How to Surrender Your Personality to Google
Terronian
14-05-2005, 04:26
Is this technological world of ours, we have all become the consequences of a long and elaborate sequence of decisions. A consequence of this information revolution is that the people are given much more freedom, thus having more decisions to make for themselves. In fact, that is a very handy way of measuring freedom, how many decisions on has to do for themselves. And if you do some research at past events, people aren't very good at making decisions.
I have found a solution. It involves selling our souls even more to our computer, a way to get a shortcut to conformity, acceptance and happiness.
You surrender your personality to google.
Let's call it googlification.
This comprises two things: google, and the word "sucks". Google is good at reflecting, in a crude and plain manner, the thoughts and will of the people.
Now, how does this work? Let's have an example. I can do two things, continue typing or change clothes. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Let's let google have this one.
'clothes suck' 970,000
'typing sucks' 1,870,000
Therefore, as the vox populi has established, typing sucks more than clothes, so I shall proceed to change clothes.
Okay, so that wasn't a life important situation. Let's proceed to a more important one. Should I hit on this chick with big boobs? Or start on a journey to save the ozone layer?
'big boobs suck' 711,000
'ozone layer sucks' 27,400
Now, this spirit of google can sometimes be confusing, but one has to follow it, as it is the will of the internets.
Now, onto more important decisions, should I follow my dream and become a pornstar? Or start a campaign to be president of Bavaria?
'pornstars suck' 579
'presidents suck' 173,000
Kiss my ass you presidents!
'left sucks' 2,820,000
'right sucks' 4,320,000
Kiss my right butt cheek, presidents!
Harlesburg
14-05-2005, 04:32
Your an Idiot i like that!
Can i play?
'Czardas sucks' 269
'New ruler sucks' 74,700
w00t me!
~Czardas, (Still) Supreme Ruler of the Universe
Forumwalker
14-05-2005, 04:44
You sir are insane. I like you already.
Catushkoti
14-05-2005, 05:02
You are officially the coolest guy in the history of mentallers. I'm naming my currency after you, you crazy god!
I think I like this, BUT I CANNOT UNDERSTAND!
Simplify for me. My brain isn't working right now. So much biology and english...
BLARGistania
14-05-2005, 05:07
'BLARGistania Sucks' - 3
'Czardas Sucks' - 548
You lose.
~BLARGistania the (new) Supreme Ruler of the Universe.
Patra Caesar
14-05-2005, 05:35
'BLARGistania Sucks' - 3
'Patra Caesar sucks' - 0
:D
'VoteEarly Sucks' - 11
'Potaria Sucks' - 3
Muahaha, I win!
Mentholyptus
14-05-2005, 05:43
Mentholyptus sucks - 88
"Mentholyptus sucks" - 0
Odd. Almost. Serves me right for picking a nation name that is the same as a type of cough drop.
on an unrelated note:
BLARGistania sucks - 3
[my full name] sucks - 0
Interestingly enough, Google has also revealed unto me that there is a city in my home state of Arizona with my name. Praise Be Unto Google!
Hmm... I do not know if I look better with or without my glasses. I shall googlify the issue:
wear glasses: 2,320,000
glasses suck: 803,000
Very well then, I will wear my glasses more often! :cool:
Cumulo Nimbusland
14-05-2005, 06:51
Ooh, this is fun.
Should I become a meteorologist or an artist?
"meteorologists suck" 31
"artists suck" 1,940
Whatd'ya know, a meteorologist.
Leliopolis
14-05-2005, 07:02
oo! oo! oo! thats so fun! oo! oo! oo!
how bout this:
"english AP sucks" 155,000
"US History AP sucks" 168,000
__________________________________________________
o man, i want to take english ap though! o well, google knows best! lol, ya right, im taking english ap goshdarneditall! (lol, i just typed goshdarneditall)
your crazy! i love you! lets reproduce and create crazy-crazy babies! lol, no, i dont want kids.... oy vay its late at night! lalalalalala "get in my tummy!!"
The Nations of Nowhere
14-05-2005, 07:03
"I Suck" - 838,000
"You Suck" - 928,000
Well then, that settles it.
You suck.
Leliopolis
14-05-2005, 07:03
an even better one:
"fast bastard sucks" 191,000
or
"austin powers sucks" 121,000
yes! power to the fat people!!! muahaha, i can be QUEEN again!
Cumulo Nimbusland
14-05-2005, 07:05
an even better one:
"fast bastard sucks" 191,000
or
"austin powers sucks" 121,000
yes! power to the fat people!!! muahaha, i can be QUEEN again!
Umm, more means worse. That means Austin Powers wins... :p
Pyrostan
14-05-2005, 07:06
Great! I can finally have a way to decide whether to become a history professor, or a politician!
Politicians suck: 1,750,000
Teachers suck: 710,000
Teaching it is! Politicians must REALLY suck, I can't believe I even considered that...
Disganistan
14-05-2005, 10:30
"cell phones suck" - 662,000
"himalayas suck" - 21,900
I won't be back, I'm heading to Nepal!
SimNewtonia
14-05-2005, 11:05
"music sucks" - 46,500
"law sucks" - 694
Interesting...
Myrth sucks - 363
Cogitation sucks - 765
Frisbeeteria sucks - 12
Colodia sucks - 4
Well a great mystery has been solved
Bush sucks - 1,600,000
Kerry sucks - 631,000
Al Gore sucks - 193,000
Another mystery...SOLVED!
Greater Yubari
14-05-2005, 19:11
If Bush, Kerry and Gore suck... the question must be... What are they sucking??
But do we really want to know?!
Cumulo Nimbusland
14-05-2005, 19:13
If Bush, Kerry and Gore suck... the question must be... What are they sucking??
But do we really want to know?!
The answer?
I don't want to know.
"Linux sucks" : 13900
"Microsoft sucks" : 19200 (Windows: 20200)
:D
Kellarly
14-05-2005, 19:29
Ladies and Gentlemen....welcome to the world of
Google Fight (http://www.googlefight.com/)
Kellarly
14-05-2005, 19:33
http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Kellarly&word2=Every+other+being+in+this+universe+and+all+others
hmmmm
owned :(
Sesquipedalianism
14-05-2005, 19:37
Should I become a rock star, or a bounty hunter?
I think I'll ask Google:
"bounty hunters suck" - 48
"rock stars suck" - 289
Bounty Hunter it is! sounds fun...
Perhaps it is appropiate to check the sucks statement with an rules / rocks statement.
This could refine the statement won out of google. 'Cause you can state a percentage pro/con on an issue if you take those two searches into account.
I even heard some guys intent to teach an AI some human semantics via google, so you can make a whole science out of this...
just to complement my last post:
"linux rules" : 18500
"Microsoft rules" : 5350 (Windows: 810)
Sesquipedalianism
14-05-2005, 19:47
The "_____ sucks" method is alot better than google fight. Here is the only proof i need: http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=the+british&word2=the+french
Kellarly
14-05-2005, 19:53
The "_____ sucks" method is alot better than google fight. Here is the only proof i need: http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=the+british&word2=the+french
http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=Great+Britain+and+populace&word2=France+and+populace
obviously you have to word it right ;)
BLARGistania
15-05-2005, 00:08
Mentholyptus Just Got PW3ND! (http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=BLARGistania&word2=Menthlyptus)
Nimzonia
15-05-2005, 00:20
Capitalism sucks: 186,000
Communism sucks: 125,000
Socialism sucks: 118,000
Anarchism sucks: 15,400
Anarchy wins! Hooray!
Nationstates sucks = 11 800
Essay sucks = 2,160,000
Damnit, this means I shall continue to browse NS instead of doing my Ancient History essay. ^.^
OMG! BATTLE OF THE SEXES!
http://www.googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=he&word2=she
See yourself who wins...
Franziskonia
15-05-2005, 01:23
"It" pwns both.
So, should I become a lesbian? Google says:
lesbians suck-1,030,000
straight people suck-1,950,000
All right! That's it, I will now become a lesbian! :p