over once some of the pressure is relieved. I suggest a program of gradual reform, which will enable you to loosen the screws until you are able to throw out the thumbscrews all together.

Just the other day I saw a poster at the travel agent's saying, "Come to Sunny Laritia: We No Longer Torture Tourists!" That doesn't make me think you're weak, that makes me think you're a guy who is going places. I notice that you recently scrapped school uniforms. Soon your students will be too busy knifing each other over brand name sneakers to revolt, so relax. Your economy is going gangbusters, so just lower tax rates to keep people happy, you can afford it.

P.S. Stop accepting plane loads of prisoners from that guy in the cowboy hat. You know who I'm talking about. That shit will get you in front of the international criminal court.