NationStates Jolt Archive


Good Defention of Christian

Sexy Andrew
16-05-2005, 01:21
Good definition of "christian"

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This should clear things up for anyone who doesn't know what a christian is.


Quote:
Dying Neo-pagan subculture which quickly became an epidemic. Christians can be found the length and breadth of the country, hanging around any of their temples,, off licence or just hanging around the streets, where they pass the time by vandalising property of other religions, drinking wine(which they beleive is the blood of their savior), shouting abuse at passers by and people of other religions.

Appearance: Christians have a strict dress code. Designer labels are everything, although knocked off/fake items are almost de-rigeur. Typically, the male christian will wear a black or brown suit, tight hi worn trousers, black dress shoes, or many other styles of clothing. The female christian (christianette) will have brown hair scrunched so tight into a bun with colourful scrunchies that her forehead stretches. She will wear a dark blue suit with white socks, an enormous panther skin jacket, gold earrings, and white socks. Female christians are forbidden from wearing tatoos, and all christians must wear as much gold jewellery as they can fit on their bodies. Mobiles are an added status symbol, and when equipped, the christian must shout into it in the most anti-social way possible, using at least one expletive and the words "hail mary" per second. Every other word in between should be unrecognisable to non-christians.

Attitude: The christian's attitude depends heavily on the number of mates backing him up. If he's on his own, he'll skulk along anonymously. In numbers, he'll challenge anyone to anything.
Haverton
16-05-2005, 01:26
Good definition of "christian"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This should clear things up for anyone who doesn't know what a christian is.


Quote:
Dying Neo-pagan subculture which quickly became an epidemic. Christians can be found the length and breadth of the country, hanging around any of their temples,, off licence or just hanging around the streets, where they pass the time by vandalising property of other religions, drinking wine(which they beleive is the blood of their savior), shouting abuse at passers by and people of other religions.

Appearance: Christians have a strict dress code. Designer labels are everything, although knocked off/fake items are almost de-rigeur. Typically, the male christian will wear a black or brown suit, tight hi worn trousers, black dress shoes, or many other styles of clothing. The female christian (christianette) will have brown hair scrunched so tight into a bun with colourful scrunchies that her forehead stretches. She will wear a dark blue suit with white socks, an enormous panther skin jacket, gold earrings, and white socks. Female christians are forbidden from wearing tatoos, and all christians must wear as much gold jewellery as they can fit on their bodies. Mobiles are an added status symbol, and when equipped, the christian must shout into it in the most anti-social way possible, using at least one expletive and the words "hail mary" per second. Every other word in between should be unrecognisable to non-christians.

Attitude: The christian's attitude depends heavily on the number of mates backing him up. If he's on his own, he'll skulk along anonymously. In numbers, he'll challenge anyone to anything.

Christian: One who believes Jesus Christ is the divine Son of God.

I see you're a pissed off chav. Well, since you seem to be the wiggers of the UK, I can't say you're going to be very pleasant.
Chicken pi
16-05-2005, 01:27
Ho ho ho. I see that you have wittily emulated the chav thread, but have subtly altered aspects of the post, so that it accurately reflects certain characteristics of Christians in an amusing manner. What a jolly old lark!
Sexy Andrew
16-05-2005, 01:29
Christian: One who believes Jesus Christ is the divine Son of God.

I see you're a pissed off chav. Well, since you seem to be the wiggers of the UK, I can't say you're going to be very pleasant.

lol no i live in canada and i jsut thought it would be a fairly witty thing to do
Pongoar
16-05-2005, 02:10
*SNIP*
Dude, your ignorance is showing.
Common Europe
16-05-2005, 02:18
This whole thread is pointless.

There is no definition for a good christian just like there's no definition for a good person. People value things in different ways, and the new testiment is too vague on what makes a good christian.
Maedhros Aldarion
16-05-2005, 02:29
Well, I don't know what kind of Christians you've met in your lifetime, but I seriously hope you don't ever refer to them as Christians again. Christians can't be defined just as "white people" (which, yes I am white) can't be defined. They are numerous in variety as well as in doctines, though they DO all have one thing in common: they (the true ones anyways) have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Even in wittiness, please do not put the Christians in a box as you would not want to be put in yourself--we are people with emotions and even pride in ourselves as anyone else in this world is. I may not agree with say a Muslim, but I will still treat every Muslim with respect and dignity. To lower myself to any standard less than that would only demoralize myself and not the one to whom I am referring. I would never look down on a person simply because they don't share my beliefs even if I do believe that my Jesus is the only way to Heaven. I would gladly listen to someone else's point of view and listen to the logic behind their resonings as well as give them some of my own. To finish my ranting without going on for pages more, don't scorn Christians just because we have a different belief--ask questions and maybe point out what you think is wrong specifically. And DON'T put me in a box. I hate boxes.

~Maedhros Aldarion
~Skylark on Londinivm
Gartref
16-05-2005, 02:35
Good Defention of Christian


I can't agree with the act of Christian "Defention".

Look, I know Christians can be a pain in the butt sometimes - but nobody deserves to be defenched.
Cumulo Nimbusland
16-05-2005, 02:37
I can't agree with the act of Christian "Defention".

Look, I know Christians can be a pain in the butt sometimes - but nobody deserves to be defenched.

LOL, so true, so true. :D
Avios
16-05-2005, 02:40
I think I'm going to defench atheists one of these days.
Super-power
16-05-2005, 02:44
Yay for trolling IBTL
-NOT - seriously, what is with you anti-religious folks?
Gartref
16-05-2005, 02:44
I think I'm going to defench atheists one of these days.

Really Sir! I find that statement indefenchable!
Fascist Squirrels
16-05-2005, 02:53
Okay, I don't like Christians either, but... dude, no.
Tooner
16-05-2005, 03:04
I think all Christians should be put in a box... Then that box should be burned. I'm sorry if you don't agree with MY beliefs (well, not that sorry). :sniper:
Xanaz
16-05-2005, 03:06
Christians = very afraid or very pissed off.. :D
[NS]Simonist
16-05-2005, 04:11
Christians = very afraid or very pissed off.. :D
Erm......well, I'm neither afraid NOR pissed off....but then I can appreciate the humour of this thread :D
Lochiel
16-05-2005, 04:29
Simonist']Erm......well, I'm neither afraid NOR pissed off....but then I can appreciate the humour of this thread :D

Perhaps the humor of his ignorance. Honestly, how hard are you trying to create massive flamage, dude?

I am a Christian, but I don't think you hit the nail on my head. The people who are like don't deserve to be called anything but scum.
[NS]Simonist
16-05-2005, 04:36
Perhaps the humor of his ignorance. Honestly, how hard are you trying to create massive flamage, dude?

I am a Christian, but I don't think you hit the nail on my head. The people who are like don't deserve to be called anything but scum.
No, no, I don't mean I was sitting here going "Man, man, dude....hilarity ensues!" but I could see, with some level of ironic humour, how far this religious divide has gotten on this board.
Sorry if that was misconstrued.
Lochiel
16-05-2005, 04:38
Simonist']No, no, I don't mean I was sitting here going "Man, man, dude....hilarity ensues!" but I could see, with some level of ironic humour, how far this religious divide has gotten on this board.
Sorry if that was misconstrued.

Nah, I understood you. I just used your quote. :D
Mutated Sea Bass
16-05-2005, 04:48
Good definition of "christian"
SNIP


Sexy Andrew your a good definition of another boring Christophobe :rolleyes:
honestly man, your nothing but a bigot really.
Zapatistand
16-05-2005, 04:53
my opinion:

Organized religion :sniper:

Name one good thing Christianity has given us. One really good thing thats helped people on a world scale.
Gartref
16-05-2005, 04:55
my opinion:

Organized religion :sniper:

Name one good thing Christianity has given us. One really good thing thats helped people on a world scale.

Champagne.
[NS]Simonist
16-05-2005, 04:58
my opinion:

Organized religion :sniper:

Name one good thing Christianity has given us. One really good thing thats helped people on a world scale.
Well I can't speak for anybody else's church, but ours not only partially funds thirteen homeless shelters/soup kitchens in coordination with other Catholic or Episcopal ministries around the area, but also a lot of churches in our area send their youth groups all over the Americas (and their older, more experienced travellers to Africa) to build shelters for homeless, help teach them skills to work towards employment, aid in farming communes, etc. without preaching or any true "missionary" work.

Or....does that not count?
Zapatistand
16-05-2005, 05:07
oh no doubt individual chruches do some good (though the religion in general is part of the poverty problem) but the religion as a whole... nothing.
[NS]Simonist
16-05-2005, 05:22
oh no doubt individual chruches do some good (though the religion in general is part of the poverty problem) but the religion as a whole... nothing.
How can you justify saying that "religion in general is part of the poverty problem" when you don't even know the regions we're helping? The three times I've been to South America, we've gone to regions where there ARE no real churches, no grandiose Cathedrals, no wasted expenses on religious festivals or rebuilding statues of saints.
I agree that overall, in some areas of the world, religious orders add to the poverty level. I do think it's wrong that in some second-world countries I've seen, the best-kept thing in the entirety of the largest city in the area is the house of worship, but it's also a matter of pride of the citizens, in some matters. But sometimes, the impoverished have nothing left to truly rely on BUT their faith, and therefore put more into the upkeep of their religious buildings.
I think that while you've most certainly made some valid points, I personally believe that you really don't have any place to point fingers until you've SEEN how it is in other places.
Lochiel
16-05-2005, 06:44
oh no doubt individual chruches do some good (though the religion in general is part of the poverty problem) but the religion as a whole... nothing.

Personal opinion, not what you can prove.
Maedhros Aldarion
16-05-2005, 23:24
What good has Christianity done for the ENTIRE WORLD?!??!! Come on man! What good have I PERSONALLY done the ENTIRE WORLD? Absolutely nothing! Are you telling me I'm not worth anything? My motto is something like "changing the world one person (or deed) at a time." That's all anyone can do. Chrsitianity isn't about religion--it's about an individual. Whatever denomination you're in isn't important. I love Catholics, I love Methodists, I love Lutherans--and I love my own church. They're all just divisions that believe the same fundmental truth: God is God and Jesus is His Son in a nutshell. Once again, I could rant forever, but I'll be done now.

~By the way, I attend a Bible College and I'm STILL open-minded. LOL!

I also appreciate the humor of much of this thread. :)
Zotona
16-05-2005, 23:34
Chrisitian: One who believes in an all-powerful "god" which is "perfect" yet allows pain and suffering throughout the world and does nothing about it and requires that all humans "worship" "him" in order to be accepted into "heaven".
Haloman
16-05-2005, 23:36
What good has Christianity done for the ENTIRE WORLD?!??!! Come on man! What good have I PERSONALLY done the ENTIRE WORLD? Absolutely nothing! Are you telling me I'm not worth anything? My motto is something like "changing the world one person (or deed) at a time." That's all anyone can do. Chrsitianity isn't about religion--it's about an individual. Whatever denomination you're in isn't important. I love Catholics, I love Methodists, I love Lutherans--and I love my own church. They're all just divisions that believe the same fundmental truth: God is God and Jesus is His Son in a nutshell. Once again, I could rant forever, but I'll be done now.

~By the way, I attend a Bible College and I'm STILL open-minded. LOL!

I also appreciate the humor of much of this thread. :)

Great post- It does NOT matter what denomination you are as long you as you believe that God is God and Jesus is His son.
Haloman
16-05-2005, 23:39
Chrisitian: One who believes in an all-powerful "god" which is "perfect" yet allows pain and suffering throughout the world and does nothing about it and requires that all humans "worship" "him" in order to be accepted into "heaven".

Take a step back and think about your logic. If God didn't let pain and suffering happen, how would we know what joy and happiness was? There'd be no bad things to compare the good things to, and the world would be one bland ass place. There'd be no feelings. I think you need to read The Giver, by Lois Lowry.
Zotona
16-05-2005, 23:42
Take a step back and think about your logic. If God didn't let pain and suffering happen, how would we know what joy and happiness was? There'd be no bad things to compare the good things to, and the world would be one bland ass place. There'd be no feelings. I think you need to read The Giver, by Lois Lowry.
Read it, loved it, 20+ times. :p In my opinion, no being with any compassion in them would allow such suffering as there is in the world to continue without interfering. You don't have to agree.
New Watenho
17-05-2005, 00:30
Look at me! Look at me! Look at meeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*ahem*

To address the matter at hand, the far more important question is "What is God's morally defensible reason for suffering?" At an estimate it would seem there is far more suffering in the world than happiness, for everyone happy must work to stay happy, but poverty and disease produce self-propagating misery, and since many have never heard of Jesus Christ, let alone that he is the Son of God (I've been to places in China where, when asked, one kid had heard in the playground He was a Western superhero, like Superman, because He saves people) that's far more bound for Hell than Heaven, if we're strict about it.

What, then, is God's morally defensible reason for creating a world with so much more suffering than happiness? Please, let's have no "Fall broke our relationship with Him", either, because that argument has Him judging all of humanity on the basis of the actions of two, and we know He wouldn't even judge a city on the basis of ten, so you have no precedent. Then, why the world of such hugely negative utility?
Mutated Sea Bass
17-05-2005, 06:55
I am a good Christian. :)
Sinus Draconum
17-05-2005, 07:20
"Jesus said in answer, The first is, Give ear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord;

And you are to have love for the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.

The second is this, Have love for your neighbour as for yourself. There is no other law greater than these."

Mark 12:29 - 31
Liskeinland
17-05-2005, 08:48
oh no doubt individual chruches do some good (though the religion in general is part of the poverty problem) but the religion as a whole... nothing. Stopped the wide-scale infanticide in Rome? CAFOD?
Pax Topaz
17-05-2005, 09:28
Chrisitian: One who believes in an all-powerful "god" which is "perfect" yet allows pain and suffering throughout the world and does nothing about it and requires that all humans "worship" "him" in order to be accepted into "heaven".

Take a step back and look at it like this. To even begin this argument, at least from your statement, one must believe that there is a God, and that everything the Bible as said about his works is true.

At first, God didn't permit suffering and pain in the Universe. At the Garden of Eden he gave man (Adam and Eve) all they required to survive and an extremely good place to live. However, God gave man the chance to choose its own fait, since God did give mankind free will (the ability to act by your own choice). He told man not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. A simple request, since God gave before them in the Garden of Eden all the fruit they would need to survive, along with meat, and vegetables.

If you read the Book of Gensis it tells you in simple form what happened. Eve was tempted by the Serpeant (Satan) to eat the fruit. Why? Because upon eating it, like God said, Mankind would surely die. Eve as we know ate the apple first, Adam followed in quick fashion. Thus both Man and Woman ate the apple, and thus both now suffer because of it. After the Garden of Eden, God told man to work the lands by himself, and to create his own Civilation. No longer would God giving a free hand out to man.

So if you look at it from that logic. Humanity is the cause of Humanity's suffering. God already gave us the chance to live in a perfect world, and we rejected it willingly.
Maniacal Me
17-05-2005, 11:38
<snip>

You want the Christian God to intervene to deal with bad things?
OK, here is a quick list of some of the things he will stop you doing:
Swearing.
Blasphemy.
Lying.
Deceiving.
Covetousness.
Worshiping anything besides him.
Adultery.
Fornication.
Homosexuality.

Do you really want that? Or are you asking that God intervene to stop the things that you personally don't approve of but that he should leave the things you do approve of alone?
The grand lord of hell
17-05-2005, 11:53
I think all Christians should be put in a box... Then that box should be burned. I'm sorry if you don't agree with MY beliefs (well, not that sorry). :sniper:

Tooner your the man
Mutated Sea Bass
18-05-2005, 04:04
I think all Christians should be put in a box... Then that box should be burned. I'm sorry if you don't agree with MY beliefs (well, not that sorry). :sniper:

No problem, as long as you dont care, if I put you in a box and burn it as well?