Jalula
16-05-2005, 05:30
Hey folks. Just thinking of all the posts I've seen recently, and trying to come up with some simple guidelines to help newbies feel like experienced posters. Please, and and subtract and make these better!
1. IMPORTANT! Before any post, make sure your mind is already made up on the issue: it is important to be inflexible!
2. If you are:
a) Conservative. Compare your opponents to the French at least once. Tell them they are immoral and God is on your side. Try not to actually read their posts: just skim 'em, and reply to what you think their post might have been about.
b) Liberal. Start off complaining that the idiots the allow to vote picked W. Throw in at least 1 reference to Nazi Germany, preferably when discussing something moderate. Insult the intelligence of anyone who dares to disagree with you. Mention that the 'Left' isn't nearly left enough for you.
3. Make sure to use statistics and fact to support your cause. If you don't have any, make 'em up!
4.Pick the craziest, most offbeat voice from the enemy camp and address him as if he spoke for every one of your opponents.
5. Use plenty of ad hominem attacks.
6 IMPORTANT! Get the last word.
7. If you respond to someone else's thread, make sure you only read the last 2-3 posts.
8. When talking about how smart you are, make sure and misspell a few words.
9. DON'T assume ANYTHING is sarcasm or a joke.
10. Quantity is wayyyyyyyy more important than quality.
I'm sure I'm missing some...please help out!
1. IMPORTANT! Before any post, make sure your mind is already made up on the issue: it is important to be inflexible!
2. If you are:
a) Conservative. Compare your opponents to the French at least once. Tell them they are immoral and God is on your side. Try not to actually read their posts: just skim 'em, and reply to what you think their post might have been about.
b) Liberal. Start off complaining that the idiots the allow to vote picked W. Throw in at least 1 reference to Nazi Germany, preferably when discussing something moderate. Insult the intelligence of anyone who dares to disagree with you. Mention that the 'Left' isn't nearly left enough for you.
3. Make sure to use statistics and fact to support your cause. If you don't have any, make 'em up!
4.Pick the craziest, most offbeat voice from the enemy camp and address him as if he spoke for every one of your opponents.
5. Use plenty of ad hominem attacks.
6 IMPORTANT! Get the last word.
7. If you respond to someone else's thread, make sure you only read the last 2-3 posts.
8. When talking about how smart you are, make sure and misspell a few words.
9. DON'T assume ANYTHING is sarcasm or a joke.
10. Quantity is wayyyyyyyy more important than quality.
I'm sure I'm missing some...please help out!