NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm Catholic, but I'm not even sure of that anymore. My last class of the year was tonight, and instead of the informal, comfortable, open social setting I was led to believe, it was an all out preach-fest.

I'm so sick of the crap that is fed. I believe in God, but that's about all me and Catholicism have in common. I'm tired of hearing that we're all sinners. I'm tired of hearing that we're all unworthy of this, that, and that too. I'm tired of beign told how to live. I'm tired of being told how to think.

I'm not ready for confirmation. I have far too many questions and far too many problems with the Church. I've only gone this far for my mother's sake...But I'm tired of living a lie for someone else, tired of hiding my true feelings about he vaunted religion around her, tired of the guilt trip.

So tired of it all...

It sounds to me like you're not cut out to be a Christian. If there's even the broadest set of rules that you can agree is how God would want you to worship him, then don't you think that it's a bit dangerous to be saying "I don't want to be told how to live or think"?

There's a lot of people that believe in God but aren't willing to do what it takes to convince him that they're 'worthy'. And, of course, 'worthy' ultimately determines whether you go to heaven or hell, and those people are sitting in hell if there is one.

Obvious solution. Don't live the lie anymore. I agree with the preaching. I came from a Christian family, well for my grandparents anyway, and I decided to do things my way, and I'm a better person for it. If your only doing this to keep your mother happy, you will eventually be unhappy (tho it seems you already are), and you will endup resenting her for it. Talk to her and explain how you feel. I'm not a wise person - I'm only 19 - but I've been in a similar situation and it sucks, especially when you resent those closest to you for forcing you into something.

My mother used to be Catholic because her mother was Catholic. My mom hated the religion because the nuns at the Catholic Church taught her it was a sin to learn. Apparently that’s how she was taught in church, I don’t know about all other Catholics. Anyways my mother converted to Judaism because she wanted to learn, and Judaism is really big on philosophy and science. So then I was born Jewish. I’m not saying that Catholicism is a bad religion; I’m just saying my mom didn’t like it. I don’t think I would like it very much either.
Plus Jews don't believe in Hell and Satan. We believe that after we die, we go through a period of understanding and seeing what we did wrong and why it was wrong. And then we pass on into the presence of god, which is basically infinite. So the universe is ours to explore at no expense of time. We believe that in life we are punished for our sins and it all balances out to the afterlife.

Well you know what they say, once your confirmed you only have to go to church twice a year, Christmas and Easter.

Sorry, just a little Catholic humor. Welcome to the club of disillusioned Catholics, there's a bunch of us, you're not alone.

I don't want to sound like a wimp, but... Just stick it out, get confirmed and make your mom happy. You'll be on your own soon and won't have to put up with the tribal silliness for too much longer.

I don't want to sound like a wimp, but... Just stick it out, get confirmed and make your mom happy. You'll be on your own soon and won't have to put up with the tribal silliness for too much longer.

The big problem with this is that if this is the type of attitude this person takes then how will they make decisions on their own at all? My advice to the original poster is to look at all the angles and realize you dont have to make a choice now. Dont be forced into a situation you dont feel ready for or that you dont want to do.

Confirmation is a lifelong commitment. Don't go into that lightly. Make sure you're ready for it before you do it.

born and raised a Catholic for 20+ years now- did the confirmation thing too.
the true beginning is in philosophy- seriously, read up a bit on Buddhism, Confucanism and Taoism (Daoism). it really opened my mind when i hit college, it just clicked with me. no more gods and deities, they end up causing more people pain!!

If you don't really want to go ahead with the confirmation mate, talk to your folks- explain why you feel like you do. Hell, i even took on a few of my teachers when i was in secondary school (em.. thats high school for the yanks of you- i went to a school run by a religious order) . they couldn't answer my questions to my satisfaction- so i found something that did!

welcome to the club of dissillusioned Catholics indeed! ;)

If your deity cared about you going to church, during one of your prayers, he'd go:

"Hey.. hey.. hey.. Billy? Hey, Billy? Hey. Go to church, Billy. Hey. Church. Go to it. Hey. Come on. Church. Go to church. Alright? Yeah? Good. Kay. Later."

In an ideal world, I'd say now would be the time to quit attending the church for the moment, sit down, figure out whatever the absolute basics of what you believe are, and work from there. Figure out whatever it is that will actually work well for you.

Unfortunately, there's the whole parental pressure thing thrown in, and I don't know what to say about that.

Confirmation is a lifelong commitment. Don't go into that lightly. Make sure you're ready for it before you do it.I was confirmed and subsequently became disillusioned with the churches beliefs and have evolved agnostic beliefs. Nobody came and repossed my rosary. I still occasionally attend mass, I've even toyed with the idea of taking confession now that I'm going through a divorce (something I haven't done in 20 years). I won't compromise my beliefs but I still feel some comfort in the church. My big problem with organized religion is they take themselves too seriously and too ridgedly. The universe is too full of unknowns for the absolutes they preach. I'll take what I please from them and leave the rest, If they close their doors to me so be it.

But that has yet to happen and I doubt it ever will.

I'm Catholic, but I'm not even sure of that anymore. My last class of the year was tonight, and instead of the informal, comfortable, open social setting I was led to believe, it was an all out preach-fest.

I'm so sick of the crap that is fed. I believe in God, but that's about all me and Catholicism have in common. I'm tired of hearing that we're all sinners. I'm tired of hearing that we're all unworthy of this, that, and that too. I'm tired of beign told how to live. I'm tired of being told how to think.

I'm not ready for confirmation. I have far too many questions and far too many problems with the Church. I've only gone this far for my mother's sake...But I'm tired of living a lie for someone else, tired of hiding my true feelings about he vaunted religion around her, tired of the guilt trip.

So tired of it all...

I got confirmed last year and had some similar doubts. I decided that it wasn't worth the family drama and that I owed the church for my cheap private education. I also felt bad about turning my back on something my ancestors had been sent into exile over. Things in the church will change eventually anyway, so even if I don't agree over a few things now, hopefully their stance will moderate with time. That was my thinking at least.

She says that Catholicism is a good religion, even if there are a few things wrong with it.

The problem is I see more than just a "few things" wrong with Catholicism.

She says that Catholicism is a good religion, even if there are a few things wrong with it.

The problem is I see more than just a "few things" wrong with Catholicism.

If you see more than just a few things wrong with it, it obviously isn't for you. You need to sit down and think about it, read, find out more. Maybe find your own path. That's what I did, and yes my Catholic nan isn't happy with my choice, but
a) she still loves and respects me and my decision and
b)she lives three hrs away, so I rarely see her anyway

But more importantly my mum understands and respects my decision that I make - parents only want us to be happy, unless they're trolls in disguise. ;)

Expressing how you feel about this situation is important. I have gone through a situation similar to your own, in that my mother, a Catholic, wanted me to go to the church education seminars, or whatnot, in order to be confirmed. My situation varies with yours in that I was at odds with the entire belief system (the existence of God and the like), but for all intents and purposes, we were/are in a similar situation.

You and your mother are, of course, two different people, so it would seem logical that you and her would have varying ideologies concerning your religious beliefs. From what you've stated in your message, it sounds like you should take some time and reflect upon how you feel and what you believe. Some personal aspects, especially something as large and as important as a religious belief, take a long time to develop and mature; you shouldn't be expected to make a solid decision if you're uncomfortable about it.

I'd like to make a suggestion: let her know that you wouldn't be completely comfortable with going through with such a big decision like Confirmation at this point in time. Explain to her that you'd like more time to learn about religion and consider your own beliefs, so that you can make a better, more informed decision in the future. As Avios stated earlier, "Confirmation is a lifelong commitment". You don't need to make a decision now if you don't want to.

I apologize if I've misunderstood any aspect of your situation.

I apologize if I've misunderstood any aspect of your situation.

Not in the least.

Over time I've seen that religion can be a positive force. It can be a guiding beacon or something to fall onto when times are rough. And believe it or not, there are legitimate Christian organisations that run on a charitable basis (Benny Hinn ain't one of 'em, so don't even think about it). These are the bases my Mom looks at, while at the same time acknowledging that the Church is kinda screwed up right now. And for that I commend her for being an optimist.

That's what she wishes my outlook was like. Unfortunately I've seen along with the good, the...not so good. And I refuse to mask either. I'm not cynic, just a realist.

Balance of good and evil I suppose... :rolleyes:

If you see more than just a few things wrong with it, it obviously isn't for you. You need to sit down and think about it, read, find out more. Maybe find your own path. That's what I did, and yes my Catholic nan isn't happy with my choice, but
a) she still loves and respects me and my decision and
b)she lives three hrs away, so I rarely see her anyway

But more importantly my mum understands and respects my decision that I make - parents only want us to be happy, unless they're trolls in disguise. ;)

I agree w/ Satanic Chicken. If you feel Catholicism isn't for you, find out about other beliefs and find the one that suits you. Also i don't think you're parents would treat you any differently if you follow another religon. Although, i recommend possibly not telling other family members depending on how... 'different' of a religon you decide to follow.

I agree w/ Satanic Chicken. If you feel Catholicism isn't for you, find out about other beliefs and find the one that suits you. Also i don't think you're parents would treat you any differently if you follow another religon. Although, i recommend possibly not telling other family members depending on how... 'different' of a religon you decide to follow.

Yeah that was my mistake with my nan...

I don't know if your church is more along the lines of Vatican I or II (there are TONS in America and Europe that practice the beliefs of V-I, but as I don't know where you are.....), but it sounds a heck of a lot more strict that everything I was taught. I was brought up Catholic as well, and I think that if you're still in with God but questioning the teachings of the Church, maybe you should just put off your Confirmation until you know FOR SURE what to do. I put mine off until I was 18, just because I wanted to be absolutely sure Catholicism was the road I wanted to take, and I'm a lot more satisfied about it after having given myself the time to think. I'm not at all promising it'll help, but if nothing else it'll give you time to look into anything else you may be interested in.

'Course, the other option is, if you DO go through with Confirmation, to just convert to any other religion you choose and leave the Church. Seriously, don't tell any other Catholics I said this (lest it get back to my priest or the nuns at the Convent I study at each year....), but Excommunication really isn't a big problem if you're not looking to be a Catholic anymore.

Just my suggestion, I doubt you'll actually follow it, but I hope you do take it into consideration :D (I'd normally say a hearty "God Bless", but don't know if that's exactly the best way to go about this one....soooo.....) Best of luck, hope you figure something out that's gonna work for you!

how old are you?

its very common in your teen years to question everything about religion. it would be better to let your family know that you take the idea of confirmation so seriously that you want to be sure of it before you do it. they should respect you for it.

give it time. you may find that in a few years it all makes better sense to you, you may find that a different christian denomination fits you better, you may find that it makes no sense whatsoever. there is no rush, you have the rest of your life to decide.